Tuesday, 31 July 2007

another day in my life

The sun is shining in my world today ;-)

On the whole it has been a good day although it could have been better

I didn't get to sleep before 1am

woke up at 2am feeling horny thinking about my imminent adventure

woke up again at 4am (kids were still awake!!)

6.15am got up made breakfast and blogged.

found an off line message from Forest

'we never seem to be here at the same time'

I reply I am here now

then realise his message was sent at 10pm last night (I was on computer then but offline)

I text him that I seem to have missed him again

not much later and he comes on line and we have our first msn chat for about 2 months
it is sooo much easier than text. But all too soon I have to shower and go to work. I am leaving earlier today as I am taking my computers to be looked at. I have got a good deal. One pc gets a full health check, the other I believe needs a new hard drive (I was told last year that the hard drive falls over and will do this more and more frequently, this seemed to be the case). It turned out that the hard drive is fine but one of the connections on a cable attached to the hard drive has sheared off. I had a second RAM installed, some drives which were missing were downloaded ie sound. I had all this done while I was at work and collected them on the way home. Total cost a massive £67 so I am well pleased with that. even if I was left with a mere 70p in my purse.

On the down side although it had been very grey all morning it was dry however this changed in time for me to get wet leaving work. By 5pm it was dry and even sunny!!!!
computer is working well, wireless adapter is working but just wont connect with router, I phoned my broadband provider....they dont support this adapter I must contact the supplier. But by this time the supplier was out of office!! so I still dont have a wireless connection.......oh well maybe tomorrow or the day after or the day after or some day.

Oh and a big suprise to me my son told me last night that he doesnt like his car he wants to sell it. He only bought it in march!! so he spent last night looking for cars online this morning he went to look at a peugot 106 (he has 206) but he rang me on my way home to tell me that hes found a new car.....hes swapping it for his current car. He is getting a Suzuki Vitari estate (better for carrying equipment for his band Jaimison)

I wonder how long this one will last before he decides to change it

Monday, 30 July 2007

when you get here

she catches sight of him across the room

as she looks up from the menu

her heart misses a beat

she hadn't expected to see him

her stomach lurches

should she acknowledge him

he catches her eye and winks

she smiles and turns

to her companion

to continue their deliberations

should she have the caesar salad or

cumberland sausage and mash

her companion chooses a ploughmans lunch

she swaggers off to the bar to place their order

as she leans over the bar checking out the drinks

a hand she feels lightly brush across her ass

he stands a little apart from her

placing his own order for himself and his family

'I didn't expect.....'

'.....to see you here '

he finishes for her

he smiles 'I'm glad'

her order placed with the staff

back to the table she returns

while she eats she catches a glimps of a leg

or an arm as he speaks animatedly

with his family

his face hidden from view

later a text she receives

you looked happy and peaceful

you too and your son looks just like his sexy father

your mother could be your sister

hands off you are mine

yes and I shall prove it when you get here

Saturday, 28 July 2007

situation Vacant

I have a possible vacancy for a man to be by my side (well more accurately in my bed).

I had a husband, we shared a bed for 19 years but in the end I didn’t want to share the bed with him any more so I divorced him and bought a new bed. (the fact that the kids broke it within a few months is irrelevant). We went to court because he was harassing me and on a few occasions I thought he was going to kill me….he threatened to lots of times. But now we are able to be civil to each other again. Last week though he asked if we will ever get back together again…….I told him no.

I had a boyfriend, he has been in my life on and off for 18 months now. He messed me around. He was seeing someone else. He would stay with me for a few weeks then be with her for a few weeks. I thought I was in love with him, I fought to get him back. Eventually he hurt me too badly and I tried to forget him. Then after Christmas we got back together but I wasn’t keen, shouldn’t have agreed. But I wanted to sometimes not wake up alone so I put up with him. It wasn’t good, I no longer thought he was great in bed. His kisses didn’t melt my heart any more. I broke up with him but it took several months for him to accept. Then he wanted to be friends and chat on msn. Every time we spoke he would end up being rude, leaving me wanting to smack him one. Last night we spoke briefly and he was fine, no insults! He invited me over for a drink………I declined.

I have had a number of married men in the past year. The fact they are married means that we could never have more than a few stolen hours occasionally. I got lonely at night and on weekends so I decided to give up my married men. All but one anyway. How could I give up my Mr Passionate. He is as passionate about me as I am about him which is delicious. But I can’t ever see him at the times when I am lonely.

There have been other men, mostly they are too far away or the chemistry just wasn’t right. There is one who I see still. I like him he is kind, has his own home, lives far enough away but not too far. Sexually we are good together. He likes me to stay all night it is nice waking up with him on a Sunday morning. I felt like going to see him last Friday when I was feeling down. I know he would have comforted me, he would have made me feel wanted but I just couldn’t go. I felt that I would have been using him. It wouldn’t have felt right to be sleeping with him while my mind was with someone else. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself which would have made it less pleasurable for him too. I know he wouldn’t have minded if I was using him. We both know that we are fuck buddies nothing more although he did say a few months ago that it was possible this could become a relationship eventually. This is not what I want though. He is nice, he is safe but he doesn’t light my fire.

I had a friend, we chatted often on msn when he was at work. He wanted to meet me but I was in no hurry and he wasn’t pushing for a date, just reminded me from time to time that he would like to do with me some of the things I was doing with others. He read my blogs often to keep up to date with what I had been doing when we hadn’t chatted for a while. After months we swapped mobile numbers, he warned me that he doesn’t have his switched on all the time. We began to text occasionally but mostly we still chatted on msn. After a few more months we met. I thought I was meeting a friend. In fact I met a very sexy man who completely bowled me over during our chat and consequent walk in the woods the following day. I think the world of him, he is my friend and lover. But timing has not been good since we first met. Either he has been very busy and not had time to chat on msn or I have not been able to get to the computer to chat. Now I work I am unable to chat with him. I have now discovered that he is not very communicative by phone. We do exchange text messages but not as much as I would like. But I accept that is just the way he is. He lost his phone for a couple of weeks which didn’t help, I was climbing the walls not being able to text him. But as always just when I start to think this is not working he will text me. He might not say much but he is caring and thoughtful. My friends tell me to forget him as he obviously isn’t interested he is just messing me about. But I don’t agree. I think he is just being himself, working hard and not being pushy. But I want him to be pushy, I want him to be masterful. In a way he is, he is the one in control here even if he doesn’t say much. I want to see him very much, my body craves the physical contact with him but more than anything it is my friend I miss when we are apart.
We have not seen each other since I went back to work about 5 weeks ago.

So anyway, there is a vacancy in my bed, maybe my sexy friend will fill it but maybe he won’t.

paranoid and irrational

no great words of wisdom today

I am in a sorry state today

been feeling sorry for myself all day

the torrential rain didn't help

not being busy at work didn't help

too much time to think

too many sad thoughts

paranoia setting in

I know he can't help it if his time is already committed

he can't make the meeting I asked for on the off chance

Oh well never mind is the reaction I gave

its the only logical reaction

but that wasn't enough

having spent all day thinking about whether he trully wants me

wanting to cry, but holding back

I tell him how hurt I am

that he must do better

yet my mind knows that he hasn't rejected me

it is me who is rejecting me for him

my warped mind that doesnt think I am good enough for him

my warped mind that thinks he is ashamed of me

It is me who wants him so bad that I cannot believe he might want me too

I thought about sendng Oxo the secret text message asking to see him

But to my mind I would be using him for comfort

when it is not his arms and lips I crave

I thought of texting PL to meet up before he goes to work

but I figured friday afternoon his wife would be home early

I thought of N but only for a second

I text FF we will meet soon

JJ text me

he is thinking of me while naked in his bed

yes this could be what I need

but neither of us are home alone

we agree to have fun next month when he will have more time

I guess all I can do now is

MY Rabbit

I tried him again a few days ago

just to see

if pleasure he will give to me

at last it seems to be better

he slides in with ease

and vibrates where before he did not reach!!

