Saturday, 30 August 2008
i did meet a nice lady, or so i thought but she was not so nice,
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Monday, 25 August 2008
Saturday, 23 August 2008
But that was not how this day went.
Last night I fell asleep in the middle of writing a post, not overly unusual, this morning I wasn't so happy with the post and deleted half of it. I was just about done with it when LV began chatting. I had already decided that a visit into town was on the cards for today. JA needed new school shoes, I also wanted to visit the bank, JA lost his bank card at the start of the holidays. Last week when I was travelling with Mei one of the things we discussed was bank accounts. I have no idea how we got onto that topic. But Mei was able to pass on a valuable piece of information which would help me to resolve the problem of the joint account I still have with SF even though neither of us still use it. All the time this account is open I cannot disassociate myself from SF's large debts.
Our post which usually arrives at about 1.30pm came very much earlier today. Not long after, OJ asked me if I want some money. Of course the answer would have to be yes. He handed me a cheque for £50!!! Not only was this unexpected but the name on the cheque was enough of a shock that if I had been standing at the time I would have fallen over with shock. It was from my former mother in law (who since the divorce regards me as the wicked witch of the west). Recently the warden run flat she had moved to some years ago had been sold to developers. According to her letter she has received a sum of compensation. She sent cheques to each of us for £50 each.
My trip to the bank now became a family outing. We arrived en mass to deposit our new found wealth (such that it is). We then took over a corner of the bank as we dealt with a variety of issues. Each one of the boys had a different problem with their accounts. Then it was my turn. I think I must have been there for about an hour closing down all the accounts other than my current account. I now have the facility to operate my banking online but without the disadvantage of having the old joint account open. I can now cut my ties with SF's financial nightmare. which should help my own credit rating. Thanks for the tip Mei. The bank was followed by the back to school/college annual purchase of new pencil cases, pens/pencils, writing paper etc. As I headed to the shoe shop JA told me he doesn't need new shoes after all but he need new trousers as he can't find the ones I bought him in June!! I have told him to tidy his room he will find them.
This evening the boys had been invited to a bbq with their father, I was going to buy myself something for my solo dinner when I decided to make the most of the sunshine. Taking my camera I headed off to my favourite chalk ridge. Stopping first at the most easterly carpark I joined several dog walkers on the open green space I took a few photos to compare with similar ones I had taken from the same spot last autumn.
Turning back east I stopped at the main carpark where the bikers and boy racers congregate en mass near to the very popular burger van. A few more photos, partly to see the difference in view from less than 1/2 mile further along the road, partly to show how green the city is considering how how densly populated it is. It never fails to amaze me how many trees and green areas can be seen from above.
Next stop the car park where I used to meet swinger for our mugs of hot tea/coffee and very nice hot dogs (this is what I had decided to have for my supper). But when I arrived ther trees had grown more than a little obscuring some of the view, the little car park was quite busy but worst of all our burger van was gone, replaced by another.
It wouldn't have been the same so I departed choosing to take the road down the back of the ridge winding through green country side with glimpses of golden fields, straw bales waiting to be moved. Driving along country lanes randomly turning not know where they led to. Until I reached he village with a well known vineyard and Indian restaurant run by the acclaimed chef Atul Kochhar, still driving I found the turning for Vatika Restaurant, then continued my aimless meandering until I found myself at the beach not far from home. a few more pictures looking out to sea
and back home just in time to get comfortable when the boys returned.
I have just read Mel's latest post ...............her young daughter has stage 1 cancer and I would like you to join me in sending her positive thought to help them get through this.
Friday, 22 August 2008
conversations that make me smile
conversations full of lust
conversations that make me cringe
conversations that make me think
conversations that make me deceitful
Percy wrote a post about Teasing, flirting and Seducing. He talked about the difference between the three. This got me thinking about how I behave.
I have always enjoyed teasing my friends. They in turn tease me too.
I have discovered that I enjoy flirting on the phone or online, I take my teasing to another level by being suggestive in my teasing. I have often referred to my job as being paid to flirt. I find it easy to flirt on the phone or online because the person I am flirting with can't see me. He can imagine me to be the perfect sexual woman in his eyes, but more than that I can pretend in my own mind that I am sexy.
