Saturday, 14 August 2010

an afternoon at sea

As I said last time I posted on here I spent a lovely afternoon out sailing on Sailor's 32' racing yacht. Plumber came with us. I had only just introduced the two of them when the harbour master gave the all clear. It was a sudden scramble to cast off.
Out in the harbour then out into the sea

the skipper of the yacht

the other crew member
oh and yes I was there too

returning to the harbour

In the lock as we return to the mooring

It was a lovely afternoon with two great guys who had two things in common a love of sailing and ME!! I also caught the sun

Saturday, 31 July 2010

catch up

Its been a while so here's a few things to catch up

My baby boy JA (he's now about 6" taller than me) has just two years left at school, when he goes back in September the hard work gets harder as he begins preparing for his GCSE's in 2012. At the start of the month he had a 5 day sailing course which much to my relief he loved.

ET how is it possible he is officially a man now at 18 but he will always be my timid little boy scared of everything. He is working part time at M & S for the summer then in September he is going back to college (I hope he sticks it out for longer than a term this time).

OJ is quite the independent young man at 19 son to be 20 he is doing well at Uni and is currently in Thailand with some of his Uni friends for 5 weeks. When he gets back here he will be moving into a house that he will be sharing with the same friends he is with now.

DC I don't see or hear much from him these days he is busy living his own life. He has also finished his first year at Ui and has already moved into a house with friends. He is also working through the summer (at last).

Mum is slowly recovering from her last knee op, she can now walk short distances without her stick, but she does suffer when she has done too much walking about. She drives short distances ie around out town and maybe to the adjoining town. But no further, her driving worries me and I always insist on driving whenever we go anywhere together. Last weekend I took her for an overnight visit to my grandmother in the Cotswolds.

Grandmother is now 91 and thankfully stopped driving last year. She still lives alone and seems to manage but her memory is not great. She talks a lot about her father and her sister. But also her little boy and her daughter. She asked me if I ever met her little boy (he was my dad). She cried when we were leaving ..........she doesn't think she will see me again.

SF is not my favourite person right now. In the last 3 months he has paid me only £50 towards the upkeep of our children. He is meant to give me £100 per month so he is £250 short. He says he has no money and anyway I earn more than him and have a laptop and run a car. I was thinking about going back to the CSA to get money from him when I received a letter from them advising of a new calculation of what he should be paying. I have called them asking that they collect the money from him. It would mean that he can't miss payments plus I would get more, not a lot but it all helps.

Sailor He is getting used to living on his own, spends a lot of time with his daughters and grandson. We see each other when we can, last weekend we went out sailing (with Plumber) it was the first time I had been out on the open sea.

Plumber........what can I say except that he loves me, he wishes I was his wife.

My garden is about to get a make over, very soon, a gardener is going to dig up just over half of my garden and paving it for me. A week later a contractor from my housing association are finally replacing my fence. (It has only taken since November).

Sunday, 13 June 2010


We have now been divorced for a little over 4 years yet several times a year and yesterday was one of those times he asks the question

Is there any chance we can try again?


Sunday, 6 June 2010

Finding family

Growing up I always felt that I was missing out. There were 5 of us...... mum, dad, me and my 2 brothers DA and TJ. Both sets of grandparents lived an hour away, before both sets moved further away from us down in Kent. My paternal grandparents moved first to Cotswolds then my maternal grandparents moved to deepest Dorset. My dad had a much younger sister but she was at boarding school then moved to Germany to follow her chosen career, she later met and married out there before years later having two children (now in their early 20's). My mum had one brother R who didn't want children, he met and married an American. He had only ever returned to UK a few times in the years since. So our life was not like that of all our friends who had extended families around them. There were no aunts and uncles or cousins in our lives.

My maternal grandfather was an only child but my granny was one of six although I only ever met great uncle John who lived with his wife and only daughter (mum's only cousin) on the south coast near Bournemouth. My paternal grandparents families were a bit of a mystery to us but I had always known that Grandmother M and her sister B had 'so many stepmothers they could make a ladder'. Great aunt B had four children (my dad had 10 cousins but I have no idea who the others are/were). I have always known the names of aunt B's children the youngest J is just 2 years older than me. I have heard tales of his antics when visiting us when I was a baby/toddler but have no recollection myself. Aunt B and her family moved to Glasgow when I was still very young so even these 'cousins' were out of my reach.

I did get to meet J and his sister S back in 1977 when we were on holiday in Scotland, we spent an afternoon visiting aunt B and Uncle D, both J & S were out but popped in for a short time. I was an inpressionable and shy 15 yr old and was instantly smitten with the good looking sporty 17 yr old cousin. The older siblings (sister G & brother D) had left home by then.

Some years later I met G and D (and his wife and baby daughter F) at a suprise family lunch for my grandparents golden anniversary. I was very poorly and spent much of the day sleeping in aunt B's hotel room. Everyone wrongly thought I was pregnant. Although I missed the meal I did manage to be in the family photograph taken in the hotel garden.

I saw my dad's sister BD and her two children a couple of times in the next few years (her son R is just weeks older than my #1 son DC and her daughter A just 2 yrs older). The last time I saw A & R was about 12 years ago. The last time I saw my aunt BD and cousin G was at my dad's funeral 15 yrs ago.

So it has been a long time since I saw most of my family. Great aunt B died a couple of years ago. My Uncle R was run over in Texas about 8 yrs ago.

My only two real cousins A & R who are nearer to the age of my children have grown up in Germany although I now gather that A lives in Ealing.

My only family I see regularly are my mum and my grandmother.

Until yesterday............I have found my family and there are so many ore connections going on that we didn't realise...........but that is another post

some of you will be interested to see who my 2nd cousins are and what we discovered on our day out..........Dani I will email you.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Still alive

Ok so I have not blogged for a while.

There have been a few times when I have thought...............I could blog about that. But by the time I get a chance the inspiration has gone.

There hasn't been much to blog about really. My work has been busy, Since March I have been attempting to keep up with as much work as I can which has seen me working through my lunch break a few times just to keep the pressure down a bit. The reason is that where a year ago there were three of us working together (in theory). Then since september it was reduced to two of us, since March my colleague has been covering another important post within the company (one which is vital to the running of the company). So for the last few months I have been trying to cope mostly on my own. (Business has also picked up a bit too). This has meant that I have been coming home exhausted. However things should be getting back to normal in the next few months with two new staff joining the office very soon.

I suppose I should update you on what happened after my last post.