I must go now to my bed and my new friend

who with his long ears will titilate

and cause me to become wet

relaxation he will help me to find

before into a deep slumber I shall sink

this I shall now do I think


he says I seem to be cross
whatever gives him that idea
I am not cross while we are chatting
perhaps it has something to do with some of my recent posts
"fond" and maybe "scream"
On the whole I am fairly cheerful
I am enjoying going to work again
I am enjoying feeling sexy again after the last few months
whilst not great my life is ok
my social life is improving
maybe I am premenstral but I don't think it is that
I tend to shout a lot when I am premenstral (often shouting apologies for shouting)
I am unlikely to be premenstral as I no longer get menstral and if I was it only lasts a day or maybe two

yes I was cross when he told me that everyone is very fond of me, I was also cross with him because he keeps telling me that the man who I yearn for is a 'fuckwit'. Maybe I need to be told that, but it doesn't mean that I want to hear it or can accept it.

I am cross because that man who occupies my thoughts so much makes me so frustrated. I am cross with me for letting a man get under my skin. I am cross with myself for not being able to keep my feelings to myself, for telling him how I feel. My instinct tells me to play it cool and pretend he doesnt mean anything to me. A male friend told me 6 months ago when I had a crush on GB that I should tell him how much I like him, that men need to be told they are wanted too. So I dither, should I tell him or play it cool. I can't make up my mind so I try to play it cool then I worry that he will think I don't care, so then I over compensate and tell him I really want him, I stop short of using the words love or need (I don't love or need him or any man but boy do I want him).
He is very quiet and unassuming, he is very gentle and safe, but he very quickly got under my skin, that wasn't meant to happen. He was meant to be like the others, he was meant to be nice,kind, a good lover, a good friend, someone I could go weeks or even months without speaking to but when we do its like we pick up where we left off. I have that with others so why not with him. I am cross with myself because I cannot bear to go a day without speaking to him one way or another. I am cross with him because he doesn't keep in contact. I am cross with me for wanting him to, I am cross with him because he won't. I am cross with him because I feel he is playing mind games with me. I am cross with me for being a paranoid idiot, he probably doesnt even think about it. I am cross because I want to see him so much. I am cross because he doesnt mind me seeing another man (not that I was trying to make him jealous). he just text me at the wrong moment. Until I got his midnight text I was frustrated that I hadnt heard from him in hours but his text made me angry. I wanted, to shake him, slap him tell him to wake up. I wanted to tell him I am here waiting for him come and get me!!! I wanted to tell him that he had driven me into the arms of another man when it was him I wanted.

I am cross with my son, he has had a warning from work for having too much time off work ill (hes only been there since feb) but today he was ill. I told him last night to dose himself up and get plenty of sleep, then drag himself into work today. He wasnt due to start work until 1pm!! but he didnt go. I am also cross with him because he was meant to move out a few weeks ago then it was put back to last monday then postponed indefinitely, partly because he didn't have enough money left to pay first month's rent. He's telling me this when hes wearing new clothes and has spent £150 on a ticket to Reading festival and god knows how much on a paintballing session. So hes still here and eating all my food and using electicity and has now completely runout of money. (he had to borrow money for petrol from his younger brother). Because he was moving out I didn't ask him for a month's rent so for a whole month he has only given me £130.

I am cross with my boss, this morning I over heard her telling someone that now she is 50 she has got an appointment to go for a mammagram, but she wont go. she said if she is going to die then she will die. I was not near to her at the time (her voice carries) she was not speaking to me otherwise I would have told her that she was being irresponsible. She then made a phone call to someone about an interview for her 16 yr old daughter. she was concerned that the company's website infers that it employs youngsters from mainly broken homes (her daughter does not come from such a home!!) this comment was noted by both the other people I was working with. She continued to be the caring parent making sure that this company had her daugher's best interests at heart. She is such a caring mother but obviously not caring enough to ensure her health is looked after so that she can continue to be a mother.

In conclusion I guess he might be right.........I might be slightly cross

Friday, 27 July 2007


wandering along aisles filling up the trolley
with basic food rations for the week
neck feeling tender, bruises starting to come out
throbbing sensation still from beneath flowing skirt
can they tell, these other shoppers
that from her lover's bed she has arrived here
these things will ensure that for a few hours, days
her night will not soon be forgot
to wake up next to this now familiar body
to stroke his back as he stirs from his deep contented sleep
he turns and feels the wetness between her legs as his cock lands in her hand
within minutes he hovers over her as he enters her now pulsing pussy
still sore from the pounding of the early hours
he has made it his mission to reverse the closing of her vagina

"either my cock has shrunk or your cunt has got bigger"

"your cock has not shrunk"

as he pounds into her sometimes into her pussy
somestimes her ass
her thoughts turn to the other one
the one who has made her want to scream

on the way here there were text messages

sometimes you make me want to scream!!

screaming I hope x

in my head but once in the car with my radio up loud i shall scream

lucky u x

at least someone wants to be with me

touche turtle x x

not lucky me but lucky him

must be u too or no reason to x

maybe you dont think he is lucky, he will make me feel wanted, then I wont need to scream

it was u said u not lucky and screaming is good for u

this only made her want to scream even more, why cant he see that it is him she wants to be with
it is good to be with this man as he holds her and kisses and bites her
he fills her aching body
he gives her back her confidence
the confidence the other has been breaking down
the confidence that attracted him in the first place
but he does not make her heart lurch at the sight of him
he does not make her melt in his embrace
his kisses dont make her heart sing

now the sky has turned dark and there is thunder which suits the way she is feeling the thunder is the screaming in her head and the rain is the tears that she tries not to let fall


who would have thought that as I have my early morning browse of some of the blogs in my favourites list I would be eating my breakfast with 3 msn windows open
in one I am discussing cunilingus
in the next anal sex
and the third is a man who wants to wank for me

my mornings dont always start like this.

at work there is a buffet lunch provided for the office staff (all 8 of us who are there) to say goodbye to a german lad who has been setting up a website for the company. Refreshments include bucks fizz. But I declare that im not touching the asti. everyone laughs and my boss says she will put a bucket by my desk. Even the director laughs ( I blame him for me getting drunk at my boss's birthday 2 weeks ago).

back home I am exchanging text from someone I had sent an email including one of my early fantasy stories. he is looking forward to more.

I was just thinking about you, trying to figure out what fantasy I can write for you next.

mmmm now that does have a nice ring to it :-) you'll have to let me have a sneaky peek if you do x

I have now written a short piece for you

nice one x

I will have to decide if I will let you read it

tease :-) x

always! and dont say you dont like to be teased ;-) x

would never say that lol x

am I good in your latest fantasy lo ;-) x

it wouldnt be a fantasy if you were no good lol x

lol fair one! would be bloody rude to let you down in the first place ;-) I look forward to having a read soon babe x

this week has been the first time I have not had to sleep when i got home from work/school run. But today it had caught up with me and I fell asleep on my bed. I was half asleep when I got the text I have waited a couple of weeks for. he has found his phone!! I dont know whether I am happy or not. we have chatted by text this evening but it was still like pulling teeth! part of the reason I was pissed off yesterday was that you keep calling him a fuckwit.......you are probably right but that doesnt mean I want to hear it! I want to believe you are wrong but I'm not sure. I have chatted but its all been general stuff and not a single kiss from me! I am cross with him and I'm cross with you for pointing out that he is no good for me when I so want him to be.

I have decided to write about my day when I get an unexpected text


hello who ever you are

who is this?

is that J**** ?

sorry some1 gave me wrong number

ok no worries

who is this anyway?

who r u?

I'm Ian

I'm LiR

as i said I got wrong number sorry

i'm in *****

oh ok who gave you my number?

i was after someone else and they made mistake in the number

where are you if you dont mind me asking?

