These 5 men

Recently Fire Byrd suggested that I should change my blog name to Ms Enigmatic....... I can't think why!!

Perhaps she thinks I don't tell you enough about the who where and when of whats been going on in my social life recently. You have probably gathered that I decided to keep my options open for a while and not date one man exclusively.

Karma is the man I have been in contact with since December (the first new man in my life since Romeo). But I felt that even though we seemed to be getting on incredibly well it wasn't moving along as much as I would like so I backed off and started dating other men. Communcation between us became sporadic and I assumed that he was losing interest. I now think I may have been wrong about that judging by recent emails and texts. Apparently he has been away with family and work is hectic.

Plumber is the first new man I started dating, we have now been out 5 times. He is very sweet and likes me a lot, I am sure he would do anything for me because ' you are worth it'. For my birthday he is taking me shopping in Chichester (something I have never done).

Golf is the third new man, I have only seen him once so far, he doesn't like to plan ahead but prefers to be spontaneous, he knows about Plumber so knows that he runs the risk of me not being available. He is a busy man with his own business, he too has just returned from working away. He brings out the worst in me, I thoroughly enjoy our verbal fencing. We talk about all manner of things share a very similar sense of humour.

Luigi I have not met but I am still considering it. He is very good looking and drives my favourite X type jag. But there is just something odd. I like to swap mobile numbers once I have agreed to meet but he won't swap numbers until after we meet. He tells me that if I am worried, my son can write down his car Registration number when he picks me up on the corner of the road. We should have gone out last Friday but I called it off partly because I was not sure and partly because I was very tired.

Thomas has been on the edge of my life for some 30 months. I adored him from the very beginning. I adored him more after we had met. He is gorgeous with his soft curls, gentle eyes and sweet smile. He is the object of my lust, a lust that we have shared since the start of our friendship. For so long we tried to repeat our early meetings, then we kept each other at bay as our lives got in the way but never losing contact completely. A few weeks ago I told him that I was back on the market. We agreed that we must find a way to meet again. Last week he invited me to join him in his beautiful home surrounded by woodland, a natural garden with a host of daffodils waving in the breeze beside the meandering river. He is very important to me and always will be but I don't know if we will get many more opportunities together. I don't feel it would be in either of our best interests to see much of each other.

These are the 5 men who each have a place in my life right now.

Room with a view

If I adored him before I adore him even more now!!

explanation is here

On Days like this

Driving home along the motorway tonight I was thinking about how lucky I am. My health is fairly good. (the problems with my leg a few weeks ago a mere memory now).

Some mornings like yesterday everything is painted pastel colours of pink, blue and pale grey as the sun tries to break through the early clouds. To me the pastel colours are beautiful. But having said that so are the bronze tinged colours of mornings like today when the sun has already emerged. Driving home into the sun with the blue of the sea spread out ahead of me as my journey takes me west fills me with joy. It is the warm spring days like today that I love. Everything seems so much better on these warm sunny days.

Work is going well at the moment (it isn't all rosey but close enough). I am enjoying the challenges I have set for myself. I still get frustrated that some people seem to find the simplest things so difficult to understand but for the most part our small team are getting on well.

I have several men in my life although none are serious. There is the sweet Plumber, the more high powered Golf, Luigi (you have yet to hear about him) Kama who has been away but returned today, but also the object of my lust, Thomas.

I feel as though life is good and can only get better.

Out Cold

The rain had started before I left home. I text to say I was running late, but managed to get there just 10 minutes late in the end. I had been there a few times with Mr Green.

My date for the night was already there waiting. I didn't need to look for him as I saw a man getting out of his car as soon as I had parked.

A glass of red wine later (£8+ for 2 glasses !!) we chatted together easily. All too soon the pub was shutting. We finally got thrown out about 10.50pm. He suggested that we sit and chat in his car for a while. His was nearer to the door than mine and by then it was raining quite hard.

I don't know how long we had been chatting when out of the blue he announced.

'Now I need to kiss those'

That confused me because I wasn't sure what he meant by 'those'.