SF arrived at my home with his friend and colleague from before he lost his licence 4 years ago. I chatted to GG for a few minutes as I hadn't seen him for a few years. SF is very lucky to have such a good friend who will turn out for him in times of need. (hmmm idea just sprung to mind GG now on his own since both kids have left home.........hmm perhaps should suggest this).

I offered SF a cuppa but he was ok he had his beer (a case of it) during the evening I chatted to him with our boys. He has been smoking since I filed for divorce, but agreed to smoke outside as this has always been a smoke free zone. It was fine while I was sat downstairs with SF and ET. I reiterated that it would only be one night.

It was after I went to bed that it got worse for me. ET had also gone to bed shortly after me, I heard the stairs and landing creaking, I heard SF's voice outside my door, he was speaking to JA & ET. I lay awake until gone 2am listening to every noise worrying that my door would open. The memories of those 7 months of hell while he still lived in the house during our divorce came flooding back. The fears and feelings I had during that time had returned. There is no way in this world I could have another night like that. In the morning I got ready for work as I was leaving I woke JA telling him to ake his father a cuppa and get him to leave when he went to school. I was not impressed that the whole house stank of cigarette smoke and he had used one of my candle dishes as an ashtray. At work I worried that he wouldn't go. I phoned OJ (he had been out the previous night) repeatedly until he assured me at 9am that his dad had gone. Two days later he phoned me to ask if he could sleep on my sofa again. I said NO and he accepted that and to my relief hasn't bothered me since.

That same night I had also told Plumber online that it was time he started being honest with me. Of course he had no idea what I was talking about. But because SF arrived while we were talking we couldn't have a proper conversation that night. A couple of nights later we had a heated conversation about his lies. He has now admitted that he does live at home some of the time but they have seperate rooms. Hes still not being totally honest but its a start and he now knows that I will not stand for bare faced lies. Our relationship if you can call it that has become stronger. Over recent weeks he has said that he thinks I deserve a better life and if he could he would give it to me but current circumstances mean he can't at present. He says that he won't stop me seeing others and hopes I wont stop him but he won't go out of his way to see other women .......I satisfy all his needs. (whatever he means by that).

Plumber knows I have been seeing Sailor (who also knows about Plumber). They are both happy to share me but don't want me to be hurt or damaged. A few times there have been half arrangements for the three of us to go sailing together. But on the day things didn't work out. I have now been out in the harbour with Sailor on his boat a couple of times, once just using the engine then on Monday after work we spent a couple of hours sailing while the weather was good. I really enjoyed that and hope to go again this weekend. Plumber is very jealous (of us sailing).

Tuesday evening I had a posh frock evening (thank heavens for ebay) I wore a purple dress
with silver heels mum calls them y 'Dorothy slippers'. It was the Rotary club President's night. Very different to previous ones I had been to. This was at a pub on the A32 that I have passed many times but not taken much notice of because it does not look inviting from outside. It turns out to be a restaurant that has tribute acts performing a caberate on a small stage. The room we were in had a very strange mix of traditional countryside prints including a Roebuck, and theatrical ornamentation. There was a chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. The place is run by a couple of men who had been in the theatre in their past. One of them apparently was one of the countries leading pantomime Dames.

So now you know what has been going on in my life in the last 5 or 6 weeks.

Monday, 19 April 2010

I'm not doing it for his sake

Today I invited SF (my ex husband) to sleep on my sofa ............for one night and one night only.

PB thinks I have lost all sense and gone completely mad.

I didn't make the suggestion for his sake although I do feel sorry for him (for today).

He rang me at work...........yet again!!

As soon as he began talking I knew he was distressed but it could have been that he was very drunk.

He said he had phoned OJ and asked him to stay with him tonight at his place..........he didn't say whether OJ had agreed or not.

He then told me that this morning when he got home from his early morning work he found his g/f dead on the sofa.............massive heart attack he said.

That was why he wanted OJ to stay with him to keep him company tonight.

I was not about to make my son spend the night in a room where someone had died just hours earlier.

That is why I said that SF could stay on my sofa for one night and one night that he could have the company of his sons without them having to stay at his place.

I am doing this for their sake not his.

But I am not such a cold hearted bitch that I would make him stay on his own

But it is for one night only..............he will not be moving in as PB thinks he will............. there is no way in this world I am letting him back.

And while I am feeling strong and imovable I have told Plumber to start being will make life easier for him.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

mixed basket

A lot of things have been going through my head

Firstly as I drive around at the moment it has been lovely to see all the daffodils waving their yellow and cream heads at us as we pass. I know they are very late this year, I'm not sure exactly but it has to be at least a month if not more. I got to thinking about all the roadsides that are wearing their coat of yellow, we become so accustomed to seeing them year in and year out. But it has never occurred to me before to wonder. Is this a British thing or do other countries have battalions of daffodils on their roadsides and roundabouts like we do.

Secondly I have been thinking about all the people stranded abroad and of course those wanting to go but I think it is worse for those waiting to come home. I know of 3 people who have been abroad and should have come home but are still stuck, one in Spain, one in Holland (I would have thought he could have got a ferry home) and another in Cairo. Every day the airspace shut down is extended by another 7 hours, we are told that this could go on for days maybe even weeks. Not only will this cause chaos for passengers who either can't get back from or get to where ever they need to be. There will be chaos for the air freight business too. I know that the Company I work for has to have good flown in from varios places and that is just the tiniest tip of the iceberg. The bosses of the airlines must be pulling their hair out to have this happen (especially now). They did not have a good start to the year with the snow closing airports across the country. Then earlier this month there were the strikes. One has to wonder if some of the smaller airlines will survive.

I have been poorly again but you don't want to know that. I just figure I must have put my foot in my mouth big style when towards the end of march I told someone that I was very lucky that with all the colds and other bugs going around I had not caught anything for at least a year. Well I have made up for it big time in the last few weeks. I think I have paid my penance now for being so arrogant...............I've had enough now and think illness should leave me alone now and let me get on with life without disruption.

I met an old friend today while I was doing my shopping, she told me that she is going for tests tomorrow to find out if she as breast cancer. She is not coping well at the moment, it didn't help that a so called friend phoned her this morning to tell her that another friend died in the night with breast cancer. At least I was able to balance that out by telling her that on Friday I was told that someone who had been waiting for the results of the same tests had been told hers was non cancerous. I have promised to remind her every day that no matter what the results are she will get through it and to keep laughing.

