Saturday, 31 May 2008

vodka and more

You don't really want to read about drunken debauchery here right now do you so I won't write any.

As if I have not had enough, here I am drinking vodka while I blog, considering that I don't drink very often anyone would think that I had had more than enough vodka last night to last me a few weeks if not months.

If you were not aware of what I was upto last night it was bit of a get together with some of my blog friends. The occasion was one of Vi's friend's singing in one of the bars in her small town. There were meant to be more of us but there was some confusion over the day as Vi had said friday 31st. Obviously it couldn't be. Anyway after a bit of plane spotting on the way which they took to mean I was stuck near Luton airport........I should have been so lucky. The journey should have taken about 2 hours but after two hours I was in the M25 car park crawling towards the planes that had started off as inch long blobs in the sky until as I was updating the girls via my hands free I was so close to the planes I felt that I could reach out of the window grab hold of the plane as it passed over and hitch a lift

.........perhaps I had a premonition as I sent an email from work as I was leaving saying

I'm leaving on a jet plane , don't know when I'll be back again

don't know why it had popped into my head just as I was closing my computer down.

Luckily the traffic soon began to move again and off we shot miles more of M25 looking less like the carpark of earlier. Onto the M1 by which time I was absolutely desperate for a leak. Have you ever tried to drive cross legged isn't easy. Finally I arrived at my destination, not having got lost or taken a wrong turn this time and I hadn't even taken one of my map books..........all you men who think women can't read maps ..............I SO CAN!!!

I let myself into Vi's home having rung her to say I was almost there, she was putting her face on so I was greeted with a hug by the lovely BB (I am still getting used to the new name). I was presented with my first vodka of the evening as I had some catching up to do. stripping out of my clothes for a quick wash and swap my skirt for black jeans, I made my way down stairs in my leopard print heels (knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to walk to town and back in those). The girls loved the shoes. So after a bite to eat (delicious home cooking of course) we set out for the night.

No sooner had we left the house when we met a couple of Vi's neighbours also going out for the night. We all walked together or rather Vi and BB walked together and mr and mrs neighbour** walked with me as I struggled with my shoes (not the leopard print, my jeans kept getting caught in them. So being me and having to be different I ended up carrying my shoes and walking bare foot until we reached the first bar.

After several rounds of vodka and meeting some of her friends we moved onto the bar where the singing was fantastic, we danced the night away. I have not danced so much for more than 20 years. The local celebrity was also there and took a turn on the mike singing his signature tune and a couple of others.

I think we finally staggered back at about 12.30am and surprisingly I managed to walk the whole way with my shoes on so maybe I need to be drunk to wear these ones. So back at the house, more vodka, more chatting, a few revelations, discussions about how many men we have each slept with. A drunken joint post. As both BB and Vi read tarot we had some readings.

I expected this night out to involve drinking and chatting and possibly some flirting etc but what I didn't forsee was finding myself at 3am with something about 7" long and just the right diametre to fit comfortably in my hand as it vibrated from time to time and reacted when I squeezed or pressed the right places. who could have predicted that the three of us would be playing ten pin bowling on the wii just as the sky was turning to daylight and the birds were singing loudly. Both BB and I go the hang of this game fairly quickly which is more than can be said for mario cart where we would both spend ages bouncing from wall to post to wall and even falling into the sea at reglar intervals.

By about 5am I was just about managing to do a circuit on the actual track, but by about this time BB crashed out on the sofa beside me so Vi and I took this as our cue to crawl up the stairs to our beds at 5.30 considering I had been up since 5.40 on friday morning I am surprised I am awake now.

we all finally emerged late morning for more chat and a cooked brunch before setting off in different directions at about 2pm. Believe it or not I was not hung over and hadn't felt the slightest bit ill.

thank you Vi for inviting me again. It was lovely to get the chance to see both of you again.

** The male neighbour (my age) grew up in a village close to the Kent town where I grew up, we compared notes on the various pubs we knew as well as the discos that we had both been to (who knows he might even have been there the night I met my first love). He went to the all boys school while I was at the only mixed school in the town at that time. how weird would that have been if we had known each other as teenagers ......hmmmm there was something vaguely familiar about him but I don't think I did know him.

you can read Bollinger Byrd's version of the night here.

Friday, 30 May 2008

Is it safe?

why is it that every time I put something somewhere safe where it won't get lost, I can't find it when I need it grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

my car tax runs out on saturday so I need to get my new tax disc on sat before I head back home. Insurance easy I knew where that was as it was only renewed this month. MOT not quite so easy.......found the ones for the last few years in the papers for the car, but the MOT was done in feb, but although it wasn't where it should be it was in the same drawer. tax form arrived a few weeks ago. I remember putting it away before it could get lost. I have looked everywhere, turned out each drawer it could be in. gone through each stack of post. Why does no one else in this house put their post away, why after 2 years do we still get more post for SF than the rest of us.......I gave up returning it with 'no longer lives at this address' long ago it was becoming a joke. I thought I would check out the on line tax renewal but it requires the reference number from the form.

hey presto, a ping on my laptop tells me I have an email, leaning across my bed to read it, the thought hits me like a sledge hammer, yes there it was all the time!!!!! Now I remember it was in the top of my bedside cabinet with my book, soduko puzzles and the jiffy bag containing the joke gift I bought for Romeo. Big sigh of relief.

Thursday, 29 May 2008

just a moment

Just as I was having a maltesers moment

I got a phone call on my direct line.......(funny after all these months, I have only ever given my direct number out twice ). There was then a brief conversation about spaghetti which was followed by talk of these.

As I am sure you know we had even more rain this afternoon, which is such a pity considering this morning I needed to wear these.

This is only a quick post tonight as I have things to do in preparation for my night away from home.

Do you remember a few months ago it was proposed that bloggers should compile a book of short stories from our lives. The book is to be sold with all profits going to the charity WAR CHILD.

I can now tell you that the book is very close to being available to buy, so please all buy a copy or more. I did write a piece to go in the book but as yet I don't know whether it did make it into the book, however I shall find out very soon. In the meantime here is a preview of the book's cover, so just keep yiur eyes peeled and look out for it in the shops very soon.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008


As she watches the fat drip from the meat she is preparing for their dinner, she wonders

how did it get to be like this again?

He had just told her that he needed her to take him to football for a 9.30pm kick off. As she added the sieved tomatoes and chopped onions, her mind was ticking over. How would she be able to manage this one then. A dash of salt, a shake of black pepper a large pinch of mixed herbs, she has always enjoyed puzzles and logic problems but this could take a bit of working out.

'Couldn't you fetch 'The child' early?'

'Not possible they wil still be on the mini bus until about 9.20'.

A slug of brown sauce and a large pinch of her secret ingredient (they have never noticed). If she plans it right and they leave on time she could just do it but it would be tight. She had planned to take her time cooking after another long day at work. No rush to get dinner served tonight, she could have it ready for when she got home after collecting 'the other worker' and 'the child'. But not now, now everything she had planned was going to change. Now she needed to have dinner ready by 8.oo so that 'the man child' could eat in plenty of time to allow him to be comfortable during his time in goal. Now she would have to leave home earlier.

As she stirs the meat laden sauce she begins to plan her escape. Warnings have been issued, in 48 hours time her free taxi service is being withdrawn temporarily. She has made plans that don't include them. Adding spaghetti to boiling water she contemplates the Friday afternoon traffic as she heads towards London then on further north to a destination that promises friends, music and booze. A welcome boost to her empty social calendar. It may only be a short break but a short break from normal routine has to be refreshing, either that or she will sleep like the dead and miss all the fun again!!

