To blog or not to blog

I am not sure how much longer I shall continue to blog. In the last year I have seen many of my blogger friends give up blogging. Whilst I am still here I don't blog anything like as much as I have done in the past. Days and sometimes even weeks go by before it even occurs to me to visit blogs. Now that is not how it was, there was a long time when I was visiting blogs several times a day not only to read new posts but to keep up with the comments too.

I think I have changed in the last few years since I began blogging. whether I realised it or not I used blogging as a kind of validation. friends leaving comments meant that people liked reading what I wrote. That made me feel good inside. But now I don't need other people to make me feel good. I feel more confident more worthy without the validation of others. Therefore I write less frequently, which in turn means that less people bother to read my blog and even fewer bother to leave comments. In the past I would have found this hard, but right now I am feeling good about myself and don't need the validation so much.

However I am glad that I have been blogging for the last 3 or is it 4 years as I have made some good friends and I shall stay in touch with those that I can even without a blog. If I don't have your email address and you would like to stay in touch, if I do give up blogging which is by no means certain at this moment in time please feel free to email me at ladyinred62@hotmail.co.uk.

In the last six months I have been feeling closer to my sons than I had been for a long time. We have always had a close bond but now I feel even closer to them even those who are not here. OJ turned 19 on Thursday and returned home on friday, his first trip home by train. I collected him from the station and we joined my mother and friend at a rotary club evening. My boys have been to several rotary quizzes and murder mystery evenings, this one was 'call my bluff'. The panel were brilliant, the food was provided by a local Spanish Restaurant (selection of tapas which I have never tried before). Next weekend I am being taken to a Spanish restaurant (I am wondering if it will be the same one) by a friend of the restauranteur.

I had been feeling on top of the world on Friday until about mid afternoon when a niggly pain in my temple started. For me this meant that although I enjoyed the evening I had difficulty keeping my concentration (especially as I had my back to the stage and had to turn right round). I found myself people watching whilst I half listened to the hilarious (but seriously delivered) definitions of the strangest of words. Being a rotary evening as I would expect the average age of those in attendance were 20 or 30 years my senior. I did notice though how much these people were all enjoying not only the entertainment and each other's company but the food and drink (there are always copious amounts of wine drunk at these events). I noticed that these men and women, mostly retired professionals know how to enjoy life (many are still children at heart giggling and telling jokes). Their lives are so very different from mine, but it made me realise that growing older doesn't mean we have to stop enjoying life. The pace of life might slow down a little but it doesn't have to stop. I hope that I am enjoying life like they do in 20 years time.

is it morning already

I have only been awake for 20 minutes, I can't believe I slept until 10am but I do think I deserved a lie in this morning. I have driven hundreds of miles in the last week, much of it in either slow traffic or on narrow winding country lanes. Although we took 2 cars to Norfolk we only used one during the week and I did 99% of the driving. Mother drove back from petrol station and took herself on a short drive with her camera on Thursday (practice for the long drive home on Saturday).

All week I was waking up between 6 and 6.30am (to glorious blue sky every day except one) yesterday I was busy packing by 6.30 and on my knees cleaning the floor by 8am (the carpet cleaner didn't work so I had to use a small 'soft' hand brush ~ not easy). Having left at 9am we finally arrived home at 3pm. I was hoping to have a sleep for an hour before preparing for a night out with my friends from work.

My car had been unpacked, the mouldy food left in the fridge thrown out and I was preparing to rest when I realised I couldn't find the hand bag I had used all week. I knew it was the last thing I had picked up along with my book (yes I actually read a book ~ first in ages) and keys. I had handed it to one of my sons when I got into the car. Now they all denied having it, I turned out all the remaining bits still in the back of it..............nothing just their rubbish. Eventually ?i found it ............pushed right under the passenger seat.

Time for my rest now while I contemplated what to wear for the party. I had invited Dylan but hadn't had a chance to tell him where or when so I tried calling him, his phone is switched off, switch on laptop and email him. My phone rings but it is my mum, she had passed a car like mine with an Rescue van on the motorway so she was checking that we had got home. (she had wanted to take her time driving home). She was out by our garages so I collected the few things that were in her car.

Now I can rest ..............I was just getting settled when mum rang again. Her foot had seized up as she drove away, she had managed to get herself parked up at our local shops so I had to walk up there and drive her home (keeping her car here over night). By the time I had unloaded her and her luggage, nipped to shops for food, I had one hour to bath, eat and dress ready to go out. It was when I had run the bath while my food was cooking and I was ironing my red skirt that I discovered we had no gas. My bath was freezing cold!!

JA went over the road to get some gas so I could finally have a warm bath, I was just about ready in time phew that took some doing but I hadn't had my sleep. So by the time I got home having had 4 drinks I was somewhat tired. I was nicely merry but not drunk as my boys were saying.......huh what do they know. So I have slept in this morning............now I have to tackle the washing and shopping. But first here are a couple of the many photos I took on our lovely holiday. Boys having fun on the sandy beach just yards from our caravan.