I know a lot of women including the wonderful firebyrd and my son's g/f's mother who have had breast cancer and survived to tell the tale.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Its my birthday and I'll do what I want to

It's my birthday .....another year closer to 50 eeekk

I woke up late to a quiet house. On my laptop there were some birthday wishes waiting for me on facebook including one from Vi who said my ears should have been burning in my dreas becasue she has been lucky enough to meet nitebyrd and Mulder on her holiday in USA. Now if I had been keeping up with my blog reading I would have known this as both Vi and Nitebyrd had blogged that they would meet. I am so jealous Vi is such a lovely lovely woman who I have had the pleasure of meeting 3 or 4 times. Nitebyrd I would love to meet and Mulder of course during his brief spell of blogging I teased relentlessly and would do now if he was still blogging. Anyway I am glad that they all got to meet and I shall look forward to hearing all about it guys have got my email address if you don't want to tell me in public.

I was just thinking about running a bath to get ready for meeting my mum for lunch. My phone alert went off it was a birthday greting from I didn't expect that. We exchanged text a few weeks ago when we had almost bumped into each other at the Dr's carpark. But other wise we had not had contact for months. I didn't even think he knew when my birthday is. I can only assume that he had seen it on facebook (we are friends but I don't think he ever goes on there.......even less than firebyrd). So I text him back thanks and this is a nice suprise.......cheeky man replied didn't I know it was my birthday.

Yesterday when I was chatting online to Golf I had asked him for suggestions about where mum & I could for lunch today.......He suggested a waterside pub that he knows. If I was then free at a reasonable time we could meet up after lunch. It has been a long time since I last saw him and don't now have his phone number. He said he will text me.
Before I set off for lunch with mum I asked Marmie if she would recomend the pub Golf had suggested, but she mentioned another pub within yards of the first one. We followed Marmie's advice but parking was a problem. I had to drop mum off and go off to find somewhere to park (like looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack). I'm sure she was beginning to think she had been abandoned. It was at the pub that mum gave me my birthday card, I did have to laugh, not only is it so right for me but also identical to the one I got from my colleagues at work on Friday.

I have only received 2 cards at the moment and they are the same .........obviously I am predictable.

I was sitting chatting to mum at her dinning table back at her house when I got a text ..........happy birthday.........there was no name just an unknown number. I wasn't sure but I guessed it could be Golf. The next text asked if I had had a good lunch I knew it was Golf. He was in his office in the city but about to go home to pack for a business trip to Egypt, we could meet on his way home. I told him I would be admiring the view of the city from a car park. I didn't say which one.

I drove up onto the hill glancing at the first couple of car parks for his car. He had sent me a further two text by then but my phone was playing up so I couldn't read them. I was just thinking about one of the car parks that had a slightly higher view point than others but decided to go to the car park where we last met last summer. I had just passed the turning when I saw his car coming towards me and turn into the car park I had rejected. I carried on until I could turn. Parking up next to his car I checked my phone again ....still not able to read my messages. He was quite bemused that I had found him as we hadn't agreed a place to meet. We chatted for a while and agreed to meet for a drink once he is back from his trip.

When I got home the boys were all awake (so they should be at 5pm on a sunday) and had cleared the kitchen and the livingroom.....not great but a big improvement. This evening I am going out for a drink with Sailor.

Sunday, 4 April 2010

Day time tv

The last week has meant a lot of sleeping. I don't think I have slept this much for years. The last time I felt this ill was whan I had a virus and my Dr thought my cancer had returned.

There has been a lot of tv watching. I have watched a lot of house programs either finding or doing up. I have wat
ched a few CSI programs. There have been old episodes of Top Gear. I have even stooped to watching Jeremy Kyle. There have been panel games and quiz shows.

There have been a fair few chats with a few men I have begun chatting to recently but being ill I have not really been that bothered about chatting a lot. My attention has been limited and have often just trialed off either forgetting they were still there or telling them I need to sleep.

But there has been one man I have chatted to most days on and off. He is having problems with his internet at the moment but BT have promised to have him back online by Tues. Feeling a touch of cabin fever after a week in my sick bed I agreed to go out for a drink with him. He really is a lovely man and fairly local too. I will definately be seeing more of him. (Actually this was not our first date as I met him before I became ill).
For much of the week food has been a big issue. I knew I had to eat to get stronger but eating anything was such a struggle. Hot food was out of the question as it made me gag, even the smell of food being cooked by/for my boys made me feel queasy. Eating anything was a chore, it was taking 5 minutes to eat a biscuit. But little by little I have got there, against his instincts Plumber brought me ice cream, cartons of custard and packets of instant dessert. I needed food that I could swallow without having to chew it. Apart from my boys Plumber was the only person I saw all week. He came round twice in one day although most days he said he would call in. He is an has been very goo for me but I still can't rely on him.

On Friday DC came home for a while and between us we made up a shopping list which he and OJ went off and bought returning 2 hours later......they seem to have bought everything I asked for. There have now been 3 occasions when all 4 of my boys have been in the house at the same time which has been nice. DC has even got himself a part time job (not before time) starting next weekend. OJ has been tutoring a friend's brother in A level maths every day this week for £10 hr. ET has got himself an interview to go back to college in Sept.

Things are beginning to look up.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010


I have not been on here for a while not for any sinister reason but because I have been very stupid and given myself food poisoning. Thinking I had got over it I returned to work last friday where I had a diabetic episode and was sent home. By the time I reached home I knew I was very ill (felt like flu). But I was convinced that after a good nights sleep I would be better again. It is now Tuesday and although I am considerably better than over the weekend I am still very uncomfortable. I still have a severe lack of energy. But to slow down my recovery I am struggling to eat even the simplest of things. Although I was very pleased with myself yesterday for managing a whole slice of toast.

My Dr has signed me off work for the entire week with the threat of longer if I am not suitably recovered after the Easter bank holiday.

I am afraid this is all the energy I have to write ..............time to go back to sleep again

Friday, 19 March 2010


It began with an afternoon shopping trip. This was going to be no ordinary shopping trip. Plumber was taking me to a sex shop, my first ever, to buy me whatever toys I wanted. As it turned out the shop was a bit of an anti climax. I chose one toy but overall we were not impressed with the shop. I think from now on I shall purchase any future toys and other accessories online.

Following this we investigated a new store that had only been open a few months. Starting off checking out the printed canvases and soft furnishings we then moved outside to the garden centre checking out bulbs, pots and possible paving designs. Next we took the escalator to the upper floor where we checked out the variety of sofas and armchairs. That was fun although I did bring attention to myself when I was about to stand up from one of the reclining archairs that Plumber couldn't make work. As I moved to stand it shot out suprising me so much that I shrieked, Plumber thought I had been hurt.

