Being pro active

I wouldn't want to go through the last week again in a hurry.

Nearly everyday I received at least one new statement from the TCO (tax credit office). Each day the amount of my alleged over payment was mounting. There is absolutely no way that I could both pay my rent and feed my family on the money I was left with. By wednesday I had no cereal, bread or milk left in the house, under £1 in my purse and not enough fuel to get to work and back. I managed to concoct some food for my evening meal but didn't manage to keep it down. I had earlier been thinking about taking a day off on Thursday because I needed a break. But I had decided to have the day off on Friday instead and make it a long weekend. But now that I was poorly I was forced to stay at home on both Thursday and Friday.

I spent a lot of Thursday and Friday in tears. It has been a long time since I was so down. But even though I was feeling so very low, I was determined not to just accept the situation. Letters were written to TCO and my local MP with a further copy being emailed to Tessa Jowell in her role as HM Paymaster General. Time was spent scanning all the statements onto the computer. I applied for and was accepted for a top up on my personal loan (with my monthly repayments increasing by just £7). I felt so much better for being pro active. I don't know if I can over turn or perhaps reduce the alleged over payments but at least I have tried to do something about it.

During this time I have also had some long heart to heart emails with a guy I have been in contact with for a few weeks. The upshot of all this is that he disagrees with all the advice that women have about men. The main thing being that women should just be themselves and not give the impression of being too strong. Strong women scare men away, men like to feel protective. I know he is right, my friend PB and her husband of more than 20 years split for this very reason. He felt he wasn't needed by his strong independent wife.

Talking of men, there has been a very unexpected twist in the tale. Two years ago I was seeing Forest but so infrequently that I was also seeing Oxo. Not long after my bust up with Forest I alo stopped seeing Oxo. It did take some time before he accepted that I wasn't going to be persuaded to see him any more. I had decided by then that I was ready to have a proper relationship. Oxo told me that he would wait for me. I knew he liked me a lot, but he wasn't interested in having a relationship.

On Saturday night I had been reading a message on one of the dating sites when I saw a photo that I recognised. It was Oxo, I sent him a very brief message using the code word we had used . Although he didn't recognise the photo of me with my glasses he knew straight away that it was me. A couple of emails and phone calls later he was telling me that he had thought we had something special before I went off and found myself a romance. He wants me back but I told him that I am only looking for a relationship not just a casual fling. We have agreed to give it a try. I don't know how this will pan out but only time will tell.

drinking on my soap box

In the media they have been talking about government plans to introduce minimum prices for alcohol. I can understand the idea behind this is to cut binge drinking in England.



Personally I don't agree with this idea. The theory is good but theories like this don't work when applied to humans. The idea that if alcohol costs more then binge drinkers will drink less is very good as a theory. In practice it will only work on those who don't drink heavily. Those of us who are light drinkers will probably drink less especially in this current economic climate. This will result in pubs losing business and many will close. Presently the UK sees 22 pubs close every week. In my own neighboorhood I know of several that have closed and even been knocked down in the last few years.



The group of drinkers that the government is trying to target will not stop drinking because the price has gone up. They will probably moan about the new prices. They might even declare that they will drink less because of it. But the reality is that they drink because they have a chemical imbalance in their bodies, they can't function without the alcohol. These people will still drink the same quantities of alcohol, they will still be a burden on our health and police systems. What they will do is buy the alcohol even though it costs them more but to pay for the increase they will reduce what they spend on other things, clothes, food, utility bills, perhaps even their mortgage/rent.



Those who will be affected the most by the increased prices are the long suffering families of the heavy drinkers. The families who will be left with even less money to manage on. The mothers who can't buy clothes or food for their children, the families who have to wear a coat to bed because they can't afford to heat their home.



The government is trying to treat the illness of alcoholism the same way it treats obesity from the wrong end. Instead of stopping people from eating or drinking by way of taxes or threats they should be tackling the problems that cause these illnesses in the first place. I don't have all the answers to the problems we as a society have, if I did I would be a politician, but I do know that these current proposals are wrong.