Tuesday, 27 May 2008


LiR its like pillow talk when you answer the phone

Its your fault

So does that mean you are turning me down?

It took me a lot of courage to ask you

Not fallen off the ladder I trust?

You need one of my famous temple massages

Well I understand your situation so I'll leave the ball in your socket

I've done the 'trophy wife' bit, now I want a real woman

Monday, 26 May 2008

Not so fast food

Finally the rain began to ease off at around midday, so I set off to one of the local DIY stores to buy some tools. I managed to find a decent set of Allen keys, No need for SF to set foot in my home now as we have the tools to put JA's bike together ourselves, besides there has been no sight or sound of him today. I also got a wrench as our toilet seat has mysteriously gained a split. We need to get the old one off before we can put the new one on. Nipping into asda to get food for a week of lunches when the boys are home.

By now it was 1pm and I was starving so I called home and asked if the boys wanted a Macdonalds, the three who were at home (must be the first time in months that DC hasn't left the house all day) took advantage of this unexpected and rare treat. As the drive thru is very close to Asda I didn't think it would be long before I would be eating my burger. Why I wanted this I don't really know as I did know that I would not enjoy it as much as I wanted to.

As I arrive at the turning for Maccy D's I am confronted with a queue of cars meaning that it tok a good 5 minutes to get onto the end of the line. Finally I am across the road and heading for the entrance, there are cars snaking around the edge of the carpark pased the windows where you place the order pay and collect your food. There is a queue of cars from the end of the road back out towards the main road causing a back up of traffic, there is another queue of cars coming from the direction of Asda, more chaos. But the queue for food is moving fairly steadily. After about 10 minutes I reach the lady taking the orders on an an electronic order pad. Another five minutes and I am by the window to pay. Two more minutes and I am collecting my food. I am passed the tray with 5 drinks then a large bag of food followed by the happy meal. So getting this fast food wasn't as fast as I had expected.....I had even considered driving down the motorway to get my food as that might be quicker!!

Anyway eventually I have escaped from the crowds of Macy D's or so I thought. when got home I was unloading my shopping when OJ asked where his and ET's burgers were. It seems that they were missing. so Off I go back across town park up and jin the long queue of diners until I get to a place where I can make my way passed the queue and go over to the corner where the drive through orders are despatched. I told them I didn't have two of my meals I had paid for. I soon had in my possession a bag of the missing food. By the time I got home it was now 2pm so my fast food had taken me an hour to get.

when is fast food not fast ...................on a bloody wet bank holiday monday lunchtime thats when grrrrrrr

oh and Mei I have answered your post over on Battle.....His Wife

Sunday, 25 May 2008

Its all good

Well I didn't get to stay in bed for long this morning as I was summoned in the guise of taxi for ET who was ready to return home from the party held by his namesake over in New Town. When we got home both OJ and DC were now up. DC wanted to borrow my car to drive to Brighton with his band for practice. They practice every Sunday but I am not sure why they now practice in Brighton except that the Drummer lives there when he is not at his mother's place in New Town. I knew I stll had to collect JA and get some food for this evening so I dashed out to asda while DC had his shower, but when I got to Daz's house I rang the bell and knocked the door repeatedly but got no answer so finally I rang home to ask if Joe had written Daz's number down as I had asked him to do. He had, OJ gave me the number so I was able to phone them. JA asked if Sam could come back with us to help him. SF had said he would come round to help JA put his new bike together. We don't have the right size of allen keys apparently.

Surprise surprise SF rang just as he was supposed to be here saying he will do it tomorrow ......yeah right!!! Tomorrow there will be another excuse. Why does he do that?

Having set my laptop p to play some of my music I got myself organised and spent the next few hours painting the my fitted cupboard. I guess it was originally painted pure white but that was before we moved in 11 years ago it was now an off white that is until I painted it this colour. It is whimsical which I guess matches my mood.

I have painted the cupboard doors all six of them and done two coats on the door of the room which was varnished wood. Tomorrow I have the skirting boards and window sill to do before I start on the walls which will be Vanilla Cream.

I have moved the desk top computer that was in my room into the room shared by OJ, ET and JA. JA is very pleased t be able to use the net in their room. I feel quite liberated now that my new laptop is wireless. so far today I have used it in my room, livingroom and had it playing to me whilst I was in the kitchen peeling spuds.

I have been feeling quite decadent this evening. Sitting on my bed watching this dvd on my laptop, eating passionfruit and peach frozen yoghurt with a bottle of red grape spritzer. Now I am blogging again with my music playing as I sit on my new bed feeling that life is being good to me at the moment. Perhaps 2008 is going to be my year. I feel quite content. I have my boys around me, I have been able to make a lot f improvements in our lives and sort out my most pressing debts and of course I am lucky enough to have a job I enjoy plus the promise of romance with a man who has come to mean a lot to me. apart from wishing that he was here with me what more could I want?

I could get used to this

lying in my bed on a sunday morning blogging!

yay I got my laptop to connect to the wireless system

aren't I a clever girl

Saturday, 24 May 2008


Why is it that what should be a nice simple saturday turns into one of the more complicated ones.

All Week JA has been asking if I can take him to the village on Saturday morning. His friend is having a few mates round for his birthday. They are going to this place but have to pay for themselves. So he told me that he wanted me to take him to the village where Daz lives. But could I take 3 of them to the playzone. He kept phoning Daz to find out what was happening. He wanted me to take him to Daz's for 9.30am they were going to playzone at 10am I assumed he meant to be there for 10am. My plan was to drop them off then dash back to our town to collect my computer that I had taken in for repair last week. I also wanted to get some more paint for my bedroom. As we are leaving home JA says he had forgotten to get a card for Daz so we went to the local garage, anyway I needed to get some money for him. So by the time we ahve done this it is about 9.35 when we get to Daz's house I say I will turn my car around (its a cul-de-sac). He says come back for us at 10

hang on a minute you mean you had me drop you off at 9.30 expect me to go away then return in half an hour?


no way I am not spending my whole day driving to and from here.

It is then agreed that I will come back between 10 and 10.30am. So off I go to collect and pay for my computer. when I get there I am asked to come back in 1 1/2hrs

'It should be ready if you come back around 12 noon.'
Off I then go to get some satin paint for the woodwork in my bedroom. Again I got my paint at staff discount price 'for looking after us'.
Drop the paint off at home grab my sunglasses as the sun has now come out.

Back to the village collect 3 lads to take them to playzone. The smallest one is sat in the back watching my speedometre trying to get me to go faster go faster. 'My mum drives at 100'
WE hit the motorway doing 65 but are soon upto 90 but not for long as I ease off the pressure as we head into the roadworks which are so much quieter at 10.30 on a Saturday morning than they are at 7.15am on a weekday.

We arrive at playzone, I pay for JA and give Daz's dad my mobile number so he can let me know when to come back for them. We chat about computers and sons for a while. Then I get the phone call from 'Home'.

Mum do you know where my car keys are?

If they are not hanging up on the key hooks then how am I supposed to know?

He had gone out last night I didn't know where he went but he wasn't home when I went to bed at 1.45am

He has checked everywhere.....apparently he had gone out to his car in the evening but hadn't locked it. his car is unlocked and his keys are missing!!

What have I done to deserve a son like this. (yesterday he had schemed with OJ and bought a PS3 for around £400) it isn't as though he can afford to do this. He has looked everywhere I suggest. He has asked the friend who took him to The Other City last night where they went to a club. I suggested he phone the club but it was too early and he only got the answer service.

