Thursday, 18 October 2007

wednesday

wednesday was both good and bad

it started off with forest chatting asking if I ever sleep. we chatted for a bit then the conversation changed and I told him that had we been in the same room on tues evening I would have slapped him. the gloves came off then and we both said things that made me realise that he will never win any prizes for being tactful. the more he tried to explain himself the worse it got. I didn't pull any punches either. I made it quite clear how he had made me feel. This time if we had been in the same room it would not have been a slap in the face but a well placed knee. I was ok but pissed off. It seems that I am worth more than NSA and should just go out and find what I am looking for. but in the next breath grrrrr no I can't bring myself to relay what he said. I don't think he even realised what he was implying.

anyway off to work. It was quite quiet for a change and it soon became apparent that I would not only clear my workload but with plenty of time to spare. I decided it would be a good time to take the extra hour they owed me for staying an extra hour the week before last. Apart from anything else I was finding that I kept welling up with tears. It seems that no matter how much I told myself that Forest and what he said didn't matter, it did. I found myself thinking about how I go from one extreme to the other and don't know how to find the middle ground. Forest and Neptune are prime examples of the extremes. with forest I wore my heart on my sleeve. I let my heart rule my head. With Neptune I put up barriers, I tried to play it cool, perhaps so cool that I could appear to be cold and uninterested. I was feling miserable by the time I got home.

I came online sure there would be a message from Neptune, he had been sending me replies at around 9am shortly after I leave home for work. there was a message and as I began to reply, JJ began to chat. I am afraid that I was being a wet blanket but he soon had me giggling. we talked about Neptune who he thinks is odd. I thought that about forest (as did most of you) so that doesn't help much. he asked if we have met yet. I told him I don't even know if Neptune is even really interested, perhaps he only replies to my emails to be polite. He persuaded me to ask Neptune if he wants to meet as he had mentioned it once weeks ago but I hadn't replied, (I was trying not to be too eager.) so having already asked him the question about karaoke I sent another email asking if he still wanted to meet. I know he has read these emails over 12 hours ago. I know he was online before I went to bed last night. it is now 8.38am and still no reply. so I guess thats a no.

I went off to my writing class feeling in good spirits. I asked my tutor June if she thought I should take my stories to Rosie's wine bar as dj keeps telling me. But she has never heard of it. I told her of the magazines that dj thinks I should send my stories to. She agreed, but she also told me off. I am too quiet and she is going to start picking on me more to read my work out to the class. I explained about being shy but no she wants me to read my work out and says it will get easier. I nearly forgot one of my friends who had been quiet for weeks text me several times last night just before my class. I have promised to catch up later.

Oh and I have agreed to be a guinea pig for a certain blogger with her new online service. As of today I have to write down what I eat in the special diary she has forwarded. so far today one cup of tea and a bowl of cornflakes with semi skimmed milk.

Now I have to scoot or I will be late for work. Maybe when I get home I will find a reply from Neptune.

12 comments:

Graffiti said...

Go with the heart ruling the head,

the only way to live life.

Graffiti

Anonymous said...

well i think there needs to be a little context all you who read this blog regularly, i am not one these days, will probably be surprised from what LIR has said that the conversation she mentioned with Forest ended with words like 'i am glad we can still be friends' and a big kiss. So for a first visit for eons i was surprised to find me slagged off. Forest

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

It was obviously something you said before that Forest, that upset her.

Lady, forest can't see the forest through the trees.

Chopski said...

Do you ever sleep?

Lady in red said...

graffiti I do tend to do that but it just lands me in trouble.

anon....I am sorry you feel I have slagged you off and that it was out of context. would you like me to copy and paste the hurtful things you said on here so everyone can decide for themselves.

chopper yes I do sleep between about 2am and 6am

Graffiti said...

But LIR,

What is the alternative?

If you live life by your head then that is only half a life.

By the heart is going to be a fuller life for sure

Graffiti

Anonymous said...

why not

Emma said...

Ooo Lady go careful here darl....don't get involved..xxx

her indoors said...

lady dont let the trees wind you up. hope you eat something else later!

ronjazz said...

Boy...ole Forest needs a lesson taught to him, doesn't he? First, in how to put your point across in a blog without IDENTIFYING YOURSELF IN AN ANONYMOUS COMMENT. That alone shows a 'grand' kind of thought.

Sir, do your best to keep private matters away from places like this. It only serves to exacerbate and upset. This woman is much smarter than you seem to give her credit for.

Lady in red said...

graffiti.......I made the decision a couple of years ago to live life to the full and accepted that that includes getting hurt.

some days it isnt so easy to live by.

emma thanx

HI thanx for your concern and yes I did eat more

ron you are one in a million xx

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