Im just off the M**

are you single?


me 2

you dont mind me texting you do you ?

not at all

it must be strange me texting you out of the blue

stranger things happen

I'm not that strange

he has been texting me now for an hour and half lol I have just received 2 pictures of him (hes only 33 thinks hes ugly but hes not) have now sent him one of me, he thinks I look nice and Im not old!my battery is getting flat!

it has been a strange day maybe that has something to do with it being friday 13th not that I am supersticious


I had a long chat with Oxo last night

we are going to see more of each other

I don't know when or even if I shall see Forest again

So until one of us meets someone else we are going to see each other whenever we want to

we have devised a code where if one wants to we send a text that in one word
tells the other what we want and when

It will mean that I am the one having to travel but at least its comfortable and peaceful at his place

he is very understanding about my current physical limitations but is not phased by it ;-)

It takes four

I have come to the realisation that the man I desire in my life exists in the form of four men. these men are all different, they bring different things to my life. On their own none will live up to my needs but put them together I have the perfect man for me.

there is my comfort lover, he takes me in his embrace, kisses me oh so nicely, takes me to his bed and holds me throughout the night. He wants me often, he wants more than I can give but is happy to accept what I can. He wants to make me his, at least in the short term, perhaps longer. We are good together, he is sweet and he finds me perfect, my only fault being that I have children. he calls me up just to hear my voice, he tells me i have a very sexy voice. he gives me peace and comfort.

there is the one who stole my heart. first we were friends, then we met and my breath he took away. there is no man I have ever found sexier even in his shyness. to communicate frequently is not his thing which frustrates me no end. Our times together though brief and infrequent have an intensity none can beat. the more I learn of him the more in common I find we have. Both now and in the years of our childhoods. he gives me something I cannot put my finger on, all I know is that without him I am incomplete.

there is the one who gives me passion, he knows that there are times when I need to be fucked hard. we give each other much pleasure. He is bound to another, but to me and none other he willingly gives his passion. from that very first time we met it was inevitable that soon in my bed he would be. We no longer frequently get together but that is unimportant. Our passion for each other we can give from afar as we await that time when we can again be joined as one. among others he is the only wedded one I could not give up. he gives me exhileration

lastly there is the one who is my friend, we share a fondness for each other. we also share an interest in a side to me that I have yet to explore. the art of discipline spanking has taken a hold of my curiosity. this has been a subject of interest to him for many years. he has kindly agreed to initiate me into these pleasures. we talk often about this and other matters. he has taken over the role of confidante from the one who was before my heart he stole. he gives me laughter, excitement and encouragement.

I apologise now if you are one of the other men in my life but not one of the four. everyone of you has a place in my heart :-)

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Talk to her

I was reading blogs when I came across a you tube video of Priestess I listened to this song and decided that it speaks volumes about where I am at at the moment. I just had to post the words. thank you George for introducing me to this song

Talk to her - Priestess

Talk to her, don't leave her behind
You shut her out for too long
I know, 'cause I've seen her cry
If you keep her down she'll get up and move on
Wake up it's time
Open your eyes
You've got to let her know
Stop wasting time
Make up your mind
Love her or let her go
Talk to her, you've done something wrong
We've all got something to hide
But don't turn your back for too long
There'll always be somebody waiting in line
I could be all that she wants
Got a heart, got a home, got a hand for her to hold
Talk to her, there's something you'll find
With all this pain that you caused
You'll be the loser this time
And I'll be the one with the girl that you lost
Believe me she's leaving
And I'll be the one, look what you lost


I worry so much. I can’t believe this is happening. Normally I meet a new man we have a drink a chat. If the chemistry is right we kiss, touch maybe more. We usually send a text after to say thank you to each other. If it’s right we will meet again. It may be days or even weeks before we speak again on msn or by text. That’s ok we both know that if we don’t see each other again it wont matter but if we do it will be great. We get in contact when we want to see each other.

But now it’s different, we met, we kissed, we met again, we kissed some more, we touched. We met again, we kissed a lot we touched a lot. We did everything but fucked. He went away, I missed him straight away. We have not talked much since. I panic if we have no contact. This is not like me.

I worry that I am pestering him, I worry that he won’t want me, I worry that I am scaring him away. I worry about being too forward. I worry I am putting pressure on him. I worry that if we don’t speak he will forget about me. I worry that he is waiting for me to make the first move. I worry that he wants to be the one that makes the first move. I worry that I am worrying so much.

I worry that he wants me for my sexuality alone, I worry that my sexuality wont be good enough when put to the test. I worry that I am not funny enough. I worry that I am too serious, I worry about not taking things serious enough. I worry that I am treading on some one else’s toes. I worry that he doesn’t mind me seeing anyone else. I worry that if I do he won’t like it anymore. I worry that I am turned on by the thought of mmf or mff with him. I worry that I would be too jealous.

I worry that I find him so sexy. I worry that after all this time I am not sexy enough for him. I worry that I am too sexy for him to enjoy the rest of me. I worry that we will lose the friendship we had. I just worry


I am unhappy, I am sad, I feel empty, I am miserable
There, I said it, I admit that I feel miserable
Today I sent an email, one that I really didn’t want to write let alone send.
As much as I really like him both as a friend and a lover
It just wasn’t working
I would have liked to have seen him much more often
But I could cope with the infrequency of our being together.
The reason I have given up is the spasmodic communication.
This is all I am going to say about this

Today I have thought about other men in my life
Last night I had a chat via msn with JJ about our plans for a spanking session
This spanking session is with the expectations of him being highly sexually aroused while I have to remain un aroused with much temptation being placed in my way to persuade me to be bad which in turn would lead to further punishment. This chat was continued via phone as I later lay in my bed playing, as he listened to my moans he was describing what he will do to me and how my wrists will be bound and my eyes blind folded to heighten my experience.

There is another man in my life who is planning to spank me. We are friends and I trust him. This is not intended to be a sexual event. This will be a very different experience for me. There is no talk of arousal, more of implements and rituals.

Today I text a married lover. When I decided to stop playing the field I told all my lovers that I would not see them anymore, all that is except this one. I just couldn’t bare to give up this one lover. The one I have referred to as my Passionate lover. He is married as I say and when I first met him he was playing around with other women. Months ago he told me that he just didn’t have the time to play around anymore but he would always make time for me. As it happens we have not been able to find the time to see each other since February. He comes here to me as I refuse to go to his home although that would have been easier. It has been difficult as there always seemed to be one of the kids home or I had to go out. Then I was ill, soon after this #2 son finished school, now I am working in the daytime. He works nights. I have not been in touch with him for a couple of months. But today I felt a need to connect with him. He says he had wondered where I had disappeared to. It was good to exchange text for a while. He still wants to see me and is pleased that I still want to see him. I can’t see this happening before September which is torture but at least I know we both still want it.

I have also had various chats recently with my ex b/f on msn. Each time I end up wondering why I bother. Without fail he makes me want to hit him. He can be so childish, irritating and damn right rude. He always ends up being insulting to me. Yes I know I should block him. One of the things he often asks is if I have any new pictures. This man thinks nothing of insulting me but wants pictures of my body. He never believes me that I have no new photos. In fact there are only two new pictures of me and only one person other than me has seen them and that’s the man who took them on his phone then later sent them to me. (unless he has shown them to anyone which I doubt).



where are you planning to plant those?

well I could go for the chaste continental greeting a few times

if thats what takes your fancy

or maybe I will start with your lips

excuse me do I get any in return?

depends if you are a good girl or bad

I can be very good at being bad

I cant wait to lick you out and feel your mouth on my cock

my battle continues

Before I got distracted by the news I received on Thursday I had intended to write this post about the two sides of me which seem to still be in battle one against the other. The two sides which seem to mean that I cannot as yet reach my goal.

I did think of writing a list of my qualities that I see on each side of the coin that is me. But I don’t think that will work as to me there are not two definite sides to me.

In some ways there are two sides but there is no line drawn between the two. No that’s wrong it isn’t two separate sides more like two extremes of the same side.

On the one hand there is the me that people who know me see. The mother, the colleague, the public persona. On the other hand there is the woman who after many years in the desert has woken up realising that she is just that ‘a woman’ who thoroughly enjoys sex. The public persona and the sexual woman are not two different people but one and the same.

So why is it that my public persona has to hide the sexy woman behind closed doors. The sexual woman in me comes out online and of course when I meet a lover. But it seems that my lovers who obviously find me sexy and witty are not interested in the kind, loving, caring, sensitive person that I am. Even those who I chat to for months before meeting, they get an insight to the rest of me not just the sexual side. I am not interested in men who can talk of nothing but sex. I enjoy sex, I enjoy flirting, I enjoy discussing sex online or by text to an extent but not constantly I get bored if that is all a man can talk about.

