Thursday, 15 May 2008

Real Life readers

This feels a little strange. It was confirmed to me today that I am being read by someone in my RL. In the past my blog has been read by some of my lovers/potential lovers, this has not bothered me in the slightest. The only one that bothered me was N. He found my blog Battle to find myself after I had finished seeing him. Of course he read my thoughts about not being happy with him, he felt that I had made a fool of him because everyone knew who he was. In fact only one person I talked to (Forest) knew about him and which town/city he lived in (not the same as mine). N even spoke to Forest online one day when he was staying here and I was chatting to Forest he decided to get in on the act and wind poor Forest up (at this time it was still several months before I met Forest). N was the reason I started my second blog Kindred Perverts and took on the persona of Sexy Vixen. N was also the reason I made both blogs private for a while when he was trying to black mail me. What ever did I see in that man?


I did find that it had an effect on my writing when I was seeing Forest knowing that he had been reading my blog since it began. Sometimes I found myself writing things especially for his benefit even though I was never sure whether he had read it or not as he reads on and off rather than regularly. Other times I censored what I wanted to write because I wasn't sure I could be completely honest whilst Forest might be reading it. Then I set up this blog with the idea of dedicating it to Forest for his birthday, it consisted purely of posts that were about him.


Until there came a time when I decided to have a change in direction this coincided with my decision to stop reading a couple of blogs by women who I had been friendly with until the day I accused one of being a bully to one of my other friends. Luka recognised this as being aimed at her and decided to go overboard in her defence of herself. I took this in my stride refusing to be drawn into any arguments but when she decided to rehash the whole thing again I decided it was time to cut the ties with her and one or two of her followers. Its was on this very blog that I had my public bust up with Forest which led to him leaving a few comments for the first time.


Now another RL person is reading my blogs. This person is not a current or former lover. This person is not someone I have ever met in person. We speak fairly regularly and we even exchange emails. I am a little embarrassed that this person has been reading some of the more intimate things I have written. I was somewhat alarmed this evening when I discovered that one of the first things this person read was this post about texting JJ. He has also read this little fantasy that I wrote after a text comment from Forest. If he was someone I didn't know it wouldn't worry me. The fact that we speak in RL doesn't over worry me, but he knows my Boss and some of my colleagues, now that could be interesting. I guess that I am just going to have to trust this person who I think has chosen his own name. (First person to ever do that). How did he tell me what he wants to be known as? I received an email this afternoon (from one LV to another). I took this to be his way of not only telling me that he has read my blog but also that he would prefer to be known as LV.

11 comments:

Mel said...

Oh boy..... Let's hope for Mr. LV to be an honourable person.
Elsewise.....things could get very messy, very fast?

Lady in red said...

Mel my Boss and Bob both know that I write they have even read some of my writing but only selected bits of fiction. Bob knows that I blog I have even shown him the comments everyone was leaving when Vi did her guest post for me when my home internet wasn't working back in November (but at that time I was still a temp and I didn't know I was going to be staying in the job). Whilst Bob likes what he has read he isn't interested in finding my blog. My one reservation is that LV will now have access to everything I have written both real and fiction.

Mei Del said...

how much about bob do you really know? and from what you know - do you feel you can trust LV. I take it you don't want anymore people in RL to know about your blog. Then you should maybe have a chat with LV in RL and tell him how you feel. otherwise ... things may go the VI way - just bear in mind how she did it ...

Mei Del said...

i meant how much abt LV do you really know - i initially thought Bob was LV, err duh!

having my cake said...

There are three people in RL that I know read my blog but they are all people that I trust implicitly. I have been very careful to try to keep the two worlds separate. Im not sure how comfortable I would be with someone I was not close to in RL finding it. It's a bit like having someone read your diary. I think Id be tempted to do a Vi or have a separate passworded blog for anything really personal.

Vi said...

Wow, it's amazing how we can go through similar things at the same time.

LOL at 'doing a Vi!'

Cake has the right idea, instead of 'moving' like I had to, maybe have a private blog for the stuff you don't want him, or more importantly, other people who may find out about it, to read (Or just remove the posts you don't feel comfortable with RL reading)

Gypsy said...

I agree with Vi. I would either keep more personal things you wouldn't be comfortable having RL people read on a private blog or just remove personal stuff at least for the time being. It could indeed get very messy.

I have had to take the cautious route myself and for very good reason. Better safe than sorry and the last thing you must want is to censor yourself. That kind of defeats the whole purpose of blogging if you have to hide what you really think.

Good luck with whichever way you choose to go.

Lady in red said...

Ladies thank you all for your advice. At present I have no intention of closing down, moving or going private. I did leave a comment here earlier but it doesn't seem to have stuck (perhaps its this new laptop). Anyway since then I have had an email assuring me that my blog and any other interaction has no connection with work.

I don't think I write anything that could cause me problems. I just write what I am thinking and feeling. I don't have any issues regarding my private life that have to be kept secret as I am a free agent not tied to anyone. I have not told Romeo about my blog but that is not because I don't think he would like what I write, more that he might find it hard to understand why anyone blogs. But if he were to read this he would be fine with it. Perhaps a little embarrassed about my feelings for him that is all.

Lady in red said...

One thing I might do is to trawl trough the archives to make sure I don't have any pictures on here that I would not be happy with anyone new seeing. I think I already did that when I was 'springcleaning' a couple of months ago. but I don't think I ever put much in the way of really embarrassing pictures on here although I can think of one ..I can still remember Vi's reaction at the time. Perhaps Mulder will tell me if it is still there as he checked out all my photos recently.

aka k said...

Bugger...I suppose that means i've missed all the juicy photos..

ps I arrived here via the "morning glory" post, that I thoroughly enjoyed.

pps my blog is currently private precisely because my SO would so not understand my need to blog, however infrequent that might be.

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