Meercat at Banham zoo

Paddle steamer on the broads at Hinkling

Togetherness

Saturday afternoon and everyone was at home. None of us had any plans to go out. Bolonese was simmering one of the working hot plates. I am trying to be more active by going for walks, and of course taking my camera phone with me. I need to get some photos of all my boys together, a rare occurrence these days. I don't like posed photos so what better than a family outing.

Duck watching

Waiting for mum to cross the stepping stones

Watching

Tranquil

Getting Quizical

Every year the local Rotary Club have their Quiz Night. For the last 3 years I have joined in along with some of my boys. The first year it was JA and OJ, last year they both came along and ET joined us. This time DC came too as he had nothing planned for tonight. Unfortunately although it was her birthday my mum has been poorly today so couldn't join us.

Picture this..................... a junior school hall with 16 tables set up for teams of six. Average age range mid 50's to mid 70's mainly professional/retired professionals. Most tables set up with glasses and bottles of wine. But not table 8...............table 8 was the one used by the Team .......The Mathletics. On this table were plastic cups and bottles of cola oh and my non alcoholic grape drink, a pack of twiglets and a bag of carrot batons.

It was one of those quizzes where teams mark each other's papers then pass them back. The team at the next table were doing badly, we were pleased each time we got a question right that they didn't. There was a sheet of song titles that we had to name the show they were from........I knew a lot of the song titles but not which show they were from...............the 70s section I did get some of the answers right like Equal Pay and Kerry Packer but I didn't know that Maggie T announced that in 1976 Free School Milk would end, neither could I remember who was the Sports Minister made responsible for drought in 96. The question about the end of the monopoly by BBC radio was very very close. I guessed Capitol Radio but that was beaten by London Broadcasting Company a day earlier!!

We would have done better in the music and colour section if we had heard the Quiz master say that we had to put the song title not just the colour in the title. I think from the out cry at the start of the answers to that section probably at least a dozen teams had only written the colour in each title. At least we did have Pink Pantha and Yellow Brick Rd, unfortunately I didn't follow my instinct to write 'nights in white Satin', 'Blue Moon', 'Sweet Georgia Brown' 'whiter shade of pale, just writing the colour only got us half points. It was during this round that ET decided that they should fill in the gaps with guesses. OJ and DC took that one step further and filled in the gaps with daft answers. I have no idea what question got the answer 'Toilet Duck' but the mythical monster that was a womans head with body of a lion was answered with Anne Robinson! The N American landmark that constantly goes backwards became Michael Jackson!

But the team marking our papers were enjoying the sense of humour my boys were showing.

At the end of the quiz we were the only team who hadn't played our joker which would have doubled the points scored on that round. Whilst the table marking our papers came 2nd last we had the honour of being rock bottom although we were applauded for our valiant effort considering that we were disadvantaged by our ages.

we might have come last and earnt the wooden spoon but it was the first time since christmas day that we had been out together as a family (no absentees). The last few months we have been doing more things together which can only be good for all of us.

A special day

Ooooppps we were due to be at mother's by 10am so that we could open presents before heading off for our dinner. But I only woke up when DC came looking for wrapping paper and sticky tape at 9.45am. It was time to leave the stockings for the boys as I had fallen asleep before them at about 2.30am.

No time for the bacon bagels we had planned to have. By the time we reached mother's it was 11am so we just had time to open a few prezzies, including the now infamous wii which the boys loved, I needn't have worried about that. DC gave me this lovely fluffy white hooded dressing gown. ET and JA gave me a new handbag and a necklace with matching earrings.

OJ gave me a laptop bag

the boys got my mum a digital picture frame. They seem to have got really good prezzies for each other this year.

We arrived at the restaurant just as they opened the doors. We had to go down two flights of steps to a room with just three tables set up. But how many people can say they views like this whilst eating christmas dinner in UK.

The meal was lovely, the boys were good company we all had a lovely time.

No one thought much of my idea that we go for a walk along the beach, probably because only two of us had coats. So we returned to mum's to finish opening presents.

watched by santa

Here he is guarding my bottle of baileys and electronic dictionary. By 5pm everyone was ready to return home, within minutes the wii had been set up. I have already played a couple of games against JA.

So now I have told you about my day what did you do on this day that we have been preparing for over the last two months.

Worlds End and back again

On a lovely bright and warm sunny Saturday late morning/early afternoon in October what better way to spend my time than driving along country lanes. Heading north then at the first village taking the left fork now heading north west uphill through a wooded area before plunging back down hill through open fields and several more villages until I reach the one with the abbey ruins. Swinging around the roundabout back towards home. On the drive back I begin my mission. Stopping at numerous pubs and asking the question, each time getting the same answer. Back at the first village turning east now back on the road I can't help remembering holding hands with Romeo as he drove on that hot summer day. But it isn't long before I turn off that road heading north again along lanes travelled with Swinger more than two years ago. Finally my destination, World's End the location of the hostelry where I first met My Knight. This time the answer I was hoping for.