After all these months of allowing my sexual side to have free reign as it were I still am not at peace with myself. I have learnt that it is good to enjoy sex (safe sex that is) it has given me a certain freedom to express myself both, physically in bed or where ever but also in my chat with men and some women, but more in my writing. However I still cannot reconcile myself to this being respectable behaviour for the mother of four who has grown up in the society I have. I am still battling in my conscience over whether I am being normal or very immoral.

I have enjoyed my promiscuity of the past year, but have calmed right down now. I am seeing only one man. That however does not mean that I have stopped talking to others. They do all know now that I am only seeing the one man. He however is perhaps the only one who does not realise this. I do have plans to carry out certain lets call them experiments with certain selected others. These I won’t reveal just at the moment. But for the main part he is my sole sexual partner for now. He is the only one I have made love to in the last few months. He does not mind if I see others, he enjoys reading about my escapades in my blog. There is a possibility that as time progresses he and I will swing together with others for 3 or 4 somes. I have been in contact with some others about this.

I have plans to carry out one or two of my fantasies in the not too distant future with a willing partner. We have only to arrange when and where. So if you think that my recent news is going to put me off carrying out our plans you are wrong it only makes it more important that I experience as much as I can while I can. If I can then so can you. You know who you are.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007


she is hot and glowing before her lover arrives
she marvels at how cool he seems
he is almost an hour late after being stuck in traffic
air conditioning... ok so it does have its place she prefers natural air
they are lying naked on the bed arms around each other his face hovers over hers
as they kiss sometimes with passion sometimes more gently sometimes teasing
his hand drifts over her hot flesh as she holds on to his head keeping him there
he finds that place that makes her wriggle
they hardly break free from their kissing as his fingers start to play
instantly making her wet
now her hand is stroking his hard cock ......
already hard before he had stripped off his clothes
she breaks free only to gaze into his eyes that are such an unusual shade of blue
she changes her position so that now she hovers over him
still they kiss still their hands play
he moves her hand away from his now wet cock
his fingers dig deeper
he gives her an exsquisite finger fuck as she moans and writhes under his touch
she has wanted this for sometime now
she has been waiting yet last week she was scared now she is not
she enjoys the gentleness of his being
she is lost in the sensations he gives her with his fingers
he takes away all her control
today he totally dominates her but in such a passive way
his fingers are like magic as they thrust inside her making her gush
she comes again and again
he takes her to a height where she can barely hold on
as her fingers dig into his upper arm and she bites down on his shoulder
he brings her back down and they relax together
still kissing and murmuring
he suggests it is time to see if they fit together
as he applies his condom she sits half behind half beside him
running a finger down his back
he lays back for her to sit straddling him
he sets the pace today
she moves slowly on his hard cock facing him as they gaze at each other
she reaches behind her and gently plays with his balls
doing this she discovers how cold her skin feels to the touch
there must be a cool breeze from the open window that she was not aware of
she reaches down to kiss him softly .... their lips hardly meeting
she goes back to her upright position continuing to move upon his thrusting cock
they move together sometimes so slowly there is little movement at all
sometimes a little faster but never wildly
this is not the time for wild passion
this is more about being joined together enjoying their pleasure
they both watch the other's face as he plays with her nipples and she trails
her fingers upon his skin
she loves the dark curls upon his chest with just a spinkling of grey
she loves the feeling of him inside her
this gentle man who towers over her when standing
this man whose eyes are such a very soft blue
this man whose touch is so gentle yet can arouse her causing rivers of moisture
today they are learning about each other
today there is no need for passion except in their kisses
today is lovely and peaceful
tomorrow she will pay
tomorrow her muscles will scream from the abuse
they have not worked like this for a few months


I am confused
I want you so much
But you are not there
I want you so much
I tell you so
But you do not reply
I want you so much
I can't find you
I tell you I give up
You tell me your phone is lost
Does this mean that you are there
It's just that we can't find each other
Is this a game of hide and seek
I want you so much
But the question is this
How much do you want me?
Will this be resolved soon
Will the fog soon be lifted
Talk to me honey
I want you so much
But not at any price
I want your friendship
I want your company
I want your laughter
I want your kisses
I want your arms around me
What do you want?


It hurts
This aching inside
This emptiness
The loneliness
I long to feel you by my side
I yearn for you to take away this feeling
I want to watch your smile as we make sweet music
Will I ever again hear your velvety voice in my ear
Will I ever again gaze into your soft blue eyes
I yearn for the heat your fingers bring to my flesh
The electricity that shoots through me
When our lips meet in passion
Now all I taste is salt
As my silent tears slide down my cheek
It is time now
To say goodbye
It is not what I wish
It is the only choice
Your silence speaks volumes
Goodbye my sweet friend
My lover no more

why do I do this to myself

I have got myself into a tiss over the situation between me and Forest
are we seeing each other or not?
am I just a sex toy to him
do I push him into action or just wait
or do I walk away

tonight I have sent him a variety of text from
a x
to a :-p
to telling him what I want and asking what he wants
no reply to any of them.

then I get online and see Jasper is on msn
thats unusual especially at this time of night
I resist saying hi
until I am very tired and about to go to bed
my resistance fails
I say hi to him
he calls me angel
he says he wants one of my snogs
and the time we had in the hotel
I chat on but he doesnt reply again
now I am hankering after two men
neither of them any good at communication
its no good
I must stop this.


I am a butterfly, I flit from one place to another spreading my warmth and beauty for all to see and share.

Only now I cannot fly, I am trapped. trapped in a giant spider's web. The more I try to escape the more I get tangled up in these threads so fine they appear invisible. but they are there all the same.

I believed you were my friend, you listened to tales of my travels. You listened to tales of the magnificent butterflies I had met and also the drab moths I had encountered along the way. You soothed me with your words when I became excitable. You lured me to you with your warmth. I believed you to be a magnificent butterfly too but I was wrong. You are a spider and you have me caught in your web.

When I yearn for the comfort of .your words, to have you beside me, you hide in the very centre of your web in a place I cannot reach. But each time I try to escape you throw out more threads to keep me held fast. You send me words that lighten my heart but still you keep your distance.
Please I beg of you, either take me into the heart of your world. Keep me safe and happy, let us dance together. Or release me let me fly againon the breeze to land where ever I will.


I have not indulged in any swinging in the last few months. I have been a good girl saving myself for the one man I currently want to be with. However I am now feeling that I have not fully explored every aspect of my sexuality. I have therefore been in contact with a few of the people I have met in the swinging world, with a view to playing again when I am in better health. This may or may not be on my own. Forest has expressed a desire to be my new playmate.


I like you very much
you are kind, funny, caring and very sexy
you make me feel good
I miss talking to you
I dont mean a text here and there
I mean really talking like we did before

You gave me pleasure
you made me feel better with your own brand of TLC
we are planning to be together in just a few hours
yet I am scared
scared that you wont be able to see me
scared that you will
scared something will go wrong

I have wanted this so much
I have longed to see you
I have yearned for you kisses
I need your touch
I need to taste you
I need your arms around me

do you still want me
will you still want me
will our time together be how we want
will we have enough time
suddenly I am scared
scared of wanting you

I'm still scared of seeing you though I want to so much, I wake up feeling unwell, nerves maybe.
my son is poorly, i'm in two minds. do I let him stay home and put you off or do I make him go to school so I can have you.
you take the decision out of my hands.

Hiya I am not going to make it as something new now cropped up x so sorry x

no worries, I was about to tell you that my youngest is home ill.

lol is that not typical for us both x was so looking forward to licking u out the feel of your mouth around my cock and finally entering you and having you come over me x

mmmmm now you got me going! I was looking forward to making a meal of you xxxx


things are looking up and we are getting it together

I am one happy bunny but not as happy as i am going to be ;-D

why do I feel betrayed

I had a text this morning from the lovely man who took me out for a lunchtime drink on tuesday. It seem he has been contacted by SL saying he used to be half of (the couple name we had) now he is playing with Alison. I have chatted to Alison in the past she lives in my town and we were talking about the three of us getting together. I know there were times when we were both chatting to her at once but not together. I have not spoken to her in a few months and not spoken to him much either.