He makes a few phone calls and has now got a Suzuki locksmith coming out on Tuesday at a cost of £160.00. Tonight his band are playing in Basingstoke. I ahve been expecting him to ask if he could borrow my car again!! Whilst all this was going on I made a phone call to get our broadband service switched from Orange to Talk Talk. They have been trying to persuade me to do this ever since I changed our phone to Talk Talk which is free but no, in my infinite wisdom I preferred to pay £17pm to stay with Orange. I didn't want to have both with the same company.

But it isn't the money I will save that has convinced me it is that we cannot connect any of our laptops to the internet using the wireless connections yet DC says he can connect his at other people's homes where they have other networks like Talk Talk. We will see.

So I have now gone back to the computer repair shop paid my money and have a fully cleaned up computer with newly installed internal wireless card. Next its back on the motorway and off to Playzone again. gathering up the 5 boys and 1 girl we head back west again. This time I am being urged to 'catch them .....over take ......yay we are past them' much excitement as the two cars vie for the lead on the way home. Finally the other car is ahead of mine as we reach the (mile long) slip road, there is lots of arm waving from windows which resulted in the other driver losing his book out of the window. When we reach our destination the lads run in to join their friends for a bbq whilst I go home at last for aquiet afternoon and evening. By quiet I mean quiet. JA is sleeping over at Daz's, ET is going to a friend's party and wont be home until the morning, DC has a gig in Basinstoke (if they ever get there). OJ is the only one home tonight but even he has an indoor soccer match. So I shall have an hour on my own on a saturday night (novelty or what).

Back home and ET asks if I can take him to New Town for the party later. DC finally gets hold of his drummer and asks if he can borrow my car so he can lend Drummer some money for petrol so he can then take them all to Basingstoke in his car. Well thats a relief at least he hasn't asked to use my car for the night. So he drives off to New Town but is back about an hour later in time fro me to drive to New Town with ET.

As we are eating our dinner OJ asks me what time we are leaving

'what do you mean? don't you have a lift?

So 8.15pm just as I am in the middle of writing this I take him here for his match which then becomes 2 matches as his team are asked to play a friendly against a team who didn't have any opponents. It is interesting that this venue is next door to the place where I was this morningt o buy my paint. I was a little surprised when the lads had finished their match before the second one the manager came over to say hello to me. He asked where my lad was as he had seen me sitting by the pitch but he couldn't see him. I pointed out that my lad had been in goal, he didn't recognise OJ because he had assumed it was the talented footballer that is DC who was playing. DC started going there for fun weeks of football triaining and competitions from the age of 9. He had shone as an outstanding player but they decided after he had won Junior Player of the week a few times that they just couldn't keep giving him he award every time but they still felt he was the best player.

So today has been a day of doing things twice.

Going to Playzone twice

Going to computer repair shop twice

Going to paint/soccer centres twice

my car has been to New Town twice

Friday, 23 May 2008

internet dating and flirting

I ahve been giving some thought to both internet dating and flirting. I guess to a degree it is because Vi has just begun her adventures with dating on the internet that has got me thinking but it isn't only that. I am registered with several dating sites but when I found Romeo I left a note on each profile saying that I am not currently looking as I ahve found someone who makes my heart sing. I have done this for a couple of reasons.

Partly because I don't want to delete my profiles and then find at some point in the future that I have to set up new ones. But whilst not deleting my profiles I didn't want any potential men wasting their time sending me messages that I wouldn't be replying to. But also I know that N is still on some of the sites and every now and then I get notified that he has been looking at my profiles. I figured that if he thinks I am happy with someone he will leave me alone. I have no intention of ever getting involved with him again so there is no point in us being in contact again. I know that if he thought I was receptive(even though he wouldn't know the word) he would be sending me text and IM messages.

Recently I have hesitated before deleting the emails that tell me I have new matches. I don't open them but I don't delete them straight away. The reason is that a very small part of me is saying it wouldn't do any harm to have a look. You never know who is out there. But as quickly as the thought crosses my mind it is gone again. I know if I go onto the site where I found Romeo the first thing I would do is go to my favourites which tells you the last time your favourites logged onto the site. In the beginning I was constantly looking to see when Romeo was last online. That did help when he went quiet that first time because I could see that he hadn't been on the dating site either so I knew he wasn't just avoiding me. Then I found that my trust in him had grown and I didn't need to keep checking. The last time I did look he hadn't been on there since before my birthday (around the time he was asking me how to delete his profile).

I have not mentioned Romeo much recently because there is not much to say. It is difficult to put my feelings into words. I don't really know what to think or feel at the moment. I don't know whether to be hurt, angry, confused or just simply trusting. I know he has been very ill, I know he has been feeling very low. I know he is often in places that make it difficult to get in contact. I send him emails and text messages but I have no idea how many of them he recieves or when.

Our last conversation was lovely surprise telephone call. He promised to call me again in a few days. He did but I missed it and he left me a voice message (which I have listened to over and over again) hearing his cheerful voice sounding a little unsure what to say when he finds I am not there has helped me over the weeks. after that voice mail I heard nothing from him for almost a week, then I got a text out of the blue telling me thast he was very ill. Another week and another text it was the first day his head had begun to clear, he missed me. Another week and another text he was finally beginning to feel better, he missed me and had been thinking about me. Next day another text should we see if we could meet one evening next week. Now a week later I have heard nothing more.

I don't know what to think. I trust him, I know he hasn't ditched me. I know I will hear from him. I don't need him, to make me happy. I am happy in my life it is all beginning to come together. But that does not stop me wanting him. Wanting the special bond we have built up over the weeks and months. Wanting to see him to touch him to kiss him to make love with him. If I didn't feel this bond with him I would have given up long ago. Some times I feel so disheartened. I don't feel anxious or stressed any more. I know what we have is good, I know he feels it too. I know I just have to be patient. But there are times when I feel as though my patience is wearing thin. I don't know how long I can keep going like this before something breaks. Mr Green says

'I really am impressed at your will power and loyalty to Romeo'.

I don't know if the likes of Lotto, Mr Passinate and Thomas make it easier or harder. They all let me know that they want me. In some ways this is very bad but in others very good. It is good because they make me feel sexy and wanted but bad because they tempt me but I don't want to do anything to spoil what I ahve with Romeo. I know that he trusts me without question, I don't want to break his trust. After all how could I expect to be able to trust him if I do something to break his trust in me.

I enjoy flirting with Lotto and Thomas on IM. I enjoy flirting by text or email with Mr Passionate. But I know it is nothing more than flirting. They are all lovely and sexy men, I enjoy their company. Although we have flirted I ahve not seen any of them for a long time, the last being Mr Passionate on that special friday last summer. Lotto I only met the once in March last year. Whereas Thomas I met several times and planned more encounters, but first his work came between us then mine. Who knows if we might have ever managed to make love, I have told him that it won't happen now but that I envy the woman who does eventually get him there. I feel a little sad that after everything between us we never did make it to bed but at least we do both have the memories of the times we did have and the gift I gave him one sunday afternoon so long ago now.

On the subject of flirting, whilst my marriage was falling apart SF constantly accused me of having affairs and flirting with the men at the football club. I remember thinking about this and coming to the realisation that upto that point and beyond I had never flirted. I don't think I ever conciously flirted even as a teenager. I was never interested in the boys at my school and too shy to mix with any that I didn't know. I was the proverbial wall flower (not quite content) to watch my friends having a good time while I melted into the background. Because I was so shy it puzzled me when at a local disco one lad asked me to dance, he later told me I was 'a cock teaser'. I had not as far as I was aware done or said anything to provoke this response. I wonder if he was in fact just trying the phrase out. I think I was 16 at this time.