By the time we had been to Tesco for a bottle of my favourite rum and some diet coke we were both hungry. We decided against going anywhere for dinner instead we bought fish and chips to take back to his house. A glass or two each of red wine to go with our supper we had a relaxing evening watching tv and taking it in turns to have a bath. Of course that night we had to experiment with my new toy together with the other new ones I had got from an Ann Summers party a week earlier.

Sunday we had a lazy morning sleeping in, having a light breakfast and watching tv before he dropped me home. It being Mother's day we both had mothers to see. The rest of the week saw us spending each night either together or talking online. There was much tv watching, films included 'Troy' and 'The goood, The bad and The Ugly'. Documentaries included 'the Coast' among many others. Meals were cooked and eaten. Most of the time we were at his place but we also drank tea and watched tv at my place. He has forged a bond with our family cat.

Mid week he was poorly, he wanted me to spend the evening keeping him company. Just being there with him helped, he says I kept him calm where he would normally be irritable. That night I didn't stay over but drove home in the midnight fog.

This last week has been good, it has been companionable. It could have been a very sexual week but it wasn't it was nice just to have each other's company. It reminded me what I miss not being in a relationship. It was good behaving like a proper couple. But we are not a proper couple. I doubt we ever will be. He doesn't want a commitent and I have various reason why he would not be my chosen partner in life. But for now having him in my life is good and I am glad to bring some sunshine into his life too.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

its a bet

What is my son turning into?
This afternoon he posted the following on facebook

now has 32 bets on today's football. Potential winnings £500 Total spent £4.96. Oh the wonders of being a Mathemagician.

it's 32 separate bets on the same 5 matches.
The beauty of binomial expansion.
Basically £500 if all 5 are wins in my favour.
then i win less money if there is 1 draw
some money if there is 2 draws... See More
a bit more money if there is 3 draws
quite a bit of money if there is 4 draws
£400 if there is 5 draws.

If Everton win however I will cry

1 (free £5 bet) on all 5 winning, then 31x16p bets. 5 on 1 draw, 10 on 2 draws, 10 on 3 draws, 5 on 4 draws, 1 on 5 draws.

At the end of the day it's a fiver so i'm willing to take the risk on Everton. As they don't allow me to bet on Everton winning aswell becuase then i break the bookmakers system lol

p.s. I'd pay £5 to make football this much more interesting anyway. Even if i lose

Hmm he has been away from home less than 6 months and hes turning into ..........

Saturday, 6 March 2010

more than a friend

I thought that after my last post I should write a new one about Plumber.

We seem to have fallen into a comfortable friendship. Which is what he wants, a good friendship without commitment. He tells me that I am his lover and his friend. At the moment it is more friend than lover as there has been no intimacy between us since last summer. He visits me at home often, whether it is to help me with any jobs like my garden clearance or for a cuppa and a natter. But whilst he is here there is no intimacy at all. I would be quite happy to have a cuddle and kiss but while my sons are home he will behave like the perfect gentleman.

He says he is my fairy godfather, he likes to help me out. He tells me that he is always here for me. He tells me that if my landlords don't get my fence fixed soon he will do it and send them the bill. (I am still waiting for him to fix my shower since last June). I know he will do anything for me, I just can't rely on him.

Since he finally managed to switch to my main msn account we chat online more often. Last weekend we chatted in the early evening but he soon went off to bed early as he was very tired after working all day. I was up late but was just about falling asleep in the middle of editing some photos. It was slow going and was almost 3am, when I noticed the little orange tab showing that Plumber was chatting. I was more asleep than awake but this unexpected turn of events meant that I was soon wide awake again. We had the silliest conversation (one of these word association type conversations). starting off with him saying he would call round next day if I was in.

I have a date with a hoover


Damn you guessed

This went on for ages skipping from one subject to another until we ran out of steam when we got to cheddar gorge being cheesy. By this time it was 5.30am. This was a really silly conversation but it was one of the best even if it was at a stupid hour.

Earlier this week we were chatting early in the evening when I mentioned that it would be nice to have a cuddle. His immediate reaction was to ask what was the matter. I told him there was nothing wrong, I didn't need a cuddle just thought it would be nice. He came round for a cuppa and a natter on Thursday eve. We had been sat together on my sofa for a couple of hours when to my suprise he put his arm around me. I was even more suprised that he kept his arm around me when ET came through to make himself a drink. Plumber and ET had a conversation about job hunting. Still he kept his arm around me. Later he said something about me having the cuddle I had wanted. (there were a few kisses involved too).

Next evening ET asked me

Is Plumber now your boyfriend?

He is my friend

You don't cuddle friends

I left it at that, I don't feel inclined to explain to my 18 yr old son that Plumber is my friend with benefits (more friend less benefits ~ although I benefit from being his friend).

Sunday, 28 February 2010


Over the years I have been adding to a collection that I would have preferred not to start.

It began while SF was still here. For many years SF worked for a company whose main business was/is waste disposal. Among the many things that annoyed me about SF was that most people take their rubbish to the tip but he had a habit of bringing other people's unwanted possessions home with him. One of these things was an upright piano keyboard. It was being thrown out by a school as it was passed it usefulness. For sometime it stood in my living/dinning area taking up valuable space. It was good for the boys to practice their keyboard skills provided they didn't play it for more than 10 minutes at a time (it had a habit of turning itself off).

So eventually it was moved outside a placed on the small patio up against the fence, before it would be disposed of. It was joined by a 3 seater sofa that had been replaced (by another second hand one). Neither of these items were going to fit into my car to be taken to the household tip. Over the last few years more and more has been added to this collection. I have made numerous trip to the tip getting rid of smaller items. As fast as I got rid of stuff more took its place.

I could have asked the council to take away the keyboard and sofa but they would have charged me. I could have borrowed or hired a van but I couldn't afford that and commercial vans are not permitted at the tip. I considered hiring a skip but even if I could afford it there is nowhere for it to be left as I do not have a drive neither is there a road outside my house.

All I could do was keep making trips to the tip with the smaller items that could be loaded into my small car. When I got my new furniture a few weeks ago I was determined not to let the pile of rubbish that my collection had become get any bigger.

I made up my mind that I would take a day off work during the school holidays so that I had teenagers to help. I text Plumber asking if he would be around on the date as I would be taking a day off. I told him what I planned and he agreed to help.

On the day Plumber arrived just as I was moving my car around to the garages to be loaded up for the first time. Between us with JA and ET we began the long task of clearing away as much as we could. Whilst we were doing this we heard the glanging of the hand bell being rung by te local scrap metal collector. That was lucky he doesn't come by very often (not that I would know not normally being at home in the day). He took away the old excercise bike, bbq and an old bike.