I mentioned to him last week that I wasn't able to get onto our profile he said he hadn't renewed our membership. He was having a break as it was all getting very samey. I didn't mind as I was thinking of having a break myself specially as I have decided to stop NSA.

I don't mind that the two f them have hooked up together but he could have been honest and told me. I told him what I was doing. I feel he has betrayed me.

Anyway when I first made contact with Forest it was to play as two couples. Only he had split from his partner. I know he still wants to try some group sex so maybe I won't feel so bad now about contacting some of the people I have met through this to join us.

I left msn messages for both of them, for him I told him that I had heard from someone else that he had now teamed up with Alison, I dont mind but he could have been honest with me last week when we spoke. I have not had any reply. For her I just said that I was glad they had hooked up together and hope it goes well. She has replied saying they have not been together long and hopes I am having lots of fun!!

text messages

Last night I exchanged text with Oxo then he phoned me. he wanted me to go to his place for the night but I was already in bed. He kept telling me how sexy my voice is. We have met a few times now. he told me that the only thing wrong with me is that I have kids. We agreed that I would spend the night with him tonight. but as the day has progressed and I was a thinking about it I just knew that this is not what I want.

Since I decided that I no longer want NSA I have been wondering what to do about the lovers I have not yet cut my ties with. I have not been able to make up my mind whether I still want to see Mr Passionate and Oxo. But the more I have thought about it today I have come to the conclusion that even if I was to see Oxo tonight I would not be able to enjoy it as much now as my mind is elsewhere. If my mind is not there and I can't put all of myself into it then it won't be so enjoyable for either of us so there is no point. from now on I feel that I shall just have one lover whether that is Forest or someone else. I have to be true to myself even if whoever I am seeing doesn't mind me seeing others. Luckily Oxo cried off tonight which saved me from having to let him down but I think I am going to have to explain to him how I am feeling.

I have been exchanging text with Forest today, which has cheered me up. Not that we have not been exchanging text most days but it was what he has said that makes me feel better

The visit

I really need a snog but as I am at a kids soccer party have settled for a cuppa and my book x x

I press the send button knowing that my text won’t be read until tomorrow night. I read my book resisting the temptation to check my phone, I know it will stay silent.

Later, much later I am online, I have just finished a post on my blog. I see him sign onto msn but before I can think of saying ‘hi’ he has gone again. I’m feeling low. I check my stats on my blog see someone has linked to me from an unknown blog, click on this to take a peek at who it is. Wow this is a very hardcore site much more so than mine. I begin to feel flushed. While I am checking out this site and others linked to it I see one of my admirers keeps signing in. We have not chatted for weeks. I ask him if he is playing yoyo. We chat for a while, he is getting turned on so am I. I run upstairs and throw off my jeans and t-shirt returning downstairs in my mauve satin chemise. We continue to chat as I begin to play with myself as he is wanking at his end of the line. He says he wishes he could see me but I decline to install the webcam. He says that ok we both agree that imagination can be just as good if not better. I am getting quite wet.

Damn the doorbell who the fuck is that at 11.55pm….. must be #3 son who is meant to be sleeping over at a party, coming home early and finding the door locked. I straighten my chemise don’t want teenage son seeing more than he should. I get to the door the security light shows me that the figure outside is too tall to be lanky #3. The bell rings again while I am deciding what to do. Who could it be at this time of night? Cautiously I open the door a crack to see who it is and what they want. Before I can take in who it is I am grabbed and pulled into an embrace. His mouth on mine before I can protest. He uses his superior height and strength to push me back into the hallway as he steps through the door which he closes behind him. I am still in his arms with his mouth glued to mine as I feel him guiding me into the living room and onto my sofa where we sink into the soft folds of gold material.

After an age he disengages and tells me

You wanted a snog! Was that good enough for you?

He slips out of his leather jacket and takes me in his arms again only this time his hand is already inside my chemise finding me wet. Behind my shoulder I can hear my pc going crazy with nudges. But I don’t care. I am more than happy, now I know who my visitor is. But I leave his side to re-lock the front door. Two of my boys are out for the night, the other two went to bed at about 10pm and I have heard nothing from them since. I return to the sofa and my lover. I have missed him so much and it is so good to have him here.

If I was wet before he arrived I am dripping now. My lover has this effect on me. He told me weeks ago that if our first encounter in private was anything to go by if I happened to be sat on him his balls would certainly get a wash as he makes me cum. I adore this sexy man who I have only recently allowed into my real life. His glasses are placed in a safe place away from arms and legs. His t-shirt and jeans soon discarded as is my chemise. My stepper placed by the door to prevent sleepy boys from intruding. Quickly I tell my admirer that I am suddenly sleepy and going to bed. I close down the pc for the night.

Mmmm now to carry on where we left off. I am so turned on by my lover but more so that he has arrived at my door like this. There is no time for chat we cant keep our hands off each other. Our mouths too are busy kissing, licking and sucking. Wow he does things with my nipples I could only dream about before. I am so hungry for this man who is beside me, on me, in me, I don’t think my appetite for him can ever be sated. I just want to devour him so completely. His hands are in my hair, now on my breasts, stroking my inner thigh, feeling inside me. Please don’t stop I want this so much I want to yell out

YES YES YES and Yes, just in case you were not sure YESSSSSSSSSSS

But of course I don’t, there are boys asleep in the room above. Instead I nibble his ear whispering how much I want him. OMG I want him so much, I want him as my friend, my lover, my rock. But more than anything I want him inside me. But he makes me wait. He uses his fingers and tongue to take me to heights that I didn’t know I could reach. I play with his rock hard manhood, Using my hands, my tongue I play with him I taste him, mmmm his cock is so lovely. I want to straddle him, impaling myself on him. But he won’t allow this. He wants us to get as much pleasure as we can before he slips inside me. He wants me, he wants me to want him more than anything. I do yes I do, please let us do this now. But no I must wait, again and again he brings me to incredible orgasm using his tongue and fingers. I suck his cock bringing him to completion as I swallow every drop. We relax into each other’s arms, stroking, smiling, I am so happy I feel I could burst. This time he won’t get away from me before I get to feel his lovely cock inside me. We kiss and cuddle, his hands wandering over my naked skin just as mine are on his. As he pulls me closer to him I feel his fingers probing, they are wet from my juice, he finds my ass and gently inserts a finger, ecstasy, I love this, my hand slips down into his lap to begin stroking, teasing, I love it when I feel his length jerk involuntarily as I tease him. He grows harder and I climb into his lap encouraging him to continue teasing my ass with his finger I slip onto his hard rod. I am now impaled in the most delicious way. The more his finger probes the more I ride his cock, my actions getting wilder as his finger slips deeper and deeper inside me. I clamp my mouth to his to keep me from screaming my pleasure for all to hear. Besides I need to have his tongue deep inside my mouth as my tongue runs around the inside of his mouth feeling his teeth his tongue as it tangles with mine. Deeper I draw him into me now. I must make us so close together that we become one. I need him inside me his hard cock inside my cunt rubbing against my swollen clit as his finger still probes inside my ass rubbing against his cock and his tongue gets sucked deep inside my mouth. I cum all over him time and time again, I feel as though all conscious thought is slipping from me, all I know is that I am in heaven and I don’t want it to stop any time soon. Then I feel it for the first time as he shoots his load deep inside me, he shudders and his face creases into that startled look men sometimes have at the moment of release. I collapse in his lap as we hug, when I am sure the last shuddering is done I ease myself off him as gently as I can. Wrapping my arms around him kissing him oh so softly. I feel a sudden need for sleep, he covers my face with gentle kisses, my forehead, the tip of my nose my eyelids, everywhere finally planting a lingering kiss on my lips. He moves away slipping my chemise back over my head and shoulders he pulls on his own clothes and bids me good night. He must go before my children find us. He must also get back home as his own family will be arriving early