Some of my customers flirt with me, Garfield makes lewd suggestions, his conversations are very sexual. Sometimes he gets so involved in this that he forgets the reason he rang in the first place. It is just banter between two people who have met through work, he tells me what he likes, he asks me what I like, sometimes his conversations get too intrusive and I have to tell him that I am not having this conversation. I have noticed recently that I have become uncomfortable with these conversations. It isn't because he makes me uncomfortable, it is because I am changing. Where I had found these conversations amusing I now find them more distatesful. I feel that by having these chats I am being disrespecting of the man who holds my heart.
Earlier in the week I was chatting with Lotto. He told me how much he had enjoyed seeing me last week. He told me how he had wanted me the moment he saw me. I smile to myself as I remember that it hadn't been obvious but then Lotto is good at hiding his desires. Either he is very good at acting cool or I just wasn't looking for the signs. He asks me if I wanted him as soon as I saw him, I am not sure how to answer. I don't want to lead him on by saying yes, but equally I don't want to hurt him by saying no, so I avoid giving a straight answer.
Earlier in the week I had an unexpected chat with Thomas aka My Knight. He is so gorgeous and sexy and unexplicably he desires me as much as I desire him. But our lustathon has changed. we both lust after the other but now he knows my heart is Romeo's. We talk about the impossibility of monogamy. I assert my belief that I can and will be monogomous. It was never a problem for me in the past so I don't believe it will be now. He doesn't believe he would be faithful even if he was getting what he wanted at home. During our conversation it becomes evident that our conversations in the future will never be the same again. How could they be, we have always been so liberal with our expression of lust for each other. I can't do that now and he doesn't expect it. From now our comunications will be friendly but much more chaste than in the past.
Talking to Garfield, Lotto and Thomas has made me realise that I don't feel comfortable talking so intimately with any man other than Romeo.
This brings me to seduction, Romeo is the only man I want to seduce, he is the only man I want to be seduced by. In a way the last few months have been a mutual seduction for us. Long may this continue
I know that many men like Ron wil disagree with me, that talking dirty with anyone other than Romeo is a betrayal, but I am looking at it this way, as harmless banter it is fun but I know I would not be happy if I thought Romeo was talking dirty with other women so I won't do it with other men anymore.
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Monday, 18 August 2008
I checked on map quest the directions to get to Mei’s place, my printer is not connected so I wrote out the directions from M3. I bought a new map book, in the end I took a different route as in the route Mei takes when she drives home from Winchester. That was fine until I got to London and the North Circular. I rang Mei for directions from there. The funniest bit was when I was stuck behind a bus that had not quite pulled into a bus stop. Mei was telling me to turn right at the next junction.......impossible with 3 lanes of busy traffic between me and the right turn. Eventually pulling out from behind the bus with an oncoming coach blasting his horn at me, I’m telling him to go away and shut up then remember Mei and tell her I didn’t mean her. Finally she manages to direct me the right way and as I turn down the last hill there she is waving at me from the side of the road.
So that is how I managed to drive into London for the first time ever. The driving was fine it was not knowing where I was going when I got there that was my only problem. Mei made me very welcome with a refreshing cup of tea before loading up her car and setting off towards the Peak District. Mei and I managed to chat constantly for almost the whole of the drive (3 hrs). We were chatting so much that when we set off I tried to text Fire that we were on our way only I managed to send my text to Romeo by mistake. We landed at Fire’s home at about 6pm so once we had handed over the bottles we had brought with us, I changed into one of my new red skirts and the red heels. A glass of champagne thrust into our hands and we began to catch up with QV and Trousers who I had met when I visited Fire last December.
Right I need an early night as its back to work tomorrow.
Sunday, 17 August 2008
The result being
3 x pink skirts, 2 x red skirts, 1 x white flowered skirt, 1 x green skirt, 1 x beige skirt and finally 1 x brown skirt.
