The wonder of Facebook

I was going to write a post about my day with Plumber, I was also going to write about my trip to The Cotswolds but before I can write either I feel compelled to write a very different post.

Along with quite a few of you I have a profile on facebook. I don't use facebook all that much, I have phases. Mostly in recent months I merely look to see what my friends have been upto, write a comment but don't get involved with all the application. I did though do the quiz to see what chocolate I was seeing as Queen Vixen had already done this one and was shown to be a snickers bar how could I resist. I am a twix bar apparently.

Through facebook I can keep up with what some of my blogger pals have been doing like Dani whilst she has been in australia although she hasn't been blogging much she has been posting comments and photos of her trip on facebook.

Recently I have had a fair number of friend requests from people I had lost touch with in my real life. A couple I knew before I met my husband for example. A woman I was very close to when our children were at the play group stage.

Today I had a new request from a woman I was very close to for years from when her son was two (he turned 19 this week). This woman is incredible. If I have had a tough life hers has been twice as tough. At the turn of the century she was just beginning to get a normal life back after a number of years helping to care for her mother who has been severly disabled both mentally and physically since a brain haemorage when she was in her early 40's. Her 10 year old son became very ill (he had lukemia). But even though she was caring for her sick mother and her very sick child as well as managing to cope with a pre school child, she still found time to talk me through my cancer.

We lost touch a couple of years ago when her marriage was in trouble, her husband blamed me. I was very worried about my friend but felt it best to keep out of the way until she felt it was safe to make contact. Today I was so very pleased to hear from Abbie, we have exchanged some very long emails catching up on each other. Abbie is the most caring and genuine persone I have ever known. I have just worked out that she has just turned 40 this month but she has so much worry and stress in her life I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the rest of her life the happy stress free life she so deserves.

Whilst I was catching up with Abbie I discovered that I had accepted another request, this time from a man. I don't remember accepting him. I have found a couple of friends that I don't recall accepting. I only accept people I know or who know my friends. Tonight I was looking at this name it dawned on me that this name was familiar so I checked the profile. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I do indeed know who this man is. We even dated once 18 months ago. I did think this must be a mistake as the last time we had contact was a very strange affair. I am not sure if I explained on here how our brief relationship came to a very abrupt and definite end.

On his profile he has two friends (one of them being me). I wondered if he had realised who I was. I sent him a brief message saying that I was very suprised. He has replied asking if I still live in ******* so it appears that he does know its me. Well I wonder why he has decided to make me his first friend and why now.

It seems that Skipper has joined the list of men I used to know, who are turning up out of the blue. Knight, Forest, Bovril (aka Married Man) and now Skipper.

Nothing!!

Reading a post on nitebyrd’s blog at the weekend reminded me that I never did tell you what happened to Coach who was going to be the big romance back in January. He was a fairly local divorced man my age. He had worked as a manager at the very big factory/distribution place next door to my workplace, but this had been demolished and relocated further down the coast a few years ago so we were in fact passing each other on the motorway each morning. He seemed to be a genuinely caring man and what we found we had in common was the time we have both spent following our son’s football teams. He also coaches in another sport in his spare time. Yes you guessed it, that’s where he got his name from.

I was playing it real cool, taking my time to reply to his emails and text messages, none of which had any sexual overtones. It was refreshing to talk to a man who didn’t seem to be ruled by sex. We had lots to talk about without that. He rang me a few times and seemed nice. We arranged to meet for a drink after work on a Tuesday evening. However before that he rang me on the Sunday inviting me for an impromptu drink at a hotel mid way between our homes.

We had a very nice drink and chat, after a while he began to touch my hand in a nice gentle understanding way. Until eventually he just took a hold of my hand. As described here we then went back to his house. As we were drinking our tea he became very amorous which I hadn’t expected. This was after all the man who had never been the slightest bit sexual in any of our exchanges. I was enjoying his kisses but when his hand wandered to my zip and into my jeans I started to resist even saying no a few times but he wore down my resistance, besides what did it matter if I gave in now as this was the start of something really good. Hadn’t he just mentioned treating people as you want them to treat you, hadn’t he been asking how soon we should think about meeting each other’s children. This was not some seedy one night(day) stand. So, when he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. I just followed secure in the knowledge that this was only the first of many times.

In his bed he was having trouble keeping hard so I took things into my own hands and of course my mouth. Soon he was very ready for action, I was careful not to show off just how wonderful I am and just kept things nice and simple. He suggested trying a different position but I just stuck to the tried and tested good old faithful missionary. Out of nowhere he asked…………

Do you do this often?

I ignored his question. Later we were dressed and back downstairs snuggled together on his sofa and he asked me if I would still be ok for Tuesday as he really wanted to see me again soon. He took me back to my car and we kissed goodbye.