I have always had a lot of friends, some close others not so close, but I was always the quiet one in the corner that people didn't notice or at least I never thought they noticed me. You know sometimes I really wanted to be noticed but it was always the bubbly girl who got noticed even though I felt I was prettier, slimmer (in my youth). I always felt I ahd so much more to offer than my friends but I was never noticed , why would anyone notice me when there was this bubbly out going girl or woman who was so much more fun. I was always the serious one. I remember saying to my friend at the football club a few years ago that I felt people just put up with me but she told me I was wrong. She said that everyone thinks I am lovely. I was not convinced but it was nice to be told that.

Over the past two years my confidence has grown enormously. I am still shy when I am in groups, perhaps this is a legacy of being slightly deaf I can't quite follow whats going on when I am in a group. I am much better when there are only two or three of us together. Over the past two years I have grown confident enough to flirt with men online, I can flirt on the phone too (the other person can't see me so that s good). But now my confidence is such that I can also flirt in person but only when I am in the right mood in the right situation with the right person.

I realise also that one reason why I never flirted before was that I was always afraid the other person would take my flirting too literally and think there was more to it when really there wasn't. So I took the safe option of never flirting. How much time did I waste? Now I love flirting and I think I am becoming quite good at it. But of course it always helps when the person I am flirting with is sexy too.

So now I have discovered that I can flirt and enjoy it too and now I ahve a job that allows me to flirt all day. But I can also have an intimate conversation without flirting. There is one man who I talk to regularly, I ahve met him a few times so I know that he is not my type in any way shape or form yet I still find myself having very intimate conversations with him. Mind you I did tell him today that I was not going to fulfil his fantasies over the phone when I work in an open plan office as he very well knows.

So tell me have always flirted or like me are you a late starter?

Is flirting just harmless fun that helps the world go around or is it a dangerous game to play?

have you had any particulary good or bad experiences of flirting?

Thursday, 22 May 2008

change of name maybe

I am thinking of changing my name to

Giggling lady


Blushing lady

As you know a large part of my work involves talking on the phone. Here is a small sample of a few of today's calls.

Hi this is Andy from *****

crumbs does Raj know you are phoning, he didn't believe you had placed an order before

lol, well he does now, do you treat Raj the same way you do me?

yes ........giggle giggle

can I ask you to check something for me

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh maaaaybeeeeeeee ........giggle

how long can you keep that up

how long do you want me to?

ummmmm I think I will ring back when theres no one around

then there was this call

good morning LiR I am hoping you will say yes

ummm I never say yes........giggle

well mabye sometimes

have I made you blush?


do you have such a thing as ***********?

yes sure we do.......giggle

can you check the price to us

ok but what company is it?

what was that?

are you going to tell me what company you are?


ok its Clark H E R

ah is that Bill?

how did you know is it cos I'm the craziest man ever?

lol well I knew it wasn't LV, I have not heard from him all week

no hes got a bad back hes been off work all week Mandy will start panicking soon

hope you get better soon LV

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Really Tired

Not going to post much tonight as I am really tired.

It has been hectic at work the last few days, the phones have been playing up. Monday they were completely out for about 3 hours which led to Posh Bird getting all calls diverted to the sales office mobile. I then had this mobile glued to my ear for an hour as I tried to answer as many calls as I could many. At the end of each call there was a list of missed calls. Many of the calls were fax machines as customers attempted to send through their orders. Mind you it did mean that I got to chat to some customers who normally fax their orders.

Then when the telephone lines came back on it was a game of catch up for the rest of the afternoon. There has only been two of us most of the time, with me being the only one doing the job all the time. Yesterday and today the phones have cut out intermittently but only for a few minutes at a time.

Tomorrow I am going to be completely on my own. I think it will be a long day.

So now I am going to my room to watch The Apprentice and get an early night.

Tuesday, 20 May 2008


This is something I have been thinking about posting for a little while, more seriously since Vi took up internet dating. Then last night reading her post about Joey I decided that the time has come this is something I have to write about.

Ok first of all confession time, those who have been reading my blog for ages will know this but there seem to be quite a few newish readers to my blog this year. After I divorced SF (shit face if you were wondering...hey he worked in shit and talked it too), I met N, he was a player who messed me about something cronic, sharing his time between me and 'the bitch'. I will go into that story another time. It took me 7 months to come to my senses and ditch N (well technically he ditched me but I hit him and nearly ........another time ok). Anyway this one time he went too far, I couldn't forgive him. Now during our on off relationship I had sent him many sexy photos, some suggestive others more ...well lets just say more to his liking. when we split up I made him get rid of them all. But I still had copies. Money was becoming a real issue for me at this time. I had not worked since March, even by that time my part time wages had not been enough to support me and my 4 boys, although SF was still living in the house he paid nothing towards the rent let alone any bills (main reason I am still struggling to get out of debt). I was desperate to find a way to earn some extra money.

Against my better judgement, remember I was desperate at this time, I tried to find any of the mens magazines or soft porn sites online that might pay for any of my pictures. I didn't go down that route but I did find an advert for a site called 'adult friend finder'. After many years of having very little and even then bad sex, meeting N had made me remember that I am a sexual woman. I enjoy sex and quite honestly wanted more. With trepidation I created a profile never thinking for one moment that anyone would be interested in me, especially considering all the nubile young women on offer. But I was wrong, I was inundated with offers. I had a few dates and even had sex with some of them. Then there was Pip. Pip comes from deepest Thomas Hardy country, he had grown up in the village my grandparents had retired to 35 years ago. I remember a fair few holidays down there so Pip and I had these memories to compare. We talked a few times then he showed me his picture. I was not impressed but not wanting to be shallow I thought I would continue chatting. Then he told me he had a week off work and wanted to meet me for lunch near The Other city which is where he works. So on the appointed day I drove over to The Other city and met him at a pub restaurant on the outskirts of the city.

The day before we met he had text me that he really liked me and if it wasn't being too pushy he might like to kiss me!!!

Too pushy my foot!! Well it was very sweet of him but really that was not what this was all about. Anyway back to lunch, we met he bought me a very nice lunch but as we sat eating I found him soooooooooboring I was just looking around I couldn't keep my attention on him however much I tried, I certainly couldn't maintain eye contact......there was just no chemistry at all. After lunch we moved to the comfortable sofa's with our drinks. He kissed me, if I remember right I moved so that he kissed my cheek. I just did not dig this guy at all, but I was feeling so bad that not only had he bought me lunch but had driven an hour to get there. then he got the idea that we should leave the pub, as we went out to the carpark he led me over to show me his new car ...don't ask me what it was I don't remember. We sat in the front talking, I phoned my friend to find out what time she needed me to pick up ET to get him to cricket (I didn't need to do that but it gave me a reason to escape in half an hour).

Pip persuaded me to get into the back with him where he tried to kiss me some more. there was one time when he said to me........

'Youknow you can put your arm around me if you like......... I think I have taught you something new today........I have given you a french kiss'

yuk yuk yuk....he might have tried to give me a french kiss but I was not co-operating. He actually thought I was very innocent. but in all this the funniest thing was when one of the waiters walked up through the car park, he could obviously see Pip pawing me. I was sat bolt upright staring forward. Pip had his back to the carpark so didn't see the look on the waiter's face. A few minutes later another waiter went passed this time laughing and doing the thumbs up to me.......I so wanted to do a thumbs down back. I know I shouldn't have let things get to this situation, I was just too soft pun intended there but I will let it stay.