Plumber stood looking at the task ahead of us. He knew that with only my car to transport everything this was going to be a long hard day (in the rain). He asked for my phone book made a few calls and arranged for someone to call round in the afternoon to see what needed clearing.

Plumber went off to do some errands while I made the trip to the tip for what would now be the only time that day. He returned just prior to the arrival of the clearance man who judged the job would cost £150 and he could do it the next morning. Plumber paid him out of his own pocket.

True to their word when I returned home from work next day it was all gone.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

A very long day

After my late night drinking tea with Plumber I really needed to get an early night on Saturday but that wasn't to be. I had gone to bed and was just about to turn off my laptop when Plumber came online. We discussed where I would leave my car while I was off on my travels. I was meeting my colleague Cathy at my local rail station at 7am. (I must be mad!!). I had planned to park in a street not far from the station but Plumber was sure the station car park would be free on a Sunday. By the time we had finished chatting and I had checked out the car park situation it was gone 1am. Not clever considering I needed to be getting up at 5am.

When I arrived at the station at 6.45am Cathy was already there. Her first comment was that we were both wearing purple and black, my black trouser suit, purple blouse and accessories and her black and purple dress. Little did we know that when we eventually joined Boss Lady at the exhibition stand she would also be in black suit and purple patterned blouse.

We made good time arriving at the NEC at 9am but still had a long slow drive snaking along the road between the many car parks until we were directed to a parking space. We then climbed on board a bus (I was going to say jumped on but that would give an impression of fitness that isn't there). Hanging on for dear life as the bus swung us this way and that (it was standing room only when we got on). We were deposited outside the main entrance to one set of halls (luckily our hall was close by). A few minutes later we were checking out the floor plan to see where we should be. After 10 minutes of walking around in circles we were back checking the plan again. It still took a while searching before we found our stand.

I enjoyed the day talking to both current and prospective customers as well as meeting suppliers. (Thats something I don't normally get involved with as I am on the sales side of the business). It was very different meeting people face to face instead of speaking on the phone. Being cheeky and familiar with men I have never met before was fun as was showing off my memory for names etc.

The plan had been for me to catch the train home at 15.14 but it soon became apparent that that wasn't going to happen. In stead I set off for the station at 16.00 my poor feet hurting with every step made progress slow, it didn't help that I had no idea how far it was to the station, its all very well looking at a map.

On arriving at the station I rumaged in my bag for my ticket before looking at the board to find my train. Looking at the arrivals board there was no sign of my train. Not suprising really as the clock was now showing 16.15 damn missed it !!! I found a seat and prepared to wait for the next train in another hour. I made my way gingerly on still painful feet down the steps to the platform at 17.00 giving myself 14 minutes of agony standing waiting for the train.

It was with short lived relief that I saw the train pulling into the station. The carriage closest to me was packed, people were piling into the corridor. Walking down the platform I found that each carriage and corridor were the same. I had no choice but to stand in the very last corridor taking up the last standing position. With my feet screaming silently objecting to this further punishment. At least it should be ok once we reach Coventry and other passengers get off.

Coventry came and went yes passengers left the train only to be replaced by others, Leamington Spa was the same, Oxford and Banbury too. Finally after standing for an hour I managed to get a seat when we reached Reading. Squashed into the seat with more people standing in the aisles it was not much more comfortable but at least I could take the weight of my feet at last.

When I booked my ticket I knew that I would have to change at Southampton but it didn't say which of the two stations it was stopping at I needed to change. I chose to get off at the first of the two and yes according to the timetable there would be a train going to my home town in half an hour. It was by now 19.40 my train was due at 20.11. it would be more comfortable to sit in the waiting room. It was until the announcement that the waiting room was closing at 8pm.

Back on the cold dark platform I examined the timetable again as the trains being announced didn't seem to be going in the right direction. According to the lists of times and stations the train at 20.11 would call at my staion but the train that was due then was going in the opposite direction. I crossed to the other platform to await the next train going to Southampton central. Once I arrived there I looked for the next train home, I found the time but not the platform. I settled on a bench to wait, calling DC for a chat. I then checked again for my train discovering that I was on the wrong platform..........I reached the correct platform where my train was waiting, pressed the burron to open the door only to find that the train pulled away without me!

Ok so there would be another in 20 mins and at east now I was at the right station on the right platform! My phone rang unexpectedly, I assumed it would be a family member but it was LV. I told him where I was. He said that if he had known he would have given me a lift home. Isn't he a lovely friend. We had just finished chatting when my train arrived.

I finally arrived home at 21.37 after a very long and tiring yet enjoyable day. I am glad I went but next time I think I will drive myself, it will be quicker and less tiring than going by train.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Tea for two

All week I have meant to write a post but wearyness over took me. It has taken me a full week to recover from last weekend.

On Friday evening I had arranged to go with my friend Jane to hear Plumber's rock band playing at a venue about 12 miles away. Jane had had a nightmare couple of days and only just got home when I was getting ready to go out so we were later leaving than intended. I think it was around 9.30pm when we walked in to the very quiet pub. Plumber had warned me that they treat gigs at this pub as practice sessions as it is never very busy. But I wasn't prepared for just how quiet it was especially as this pub is fairly big. Apart from the band and their entourage and the bar staff there perhaps a dozen customers in the pub.

Plumber greeted us saying that there had been a problem with one of the amps but they were still going to play. As the evening progressed more people arrived and the atmosphere improved. Plumber came over to speak to us a few times. I invited him to come round for a cup of tea after the gig (knowing it would be late). I did offer to open a bottle of wine but he would stil have to drive home so opted for tea. After the gig ended Jane and I headed out to my car, we were just getting settled in our seats when Plumber came looking for us. He complained that we had left without saying goodbye. (I didn't want to draw attention to our relationship in front of his friends). Jane thought it was very romantic that he had come looking for me.

Once I had driven home after dropping Jane off, I put on the kettle, lit my assortment of candles on the mantlepiece and grabbed some time to relax with my laptop while I waited. OJ who had come home for a few days was sat in the livingroom. I quickly went onto facebook changing my status to read................kettle on, candles lit, waiting for Plumber to arrive. It was about 1am when ET came in saying

'whats this about Plumber..........he isn't coming round now is he?'

With that both boys disappeared upstairs. You see Face Book does have it uses...........I didn't even have to ask my sons to give us some privacy.