Later I emailed him to say thanks for a very nice time but that I was concerned that he seemed to think I did this often. I didn’t get a reply. I figured he was busy with his children. Monday came and went, nothing! I sent him a text that just a simple x.
Tuesday, the day we were due to meet again, still nothing. Two and a half months later I have still heard nothing from him. I decided not to send any further text or emails. He was obviously not the charming man I had thought. He was obviously a cold calculating good for nothing low life.

I could have let this and my earlier experience with Skipper make me cynical about all men. I didn’t, I became wary but not too cynical. Yes I know I should still be careful. Things are going very well with Romeo other than that we still have not met yet due to his work keeping him out of the country. I trust him 95% but I still keep one eye and ear watching out for any clues that he may not be who and what he says. If it turns out that I got it wrong yet again then so be it I shall just shrug my shoulders and move on again. Life is too short to be afraid to live it. I am taking a giant leap of faith with Romeo but I trust him not to let me down. We talk for hours every night now. He is as hooked on me as I am on him. I know it won’t be too long now before we are together. Having said that after all these weeks it seems impossible to think that it will ever be any other way for us. Anyway I must post this now as Romeo will be online soon and I don’t want to waste any time that we have.

Dilemma and decisions

After weeks of not being able to get online I now find that I have so much to say that I don't know where to start.

I really should tell you what happened with Skipper. This you can read about here. It also tells most of the story about Harvey. Harvey was an unexpected diversion that lasted a few days only.

Yesterday I arrived home from work to find that the house was empty. DC was in London with his G/F. ET was in the city with his mates whilst JA and OJ had gone into town with their dad. (He had promised them lunch, what they got was cheesy chips at one of the town centre pubs). Anyway I took the opportunity to go online. I noticed that a man I had not chatted to for a while was online. I sent him a xmas wish, not really expecting a response. But to my surprise he started chatting, we had met in summer 2006 but only chatted a few times since. To my surprise he has not forgotten much about our encounter. By the end of the conversation we had agreed to meet up next friday morning. I am in two minds about this, yes it would be nice to see him again he was lovely. but he is married! I am not sure that I want to go down that road again. He has said he will IM me in the next few days, I am half hoping that he doesn't, but he is gorgeous.

I was surprised this morning to get a text out of the blue from Sammy. He had gone very quiet for a while. He apologised for not being in touch saying that he has been very busy.A few days ago I mentioned that out of boredom I had joined a text talk line, I have not got around to cancelling it so every now and then I get a cluster of text messages from different men. At the start of the week I got a message from Dave, his message included his mobile number. I was at work at the time but did reply in the early evening from my reserve phone (not sure why I used that phone). He didn't reply, but later I got a text from an unknown number.

Who is that?

more to the point who is this? very few people have this number

mate in the pub gave me the number and told me to text it

who is your mate?

hes not a mate just a man I know in the pub. He calls himself Larry.

Ok what town/city are you in?

to cut a long story short the man who had text me originally had given my number to this guy who I call LOL because he was bored. We have continued to text each other for the last 4 evenings.

Some of you might remember back in the spring when I wrote this well now I am having a similar problem. Why do there have to be so many married men amongst my friends?

driving around

not heard from Skipper since friday eve

spoke to Harvey sat morning we decided to go ten pin bowling in the aftenoon. He has never been before so the first thing he did was fall over, while I was falling about laughing. We had two games and won one each so had to have a decider which he won. then it was down the road for a walk along the beach (that lasted all of 5 minutes as someone was a wimp and thought it was too cold). A cuppa in a local cafe to warm up then he hands me the keys to his new car (he had only had it 24 hrs) and we head off up the hill its dark by now and the view over the city is great. He has only ever been there during daylight before. After an age he leans in for his first kiss, wow he knocks the wind out of my sails. snogging must have been about half an hour, before we set off again so I can go feed my youngest. Once I have fed JA , made myself an omelete had a shower and got back outside to where he is waiting hes been asleep in his car. I drive us to his loft conversion bedsit to watch a dvd. not sure if we had watched half of the movie before we got distracted. It is now 8.25am and I am using hi computer before I go home.

swings, roundabouts and slides

I hope you can keep up because I am not sure I can!

I have been getting on very well with Skipper this week, we have exchanged a lot of text even during our working day. We have chatted on msn and had some very nice conversations on the phone. I really do enjoy hearing his voice (He says he likes to hear mine too).

He has asked me if we could swing together. I told him that I prefer slides as swings make me nauseous.