1 x cream satin blouse, 1 x see through black shirt and 1 x pink shirt
1 x red shoes, 2 x pink shoes and 1 x brown shoes
1 x rose quartz necklace and 1 x amber bead necklace
I have also done a bit of socialising this week..............ok so normally I am too tired to be social after a long day at work but with a week off I made the most of it.
Wednesday evening I went out for dinner with Lotto sssshhhhh keep it under your hat, don't go telling everyone, he finally persuaded me to meet up with him for a drink again, which then became dinner. Being in his company was pleasant but I did find myself wishing I was with Romeo instead.
Thursday afternoon I visited Harvey to help him complete a job application, he later picked me up to go for a drink and socialise with others from the dating site where I found Romeo. It was good to catch up with a few of the people I met last year. But I didn't really want to stay very late, neither did Harvey as he had an early start in the morning. We were chatting to one woman 'gold' who I think liked him and vice versa although he says she was hard work. They had met last month and she had even asked him out for a drink. I tried to give them space together, I didn't want people thinking we were a couple. It is odd going to the social events now that I am no longer in the market to be pulled. I text Mei a couple of times during the evening just to keep myself occupied. On the way home Harvey asked me why I am so good to him. He is a friend and I am always happy to help friends when they need it as long as he doesn't come on to me. He did comment that I was welcome to stay over at his place but it was only a joke as we both know the answer would be negative.
Friday I went out for lunch with my mum. we went to the pub where I had my wedding reception all those years ago. In those days we were very pally with the landlord and landlady who had been running the pub we frequented when we lived in Tunbridge Wells, just by coincidence they moved down here a week after I did. SF was the last customer to be thrown out at the end of their last shift at the pub in TW and the first customer waiting at their door when they opened for the first time down here. This pub is not easy to find if you don't know the area but has had a very good reputation for good food and for its history. A former England cricket captain did live in this road some years ago I have no idea if he still does. This pub was in fact two pubs one being 'The Lone Barn' had been transferred from elsewhere many years ago.
when we first began going there, there was a link between the two areas that was glass covered with tables and seating areas, now though it has been convered in keeping with the olde worlde style of the pub and a new kitchen built on the side of it. The food has gone more up market, but my salmon in puff pastry with roasted asparagus tips was delicious and the Almond, Honey and Apricot Cheese cake with thick channel Islandcream was devine. It did seem strange being in this place I ahve so many memories of and parts of it still look so familiar yet other parts so different.
After our meal I drove us around the local lanes, lanes I hadn't been alongfor years probably not since they had been used to film the popular 8o's series Howards Way.
Saturday saw me venturing into the North of London (the first time I have ever driven into London). It was fine except that my map does not show the names of the roads and I had no idea where to leave the North Circular or indeed where I was going from there so with Mei on the phone she guided me along until I found this crazy woman at the side of the road waving madly at me.
The rest of the weekend I shall blog about tomorrow so if you want to know how we got on you will have to come back later. It has been a long and tiring few days and now I am very tired.
Saturday, 16 August 2008
I will catch up with you all tomorrow as right now I have to get back to my almost full glass oh and the cards
Friday, 15 August 2008
A) Harvey ................. very brief fling that lasted 3 days last November. Has since joined the same dating site where I found my Romeo. From time to time we go together to social events organised by the dating site. He also from time to time enlists my help with things like filling in application forms, writing his CV etc. We are just good friends although I am aware that he would never kick me out of bed if I chose to be in his. Knows about Romeo.
B) Neptune ............. started chatting on dating site (same one) last September. Very slow starter but every time I considered giving up he would start chatting again we final met for a drink when I was on my way home from visiting Fire Byrd aka Pixie last December. We continued to chat and text for a while but gradually dwindled out. Every now and then he comes online and chats usually telling me I should go to bed as its getting late.
C)Forest .............. online friend who became lover for a few months last year now friends again. We chat regularly, its good to be mates again. Knows about Romeo, probably still wouldn't kick me out of bed if I chose to go there again.
D)Lotto ................male friend we met once 18 months ago and have flirted ever since. He has been trying to get me to meet him again even though he has a g/f and he knows about Romeo. wouldn't kick me out if bed if I chose to be there.