It turned out to be my lips. So I let him kiss me and then I kissed him. After that it got a bit confusing as to who was kissing who as we got a little carried away and with the windows steamed up and the car park lights now off there wasn't much light. During the kissing he started getting text messages. Apparently from his mother, who he is currently living with since he left his home. She must have been getting quite bothered as the text messages kept arriving at intervals. By the time he drove me to my car I discovered that it was 1.30am. I left him clearing his windows while I drove home to my cold house.

We had run out of gas on sunday night, I had left money with the card for the boys to get some on Monday, they didn't bother so I got some before I went out. The gas was put on the meter but nobody had bothered to turn the gas back on!! So when I got in from my night out I was freezing and I was still freezing in the morning until I had gone down stairs to lie flat on my stomach with my hands under the gas fire pushing and pressing buttons that I couldn't see to get the gas boiler relit. By the time my family had got up the house was warm again.

My date (Plumber) an ex army PT instructor had text me 3 times by lunchtime. He is making plans for our next date, that is if I can fit him in what with Golf and Pete trying to arrange dates as well as Thomas very eager to see me again.

Thinking, teasing, flirting, lusting, seducing, betraying

I have been thinking about conversations


conversations that make me smile


conversations full of lust


conversations that make me cringe


conversations that make me think


conversations that make me deceitful





Percy wrote a post about Teasing, flirting and Seducing. He talked about the difference between the three. This got me thinking about how I behave.


I have always enjoyed teasing my friends. They in turn tease me too.


I have discovered that I enjoy flirting on the phone or online, I take my teasing to another level by being suggestive in my teasing. I have often referred to my job as being paid to flirt. I find it easy to flirt on the phone or online because the person I am flirting with can't see me. He can imagine me to be the perfect sexual woman in his eyes, but more than that I can pretend in my own mind that I am sexy.





Some of my customers flirt with me, Garfield makes lewd suggestions, his conversations are very sexual. Sometimes he gets so involved in this that he forgets the reason he rang in the first place. It is just banter between two people who have met through work, he tells me what he likes, he asks me what I like, sometimes his conversations get too intrusive and I have to tell him that I am not having this conversation. I have noticed recently that I have become uncomfortable with these conversations. It isn't because he makes me uncomfortable, it is because I am changing. Where I had found these conversations amusing I now find them more distatesful. I feel that by having these chats I am being disrespecting of the man who holds my heart.





Earlier in the week I was chatting with Lotto. He told me how much he had enjoyed seeing me last week. He told me how he had wanted me the moment he saw me. I smile to myself as I remember that it hadn't been obvious but then Lotto is good at hiding his desires. Either he is very good at acting cool or I just wasn't looking for the signs. He asks me if I wanted him as soon as I saw him, I am not sure how to answer. I don't want to lead him on by saying yes, but equally I don't want to hurt him by saying no, so I avoid giving a straight answer.





Earlier in the week I had an unexpected chat with Thomas aka My Knight. He is so gorgeous and sexy and unexplicably he desires me as much as I desire him. But our lustathon has changed. we both lust after the other but now he knows my heart is Romeo's. We talk about the impossibility of monogamy. I assert my belief that I can and will be monogomous. It was never a problem for me in the past so I don't believe it will be now. He doesn't believe he would be faithful even if he was getting what he wanted at home. During our conversation it becomes evident that our conversations in the future will never be the same again. How could they be, we have always been so liberal with our expression of lust for each other. I can't do that now and he doesn't expect it. From now our comunications will be friendly but much more chaste than in the past.





Talking to Garfield, Lotto and Thomas has made me realise that I don't feel comfortable talking so intimately with any man other than Romeo.





This brings me to seduction, Romeo is the only man I want to seduce, he is the only man I want to be seduced by. In a way the last few months have been a mutual seduction for us. Long may this continue




I know that many men like Ron wil disagree with me, that talking dirty with anyone other than Romeo is a betrayal, but I am looking at it this way, as harmless banter it is fun but I know I would not be happy if I thought Romeo was talking dirty with other women so I won't do it with other men anymore.

Snippets

LiR its like pillow talk when you answer the phone

Its your fault

So does that mean you are turning me down?

It took me a lot of courage to ask you

Not fallen off the ladder I trust?