Last night when I should have been posting my food diary for the day I was in my bed, door shut, radio on to disguise my conversation as I chatted to Skipper. We chatted about things like work. How our days had been. Then we got down to some very hot mmmmmmmm phone sex. He had told me to make sure I had a towel ready before he phoned. During our chat he made me come 4 times before he felt sleepy. But I didn't mind as it was well past his usual hibernation time. I then had a few more orgasms after he had gone.

Today we have been discussing what we each want/don't want from this. We have both been in long unhappy marriages. Neither of us want a serious relationship. But we need to define what we do want.

Tonight he has been out for a drink with the same friend he stayed with one night last week. Tonight I went out for a drink with a different man (Harvey). I began chatting to Harvey online last week. He lives in the next town to me but doesn't know the area too well as he only moved there a few months ago. This afternoon Harvey came online chatting. He was asking me of all people about the local night life. Then he asked me where I was taking him tonight.

huh cheeky

who me lol

are you asking me to meet you tonight?

in a long about way yeah

lol

ok

o ok shock

so we arranged to meet 3.5hrs later. He picked me up from the next road, so that I didn't have to drive. we had a nice time drinking (me on smirnoff ice hom on J2O) and chatting and agruing. I mentioned saggitarius he swore that it was capricorn. We argued over it for ages. He was trying to convince me that as his birthday is 1st dec he is capricorn. but I was dead certain it was Saggi. eventually to check this out I decided to text a friend. (50/50 was no good) I didn't fancy asking the audience. I thought of sending a text to Vi but I figured she would be out having fun so I text pixie (thanx for backing me up). He still tried to convince me that both Pixie and I had it wrong. It was 12.30am by the time we got kicked out of the pub and his new car (only got it today) was already frosted over. He drove me home and we chatted for a bit longer. He has asked to see me again. I thought he was going to try to kiss me but he didn't. I needed the loo again!! so had to rush off so I don't know if he would have kissed me or not. He has just been online asking if he can phone me tomorrow.

After spending an evening with me giggling like mad he now thinks I am one very crazy woman. He kept saying ........what are you like eh?

He was very easy to spend an evening with but I didn't feel sexually drawn to him.

How quickly things change

I started this week really miserable, but now I am happy.
I started this week not knowing where I stood with Skipper.
I started this week flat broke.
I started this week in floods of tears.

I went to the gym on monday with the idea of working hard at getting rid of my frustrations.
While I was there I discovered that my hard work has started to pay off I had lost 2.5lb in a week.
I text Skipper to find out where I stand. He made it clear that he does want to be with me. He has some important things to sort out first.
I managed to find enough money to get some electricity.
I managed to make DC realise that he must pay me back the money he has borrowed.

As the days have passed Skipper has been texting me allowing my confidence in him to grow.
Today my boss called me into the conference room to tell me that I shall be getting a pay rise in January. I am also getting a bonus in my November pay. You have to be there for a year to get the bonus but they decided to give me a bonus anyway. My boss also said that I am worth more than the job I am doing. (I knew that, which is why I had said I would only do it short term). This gave me the courage to say that I am now ready to work full time if she wanted to consider me for the sales job. I said I think I could do it, she said she knows I could. I have to hand in my CV, but she said the other applicants just have admin background not sales. My advantage being that I have been working for the sales team and picked up quite a lot as I have gone along.

While I was feeling pleased with myself I got an unexpected phone call from a man with a lovely gentle voice. which reminds me I must get offline as I ahve a date with that voice and my bed.
goodnight xx

every cloud has a silver lining

I was miserable before but I was even more miserable today.

I woke up with a bad neck/shoulder pain. I figured that after I eventually fell asleep sometime after 2.30am I must have lain badly. But as the day wore on and I could feel exactly where the pain was coming from it occurred to me that I may have strained a muscle as I tried to intervene in a fight between two strapping boys late last night. I don't normally interfere in their scraps but this one was bad is was like a fight to the death type of battle. They have not done this for a very long time, probably a couple of years. But of course this time they are so much bigger OJ is more than 14 stone and JA is no light weight himself.

so I spent the day having to turn my whole body every time someone behind me was saying anything. It also hurt to move my arm too much in front of me as I keyed in my work.

My biggest headache though has been money as per usual. DC finally got the money he was waiting for at the weekend. He hasn't told me that he has got his money, he told his father who then told OJ as he thought I should know. DC has avoided me for 99% of the time. However he did come in and cook himself some dinner on saturday evening before going to see his girlfriend. I asked him to take the gas meter card to put some money on it, I also asked him to collect ET from the station for me at 9.30pm. He agreed to both. ET walked home oblivious to the idea his brother should have given him a lift. when DC came in he hadn't got the gas card topped up he had left it too late......he promised to do it on sunday morning before his band practice. He went out very early.........by 11.30 I was livid that he was off out for the day with the gas card so that even if I managed to get some money I couldn't do anything without the card. I couldn't phone him as he hasn't paid his phone bill again!! So I found his mate J's home number and rang his mother, she gave me J's mobile number. I rang J who told me they had just parked at the back of the house and DC had been to the garage to top up the card he was bringing it in. By the time I got downstairs he had been and gone. I have not seen or heard from him since!