Eventually I made my escape unharmed in anyway but my dignity. but by the time I got home from my friend's house Pip had already text me that he liked me very much. Later as I was chatting online to my friend connor I got an IM from Pip, I tried to put him off, but he was adamant that he thought I was lovely and he wanted to see me again preferably tomorrow. I logged off and continued chatting to connor on a different msn profile. Pip was texting me that he liked me so much. I tried to let him down by texting him that I was worried about his feelings for me, that I wasn't ready for this. That is when the first email arrived.

sorry LiR i,v balls this up havent i , tell you the truth i,v been bit depressed last few days think it had somthing to do with my ex getting married i was upset that she,s got a happy famile life again .i like to think it wasnt that but cant think of any other reason so yes i was an idiot pushed you to hard im sorry can i have another chanch please we can have an healthy sex relationship, if you like that isi,ll understand if you dont want to see me again fuck it im such a idiot sorry x pip

wtf!! this guy thinks he pushed me too hard by kissing me, that I am very innocent and hes suggesting we have a sex relationship!!

I waited about 24 hours before I replied to him, I tried to make it out that it was all me not him, I didn't want to hurt him, I was still feeling bad that he had bought me lunch. Hey I have got better at this now....that was two years ago. I was feeling confident that this would be the end of it and he would be history. But I was wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for what followed.

thanks LiR i now know how you feel now . i shall tell you the truth now i am into swinging i do go out and meet other women and do have a girl friend thats who i go on holiday with. she see,s other men aswell, that the life im living at the moment so you see you had no worrys we could of had good sex together booked into traval lodges, i was right about feeling depressd you did catch me in a bad way that day, not knowing what i wanted from you sorry i lead you on i feel such a rat as i usally do when meeting someone new, as im in love with alli only prob is she doesnt feel the sameway so thats the mess my lifes in, we seam to be quite a pair dont we so i know you wont ever want to see me again now youv read this, so take care hun have fun hope you find what your looking for, lovely to have meet you, your very nice xxx pip

Now there is no way in this world that I am going to believe this.

I don't remember if I ever replied to this but I do remember that he continued to contact me. One day he was trying to chat while I was chatting to Connor, I told him what had been going on and connor just as a joke said he was surprised that I hadn't put pip in contact with 'the bitch' (pip had asked if I knew any women who might be into swinging). then the devil got into me and I said I might know someone, who actually lives a little nearer to him than I do. shes 100 miles from me. I showed him the picture I had on my computer (connor thinks it ugly) but pip was quite taken so I told him the town where she lives. For days he pestered me for her email and phone number. Eventually I owned up and told him that she was no friend of mine, I made him promise that if I gave him her email addy he wouldn't let on it was me that gave it to him. I couldn't believe he actually wanted to meet her, even when I told him she had been my love rival.

weeks went by and as it happened N had got back in touch and thats another story altogether, but as it happened I ended up staying over night at his place. the next day I got a text from pip....telling me that.....

'that 'the bitch' is a right cow and i'm having nothing to do with her'

so he had made contact then........I couldn't help laugh

I never heard from him again thank heavens.

most people think I am lovely but I do have an evil streak in me lmao

maybe one day I will tell you about my plot to have revenge on N (but I have grown up now...well perhaps just a tiny bit).

Monday, 19 May 2008

Bad mother

I must be a bad mother

My youngest is always getting into scrapes and hurting himself. Hes lucky he has never done himself much damage. If he hurts his arm I tell him to waggle his fingers...they work hes ok. If its his leg waggle your toes. If its a cut clean it up and put a plaster on it. I can't be doing with hospital visits unless I have to. I think in the last 20 years I have taken one or other of my boys to the hospital perhaps 5 times. First DC when he was around 4 he was running along the footpath beside Tesco over by The Other City, we had been to the weekly bootsale across the road, its one of the biggest in the area and very popular. As he was running he ran into a chain that was strung across the path stopping people from taking a short cut into the store carpark. the chain was across his chest he fell backwards and hit his head. Later when SF was at the pub DA was going a bit funny going in and out of consciousness, I managed to persuade SF to come home to look after baby whilst I took DC to hospital for check up. By the time he was seen he was ok.

Next it was OJ. Between them OJ and DC had worked out that everytime there was an accident whilst I was potty training OJ I would clean up the spill with a trigger bottle of detergent. I was upstairs with baby ET when DC and OJ decided to use the cleaner. DC managed to spray it in OJ's eyes. I bathed his eyes and rang the eye hospital who told me to bring him in. They said I had done such a good job of bathing his eyes he was fine.

Ah I missed one. We were at a social club as guests of friends when OJ fell asleep on the floor he must have been about 18 months, SF took hold of his wrist and yanked him up by the arm dislocating his arm. Ok so now we had the dilema do we take him to the hospital in the nearby Other City or drive passed where we live to get to the hospital in The City which would be nearer to our home but further away from where we were. The staff were great and his arm was soon popped back into position.

The worst occasion was again OJ. I was on the sofa by the window having a turn on the boys pokemon gameboy gold, OJ wanted a turn and sat on the back of the sofa for some reason he leaned back against the open minute he was there by my shoulder the next he was gone!! THen a scream and we all looked out the window in time to see OJ running in through the front door and up the stairs he was about 9 by this time. When I got to him he was holding a towel under his arm. When I took it away I could see that he had ripped open his arm pit. He had caught it on the handle of the window. I managed to get SF home from the pub to stay with the other boys whilst I took OJ to hospital. He was made a priority case. It took an awful lot of injections to numb the area so that he could be stitched back up. I think he was most relieved that the football season had ended the week before as he was the team goalkeeper.

The last time I went to the hospital with one of my boys was when JA thought he had broken his arm, this time I took him to Haslar the military hospital. He had badly bruised his arm but a few days rest it was fine again.

Anyway the reason I began this post was JA has been in a lot of scrapes in the last couple of months constantly covered in bruises and cuts. Last week when I collected him from the village where all his new mates live he slid down the grass bank by his mate B's house. As he slid down the bank he hurt his shin on a twig. When we got home he cleaned it up and put a plaster on it didn't even bother to show me. Yesterday he told me that he had pus coming from his cut. I told him to show me but as it was covered up with a plaster and trousers he said he would show me later. I forgot all about it until last night when I saw him taking the plaster off. I had a look at his leg. there was a black lump under where the plaster had been. Gently I ran my nail across this to see if I could lift the cut to remove the dirt that was still there. I pressed on either side and to my surprise something long and thin shot out. Closer inspection I found that it wasn't dirt but 5 very big splinters. I managed to get them all out and cleaned him up. the first one has left a puncture hole but the rest is ok. His leg seems to be fine now just weeping a little pin tinged fluid when he presses his shin close to the wound.

I am so pleased he is ok but I feel really bad for not taking more notice earlier.

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Text messages

I just love those text messages that begin with:

Hi sexy LiR


Hi darling LiR

and then end with

Missing you xxxxx


Thinking about you xxxxx

feeling pleased with myself

I knew I was right to do it

I got the whole of my old bed into the boot of my little 3 door hatchback. If I hadn't smashed it to bits with my little mallet I would never have got half of it in there. But as it was I managed one trip with the bits of bed plus all the wrapping and half the box together with all the rubble sacks of hedge trimmings that DC has been promising to take to the tip for the past 2 weeks!! That boy never keeps any of his promises. second trip was second half of the box, the matress and an old bike frame.

During all this I managed to lacerate my little finger in a thorn from the pyracanthas prunings that I ahd forgotten about and break the last of my nails. Why is it that for months my nails have been growing nicely then just when I am finally about to meet Romeo all my nails have broken. It is now looking like I shall have to resort to the false ones again for the second time ever. Although I am not painting them scarlet this time I think a more sedate gold will be more appropriate after all that is the colour I have painted my toe nails this time. I have made my decision about what to wear and I don't even know where we are going!