E) LV ....................Real life, met through work but now friends. He took me to Goodwood festival of Speed, has talked about going out for a meal. I am aware that he likes me, but he knows about Romeo.
F) Someone else .....................Difficult one this, any man I have flirted with in recent months knows about Romeo. (Theres no harm in flirting is there?)
Thursday, 14 August 2008
Mum for some reason I didn't wake up (it is about 8.30am by now)
Well that is probably because you had a late night
I had come home from my evening out to find only ET in the house. I had put the recycle bin out ready for the bin men early this this morning, watched the end of the cricket match the boys had gone to. checked the elecricity meter £0.72 ddashed to the garage to charge up the electricity key, and gone to bed by the time they came in. Drifting off in between catching up with blogging, writing a new fantasy (half way though it now). OJ and JA seemed to be taking it in turns to walk into my room to say something. I think it was around 2.30am the last time OJ came in to say goodnight and now hes surprised he didn't wake at the crack of dawn!!
Anyway off he went to catch the train, I assumed he was meeting his friends. A few minutes ago he text me and I called him back.
He has dropped 30 points in his maths because it was hard and he left it a bit late. But he is happy.
Further Maths = A
Pure Maths = A
Law = A (Particularly pleased)
ICT = B (just 3 points off getting A)
So my boy has 3 x A & 1 x B for his As levels now he has something to work on to get his full A levels next yr.
Congratulations OJ I knew you could do it xxxxxx
Next week we get ET's GCSE results
I have just had a very frustrating and unsatisfactory conversation with a young man at the HM Revenue & Customs.
I have finally received my final tax credits decisio for april 07 to april 08 (I've only been waiting since last summer)
My understanding having read this is that JA & ET were qualifying children, OJ is no longer a child (but it doesn't say that he qualifies as a young person in f/t education). however DC is a qualifying young person from 1/9/07 to feb 08 until his 20th birthday ?????? WTF
So I just figured out why my payments went down in feb 08 without any apparent explanation.
My award for april 08 to april 09 shows that JA & ET qualify as child elements until 31st Aug when ET s no longer a child (fair enough)
OJ qualifies as young person from 1/5/08 to 5/4/09 (so why did he not qualify until 1/5/08?)
Oh and I am totally mystified by the
Overpayment - £1090 of this £1090 is not being cllected at present WTF does that mean?
why do they think I have been over paid when do they intend to claim it back?
The young man could not answer my questions...........but he did tell me that the overpayment will have been postponed until a later pay award? So not only do I not know how or when they managed to over pay me but they could claim it back at any time in the future. I hate this but what makes it worse is this.
I queried that I have had a lumpsum paid into my account which apparently is money they owe me back dated to april 08. At this point I hadn't worked out that the money that stopped in Feb was down to DC's birthday. I asked if I would be paid back any money owing from before April.
Heres the shocker .......they only pay back dated payments 3 months ................so they can claim back indefinitely but will only backdate 3 months.
Each time I have contacted the HM Revenue in the last few years it has been by telephone (quicker easier and I get to explain my situation properly)
Now I figure I shall have to write out each and every change as in a time line of when my employment situation changed and when each of the boys left school started college and when DC finished college. Along side my interpretation of what they have awarded me because I am damn sure I can't make head or tail of what they have done. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
yesterday I spent all day watching the olympics, searching on ebay and blogging oh and from my position sat on my new bed I could see my boys and pals playing cricket on the green about 100 yds away.
I didn't even bother to get dressed I spent the whole day in my PJs which was wonderful, I don't think I have ever done that unless I'm ill. I felt so relaxed and content. Perhaps I should do this more often.
Today I treated myself to a visit to the hairdresser and had a catch up with 'my hairdresser' it was the first time she has cut my hair since last October. In December she couldn't cut my hair because she was too busy cutting my mum's hair then a few months ago her husband had a brain haemorage and was in a coma so she gave up work until he was better. I must say that by the time I left my hair looked absolutely fabulous. But it didn't last. Not long after this I was walking to my car ready to visit my mum when the heavens opened. I had my brolley bu both hands were full with things I was carrying. So my hair got wet and my lovely smooth straight hair became curly.