He did not come home last night. I knew he was going to be in Brighton all day today giving performances at a music college in preperation for their tour which begins tomorrow and ends on friday 30th nov. They are touring around the country with two other bands. this morning I text J to tell DC to bring money here that he owes me and OJ as the electricity would have run out before I got home from work and I will need money for fuel by tomorrow let alone milk etc.
I have not heard from him. No money has been either left in the house or transferred into my bank account. If he comes home tonight he had better have the money or he won't be going on tour even if it means I put him in hospital ( I don't mean that but I am that angry. when I got home from work the electricity meter was down to the last 7p. I had been worrying all day about not having any electricity tonight. we could light candles to give us some light but I couldn't cook anything and I couldn't even go out for chips. as it happened I had left some money in my pocket the other day and the coins had collected in the rubber of the washing machine door. I got some electricity :-)

I have spoken to Skipper and feel much better about that situation now too. I won't go into details but he does want to see me. I told him that I have been to the gym and when I weighed myself after my work out I had lost 2.5lb since last monday.......so I shall heed Skipper's words

'Don't worry ...be happy' which is one of my mantras

I am begiining to feel more cheerful again

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getting it together

well I managed to stock up with food. It cost more than usual because I am on a fat free diet. The food I need costs a little more than I had been buying, but hopefully it will not only help me to lose weight but get the boys into better eating habits too. I even bought a pack of cous cous which I have never previously wanted to try. I don't know if I will like it but unless I try it I won't know.



This afternoon I had an appointment to see my GP about the gall stones that were found when I had my ultra sound scan a few months ago. My GP says that 15% of people have gall stones with no ill effects so unless they become inflamed and cause me pain they are not worried. He also confirmed that my last set of blood tests had been much better but as one of my kidneys was slightly inflamed when I had the scan I need to have yet another blood test in the next couple of weeks. We discussed my migraines, he was concerned that my HRT might be making them worse but I assured him that if anything they have improved in the last few years (less frequent).



Tonight I am off to watch my boy get his GCSE certificates at a special presentation night. While we are there ET has gone with friends to another college open evening. Obviously I couldn't go with him this time. It is times like this when being a single parent becomes so difficult, not being able to be in two places at once.



Since I saw Skipper on Sunday we have been texting each other intermittently every day even whilst at work. We have also chatted on msn and phone mmmm that gets very hot. Today he text me asking



'when are we going to get together and where'



Now I know he has said that he is looking for a long term relationship but I want to be sure that he isn't just after one thing. I have made it clear more than once that I am not looking for casual sex. so I am not going to just hand it to him on a plate.



'If you are lucky I might allow you to take me out at the weekend'



'if you are lucky I might be free'



' :-{ I am never lucky'



lets see if he misses me this evening whilst I am out. I shall text him to say that I am going out and turning my phone off.










update : OJ got an award for coming top in the whole school for his maths GCSE. After the presentations the head of the maths dept stopped OJ, he said that OJ got 400/400 in his final maths exam which is something he has never seen anyone do before.

Now I feel such a bad mother. I turned my phone off for the presentation and forgot to turn it back on again. ET was phoning me for a lift home, he had been walking for hours from one campus to another and back again. He collapsed on my bed saying his legs ache so much he cant walk any more. He had hoped I would give him a lift back from the station about 1 1/2miles uphill.

my date

He called me just as I was leaving home to ask what I was drinking. As I walked into the bar there he was stood with my smirnoff Ice beside him so I didn't have to wonder if it was him. He is shorter than I expected but still tall compared to my mere 5'0". He had already decided we would grab the table in the far corner. I had taken some of my writing with me to show him. We talked about my writing and what it needs to make it better. All the time he was holding and stroking my hands. At one point he asked for a kiss which was very nice. After a few hours of chatting and holding hands we walked back to my car. He helped me on with my coat and carried my folder while holding my hand as we walked.

As soon as we were in my car he was kissing me passionately. We drove off and found somewhere a little more private to kiss than under a street lamp in the middle of a public car park overlooked by the local police station. Soon I had got him back to the station to catch his train, we kissed goodnight. Later we were texting again, then he went quiet. It seems he last text got delayed as I didnt receive it until 2.30am.

He has been texting me all day.

some how I think I will be seeing him again. (for the moment I am going to refer to him as Skipper)