You need one of my famous temple massages

Well I understand your situation so I'll leave the ball in your socket

I've done the 'trophy wife' bit, now I want a real woman

internet dating and flirting

I ahve been giving some thought to both internet dating and flirting. I guess to a degree it is because Vi has just begun her adventures with dating on the internet that has got me thinking but it isn't only that. I am registered with several dating sites but when I found Romeo I left a note on each profile saying that I am not currently looking as I ahve found someone who makes my heart sing. I have done this for a couple of reasons.



Partly because I don't want to delete my profiles and then find at some point in the future that I have to set up new ones. But whilst not deleting my profiles I didn't want any potential men wasting their time sending me messages that I wouldn't be replying to. But also I know that N is still on some of the sites and every now and then I get notified that he has been looking at my profiles. I figured that if he thinks I am happy with someone he will leave me alone. I have no intention of ever getting involved with him again so there is no point in us being in contact again. I know that if he thought I was receptive(even though he wouldn't know the word) he would be sending me text and IM messages.



Recently I have hesitated before deleting the emails that tell me I have new matches. I don't open them but I don't delete them straight away. The reason is that a very small part of me is saying it wouldn't do any harm to have a look. You never know who is out there. But as quickly as the thought crosses my mind it is gone again. I know if I go onto the site where I found Romeo the first thing I would do is go to my favourites which tells you the last time your favourites logged onto the site. In the beginning I was constantly looking to see when Romeo was last online. That did help when he went quiet that first time because I could see that he hadn't been on the dating site either so I knew he wasn't just avoiding me. Then I found that my trust in him had grown and I didn't need to keep checking. The last time I did look he hadn't been on there since before my birthday (around the time he was asking me how to delete his profile).



I have not mentioned Romeo much recently because there is not much to say. It is difficult to put my feelings into words. I don't really know what to think or feel at the moment. I don't know whether to be hurt, angry, confused or just simply trusting. I know he has been very ill, I know he has been feeling very low. I know he is often in places that make it difficult to get in contact. I send him emails and text messages but I have no idea how many of them he recieves or when.



Our last conversation was lovely surprise telephone call. He promised to call me again in a few days. He did but I missed it and he left me a voice message (which I have listened to over and over again) hearing his cheerful voice sounding a little unsure what to say when he finds I am not there has helped me over the weeks. after that voice mail I heard nothing from him for almost a week, then I got a text out of the blue telling me thast he was very ill. Another week and another text it was the first day his head had begun to clear, he missed me. Another week and another text he was finally beginning to feel better, he missed me and had been thinking about me. Next day another text should we see if we could meet one evening next week. Now a week later I have heard nothing more.



I don't know what to think. I trust him, I know he hasn't ditched me. I know I will hear from him. I don't need him, to make me happy. I am happy in my life it is all beginning to come together. But that does not stop me wanting him. Wanting the special bond we have built up over the weeks and months. Wanting to see him to touch him to kiss him to make love with him. If I didn't feel this bond with him I would have given up long ago. Some times I feel so disheartened. I don't feel anxious or stressed any more. I know what we have is good, I know he feels it too. I know I just have to be patient. But there are times when I feel as though my patience is wearing thin. I don't know how long I can keep going like this before something breaks. Mr Green says



'I really am impressed at your will power and loyalty to Romeo'.



I don't know if the likes of Lotto, Mr Passinate and Thomas make it easier or harder. They all let me know that they want me. In some ways this is very bad but in others very good. It is good because they make me feel sexy and wanted but bad because they tempt me but I don't want to do anything to spoil what I ahve with Romeo. I know that he trusts me without question, I don't want to break his trust. After all how could I expect to be able to trust him if I do something to break his trust in me.



I enjoy flirting with Lotto and Thomas on IM. I enjoy flirting by text or email with Mr Passionate. But I know it is nothing more than flirting. They are all lovely and sexy men, I enjoy their company. Although we have flirted I ahve not seen any of them for a long time, the last being Mr Passionate on that special friday last summer. Lotto I only met the once in March last year. Whereas Thomas I met several times and planned more encounters, but first his work came between us then mine. Who knows if we might have ever managed to make love, I have told him that it won't happen now but that I envy the woman who does eventually get him there. I feel a little sad that after everything between us we never did make it to bed but at least we do both have the memories of the times we did have and the gift I gave him one sunday afternoon so long ago now.