Good night my darling please come again xxxx


It’s 3am and I’m awake……..have been for a while now
It’s no good I can’t help it
My mind keeps going over it
The feel of your touch
The taste of your kisses
The look in your eyes

I lay on my back and I want you there above me pressing me into the mattress.
Kissing me holding me
I turn on to my front……..I never lie like this
I remember you under me as I lay over you
As we held each other in our embrace
Our eyes locked together

I remember how your fingers worked inside me
Making me wet and then wetter still
I remember how you used your tongue to send me to heaven
How you licked and sucked until I felt I could take no more
I remember how I wanted you
I remember not wanting to let go

The feel of your cock in my hand
The sensations in my fingers as I stroked
I remember the taste
As I used my tongue
As I took you within my mouth
As you spilled your seed for me

It’s 3am and I am alone here
My bed feels empty even though
There has only been one time
You were here with me
I yearn for your touch
I long for your taste

It’s 11am now and I am driving
My mind returns
To those hours
In the deepest of the night
When I was, wanting you
How I want you still now

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Morning Glory

Morning Glory
Something wakes me, I get up and go to the bathroom, when I come back my phone is beeping to alert me that I have a text waiting to be read. I check the time 5.45am I open my phone I am excited.

6.30am ok?

I will be there

Quickly back to the bathroom for a quick wash no time for shower yet. Put on the brown skirt and top I had laid out last night just in case. With cream lace bra and panties underneath. Creep out of the house trying not to awaken the kids. Lock the door behind me and run to my car as quietly as I can in my haste. I don’t want to waste a single moment. Soon I am on the motorway with the sun in my mirror as I speed along. I have checked my map over and over to make sure I know where I am going. I pull off the motorway onto the smaller road, I know these roads most of the way, soon I find the turning it isn’t long before I find the car park. There is a car already parked I pull up next to it, the driver grins and gets out he comes round to my door. Before I can get out of my seat he is crouching beside me, he pulls my face towards him and plants a gentle kiss upon my hungry lips. He smells of soap and toothpaste, mmmm I love these scents that smack of cleanliness. He helps me from my car, once I have locked the door he takes my hand leading me through the trees to a group of holly bushes about 60 or 70 meters from the path. We circle the bushes to where there is a gap wide enough for us to pass with out getting caught up on the prickles. To my astonishment there is a space about 10 foot across and laid upon the ground is a thick blanket and some cushions there is a bag next to the blanket.

I turn to my companion he has a great big grin on his face.

I thought you would be pleased

I reach up to put my arms around his neck drawing him to me for a big kiss. We sink to our knees still kissing, his hands are inside my top drawing it up over my head exposing my lightly tanned breasts as they spill out of my lace bra. Before I can think about it he has flicked the clasp releasing my breasts from their fragile cups. Stooping he takes both breasts in his hands bringing his lips to first one nipple then the other as I lean back giving him maximum access to his prize. I feel the dampness I had experienced during my drive of anticipation of this moment increasing. I know with certainty that when his fingers begin to explore my panties he will find them already wet. I don’t have long to wait, he starts to explore inside my skirt pulling my panties to one side dipping a finger into my wetness he withdraws offering his finger to my lips. As I lick his finger he kisses me with his wet finger between our lips as we share my juice. My hands are now exploring his body as I pull at his t-shirt then his belt. He shifts his position to allow me to undo his belt then his jeans. On this occasion he has dared to go commando. He draws me back onto my feet as he slips out of his jeans and helps me out of my skirt and panties. We are both naked with just the breeze and the sun upon our flesh. This feels incredible and my excitement mounts. He pushes me to the ground placing a cushion under my buttocks raising my hips towards his advancing face. He buries his face between my thighs, I feel a finger inside me as his tongue begins to work on my clit, first licking then sucking. I just love the way he does this. I get carried away on waves of pleasure as I grab hold of his free hand. My other hand holding onto the thick woollen blanket bunching the material in my fist. I can’t help myself I am moaning with pleasure. Somewhere at the edge of my mind I am aware of rustling in the bushes and birdsong in the trees. An eternity of pleasure and he emerges from my thighs, its his turn now I push him onto his back as I crawl between his legs taking hold of his hard cock, I begin to lick his balls then move up to his shaft licking the entire length several times, taking my time when I reach his swollen head lapping up every trace of precum.

When I am sure he has had as much teasing as he can take for the moment I take his head into my mouth, just a little way at first then deeper until I almost gag he is so deep inside my throat. I enjoy this so much I lose all track of time. I have no idea how long I devote my attention to this beautiful and tasty cock before he pulls me off him telling me this is so intense he needs me to stop. I crawl back up his body as he fumbles in his bag for a condom. Once this is in place I climb on top of him impaling my body on his shaft. Leaning back as far as I can I ride him as he inserts his thumb into my labia. He rubs my clit making me moan loudly as I cum washing his balls with copious amounts of my juice. Now we are both moaning as we lock eyes gazing at each other, watching our expressions change as we ride out our journey to heaven together. I cannot hold this position for too long my legs are not strong enough for me to keep going. I collapse on my lover as he rolls me over onto my back pulling my legs up into the air so that he has one foot on either side of his head. He pumps inside me I am lost in oblivion with just the sounds of his balls slapping against my buttocks, my moans and his panting. Oh god help me I want to burst, this is what it has all been about, this pleasure, this man who knows me so well. Please don’t stop let this be how it will be for us. I want these feelings to go on for ever yet I don’t think I can take much more. Do I want him to stop or keep going, my body doesn’t know, my mind doesn’t know. My body is screaming

’stop now, don’t stop, keep going, no I can’t take it, I don’t want this to end’

My mind is just so confused it goes blank letting the pleasure wash over me. Then he has stopped he is pulling away from me. I am alert now, why has he stopped I need him inside me again please!!! But he has other ideas. The condom is discarded as he climbs over me he places his cock over my face as he buries his face back between my thighs. Wow Its been ages since I did this, I pull his cock down into my throat as I feel him lapping up my juice I explore him with my tongue trying to swallow him as deep as I can I love the feel of his cock jerking in my mouth as I fondle his balls. Then he gives a couple of hard jerks and I feel the first spurt as he cums in my mouth. This is followed by several more spurts of hot liquid as he fills my mouth. Some I swallow the rest I savour waiting until he has climbed off me offering his lips for a kiss as I share the rest of his cum with him. This is the first time he has done this, I can see by his face that he loves it. We collapse into each other’s arms as we murmur how good this has been and we must do this again soon. After a short rest he reaches into his bag for some wipes so we can clean up then he pulls out his clean clothes. Silently we both dress, me in the brown skirt and top which I can see he admires. He in his black trousers, blue shirt and tie. I run my brush through my hair. We are both ready to start our day. He in his office me back in my place of domesticity. We kiss passionately before making our way back to our cars. There are other cars here now and there are dogs barking in the distance. A man passing us gives us a knowing wink. One final embrace as we reach the cars then off to our separate lives. Both with a secret smile on our lips and a twinkle in our eyes. We will talk later, but its good bye for now.

Posted by Sexy Vixen at 6/03/2007 02:25:00 AM
Labels: balls, cock, licking, pleasure, sucking
Lonely Gal said...
Wow! How HOT! lucky YOU!
03 June, 2007 12:55
Lady in red said...
thanx LG
04 June, 2007 00:41
Waynecoff said...
nice one, xx
06 June, 2007 06:40
Cherrie said...
That day at work must have gone by quickly for both of you! Or slowly, if you had another date behind the holly bushes at 5 p.m.!


I have a tendency to get paranoid.