Although I hadn't told my mum I was going to visit her today she had a feeling I would and had some real cream chocolate eclairs to have with our cuppa.
After I had spent a couple of hours chatting to my mum about anything and everything including writing styles, she is thinking of going back to our creative writing classes. Now I am pondering should I do the same ......would be fun but could also be dangerous. Perhaps I shall do the belly dancing class instead. I went off to asda, first stopping at the bottle bank to get rid of all the bottles I have been accumulating. JA calls me an alcoholic but in truth 95% of the bottles are non alcoholic wine. Then it was a visit to an out of town business centre to collect one of my parcels. My pretty pink chiffon frill skirt has arrived. As has the pink samsung now I am not sure whether to keep it or give it to my mum as the phone I bought her for xmas has given up just like JA's one has (oh well I only paid £19 each for them).
I have been keeping an eye on the other items I had found on ebay. Since yesterday's post I have procured myself a rose quartz necklace, an amber bead necklace.
I also won a Randolph Duke reversible green skirt. Which then meant that I got another skirt at a great discount so I chose a Anttony Light Brown Mosaic of Love Skirt which I can't now find a picture of.
I have bought these shoes for a mere £0.99 plus p+p
But I am not sure which of these shoes to go for
these sling backs currently at £2.50 plus p+p or these sasha court shoes currently at £5 plus p+p
Then just in case you were not aware I am off to have fun with Fire Byrd aka Bollinger Byrd, collecting Mei Del on the way, there will be a fwe others there too. as far as I am aware there will be about 8 of us this time so who knows what fun we will manage to get up to.
If I'm really lucky I may even get to see Romeo at some point too.
which for some reason has reminded me that I was chatting tonight with LV about my latest fantasy. When I began writing it I had only the very first line in my mind, I had no idea who the characters would be or where the story would take me. When I got to the end I felt I ahd taken it as far as I could but later started building profiles in my mind for the two characters so perhaps I shall write more about them. LV seems to have enjoyed this one describing it as very hot. So if anyone else agrees perhaps I shall write some more. I had thought I had lost any inspiration to write these fantasies but maybe I am beginning to get my inspiration back.
Monday, 11 August 2008
I am also just 5 minutes away from this Per Una chocolate tafetta skirt.
I won I got it for £12.00 plus packaging
The next one I am after which ends in under half an hour is this one.
A Gorgeous skirt from Bhs. In a lovely baby pink colour, floaty style with detail to the bottom hand side(embroidery and sequin effect). Very pretty item in excellent condition. currently I have the only bid at £0.99
other skirts I am bidding on are these
Berkertex dusky pink beaded skirt currently only £2.99
Errrrr there seems to be a pink theme here so after this I stopped looking at pink skirts and found something a little diferent. In the form of this Rockabilly ruffle hem skirt currently at £2.50 with a few hours left to go.
What do you think ? will this make a change from baby pink? Oh I just won the second pink skirt for the grand total of £0.99 plus packaging.
So what else have I bid for? Only this burgundy velvet evening skirt with front split to show just enough leg. currently at £1.99 plus P+P
I think I shall give it a rest for a few hours and do something else like blogging lol
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
I find Lotto very sexy, his compliments and outright flattery have served me well during the time I have been waiting for Romeo. But the time came when he wanted to meet in a hotel room. The problem is that now that I have found Romeo I don't want to play around with anyone else. Romeo is the only man for me until or unless we break up. But Lotto is so tempting, I have managed to keep away from him but we have had lots of steamy conversations online and by text even phone sex once. But I always feel guilty. when we chat I always go through the will she won't she game. I feel bad for letting Lotto think that I might give in and meet him. I am not purposely leading him on because when we chat I do want to meet him. Its when we are not chatting that reason prevails.