On the subject of flirting, whilst my marriage was falling apart SF constantly accused me of having affairs and flirting with the men at the football club. I remember thinking about this and coming to the realisation that upto that point and beyond I had never flirted. I don't think I ever conciously flirted even as a teenager. I was never interested in the boys at my school and too shy to mix with any that I didn't know. I was the proverbial wall flower (not quite content) to watch my friends having a good time while I melted into the background. Because I was so shy it puzzled me when at a local disco one lad asked me to dance, he later told me I was 'a cock teaser'. I had not as far as I was aware done or said anything to provoke this response. I wonder if he was in fact just trying the phrase out. I think I was 16 at this time.



I have always had a lot of friends, some close others not so close, but I was always the quiet one in the corner that people didn't notice or at least I never thought they noticed me. You know sometimes I really wanted to be noticed but it was always the bubbly girl who got noticed even though I felt I was prettier, slimmer (in my youth). I always felt I ahd so much more to offer than my friends but I was never noticed , why would anyone notice me when there was this bubbly out going girl or woman who was so much more fun. I was always the serious one. I remember saying to my friend at the football club a few years ago that I felt people just put up with me but she told me I was wrong. She said that everyone thinks I am lovely. I was not convinced but it was nice to be told that.



Over the past two years my confidence has grown enormously. I am still shy when I am in groups, perhaps this is a legacy of being slightly deaf I can't quite follow whats going on when I am in a group. I am much better when there are only two or three of us together. Over the past two years I have grown confident enough to flirt with men online, I can flirt on the phone too (the other person can't see me so that s good). But now my confidence is such that I can also flirt in person but only when I am in the right mood in the right situation with the right person.



I realise also that one reason why I never flirted before was that I was always afraid the other person would take my flirting too literally and think there was more to it when really there wasn't. So I took the safe option of never flirting. How much time did I waste? Now I love flirting and I think I am becoming quite good at it. But of course it always helps when the person I am flirting with is sexy too.



So now I have discovered that I can flirt and enjoy it too and now I ahve a job that allows me to flirt all day. But I can also have an intimate conversation without flirting. There is one man who I talk to regularly, I ahve met him a few times so I know that he is not my type in any way shape or form yet I still find myself having very intimate conversations with him. Mind you I did tell him today that I was not going to fulfil his fantasies over the phone when I work in an open plan office as he very well knows.

So tell me have always flirted or like me are you a late starter?

Is flirting just harmless fun that helps the world go around or is it a dangerous game to play?

have you had any particulary good or bad experiences of flirting?

memory lane and other lanes

I had a trip down memory lane this morning whilst at work I might add.
A phone call from one of our customers, it is standard practice to ask the customer for their postal address so that we can make sure we have the right customer account. I was quite intrigued to see that this customer's postal address indicated that it was not far from the place where I was born. We talked about this place.


We talked about the hospital where I was born, his own children were born in the same hospital. He told me that this hospital is about to be torn down and replaced with houses.
We then went on to discuss the town where our customer is based. It is the same town where I spent many many hours during my childhood, both my mother and her brother went to school in this town. My late uncle, who was killed in a road accident in Texas where he had lived for a number of years, just a week before his step daughter gave birth to her first child. Attended this school.

I have grown up knowing that another 'old boy' of this Grammar School was this man. I remember many walks through the park ending at the paddling pool in the summers. Or walking my grandparents beloved labrador retriever cross Candy through the wooded areas of the common. I went on to mention the village where my grandparents lived. To my utter surprise this man told me he is going there this evening to visit a friend who has one of the farms. I described the location of the house where I spent many happy times, he knew exactly where I meant. It was a lovely trip down memory lane and I feel also forged a closer link with this particular customer ....... 'good customer relations' I believe this is called.

It was a good day at work, but then for me most days are good. I don't allow myself to get stressed in anyway, I am getting much better at what I do and even managing to solve problems without having to keep asking for help. The good weather helps to improve the mood all around.