It was 1.45am when Plumber arrived. We sat on my new sofa chatting and drinking tea until 3am. By the time I had turned everything off and gone to bed it was gone 3.45 when I finally went to sleep.

Sunday, 31 January 2010

Just call me Rose

Did I ever tell you that my name is Rose?

Have you ever heard of second hand Rose?

Well thats me. Second Hand Rose

Why am I telling you this now you might ask.

Back at the end of November I was asked if I wanted to change my 3 piece suite. I was being offered my friend PB's parents' suite as they were getting a new one. I was shown a photo of a suite in the same colour scheme as my livingroom. The yellow suite I have had for the last 5 years or so had previously belonged to PB and her then husband. As had the pink suite we had before that. Having 4 sons who were not only football and cricket mad but also into wrestling it didn't take long for these sofas to be ruined. I am glad I have never had new furniture while my boys were intent on climbing and jumping all over it. This time though I am hoping that the two still at home are old enough and mature enough to treat our furniture with more respect.

So today was the day my new suite was delievered by PB and my boss. But before they could deliver it I needed to make room for it. I had decided to keep the 2 seater sofa but throw out the 3 seater. Saturday evening saw me and ET attempting to get it out through the kitchen to our back garden. (I am planning to get a skip sometime soon to get rid of all the rubbish that is still there). Between us we manouvered it to the doorway upended it and began to move it through the gap. Half way through it wedged itself with just a couple of inches on either side I was stuck in the kitchen whilst ET was in the livingroom. It wouldn't move either way, so ET stood on the other sofa to reach the side of the arm cutting away at the fabric and foam covering in the hope that this would make a difference. When he had stripped away as much as he could there was nothing more he could do. Eventually we managed to get it back into the livingroom. It didn't matter which way we turned it, there was noway it was going to fit.

There was nothing else for it but to set about dismantling it. Out came my mallet and a pair of scissors. I excused ET saying I would call him when I need him. I actually enjoy weilding my mallet, seeing something solid reduced to a pile of wood and fabric. Not only does it give me great satisfaction but it is easier to get it outside and eventually into my car to the tip. I managed to break it down enough to get it through the kitchen door swivel it round and out through the back door..............all on my own. Then the clearing up process began. It's no wonder my shoulder has been aching since.

Now that I have a new two seater sofa and two arm chairs I think the old 2 seater will have to go too as there is not enough room otherwise.

This afternoon I took my mum out for a short drive. Nowhere exciting just to get her out of the house as she is feeling the effects of cabin fever now after a month of being stuck inside.

Friday, 29 January 2010

The good, bad and the ugly

There have been some good things this week.

The money I had found last week was given to me mid week as it hadn't been claimed even though every female in the building was asked if they had lost any.

I had a very pleasant evening with a certain friend last Sunday.

I now have my train ticket for my journey home from the trade show next weekend (paid for by the Company).

this is a snippet of a conversation last night............
i know silly its me being happy and stupid
happy and stupid?
at the moment feel very happy cause i am talking to u
aww that's lovely kiss
but would like to try anything that makes u happy

I was invited to join a new social group set up by my friend Fire Byrd. (if you would like to have a look and maybe join then please go here)

There was something bad this week

I received my annual rent review. As from March my rent is being increased by 7% if it wasn't already a struggle!!

That just leaves the ugly

Today I saw a Jaguar drive into the office car park. Now in itself that would be a good thing, I am sure that by now you are aware that I have an obsession with these beautiful cars. But this was just criminal...........this jag was being used as a taxi cab and as such had the taxi cab telephone number and name plastered along the sides and along the top of the windscreen. How could anyone do such a thing to one of these beautiful cars?

Saturday, 23 January 2010

not an old boiler

I have just had a good week

Not an exceptional week but a fairly decent one. On Tuesday I had a call from Spark he was placing an order but will only speak to me so instead of calling the office he calls my mobile. Not that I mind much. Because of the nature of his business he tends to collect his orders rather than have them delivered. But this time it was going to be difficult so he asked if I would be able to meet him to deliver his goods. As our journeys home from work took us in opposite directions along the same road.

So on Tuesday after work I drove over the hill to the Gladstonian where I parked next to spark's car. No sooner was I out of the car than he was kissing me. I broke out of his embrace and suggested we transfer the parcels from my car to his. He asked if we could sit in my car for a bit.
After a little more kissing Spark told me that he has thought about me a lot. He asked if I had been thinking about him and did I ever think we might meet up again.

'no not are not available and I am worth more than a quick fumble in a car'.

I think that suprised him. Although he did agree with me quite emphatically about being worth more. We talked and kissed for a while before going our seperate ways.

On wednesday late afternoon I found some money that someone had dropped. It was quite a bit of money and I could really do with it at this time. It would be really helpful a I don't get paid until next friday. I was telling Plumber about it later and he said

'I hope you kept it......but knowing you, you did the honest thing and handed it in.'

of course he was right, I did hand it in. Although it was very tempting I know I would be devastated if I had lost that amount of money and it didn't get handed in, besides I believe in Karma. It also felt good to be doing the right thing.

During my chat with Plumber I told him that I was meant to be going out on Saturday evening with a friend but I might have to tell her I couldn't afford it. I told him which pub in the city we were going to. I know that the band he roadie's for play there sometimes. But he told me we should go to their gig at a more local pub (in the village where my friend now lives) on friday. He even said he would give me money for drinks.

Work has been good too.....the volume of work coming in is not high but I have been able to make progress with a few of my projects. There is also a trade show at the Birmingham NEC very soon which my boss will be attending with a trade stand for several days. I shall be there on the Sunday which will be good experience for me and good for my networking. I have a choice I drive there and back on the Sunday knowing that I will have to be in the office working on the Monday. Or get a lift there and train home (2 1/2 hrs drive or 3 1/2 hrs by train).

I was telling Forest about going up to the show, he thought I meant this Sunday, which would put paid to his plan to invite me round for some fun this sunday evening. After clearing up that bit of confusion I said I would consider it and let him know.

Friday evening arrived my friend picked me up and took me back to her place from where we walked to the pub which was already buzzing. A double rum and coke or two later when the band had begun playing I turned around and found one of my neighbours stood behind me. We chatted for a few minutes, our sons are friends. It occurred to me that I might be able to get a lift home with him. However he only stayed for the first set so that was no good. In the end I asked Plumber if he knew anyone who could give me a lift otherwise I would have to order a taxi. Plumber said that he could take me but I would have to wait for him to load up the van drive it to the drummer's house not far away and come back with his car.