But it is such a lovely day I shall just try a few more, heading south now through places I know the names of but don't know the roads. I just drive going first this way and then that, not knowing where each road will lead me until I find myself driving into the northern end of the borough where I work. I Havant a clue how I managed to get to there, thinking I was further west than I obviously was. Getting my bearings I head west again but this time on roads I know, stopping at the Asquith Arms again receiving a negative answer.

Time is getting on now and I still have things to do so stopping in the town centre gathering up the objects required to make the imminent 18th birthday appreciated, plus some ointment for me from the pharmacy. Walking through the pedestrian area away from the main shopping area to the Golden Pantha again receiving the positive answer I had been seeking. I am now weary and set off back home with my shopping and two menus for christmas lunch on christmas day. both at £49.50 per head that will be £300 for our xmas lunch!!!

But mother (who is currently galavanting in Cardiff prior to her op) says thats ok. It will serve to be a joint celebration, Christmas, OJ's 18th birthday in a few days, DC's 21st in early Feb and also JA has his birthday in December and ET will be 17 in January. Instead of going out to celebrate each of these birthdays we can combine it with Christmas.

At the moment it appears as though my instinct to choose the second candidate for the job seems to be working out. She started on Monday and is getting stuck in.

Oh and on my drive around the countryside today I noticed a garage where unleaded fuel was down to 99.99p per litre the garage across the road from here is down to 102.99p when I alst bought fuel last sunday it was 106.99p so it does look as though prices have come down somewhat. Now let start seeing that reflected in other parts of our economy.

I believe love blooms here

A funeral and then a wedding within 48 hours



My Grandpa (thats the name we used) or Grandpa Bill as he wanted us to call him Bill once we became adults but we just couldn't drop the Grandpa bit. He will be cremated on Friday at 3.15, it will only be a small gathering, my mum and me of course, both my brothers and their wives. My Grandpa's late partner G (they never married although they were together for 21 years until she was claimed by Cancer) younger son. My Brother D will be giving him a lift as although in his time he was a professional driver, even chauffeur to the stars (often Alan Titchmarsh) R is now almost completely blind in his early 60s. Possibly Rose (Grandpa had a soft spot for G's hairdresser) she became a close friend of his in the last few years,with her husband.



SF has expressed a wish to be there if I allow him, I have agreed on the proviso that he doesn't drink. My eldest son DC automatically made arrangements to have time off work, no question of not being there. JA my baby has also said he would like to attend. I will have to tell the school to let him out early. There may also be one or two people from the Nursing home, but there won't be anyone else, he has out lived his friends and older family. There is still a cousin who is in his 90s still living in East Anglia, they have not seen each other for many many years.



My mum was meant to be going away for a few days on Thursday, she and her friend Vee were going to Norfolk from Thursday until Sunday morning. Vee's husband M was due to pick me up (not literally but by car) sunday morning so that we could join them at a hotel not far from Norwich. Because at 3.30pm on sunday our mutual friend 'garden fairy' is getting married. We would stay the night in the hotel and make our way home again on monday. I booked the day off from work way back in March. Now that Grandpa has died and his funeral is on Friday mum and Vee have cancelled their short break. Garden fairy has said she would understand if we didn't want to go to the wedding. But we have both said we will be there with bells on. After all didn't I just spend my week's leave searching ebay for suitable clothing to wear for this special occassion.



The reason I call the bride 'garden fairy' is that when I was very ill back in 2001, I was not strong enough to work on my garden. GF would arrive at random times over the weekends and some evenings to tend my garden for me. She worked full time in a senior management post, has suffered for years with back problems, but she wanted to do this for me. She never told us she was there, she never wanted anything for her work. It would only be when someone saw her through the window or went to the door and found her crouched over my flowerbeds that we knew she was there. A few years ago GF and her elderly mother moved back to Norfolk where she had grown up. Not long after she moved she met a lovely semi retired man who has been a breath of fresh air in her life. I have met the groom a couple of times in the last couple of years and know that these two people are so well suited that it shows that even middle aged women can have their fairytales come true. They give me hope and inspire me, with belief that life can be good, you don't have to be young to be happy.



So on sunday we will be setting off early to attend Garden Fairy's wedding. She is such a lovely lady she deserves this happiness. Joking the other day I said to my mum that we have the wedding and the funeral all we need now is a baby. That was when she said, 'did you see the email from AD'? It seems that the one life for another cycle is repeating itself. A few years ago my mum's only brother died suddenly in a road accident in Texas where he had lived for many years. His adopted daughter from his second marriage gave birth to her first child 2 weeks later. Since then she has had 2 more sons, her latest email was to announce that she is expecting her 4th child in a few months. So now we have all three.