Last night I was feeling very low, emotionally drained. As I mentioned yesterday I chatted to Thomas but didn't feel much cheered. However he was waiting for me online this morning as prepared for work. We chatted again and my spirits were much better. It occurred to me that since last summer the two of us have chatted from time to time, generally for a couple of days then nothing for weeks. He seems to be there on days when I am in need of cheering up, this he has done and I doubt I shall hear from him again for some time. Out of all the men I met during the year I was playing the field Thomas was one of those who has made the biggest impression on me along with Swinger and Mr Passionate. Forest and Oxo also made huge impressions on me but those three are the ones I was closest to. I should include SL as he took me on a journey I wouldn't have taken on my own, but he cut me off in a way I may be able to forgive but not forget. After all who likes to be replaced by a younger model and only finding out when someone else tells you. Anyway finding Thomas online waiting for me at 6am was just the tonic this girl needed. Oh and the much awaited text that came at 8.19am that put a smile on my face.

bloggers are friends

Last night when I was going through my documents on this computer just seeing what is on here I found this tribute that I had forgotten about. I was written by one of my blog friends, he had written a piece about four special blog women not saying who they were but we knew. At some point later I had gone back to it and saved it in a word document. I am glad that I did as some months later he closed that blog. He has had other blogs since but is currently in his words 'having a sabbatical.' Any way this is how he described me .

You're one of the sweetest people I know. You go through so much adversity, still smiling. You're ever so discrete - annoyingly so, sometimes. You attract men, lots of them, no surprise there, but you're choosy enough to reject the ones that don't measure up. You're a true friend, always ready to talk, no hidden agenda. You're forgiving and tolerant. You write from the heart, holding nothing back. You revel in discovering your long-suppressed sexuality. You showed me something I always thought was a myth. You like me, probably more than I deserve.

then later last night as I was going through my email accounts I checked the junk box of the emails account that my blog comments go to and I found this email.

hey how r u?

i think you're one of the few people who sounds truly genuine

everyone puts on a front, i know i do it myself, but you come across so very real and kind too.

wasn't this such a lovely thing to say and this is from a new blogger friend.

I feel quite sad tonight, I have been in a strange mood all evening but as I visited a few of my blog friends I found yet another blogger saying goodbye. As I work my way down the list of blogs that I read more and more of the links are skipped as they are either closed or just not posting for a while. I know that all of the bloggers who have closed their blogs in recent weeks are people who I have become friends with outside of blogs, we exchange emails, IM or are Face book friends so we do have the means to continue our contact.

On a slightly more cheerful note I have been chatting to Thomas aka my Knight in Tarnished Armour. As always he makes me feel sexy and adored but there was a different feeling for me today. I felt very sad, chatting to Thomas just made me feel unhappy, I did the usual laughing and sending kisses along with the chat some of which was general chit chat but also the usual mutual admiration and sexual worship mostly from him. Chatting to Thomas made me miss Romeo even more than I did already. I adore Thomas (he was fantasizing about what it would be like if he and I were married), but I feel so much more for Romeo and it hurts that I have not heard from him since last week. I know I will hear from him but I just don't know when. I am getting worried now though, when he text me that he was ill he thought it was flu. But I can't help thinking he must be very ill if he can't manage to to text or call me again. ............Yes I know what you are thinking. Sometimes I wonder if you are right and I am wrong but there is something that tells me otherwise. I have to trust him I have to believe but it isn't always easy. I have given my self a promise that if there is no progress soon I shall call it a day, as much as I don't want to.

contentedly smiling

Ok so I can't help it

every night I tell myself will be an early night, every night ends up being a late night. Every day now I hav to get up at 5.40am to get ready for work..........this would be hard enough but when I don't got to bed until between midnight and 1am sometimes even later it has to catch up with me eventually. On wednesday I went to the gym again. I hadn't been since I twisted my ankle which was at the end of November. I only did a short stint at the gym but it really tired me out. My legs were like jelly as I drove home afterwards. I was tired when I go home but I soldiered on. Around 10pm I went onlineand found myself exchanging messages on facebook with a very sexy guy.