The second trip to the tip was meant to be on the way to dropping Et off at the station where he was meeting a group of friends to go to the beach!!!

But he decided that he didn't really want to go to to the city which today saw its biggest crowds ever for the celebration tour of the football team after yesterday's win at Wembly. So we visited my mum for half an hour. ET said that he didn't feel like going with his mates but he didn't want to stay at home all day. So he suggested going to get his suit for the school Prom next month. He wasn't keen on getting a suit from Asda but as I am on a get as much as I can for my money drive at the moment he agreed to see what there was at the hypermarket near where I work.

We took the scenic route over the hill as I use the motorway every weekday and we were in no hurry. I love the views from up there but as we were on a mission and I didn't have my camera with me we didn't stop. I probably would have done if I had my camera with me. So the next half hour or so was taken up by looking at trousers, jackets and shirts. ET is about 5'9" but very slim (skinny really) rather like I was as a teenager. Don't laugh its true I was a skinny teen it was in my twenties when I started my family that it all went to pot. So it was a case of finding the smallest size in everything. He has chosen a plain black jacket and trousers along with a plain black shirt, but he wants an orange tie. Now only an idiot would expect Asda to have a bright orange tie in store so I am currently bidding on ebay for one. With 29 mins left to go I am highest bidder @ £7.50. So we came away from Asda with Jacket, trousers and shirt all for £32.00.

I also got some school trousers for JA who seems to be aiming to make me do sewing every single day as he constantly bursts the seems of his current pair. Now at 12 yrs JA is a little under 5', I know this without measuring him because he is slightly shorter than my grand height of 5' and a bit (don't forget that 'bit' it is very important). But he is a little on the porky side. So it was no good getting him a pair for age 12. I found a pair of age 13 to 14 but they were blue, they have to have dark grey. so I came home with age 14 to 15 these fit perfectly around the waist but are too long so I still have some sewing to do turning them up. I am also bidding for something on ebay for JA. A new bike he managed to break the suspension on his a couple of weeks ago. With 5 mins to go I am highest bidder at £10.00 for a brand new bike!!

I am feeling quite pleased with myself.......OK I just won the bike (someone else started bidding in the last minute so it was touch and go in the end but I won it for £29.02 and also got the tie (RRP £19.99) for £7.50. How pleased am I? I think I may be getting hooked on ebay.

I am somewhat unhappy with my neighbour this afternoon. It hasn't been a particularly warm or even sunny day. It has threatened rain a few times but late this afternoon I decided to risk putting my washing on the line. But wait what is that smell......hmmm could it be bbq oh damn nextdoor is playing happy families and having a bbq right against the fence that divides our gardens. Why couldn't they take their bbq to her boyfriend's house it isn't far away just nextdoor but one on the other side of me but far enough away to not affect my washing grrrrrrrrr.

Whilst I was cooking dinner this evening my doorbell rang. JA called me to the door. It was Posh Bird. My first instinct was that something must be wrong but then she held out a big bunch of flowers.

What are those for?

they are for you

but why

for feeding my cat for me so often

lol I really don't I need to find some space for them. thanks they are lovely.

She really didn't need to do that. We ahve always fed each other's cat when one or other of us is away, we have been doing this for 11 years. But I guess she felt that as she she wanted to as she has been going away every other weekend to spend time with her boyfriend since last summer. I did joke that she only got me to join the same company so she can ask me to feed her cat. Obviously I know that is not true.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

Are you sick of it yet?

The bed got made by me with some help from ET. Wow it is high I almost need a ladder to get onto it. The matress is about 3 times deeper than the old one. It is really comfortable and not a spring to be felt. My old matress had got to the stage where I could shove my foot inside the springs. I have taken pictures of the work in progress but as yet not uploaded them as I can't find the cable to connect my phone to the computer.

To my dismay I woke up this morning with a headache but not only that but backache too. This concerned me as the idea of getting this new bed was to wake up without backache. I bought an orthopaedic matress for heavens sake. But then it occurred to me that it wasn't sleeping in the bed that gave me backache. It was the hard work smashing up the old bed then building the new one that had caused the muscles to seize up giving me backache.

Today I took the computer that won't recognise the wireless adapter into our local computer repair shop. He tested the USB ports as we were not sure if that was the problem as it didn't recognise the adapter no matter which USB port we used. They work well, he tested the adapter that is fine he says the problem is that we have a virus in the computer. There is an error message because a file is missing, I had been ignoring it ....silly me!!. So he is going to clean up the computer on all profiles. How embarrasing will it be if it turns out it was me who got the virus. Anyway when we get it back the boys will have that computer in their room ao there will be no reason for them to go into my room unless it is to talk to me.

Whilst I was at the repair shop my mum rang me, I told her that I would ring her back. But as I was going to go to Asda which means going past the end of her road I called in to see her instead. It turns out that she was only going to tell me that she was going to watch the FA Cup after all. So I ended up staying and watching the match with her. while we were watching it I got a text from Posh bird saying....

your flag is inside out

strange text to get so I rang her back, it seems that JA had hung the flag his dad gave him yesterday from his bedroom window only it was back to front. Posh Bird must have seen it from her kitchen when she was topping up her wine glass.

I am not at home lol

LiR you should be here drinking wine with us lol

lol instead I'm at my mum's drinking tea

lol oh LiR I know what you are like with wine

I rang home and spoke to JA then I got another text from Posh Bird

thats better :-)

Its funny how some people change according to who they work with. Posh Bird has become a follower of fashion in that she is now a fan of the local team. Now I know from when I used to take her son with me that Posh Bird never had any interest in football (she hated it). Some people think Posh Bird and my boss are joined at the hip as they have become firm friends. My boss is a very keen supporter of the local team and our MD is a season ticket holder and managed to get 8 yes 8 tickets for the FA Cup final. I didn't see him in the crowd though.

I sent a text to Aunty telling her the latest development in the Romeo saga, I wasn't expecting a reply for hours as I knew she was working. But I got a reply within half an hour.

Go for it! X

if you want to know what has happened I posted it last night on Battle

Friday, 16 May 2008


It has arrived!!!

my lovely new bed was delivered at 9.30 am

Just prior to that there was a knock on the door from Parelforce......not sure without checking back whether I told you I had won another ebay auction this time not just one laptop but two!!! they are old ones but they will do for the boys to play their games on and chat to their mates on msn and myspace. I have not tried either of them out yet but they are both Hewlet Packards former company laptops that have been refurbished but how could I not go for it when I won both of them for just £74 and it means they don't need to use my laptop. They will have two desk top and two laptops between three of them. DC has his own laptop that he got from ebay last year.

On another note, I wonder what Romeo thought when he turned his phone on and found he had a missed call from me in the middle of the night. (I have never phoned him before) I woke up around 4am ......4am ffs to use bathroom. when i got back into bed I found my mobile open under my duvet. As I was closing it I noticed that I was connected to Romeo, I must have called his phone by accident........oh shit does that mean I was calling eastern europe for 4hrs?......phew I checked it was 4.08am for 4 seconds.

So obviously I must have fallen asleep whilst re reading the text he sent me yesterday. Then when I picked it up must have pressed call.