His mate who has been over from his new home in a warmer european country (staying with him) offered to wait with me. He was very friendly and told me all about the lifestyle where he now lives. He did say 'so you know plumber then'. I was very vague just saying 'yes we are friends'. Fortunately our transport arrived just then. I climbed in the back and Plumber drove me home. On arrival he walked me to my back door (out of sight of his car) where he kissed me, told me that his mate doesn't know he is seperated. Noticed the state of my garden fence (which we had discussed at the time it came down a few months ago). He also said that he hoped I would be able to go to he party they were having on Saturday night.

I was feeling hungry when I got in so made a pasta snack but used too much water so it was too sloppy but at 1am I wasn't going to make anything else. To my suprise when I turned on my laptop Forest was there saying 'hello drunk' . I had warned him earlier that I was going out drinking. ( he isn't a night owl like me). I am afriad I fell asleep chatting to him. when I woke up half an hour later he had said good night so had Plumber who had also tried to chat to me.

Whilst at my mother's on saturday afternoon ET called to say there was a problem with our boiler, he had put more gas on but couldn't get the boiler to fire up. I went home to sort it out only to discover that it has lost pressure and needs to be re-pressurised. Fine! we followed all te instructions, locate flexible filler loop. That was the problem we couldn't find one. We checked online, I called Plumber and LV for help. Plumber was very good spending ages trying to help me on the phone but wasn't available to come round. He was setting up the gear for the night's gig in a village a little way off. (I told him I wasn't going after all as my friend couldn't get a babysitter). If I couldn't get it sorted he would call round on sunday to fix it for me.

I called LV who also spent ages on the phone trying to find the solution. Between all of us we conclude that the 'flexible filling loop' has been hard fitted, but I couldn't get it to do anything. So here I am on sunday morning feeling cold and unwashed. Waiting for a suitable time to request a visit from Plumber.

Plumber has been and took all of a minute to fix the problem :)

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Unsung hero's

One thing that impressed me during my hours of snowbound travel was the spirit of the people around me.

At various times people would leave their vehicles in search of news then on returning they would stop and share what news there was with others. When cars were stuck others gave a helping hand with pushing them until they could move without help.

When I reached the village 2.5 hours after leaving work, I got out of my car. The man from the car ahead of me (KFC)was standing around with his large umbrella he offered me shelter from the snow while we both stretched our legs. I had been trying to contact my sons to tell them why I wasn't home, but I couldn't get a signal. He offered me the use of his phone which was on another network.

During another break in our progress he went off to the garage to buy a sandwich. On his return he asked if I needed anything. Later when we were at another junction further on from the garage an elderly gentleman from a couple of cars behind me asked to borrow my mobile (I was using it to listen to local radio and to text my family ). KFC offered him the use of his phone. The elderly man was then able to contact an aquaintance to arrange a bed for the night. He was then assisted to move his car to the side of the road so he could walk off.

The car behind mine had a family including a girl of around 8 or 9 who seemed to be enjoying the adventure and played in the snow a bit. Her father and KFC helped me to find and fit my towing eye. There were people from nearby houses walking along offering hot drinks food and toilets. They also organised somewhere for people to go to if they were not able to go any further. They kept us informed of what was happening further up the hill where a farmer was towing cars with his tractor to the top of the long steep hill.

When it was almost our turn to be towed by the tractor locals gave us a push start to get as far up as we could. While I was being hooked up to the tractor the father from behind tried to give the tractor driver some cash to thank him for his work. But it was refused.

At one point when I was talking to the woman a couple of cars ahead she was very worried about having to walk the last few miles home. KFC lives in the same town, he said he would walk her home before continuing the last few miles himself.

Whilst all this was going on I was listening to the local radio in the hope of hearing anything useful. The entire time the only topic was the snow and the traffic problems. There were lots of tales of people helping motorists. Including a couple who had been not only giving motorist a helping push but hot drinks and toilet stop for some. They even gave a bed to an old lady in her 90's who had got stuck. The wife told how they had lost their son in Afghanistan last year and doing their bit to help in this current crisis had suddenly brought meaning back into her husband's life.

Drivers of 4 x 4's including a family friend were giving care workers lifts to work.

These people made what could have been a miserable experience less painful to endure. It is the way people pull together like this in times of crisis that put the Great back into Britain.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Snow happens

Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen here.

Driving to work in the morning I heard on the radio that we were expecting heavy snow by the afternoon rush hour. Yeah right what a laugh ..........we don't get snow here..........even when the surrounding area gets snow it misses this immediate area by the south coast between the Isle of Wight and South downs. On the few occassions that we do get snow it might just cover the ground and be gone again between 12 to 24 hours. (Thats what happened when we had snow a week before christmas).

Heavy snow by the rush hour ............hmmm 4.45 it began to rain .......thats rain not snow not even sleet. Ok so just before we left work at 5 the rain had turned to sleet. Yes sleet but still not snow. Walking out to my car (sorry my mum's car .....I'm using that while shes in hospital), a few lumps of snow were falling. It was my intention to visit my mum at hospital on my way home (but I wouldn't stay long).

Two miles later I knew that this was going to be serious. The snow was laying very quickly, while stuck in very slow moving traffic I phoned mother to say I wouldn't visit. It took me an hour to reach the turn for the road down the hill towards the hospital. I had already seen that each and every turn was blocked with traffic. I could hear on the radio that the motorway was very bad on the stretch between the city and my town. I took the decision (maybe the wrong one) to take the road that goes down the back of the hill rather the south side where the roads off the hill were steeper. (I now know that one of our directors who lies on the south face of the hill skidded into a ditch before walking home.)Within yards of setting off down I was sliding and the brakes were not working. I turned the engine off and steered into a layby at the back of the ship on the hill. there were cars parked along the other side of the road and people milling around, one man asked me if there had been an accident on the top of the hill. I think it was just sheer numbers stuck in the already heavy snow. It had been snowing for about 40 minutes by then. Gradually I made my way down the hill and onto flatter ground where I was able to drive at around 10mph until I joined the queue of traffic trying to get into Wickham.

I had been on the road for 2.5 hours by the time I reached the village. This was when I got out of the car and chatted to the man from the car in front of me. He let me use his phone to call home as I couldn't get through on mine no answer (obviously too busy playing game on ps3). After several repeats of move a few car lengths then stop for ages we reached the junction beside the garage I had to go use their toilet (damn there was a queue). They must have had their best night ever for food if not fuel. Then it was the slow climb up the hill towards my town.I guess I must have been about a 3rd of the way up the hill when we stopped for what seemed like forever.