One of my friends had invited me to join a thing where people ask to see a naked picture of you. there are 3 responses, 1) yes 2) ye if you show me yours first 3) no way. tonight when I looked there are 140+ requests to see me naked. I have posted a picture but it isn't a naked one. It is suggestive. I have had a couple of messages calling me a cheat (all in good fun) but I ahv also had some compliments including this one......

what a photo!?and from a local girl too!!

we then began a long exchange although I have not told him just how local I am......my profile gives the city not the town where we both live. This man is very hot and I really mean 'hot' yet he wanted to chat to me. He was interested in my writing and offered to help with research!! at the end of the chat I sent him this to read and his response was this ............

hmmmmmm...I am liking that!its a bit of a tease because the neanderthal in me is saying come on...talk about tits and pussy....but the arty side of me is saying make the imagination work!! top marks...I like!!!

he also said this

yes...but that tingle is made more powerful when its ceases abruptly!Well done...you are the real deal!

praise indeed from someone who knows nothing about me and has read only one piece of my writing.

Other news is that I am really enjoying my job (even the challenge of getting to work on time every morning). I am enjoying interacting with our customers. I am enjoying the challenge of trying to learn thousands of products and their codes and quantities. I knew I could do this job but the hardest thing so far has been to keep track of what I am doing when the phone is constant and I end up chasing my tail but I am getting there. The other morning my boss was chatting to me about the work before Wayne arrived. she told me that although Wayne has been there 16 years and has an incredible product knowledge he has no get up and go. She feels that it will only be a few months before I am doing the job better than him. by that time she is hoping to have worked out a way of setting up a commision system for the sales Office staff as well as the reps on the road.

As I mentioned earlier in the week I have been chatting to Thomas quite a lot this week, he is hoping to see me in the next couple of weeks. I really don't know if this will happen. Tonight I ahve been chatting to Lotto who sometimes apparently works very near to the town where I work. He sometimes stays overnight in a hotel there. he has asked to meet me for a drink either next week or the week after.

I also mentioned Coach a few days ago. I have been exchanging emails and text with coach every day for the past week. we have spoken on the phone and agreed on a date one evening next week. He is divorced with two teenage children who he has on a friday night. I have been playing it cool and only sending a text or email as a reply to his. There have been times when he has contacted me several times before I reply. for someone who professes to be a two finger typist he manages to send fairly long emails at least once every day(even during his busy working day). It will be interesting to see how things go once we meet. He has told me he will phone me over the weekend if I don't mind, so that we can make arrangement s for our date.

yet again time has runa way from me and I need to sleep

but before I do I want to say how glad I am tht Pixie has the all clear and can breath easy again.......and pixie your other news is brilliant too :-)

a good start to the week

I am feeling great today

First off I had no trouble getting out of bed at 5.40am even though I had been chatting to DC until 1.20am after he came in from his latest gig. He sat on my bed telling me some of the adventures they had when they were on tour in Nov. I can't believe we have not had much chance for a proper chat in that time. But he chose the early hours of this morning!!

Had all the boys up and dressed ready for school/college/work by 6.40am so that I could go to work at 7am satisfied that they were all prepared for their day. They will get used to my new routine.....If I have to then so do they!

Whilst I was eating my weetabix I checked my emails and replied to a few I hadn't got around to over the last few days. Crazy or what? I had all weekend but neglected my friends but today I had 20 mins and wrote several emails. One of which was to my Knight in Tarnished Armour aka Thomas. I had sent him a best wishes email over New Year along with my other friends. He replied last week apologising for neglecting me.

As I was drying my hair Thomas came online and began chatting, we only had about 5 mins so it was a very brief chat. He noticed my new photograph on my chat window and complimented me.......it has been a long time since we last met. this new photo shows my new stylish haircut that I treated myself to once I knew I had the new job. each time I met Thomas I was sporting my old style with the scrunch dried curls so this new image was quite different. During our chat he also told me that he would need to come to the city soon would I be able to meet him. I said I didn't know.

To my astonishment I received a further email from him this afternoon saying he had been pleased to have a brief chat this morning. However he was saddened to think that when I said I didn't know about meeting him, he has lost me through his neglect. he thinks that I have found someone else to bestow my affections and therefore don't need him anymore.

Firstly I never was his. I do lust him as he lusts me and it has all be a bit of fun, but I was amazed to read his email. Although we have had a sporadic communication over the past year the last time we met was in January 2007. I am not going to read too much into this just enjoying the flattery.

My new job is proving to be to my liking. I had a chat with my boss this morning before the lads arrived. She feels that I will have no problem and in a few months once I know what is what I shall be flying. She is aware that I have got Wayne's measure and will keep him in check. It is good to know that she feels she made the right choice in giving me the job.