My poor Romeo has been ill for weeks he is feeling depressed, this illness has really knocked him for six.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Its all about who you know

As the saying goes it isn't what you know it's who you know. During the week I was thinking about my nice new bed arriving tomorrow. I shall have to clear my bedroom out ready for the arrival of my bed (between 8am and 1pm tomorrow). Yeah yeah I know you all know I have my new bed coming I have mentioned it enough times in the last 2 weeks. But it got me thinking about my room. When SF moved out the first thing I did after I took down the curtains and nets to be washed, the stink of tobacco was horrendous, was to pull up the manky old carpet. When I say old I mean old, the rubber backing had turned to orange dust!! But under the dust was a lot of orange stained newspaper. Yes I know it was the rubber that had stained it but that isn't what makes me think it was old. The papers were dated 1974!!! As couldn't and still can't afford a new carpet I have been living with bare floor boards in my room, which hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.

The first time I brought N back to the house to meet the boys (we had been seeing each other for 4 months by then) just after SF finally moved out of the house. I got him to help me strip the wall paper in my room. It only took us an hour. I wanted this room to be different now that it was mine after 7 months of SF living in there. N promised me that he would help me to do all the jobs that needed to be done around the house. In all the times he stayed here usually 3 or 4 days at a time, he never did anything else apart from the washing up now and again. He promised he would help with the garden, But even though I asked him to cut the grass he didn't all he cared about was being on my computer looking at ebay or chatting up women (on my computer!!).

Anyway I am getting side tracked here so back to the original thread. My walls have been bare for 2 years. I have finally decided that it is time to do something about it. While my bedroom has been cleared out and before I set up my new bed I am going to paint the walls. After all I sell decorating equipment I should get a feel for the products I sell and use it myself.
A few days ago I was speaking to one of the regular customers at work . (His company is one of the main paint suppliers) I was cheeky enough to ask if they sell directly to the public and if so do they sell small quanties, the answer to both was yes. This company has outlets across the country but this one is in my town right next door to the indoor soccer venue that I visited last night (which reminds me ......not all sweaty male bodies are even pleasant to be near let alone get close and personal with ;-) ). Today I have done a deal with this customer so I guess technically that now makes me his customer. tomorrow whilst I am home waiting for my NEW BED I will get another delivery (2.5l Diamond Matt paint in Vanilla Cream). I was prepared to collect but they are happy to deliver.

I told my boss that I intend to paint my room, next thing I know she is on the phone to the warehouse manager with instructions to send up a roller tray, roller cage, rad frame and power stripe sleeve and a variety of brushes. I told her where I was getting the paint from, she was impressed that I hadn't gone the route most people do of asking her to order it from her pet supplier down the road. she asked what paint I was getting and what price...'good deal' she assures me. I have just checked it out on the net.......I am paying 50% of retail price.

so as I was saying it isn't so much what you know as who you know..............
now I just need to find a gardener, a man with a van, a fence maker, window repairer ..oh yeah I had one of those...the last time I saw JJ was when he came round to measure my window......I'm guessing his girlfriend found out.

By the way did I mention .................I'm getting my new bed tomorrow

Real Life readers

This feels a little strange. It was confirmed to me today that I am being read by someone in my RL. In the past my blog has been read by some of my lovers/potential lovers, this has not bothered me in the slightest. The only one that bothered me was N. He found my blog Battle to find myself after I had finished seeing him. Of course he read my thoughts about not being happy with him, he felt that I had made a fool of him because everyone knew who he was. In fact only one person I talked to (Forest) knew about him and which town/city he lived in (not the same as mine). N even spoke to Forest online one day when he was staying here and I was chatting to Forest he decided to get in on the act and wind poor Forest up (at this time it was still several months before I met Forest). N was the reason I started my second blog Kindred Perverts and took on the persona of Sexy Vixen. N was also the reason I made both blogs private for a while when he was trying to black mail me. What ever did I see in that man?

I did find that it had an effect on my writing when I was seeing Forest knowing that he had been reading my blog since it began. Sometimes I found myself writing things especially for his benefit even though I was never sure whether he had read it or not as he reads on and off rather than regularly. Other times I censored what I wanted to write because I wasn't sure I could be completely honest whilst Forest might be reading it. Then I set up this blog with the idea of dedicating it to Forest for his birthday, it consisted purely of posts that were about him.

Until there came a time when I decided to have a change in direction this coincided with my decision to stop reading a couple of blogs by women who I had been friendly with until the day I accused one of being a bully to one of my other friends. Luka recognised this as being aimed at her and decided to go overboard in her defence of herself. I took this in my stride refusing to be drawn into any arguments but when she decided to rehash the whole thing again I decided it was time to cut the ties with her and one or two of her followers. Its was on this very blog that I had my public bust up with Forest which led to him leaving a few comments for the first time.

Now another RL person is reading my blogs. This person is not a current or former lover. This person is not someone I have ever met in person. We speak fairly regularly and we even exchange emails. I am a little embarrassed that this person has been reading some of the more intimate things I have written. I was somewhat alarmed this evening when I discovered that one of the first things this person read was this post about texting JJ. He has also read this little fantasy that I wrote after a text comment from Forest. If he was someone I didn't know it wouldn't worry me. The fact that we speak in RL doesn't over worry me, but he knows my Boss and some of my colleagues, now that could be interesting. I guess that I am just going to have to trust this person who I think has chosen his own name. (First person to ever do that). How did he tell me what he wants to be known as? I received an email this afternoon (from one LV to another). I took this to be his way of not only telling me that he has read my blog but also that he would prefer to be known as LV.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008


Today at around 11.30 my mobile rang, it was the driver telling me he would be arriving in 30 minutes to deliver my new bed. I explained that I was at work and he wasn't due to deliver my bed until Friday when I have a day off. Can you believe I have got a whole day off, I can hardly believe it as I have been tending to have half days as and when I need them.

Today I have had a man with a nice voice phoning me and saying 'its me'. Who says work can't be fun?

I enjoyed my drive home, windows wound right down, sunglasses on, wind in my hair, music blaring from my stereo player, catching that first glimpse of the sea as I drive south seeing the bright blue water then turning the corner now the water is more of a dull green as I begin to head west along the coast towards the city. The scent of sea water suddenly catching me off guard. The taller buildings of the city appear grey against the now cloudy sky whilst the trees in the foreground are deep shades of green. Onward the traffic rushes until suddenly with break lights everywhere we ground to an almost halt as we near the start of the road works. Leaving the city behind us. Those portaloos that dotted the road just weeks ago now gone as the work has moved from the centre to the outer edges of the road.

Travelling at the maximum speed allowed through here catching sight of the most gorgeous red Audi A4 such a lovely shade of red, Audi seem to have the best red cars. We reach the crest of the hill surging down the otherside trying hard not to go too fast as we still have to pass the 'average speed cameras' once passed these and the traffic takes on new life as everyone speeds up. 55, 60, 65, 70, 80, 85 need to start getting into the slower lane now but traffic is merging from the slip road, down the sweeping curve of the road pausing only to check for other traffic as we emerge onto the A road going north but here we all channel off to do our twice daily U turn to go back the otherway and snake our way up the hill. More like a slow worm than a snake at this time everyday as we crawl along in first gear only to stop on the steep side of the hill. This is where I test my courage. Do I take the easy way as most people do and yank on the hand break or do I hold my nerve and try my clutch control skills, praying that I will keep my nerve long enough to hold still until the traffic moves again. Today though is one of those rare days when I use my hand brake.

Finally I arrive home, not a child in sight, but there are empty boxes, boxes that are just the right size for something like a flatish object not quite square, I wonder if this might have been my new laptop. Of course it obviously was. But as there is no sight of either my boys or my laptop they must be together. I could go storming up the stairs shouting the odds because they opened my parcel, with my name on it, without asking my permission. But I don't I decided to stay downstairs and wait to see how long it takes for them to

a) realise I am there

b) explain why they have opened my parcel.