There were families from nearby houses out telling people what was happening, offering hot drinks, biscuits etc.....they were organising the community centre for people who needed somewhere to stay. Someone was going along the line of cars that hadn't already been abandoned checking to see if they had a 'towing eye'. I had no idea as it wasn't my car. With the help of the men from the cars around mine we discovered that there was one slotted inside the spare tyre pack. This was fitted to the front of the car. By the time I got a push start up the hill as far as I could go it was 10.30pm. When I ground to a stop about 2/3rds of the way up there were just 3 more cars ahead of me then it was my turn to be hooked up to the tractor with instructions to keep it in 2nd gear and drive normally but if I start catching up with tractor just take foot off excelerator. He pulled me to the top of the hill then told me to stay in high gear with low revs and I should be ok.

I got as far as the edge of town where I reached the steep hill that I just knew I shouldn't even attempt, I could see there were no fresh tyre marks on the hill so pulled over to the side. It didn't matter which route I took I had a steep hill to get to home. I was now stuck in deep snow and couldn't move back or forward. So I had gone as far as I could in the car. It was now time to start the plod home. It was 11pm when I started walking and 11.55 when I walked through the door.

Incredibly I didn't feel cold whilst walking even though I was wearing court shoes with a 1.5" heel and going through snow that was over my ankles. I wasn't even wearing socks just knee high nylons under my thin trousers. It was also extremely light. Walking along the ridge I stopped to take a picture of the motorway below where there was a string of lights from the crawling traffic in both directions as far as could be seen. (you might need to click o the image to see it the lights)

There were places where it was impossible to walk on the pavement as trees were so heavy with snow that they were bowed down in some places to the path below.

This morning after speaking to PB (who left work early yesterday because she was ill) the office is shut ......not that I was going to try getting in. I ventured out to the local garage to get milk and bread......there was no bread!! It had started snowing again so I must have looked like a walking snow woman when I got home. Here are a few photos I took this morning.

Sunday, 3 January 2010

I am who I am

Relax ....release .....let go!

I read these words on Mel's blog and it reminded me of something that was said to me last summer.

Remember Dylan ? I saw him a few times during the summer. He was a bit of an oddball but he seemed pleasant enough and he liked kissing me, holding hands and cuddling. So because he liked those things I will forgive him for being a total ummm what can I call him ok I will just say a total Dylan.

Anyway Dylan was a qualified alarm bells should have begun ringing straight away. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being a counsellor after all some of my closet friends are also in that line of work.

He had a knack of getting me to open up. He would say something in an email that would open up the flood gates. I would start writing a brief reply and end up pouring out my soul. It was very cleansing for me and he said that he was glad that I had felt able to tell him the things I did. He said that he often seems to have this effect on women. That's good it wasn't just me then.

During our face to face conversations I would be telling anecdotal tales and would mention something about my ex or my illness etc. He told me that I should mentally put my ex into a box tied with ribbon, place it on a river and let it float away. Ok I can see that this could be useful. But I was not about to do this. I can understand that he was trying to help. He wanted me to forget about my past and move on. Yeah I get that really I do. I also get that he saw my ex as my baggage.

I don't know about you other girls and boys who are dating but a lot of people talk about baggage. Either declarations of not having any or not wanting to meet someone with baggage.

Now I figure that some people might perceive me as having a lot of baggage. Personally I don't think I have any baggage.

I have children (young adults really) but they will never be considered baggage by me, why should any child/young adult be given such a label?

I have a past life .............doh so has everyone unless they just suddenly woke up from a deep coma. If you are the real Sleeping Beauty I apologise for being so dismissive.

I can understand that it could be classed as baggage if events in your past make you bitter. But for me and I would assume most normal people my past is just that 'my past' I don't and won't pretend I don't have a past (even if I prefer not to mention some things). I won't pretend that my life has been easy, that the challenges I have been through didn't exist.

Everything in my past (distant or recent) good or bad, are a part of me. It is the past that has made me the person I am today. The things that happen today or in the near future will shape who I am in years to come. If I hadn't gone through the difficult marriage, cancer, difficult divorce, financial problems, rape or any of the other things that have occurred in my life I would not be the person I am now.

I hope that my past has shaped me into a good, caring, happy individual with a zest for life and a willingness to try many things.

Without the traumas of my past I might possibly be a very shy withdrawn person who lives through her children but has no life as a person, no personality, no sparkle just a drab lump of being.

If my past is baggage then I celebrate my baggage.

Dylan's final words were that I told him too much...........if he didn't want to know he shouldn't have encouraged me to open up so much, so thoroughly, so painfully. I know I am very open, but I have never told any one person so much as I did in those emails (replies to his probing). There were times when I made a simple comment and his reaction was far too deep. He needs to learn not to analyse everything anyone says so deeply and just accept that some things need to be taken at face value. It was his probing and constant analysing of everything I said that led to my revelations that were too much for him.

At the end of the day I am who I am whether you call it baggage or not.

Friday, 1 January 2010

Just how New Years Day should be

After a late night and no I was not out partying I was at home with one of my sons while the others were all out enjoying themselves.

I slept in, had a very vivid dream about Mr Passionate. In which I had sent him no less than 4 New Year Text messages so of course he just had to come and find me. No it was not a naughty dream ...well ok it was naughty if you count the fact that he is married and in this dream he was surrounded by 3 yes 3 former lovers. but the actual content of the dream was not naughty.

When I finally awoke from my slumbers I figured I should email him to wish him a Happy New Year and hope that all is going well in his life since he moved out of the area. I had purposefully not done so last night, I even half thought I might have deleted him from my contacts during my most recent culling of names I no longer speak to.

This led to some blog writing yes this is my second post on here in two days. I have also written posts on all my other blogs ................get the Dr I must be ill. So much writing in one day, I have not done that in a long time.

By lunch time I had decided that today would be what is known as a pyjama day (for me at least). My sons were going to their father's for dinner or was it lunch (3pm) but first the 3 eldest boys went to visit my mother to help her move furniture around to make life easier for her when she comes home from hospital. She goes in on Monday morning (I have to get her there for 7am) for her latest knee op. DC drove them there and later took them to their dad's so I didn't need to get up as I wasn't going anywhere. Once I had finished writing and reading blogs I ran myself a hot soapy bath and managed to relax among the frothy bubbles for 40 minutes.

I am now dressed, even bothered to put on make up and jewellery, my curry is in the oven and I am about to paint my nails which I have not done for months (probably before the summer). No I am still not going anywhere but who says I can't dress up and look my best just to lounge around indoors with my sons who have now returned home.

Bliss playing on the radio and a glass of spiced rum and coke at the ready.