I have not been following my diet or been to the gym in recent weeks.life and illness have been in the way. But as of today I am back on the diet and tomorrow back to the gym.

I have been in contact with a few new men, mostly just for chat, but there is one new man who I shall call Coach who seems promising.

All in all I am feeling good, if only I had not fallen off the diet, but we can't have everything.

breaking records

George has asked me if I would still be setting out to break sexual records during the next three weeks if forest had told me earlier about his holiday.

I would like to clarify that I am not setting out to break any records. If he had told me before the last minute I would have felt happier about the situation between us. This would have perhaps made me less inclined to accept as many of the opportunities which have suddenly presented themselves. I am not setting out to see as many men as I can while he is away. Opportunities to see others who I have previously met and one or two that I hadn't until now have been presenting themselves. I see no reason to turn them down. He has made it clear that he expects me to see other men. I see no reason to sit at home moping while he is enjoying himself somewhere unknown. but probably I wouldn't have bothered to meet anyone new unless they were extra special. I will however definitely meet up with Thomas if he can arrange to be in my area when I am not working.

while the cat is away.........

George has asked me if it will be a long three weeks while Forest is away. I have to say that there is the potential for it to be very long. After all I was climbing the walls when I couldn't contact him for 2 weeks. Now I know he is away for 3 weeks it did hurt when I found his message. Not because he is away, I don't begrudge him a holiday, he is very hard working not just in his work but in his private life too. I am assuming that he has taken his children away with him, I could never wish him not to spend time with his children who he cares for very much, this is so obvious when he talks about them. What hurt was the way he told me, but more than anything that he left it until the last minute to tell me. He probably did this for one of two reasons, either it didn't occur to him until the last minute to tell me, then realised that I would go crazy if I didn't hear from him for that length of time without knowing the reason. Or he didn't want to tell me before as he was worried about how I would react to the news that he would be away. I would have reacted much better if he had told me before. I would have like to ask him where he was going what it is like there etc. Now I am wondering if it will occur to him to send me a postcard he had better not say he couldn't as he doesn't know my address. He has been here a few times, I had to give him my address for him to find my house.

Anyway onto the subject of the next three weeks for me.
Ronjazz has told me that I only need to be true to myself not anyone else. He is right and I have to say that my decision to behave myself and nor see others was because that was how I wanted it not because any man had asked me not to see anyone else. All the men I see including Forest are happy for me to see others (or at least thats what they say).So for a few months I saw forest then gradually began to see Oxo again. Then Mr Passionate crept back into bed with me last week. You know that thing the more you have the more you want. Well in the last week I have seen 2 men that I hadn't seen before, I am making plans to see Thomas again. I am due to see another man Rusty this week also. Although we have not met already we began chatting last year and did arrange to meet at one point but his business meeting over ran and we just never got around to rearranging the date until now. So far from crying myself asleep every night I think maybe I shall be too busy to worry too much about what was his name again?

Dark master has plans to have me spanked when his sex slave comes over from Canada. He has spoken to her about it and they want to make my fantasy story 'her suprise' come true. Rusty has plans for me to be tied and teased. I am sure that in the next few weeks I shall see both Oxo and Fireman Sam my fuck buddies. Thomas is organising time to see me, we have agreed that the fantasy of the knight and his lady is over. This is now an illicit affair between two real people. He is concerned that as he is as good as married I will give him the bums rush (that is not what I have planned for his bum). So I think while the cat is away this mouse will be playing hard and may even be too knackered to see him on his return.

Male harem

Is there a word that equals harem when attached to men as opposed to women?

I have just been chatting to Thomas formally known as my knight. we were discussing the men in my life. I described them as the male equivalent to a harem. In the past I have talked of my stable of men.

I had thought that sometimes men runaway from me. they enjoy being with me but suddenly bolt like frightened cats. This I put down to them not really liking me as much as they could. But I am beginning to realise now that I was wrong. They run because they do like me. It isn't me that frightens them but their own feelings towards me. Thomas has just promised that he wont do it again. He hadn't realised that I had noticed that was what he had done.

which best describes what I have harem or stable or is there a better way to collectively describe my men.