If I am driving,I start to get paranoid when the car behind me takes the same turnings as me more than once. The longer it goes on the worse my imagination gets. Sometimes I think I am being followed because I abscent mindedly did something wrong in my driving. Other times I think its my ex husband having me followed. All stupid and I get such a feeling of relief when the other vehicle goes a different way or on the motorway goes past me. when I was travelling to Blah there was a recovery vehicle that pulled out everytime I did, then pulled in again everytime I did until eventually they overtook me. This must have gone on for all of 5 minutes but felt more like an hour.

today I feel sad, today I feel unloved, today I feel there must be something wrong with me. I know it is me being paranoid again. Why do I feel like this. 24hrs ago I was happy. 24hrs ago I was in the arms of a man who has made me happy even when I have felt ill for the past 10 days. (Dr says its viral and may take another 2 weeks before I am feeling better). Since leaving my side this man who has made me happy, has barely managed to do more than send a text telling me that sleep is good for me. I know I am being impatient. He has work, family and others in his life. I am not his top priority. I had got used to the sleep well text each night and the how are you this morning text. What has happened to those?

It now seems that maybe I should just shut myself off. recently I had an encounter with another man who just cut himself off after. different situation, different man, different feelings, different hopes. Same result........... thin air.....ok not quite thin air

I have been getting too introspective, looking for reasons where perhaps there are none. Is it me? is it my home (I know I have not touched it while im ill). Did I say something? did I not say something I should have done? Did I let things go too far, or not far enough? Maybe I should have left things as they were. I was happy with our friendship as it was.

why has this happened recently, even Oxo has taken 2 weeks to make any contact with me since we last met. There is one man I can rely on but its probably best I dont invite him round until I am better. right now Mr Passionate would break me in two.

A little TLC

It's amazing what some TLC from the right person can do.

Now I'm exhausted so I'm going for a sleep


thinking about you

I have been thinking about you a lot since last night and our very brief text chat. I can't figure it out.

All these months we have been chatting online. You know so much about me, you put up with my moans about life and men. You listen to my moods. when I am feeling low you tell me I am funny. You have been my confidante. You made it clear you wanted to meet. I ignored your hints to swap mobile numbers. You know all about the men I have seen in the months we have talked. You read my blog so know as much as everyone else only you know more because I tell you more. I didn't know how I would feel if we met. would you still like the person that I am in real life?

When we met it just confirmed for me what a lovely man you are. I couldn't believe you wanted to see me again the next day. It was lovely walking through the woods with you. When you took me in your arms and kissed me, I didn't want it to stop. I knew we didn't have much time I needed to get to the school. I really wanted more time with you but you know that.

It worries me. you are aware that my needs are changing. But are you prepared for that. I know you, like me are single and see other women.

How would you feel if I wanted more from you ?

I so want to see you again but I am so afraid.

walk in the woods

He saw them walking down the gravel path towards the duck ponds, she is short with wavy dark hair wearing a loose white top over a lurid pink mini skirt and flip flops that make that flipping sound as she walks. The man is much taller with short brown hair, jeans and black t-shirt. They are laughing and holding hands. They stop by the railings gazing down at the stagnant water where a fallen tree trunk is preventing the water from flowing over the stepping stones down to the next level and the next pond. They chat pointing at things they see then he takes her in his arms and kisses her. She reaches up and kisses him back with her arms around his neck. They kiss for an age before moving off along the path still chatting nineteen to the dozen. They stop again and kiss some more then they head off the main path along a smaller trail leading into the trees. He follows keeping his distance. They stop again the man bends his head down to hers kissing her bright pink lips. Their passions are rising and a trail of moisture is trickling down the inside of her leg. From his hiding place he can just see where the sun is shining on her moisture as it slowly creeps down from under the hem of her skirt. She is standing with her legs apart pulling him down to her. She clings to him as she softly moans into his chest as another trickle of moisture appears on her leg. They giggle as his hand finds the hem of her skirt and disappears. The man finds her wet panties and she giggles again. Before setting off again, arm in arm back to their cars. She has to collect her child from school. He kisses her goodbye and they go their separate ways.

The next afternoon he sees her arrive at the same place. But wait she is with a different man this one is shorter, in jeans and a blue t-shirt. Today she is wearing her black mini skirt with an orange top. She likes her bright colours, likes to be noticed. They chat as they walk. The man helps her across the stepping stones, before they continue along the path settling for a bench in the sun where they sit watching the ducks as they chat. He can’t hear what they are saying, this couple he watches but he sees them smile and turn to each other their faces just inches apart. This is where they will kiss, but they don’t, she turns away and they continue to chat. He sees her answer her phone, this isn’t it. They chat again. A few more minutes of chatting and she picks up her phone flips it open, quickly shuts it then opens it again. This is what he has been waiting for, her signal.

He leaves his hiding place and makes his way to the path a little way from them. He begins to run, runs towards them, the couple look up startled at the footsteps, she screams, he is puzzled.

It’s my husband she screeches, run before he gets here. The man runs off just in time to hear the angry voices.

I knew I would find you here you dirty whore, you can’t stop yourself can you?

What do you expect you are never home

Once the man is out of view she grabs his hand and they run off into the trees.
He leads her to his hiding place where he has made a nest for her. He lays her down on his coat and strips her black lace panties from her thighs. Already he can see the glistening dampness between her legs. He turns her over onto her knees tying her wrists to a nearby tree trunk he had earlier dragged into position. He lifts her skirt and slaps her arse. He stops to admire the red print of his fingers on her skin. Leaning over her shoulder he tells her, how much she is adored this slut of his. He had promised her that today she would not return from her walk in the woods frustrated.

Today she would feel the fingers of her man in her cunt as he probed and rubbed in just the way she loves. As he feels her release her juice he lowers his head so that he can lick her lapping up her wetness. Today she would know what it feels like to be fucked from behind as she is tied to the tree. He balls up her silk scarf he had been carrying in his pocket, slipping it between her lips to help her stay silent. He couldn’t let her go home frustrated again. It was a good idea of hers to pretend he was her husband. If he was her husband he wouldn’t let her out to meet all these other men. He wonders how she would feel if she knew the plans he had for her at his house. Her collar and lead, the whip with its red leather handle. Matching wrist and ankle straps ready for her to try out. How would she react to the clover leaf nipple clamps. This was a start anyway she had allowed him to tie her wrists so readily. He had seen the spurt of moisture when she had realised what he was doing.

He licked his lips hungrily at last he could taste her!

Busy or not

I have had several conversations in the last 24 hours or so about how busy I am.

Mostly I am busy on msn, text or email. Although I chat to a lot of guys and most of them want to get me into bed. My sexual life isnt as busy as it seems. yes there are lots of guys wanting to see me but it isnt turning out that I am having sex all over the place as it perhaps seems. I have been doing some thinking about this and decided its time to have a clear out.

1)Mr Passionate mmmmm lovely I may have only seen him 2x this year but we are hoping to get together next week there is no way I'm saying no to him :-)

2) foxy (SL) my partner ....hes got his own things going on and we have not had sex together at all this year in fact we have only seen each other 2x with others.......I'm going to let that one drop unless he decides to make more of an effort. Sad we were good together

3)My Knight my my adorable dearest man it is proving difficult to get time together but it will happen

4) Gordon my other partner.......I'm not sure hes really for me. The distance I think is too great for us to get together often, hes also very pushy but very limited to times he can play ie early evening until 7.30ish. I have arranged to see him next thursday But I may call it a day. He desperately wants us to have group fun but if I am not sure of him myself how can I sell the idea of him to others. I have just read some messages for us from another couple and I just felt it was wrong I cant answer the messages I have no inclination to do so. I know when I get online in the morning I shall have some instructions from him about answering the messages.

5)Dark Master we have not met yet, there have been text and im conversations even telephone calls. but each time we agree to meet one of us cancels. I have not been sure about this set up anyway. Now contact is becoming more and more sporadic I think he is going to be another one that I say good bye to.

6) Lotto I met lotto about a month or so ago. I was suffering from a bad headache at the time. Yes I did like him but although he was sat facing me on the seat he was moving further away so I felt he didnt really want to be there. Speaking to him a few weeks later he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to do lots more than just chat. He wanted to see me again, he wants me to go to his place so we can act out a fantasy of his. He doesnt seem to be all that bothered about arranging when to see me again. He has told me he has cancelled his membership of the website and hes only interested in me but then says he must reiterate hes not looking for a relationship. I dont think he knows what he wants. I dont think he has seen anyone else since his divorce. I think this one is a slow burner. Not sure what to do maybe flip a coin?