After about 10 minutes JA appears, he tells me that the boys are trying to surprise me by setting the laptop up for me. I believe this or do they just want a play on it.

I have had a little play with my laptop but we have not got it working wirelessly yet as I need to find out what the security code is for our network. Tomorrow I shall phone Orange to get some help.

Today I paid 2/3 of my remaining Council Tax bill for 2007. I would have paid it off but they added another £85 so I thought 'sod them they can wait'. I paid most of it but they will get the balance over the next 2 months. It is such a relief to know that both my council tax and my rent arrears have been almost paid off and will soon be wiped out. Such a feeling of satisfaction. Now I can start paying this year's bill only one month late.

Monday, 12 May 2008

Another one bites the dust

I have just discovered that yet another blog has closed suddenly

my list of blogs to read is rapidly dwindling

So those of you who are still blogging please please don't make me feel as though it was something I said

Please keep blogging or might have to cut my bloggs

emails and voices

A couple of weeks ago I exchanged email addresses at work with one of the customers I talk to often. During one of our conversations I mentioned the piece I wrote about paint roller refills recently. He showed an interest so I sent it to him. Today he sent me this:

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip.

He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped."Except what?" the man asked."Nothing, nothing.""C'mon, tell me! I need something!"

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.""So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very oldwoodenbox, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.The businessman laughed, and said,

"Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to thedoor, and started pounding the keyhole.The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box! "The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more."I'll take it!" said the businessman.

The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch.

"After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said"Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her,still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!

"The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right...Voodoo Penis, my arse.


Now how on earth am I going to have a sensible conversation with him ever again. So I emailed him back......... Well that has shattered the illusion.

Pray what illusion

I don't do praying that would be a waste of time (what I didn't say was that I can think of other things to do when I am on my knees)

OK forget praying....what illusion

I really thought you were a gentleman

It will be interesting to see if he comes back with anything else.

Its a good thing my boss was out of the office as she has begun saying that she knows who I am talking to whenever I am chatting to him.......I guess now I had better think of a name for him in case I mention him again. Now let me see.........Biffa or maybe LV (lovely voice). which reminds me that I had to confess I had been thinking about him just seconds before he phoned today. I had just been talking to one of our Reps who I think has a very nice voice and I always call him young man which tickles him because although I don't think he sounds it he is apparently nearer 60 than 50. I had just put the phone down and was thinking that his voice reminds me of someone then remembered it was Biffa aka LV when the phone rang again and it was him.

Oh and tonight I have been exchanging emails with my very first internet friend from years 8 years ago, I know it is 8 years as she has just told me that the new grandaughter who came along whilst we were friends is now 7!! We kept in touch for several years but then life got in the way for a while. " days ago she sent me a chain email and I sent her a short note back, there were three of us originally I kept in touch wit the other lady for a little longer. Until my marriage was in melt down and SF was checking my emails etc we had a huge row when he read a supportive email from her, that was the day I thought he was going to rape me, about 3 years ago.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

the spending bug

It seems that the spending bug is still with me but not only that but it has struck my mother too.
As you know I have bought my new bed which is now arriving on Friday
and I am actually having a day off (not a half day but a complete whole day so no work from 5pm Thursday until 8am Monday).
I am still waiting for my laptop to arrive, I am guessing either Monday or Tuesday this week. Probably when there is no one home.

Yesterday I took myself into Town (I don't do that unless I have to). I have been having trouble with my internet banking so made the trip to the bank and got them to make the payment that has now wiped out all my rent arrears. The main reason for getting this loan in the first place. It is such a relief to know that I no longer have to worry about playing catch up on the arrears SF left me with. Now I just need to do the same with the Council Tax arrears and the slate will be wiped clean. I still have other debts but they can wait, they are gradually getting sorted in any case. So now I think I am back on track to be debt free (apart from this loan) by the start of next year.

So there I was in town on a saturday afternoon. With money in my purse and my bank account still in the black 11 days after payday!!! This is without SF giving me his monthly cash sum of £100. It feels so good not to be scraping for enough money to ensure we have food and electricity. Thursday JA told me that his school bag was broken ......I had tried to fix it for him earlier in the week but now it was too far gone. So I went into one of the sports shops and bought him a new bag, I also bought 2 pairs of swimming shorts and some sports socks for my boys. Next stop, Woolies, don't go in there very often these days. Came out with a new CD and a new 'chick flick'. Not wishing to bore you with every shop I went into I left town with two pairs of sandals. today I have bought a hanging basket to hang outside my front door and a Simpson sunshade for my car on these hot days. oh and one of these.

Oh and I mentioned my mum, well she has only gone and ordered herself a new car which is something she has been talking about for ages but done nothing about until now!! She is trading in her blue peugeot 307 for smaller 207 but she wont tell me the colour I have to wait until I see it.

THis morning I had a long chat with Aunty for the first time in about 2 months, she has confirmed that Romeo has been very ill, too ill to work which has knocked his confidence for six as he thought he was invincible. He has burnt himself out. But she did reassure me that his feelings for me are as strong as mine for him. but where my trust in him has wavered in the last couple of weeks his trust in me is total. He is going through a re-evaluation of his life at the moment so I need to be patient.

Friday, 9 May 2008

memory lane and other lanes

I had a trip down memory lane this morning whilst at work I might add.
A phone call from one of our customers, it is standard practice to ask the customer for their postal address so that we can make sure we have the right customer account. I was quite intrigued to see that this customer's postal address indicated that it was not far from the place where I was born. We talked about this place.

We talked about the hospital where I was born, his own children were born in the same hospital. He told me that this hospital is about to be torn down and replaced with houses.
We then went on to discuss the town where our customer is based. It is the same town where I spent many many hours during my childhood, both my mother and her brother went to school in this town. My late uncle, who was killed in a road accident in Texas where he had lived for a number of years, just a week before his step daughter gave birth to her first child. Attended this school.
I have grown up knowing that another 'old boy' of this Grammar School was this man. I remember many walks through the park ending at the paddling pool in the summers. Or walking my grandparents beloved labrador retriever cross Candy through the wooded areas of the common. I went on to mention the village where my grandparents lived. To my utter surprise this man told me he is going there this evening to visit a friend who has one of the farms. I described the location of the house where I spent many happy times, he knew exactly where I meant. It was a lovely trip down memory lane and I feel also forged a closer link with this particular customer ....... 'good customer relations' I believe this is called.

It was a good day at work, but then for me most days are good. I don't allow myself to get stressed in anyway, I am getting much better at what I do and even managing to solve problems without having to keep asking for help. The good weather helps to improve the mood all around.

Last night I was feeling very low, emotionally drained. As I mentioned yesterday I chatted to Thomas but didn't feel much cheered. However he was waiting for me online this morning as prepared for work. We chatted again and my spirits were much better. It occurred to me that since last summer the two of us have chatted from time to time, generally for a couple of days then nothing for weeks. He seems to be there on days when I am in need of cheering up, this he has done and I doubt I shall hear from him again for some time. Out of all the men I met during the year I was playing the field Thomas was one of those who has made the biggest impression on me along with Swinger and Mr Passionate. Forest and Oxo also made huge impressions on me but those three are the ones I was closest to. I should include SL as he took me on a journey I wouldn't have taken on my own, but he cut me off in a way I may be able to forgive but not forget. After all who likes to be replaced by a younger model and only finding out when someone else tells you. Anyway finding Thomas online waiting for me at 6am was just the tonic this girl needed. Oh and the much awaited text that came at 8.19am that put a smile on my face.