A few weeks ago we were chatting when he got in a strop and said he wasn't going to bother any more. We had not spoken again since. I had been feeling bad about this because I want to explain to him that I wasn't messing him around I genuinely was struggling with meeting him or not. Its as though half of me was saying no, think about Romeo and the other half was saying yes meet him you know you want to. I resisted the temptation to email or text him. Obviously now that I have met Romeo I am even more determined to behave myself. Yesterday I saw Lotto was online, I half expected him to say something but he didn't. Late I left him an offline message just saying
I hope you are ok
I really should have just stayed silent. Tonight he was online again and we ended up chatting. He was telling me how much he fancies me still. Without meaning to I have found myself agreeing to be online tomorrow evening to exchange emails, photos and have phone sex. I didn't tell him about romeo so he still thinks that I have never met him. I don't want to lose him as a friend but I am going to remain loyal to Romeo.
I think I will have to email him to explain.
Last night I was chatting online with Forest who told me that he has sore elbows. I made a joke about him letting her go on top sometimes. This seems to have been a turning point in our friendship. Tonight we chatted again, we talked for the first time about our sexual relationship. I think now that I have Romeo it is possible for me to talk about me and Forest without it hurting. Apparently he has one regret and that is that he never managed to have anal sex with me. But really although it spanned 4 or 5 months we only actually had sex 3 times including my special friday.
i was thinking about you the other week, and in all the good times we had
what was the best for you
and all the exploration of you
and give you tlc when you had been a naughty girl that once
considering what an exciting lady you were to be with that would of been just as exciting and pleasurable i am sure
we talked about him calling me exciting as I have never thought of myself in that way.
i would have said I was more excitable than exciting
you are that but you are willing to take as well as give willing to let it happen and make it happen and willing to try that is exciting
we talked some more about the sex we had/hadn't had and the fact that I can now talk about it. We also talked about it being good that we managed to stay friends.
probaly cos we talked so much before hand to loose friendships like that
I missed that friendship after we met, sex got in the way
well time for bed for me take care of you little miss exciting
These were just a few excerpts from our conversation but it was the closest we have come to a real heart to heart for a long time. Before we met I used to tell forest everything he was the person I told all my adventures to he was the one I told of all my frustrations. He lifted me when I was feeling low, he calmed me when I was being excitable, he was my confidante, then we met and it all just fell apart as I got swept away on my emotions for this sexy man. As I said to him during this heart to heart, I don't regret the sex we had, but I do regret that our friendship suffered because of the sex. But now we are back to being friends without the sex and I feel much happier.
Instead I began a new work in progress.
I have a Title
I have an opening paragraph
I know how it ends, I even know how the twist at the end works
But I have no idea how to do the bit between the first paragraph and the end.
It is about a young girl but I don't know whether to write it about her but aimed at an older audience or whether to aim it at young girls. If the latter then I have to be careful not to be too clever in the vocabulary and grammar that I use.
does anyone have any thoughts.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Saturday, 2 August 2008
Friday, 1 August 2008
A week ago I didn't know I was about to meet Romeo
A week ago I was chatting online and falling asleep with my computer
A week ago I had good intentions of going to the gym and doing lots of spreadsheets for work
A week ago I was concerned that Romeo might reject me when we met
In the early hours of Saturday we chatted
In the early hours of Saturday we made a date
In the early hours of Saturday I fell asleep wearing a big grin
On saturday I made plans
On saturday I made purchases
On Saturday my world was rosy
On sunday I made preparations
On Sunday I made an impression on Romeo
On sunday I made out with Romeo for hours in a hotel room
On Monday I grinned a lot
On Monday I smiled all through my day
On Monday I exchanged text with my sweetheart
On Tuesday I yearned for his touch
On Tuesday I was still exhausted
On Tuesday I fell asleep with my laptop
On Wednesday I began a post on Battle
On Wednesday I witnessed a cut throat battle of the teams for promotion
On Wednesday I fell asleep exhausted again
On Thursday I received my first commission payment
On Thursday I parent sat my mother after her knee op
On Thursday Romeo asked me to keep him in my mind
On Friday I finally finished paying my 2007 Council Tax
On Friday I finally published this post
On Friday I am missing Romeo already