Naughty Lady

Oh dear I have been a bad Lady
I have been neglecting my blog
Is it because I have been playing happy families ........... No not really
Is it because I have been busy with my love life..............No although Oxo rang me last night
It is because I have become addicted
I have found something that has taken me by suprise and taken me over
Oh I did write a post on here on friday but ET decided that he was going to use the computer and logged me off while I was getting a drink
I have not been completely out of communication in the last week
I have chatted to several bloggers by text or msn
I have also chatted to Harvey, Fireman Sam and Oxo not forgetting Neptune
but what has taken me over
Facebook!!
I got sucked into it a few months ago just dipping in every now and again not really figuring it out
But over the last few days I got chatting to some guys on an application called Flirty
yes I was doing what I know how to do flirting
One guy (Hector) has chatted so much that on friday night we chatted and chatted until at 4.30am I figured there was no point in going to bed
we were still chatting at 9.45am when I had to go out
But we didn't chat again until sunday because I was so tired the rest of saturday that I was sleeping until I started being sick (same bug my baby had xmas day and OJ on friday)
today sunday it has taken me all day to catch up with all the invites I have been gettig from my new friends.
So I apologise for neglecting my friends on here but I have been having fun

I dont know where I am............ but thats ok

I have tried unsuccessfully not to think about forest too much while he is away.
I have tried to occupy myself
I have tried to remove him from my mind
I have tried searching dating sites for someone to replace him
I have chatted on msn
I have had text conversations
I have exchanged emails

I have not been frantic
I have not been in a panic
I have not been throwing myself at every available man
I have not been totally good
I have not been terribly naughty either
I have not kept Forest from my mind

In the past week I have had offers
Oxo asked me to visit him and stay over I declined
Fireman Sam has hinted and I said maybe
Fireman Sam has even asked me to play with him I declined
Rusty has teased me with his text
Rusty has requested a repeat of our previous meeting I can't decide
Do these men think that I am avoiding them personally

I want to keep occupied
I dont want to think
yet I feel disinclined to accept these offers
it isn't that I have gone off sex
It isn't that I am saving myself
I just don't feel in a space where sex is everything
I feel as though these offers are something I can take or leave
I am choosing to leave for the moment and just be here
I leave my boys while I indulge in pleasure often enough
for the moment I shall just be here with them

I am not feeling the peaks and troughs that go with passion
I am feeling serene and calm
no need to rock the boat
I am happy just chatting, texting and emailing
I am connecting with friends old and new
just being me

I am trying to work out what I want
I am trying to work out what I dont want
I am lost without emotion
but that is ok

while the cat is away.........

George has asked me if it will be a long three weeks while Forest is away. I have to say that there is the potential for it to be very long. After all I was climbing the walls when I couldn't contact him for 2 weeks. Now I know he is away for 3 weeks it did hurt when I found his message. Not because he is away, I don't begrudge him a holiday, he is very hard working not just in his work but in his private life too. I am assuming that he has taken his children away with him, I could never wish him not to spend time with his children who he cares for very much, this is so obvious when he talks about them. What hurt was the way he told me, but more than anything that he left it until the last minute to tell me. He probably did this for one of two reasons, either it didn't occur to him until the last minute to tell me, then realised that I would go crazy if I didn't hear from him for that length of time without knowing the reason. Or he didn't want to tell me before as he was worried about how I would react to the news that he would be away. I would have reacted much better if he had told me before. I would have like to ask him where he was going what it is like there etc. Now I am wondering if it will occur to him to send me a postcard he had better not say he couldn't as he doesn't know my address. He has been here a few times, I had to give him my address for him to find my house.

Anyway onto the subject of the next three weeks for me.
Ronjazz has told me that I only need to be true to myself not anyone else. He is right and I have to say that my decision to behave myself and nor see others was because that was how I wanted it not because any man had asked me not to see anyone else. All the men I see including Forest are happy for me to see others (or at least thats what they say).So for a few months I saw forest then gradually began to see Oxo again. Then Mr Passionate crept back into bed with me last week. You know that thing the more you have the more you want. Well in the last week I have seen 2 men that I hadn't seen before, I am making plans to see Thomas again. I am due to see another man Rusty this week also. Although we have not met already we began chatting last year and did arrange to meet at one point but his business meeting over ran and we just never got around to rearranging the date until now. So far from crying myself asleep every night I think maybe I shall be too busy to worry too much about what was his name again?

Dark master has plans to have me spanked when his sex slave comes over from Canada. He has spoken to her about it and they want to make my fantasy story 'her suprise' come true. Rusty has plans for me to be tied and teased. I am sure that in the next few weeks I shall see both Oxo and Fireman Sam my fuck buddies. Thomas is organising time to see me, we have agreed that the fantasy of the knight and his lady is over. This is now an illicit affair between two real people. He is concerned that as he is as good as married I will give him the bums rush (that is not what I have planned for his bum). So I think while the cat is away this mouse will be playing hard and may even be too knackered to see him on his return.