7) Chief met him a few weeks ago much younger, fit in both senses of the word. he wants to see me again, but last night all he kept on about apart from really wanting to fuck me again. he desperately wants me to organise some group sex with him. He was very insistent on this. If this is the only thing he wants although he says not, he can go swing , fit or not. I hadn't heard from him since a few days after the last time we met. But he says hes been away on holiday.

8)JJ he had decided he couldnt see me after all as he has been seeing someone for about 6 months (about as long as we have been chatting)and it seems more serious than he had thought. but suddenly hes deciding shes not what he wants for a long term relationship. so he does want to see me now. although each time I am free hes with her. Its make up your mind time for him. If he doesnt put his words into action he will be relegated to friend only.

9) Oxo I have met him a couple of times in the last few weeks. I have not really blogged about him. I like him and the sex is good but I think he will soon have me bored to tears. I shall probably see him a few more times but not many .......he isnt local either which is a bind especially as I left my sunglasses in his car and had to buy new ones.

10) Forest forest is my blue eyed friend who I have been chatting to for about 6 months and finally met on tuesday and again on wednesday. we will be seeing more of each other. I think I was afraid of meeting him because I enjoyed his friendship although I have know all the time that he really wanted to meet me but never pushed it.

11) mystery visitor mmm well it was very nice having my visitor last week. Logistically it isnt going to be a regular thing but it may not be the last time he visits.

I think what I am aiming for here is as before just a few regular lovers, only my current lovers have not been very regular of late. Maybe the coming months will see a change in this. so my conclusion I shall still see Mr Passionate, my Knight, Oxo few more times and Forest. With the possible additions of one or more out of JJ, Lotto or chief. my gut feeling is that out of those three, JJ is the most likely if he gets his act together.


I spoke to JJ this afternoonan told him its make up your mind time. we both had a couple of spare hours this afternoon so we decided to meet up for a chat to see if we both want to take this any further. We had a nice walk and chatted sitting on a bench in the sun watching the ducks on the nearby pond. He does want to see me again. I have told him to give it some thought and let me know as I am having a clear out he understands.

I have emailed Gordon and text Dark master to give them the bad news.

lovely suprise

What a lovely surprise. I was sat here waiting for my knight not knowing if he would arrive. It all depends how long his business meeting lasts. Sometimes he is finished by 12.00 and could be at my place in 15 minutes giving us 2 1/2hrs before my teenage boys get home from school. But other times like last week he isn’t finished until 2.30pm which is no good. He checked with me on Monday that I am still available on Wednesday lunchtime. I confirmed that I was. We have not spoken since as he was busy the rest of the day and I was out yesterday. By the time it got to 1.30pm I realised that if he didn’t arrive in the next few minutes he wouldn’t be coming. There would not be enough time to make it worth while. He feels that our lust for each other is so great and it has been so long since we last met that an hour would not be enough to scratch the surface of our needs. I was starting to feel fed up and even a little tearful, not helped by the niggling headache I had had all morning. I wrote my dearest man an email telling him my thoughts of the last hours.

My mobile had been silent all morning and no matter how many times I picked it up it just wouldn’t do anything, no calls and no text. But suddenly it sprang to life

I presume the lady is being serviced well by her knight and that gazing into the deep blue again will have to wait for another time

The lady is sat alone

Oh no is there time for me to get to you before school x

Do you fancy a walk I need some air

40 minutes later I stepped from my car at the local beauty spot I had chosen to find him already there. He certainly hadn’t wasted any time as he lives 40 minutes drive away.

We spent the next hour wandering along woodland paths holding hands stopping every now and again looking out across one of the many ponds, kissing, chatting. My headache vanished with the first kisses. More wandering along more paths, we found ourselves in a more secluded part of the wood and the kisses became more passionate, he didn’t have to do anything more than kiss me and let his hands wander over my back and ass, I could feel the spasms deep inside me and the wetness seep from me. The nearer his hands got to the hem of my skirt I was thinking that at any moment he is going to notice that I am wet with anticipation. I felt the drip travel down the inside of my leg then his hand was there and another spasm as I hid my face in his chest. Him, holding me close with one hand and delving under my skirt with the other. Mmmmmm how cruel, that I only had a few minutes before heading back to my car in time for the school run.

As I said yesterday this is one friendship which will never be the same again. We have promised to see each other again and soon. The text messages have gone back and forth since returning home.


I couldn’t have predicted how today would go. Right now I am sitting on my bed with the sun shining through the window feeling happy. Today two friendships have changed, moved, onto another level. Both these friendships are with men who I have been talking to online since about October last year. Both these men probably know a lot more about me as a person than most people do. Both these friendships have been platonic until now although I have discussed sexuality with both of them, both mine and their own. Until about March we corresponded purely online then we exchanged mobile numbers. I don’t remember exactly but it must have been at around the same time with both men. Since then we have text as well as msn. Although with one of them there have been many telephone calls also. I met both men (online) through my quest to meet others for group sex. Both men are no longer with the partner they were with at the time. My partner (Foxy) is busy doing his own thing, I feel that, that partnership is coming to an end. We still talk and he still wants me to organise meets for us but nothing seems to be happening.

Today I had a lunchtime drink with a very lovely, sweet man, I enjoyed his company and I loved gazing into his gentle blue eyes. As he was leaving to return to his office for the afternoon, he kissed me. Very gentle kisses but mmm very sweet. The feel of his hand on my waist and his gentle kisses was very nice. He tells me that he has a day off work tomorrow and if my knight is unable to meet me he would willingly take his place. Sigh!
We have exchanged text since I got back home. I shall definitely want to see him again and as a bonus he is single.

I returned to my car shaded by the canopy of a chestnut tree. My mobile buzzed it was my other friend. We chatted as he relieved himself in the comfort of his bed. In the past we have had some very explicit conversations but this call was something different. I am getting used to the idea of phoning a couple of my prospective lovers and allowing them to hear me cum. But this was the first time I had listened to a man cum over the phone as I told him what I would like to do. I enjoyed this experience more than I had ever thought I would. After our call I had to drive home, I hadn’t gone very far when I found I was completely turned on as my mind went over the conversation that had gone along with the heavy breathing from both of us. I desperately wanted to get home and up to my bed so that I could play with myself, I even thought about calling him to return the favour. But by the time I arrived at the house #2 & 3 were home from school.

As I was locking my car my neighbour arrived home with her baby (her 5th). We chatted for a while, and she told me who my ex is seeing. A few weeks ago he had called me saying

I expect you heard who my girlfriend is.

I hadn’t and I didn’t and don’t care so long as he leaves me alone. When I heard who she is I couldn’t help laugh. I’m sure she’s fine she hasn’t had the easiest life her grown up daughter is a victim of Downs Syndrome. The mother is not very bright herself but I do feel a little sorry for her but not much. I have known for years that she liked my ex he was one of the people in the pub who would talk to her. I was always polite to her but didn’t encourage her, I found her quite annoying. I won’t be telling my boys who their father is seeing. I know what their reaction would be. (horrified). Later I walked up to our local shops for a few things. Whilst there I met one of the men my ex shares a house with. It was the first time this man has spoken to me in about 2 years. He also told me who the girlfriend is, saying that he doesn’t know what he’s doing with her. He also said that he can understand why I wanted rid of my ex, he took him in as they were friends and he didn’t want to see him out on the street. But he is a nuisance and gets very drunk, but they don’t see much of him at the moment as he is always at her place.

When I was walking along the path to our house after collecting my youngest from school he said

why are you doing that?

Doing what ?


Because it’s a lovely warm sunny day and I’m happy.

I am looking forward to the new opportunities that May seems to be bringing.

Last night I also had a long coversation with Chief (much younger than me) he is really keen to meet up again. I had a message from Mr Passionate wanting to see me next week. I also have JJ champing at the bit to see me now he has decided that he doesnt want an excusive relationship with his girlfriend. Gordon is pushing me to organise a group meet I am seeing him next thursday.Lotto has also been in touch wanting to see me again. I think I am going to be a very busy girl. I haven't even taken into account that my Dark Master still wants to meet me and I am hoping to see my knight every wednesday for a few weeks.