Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Interviewing

Yesterday I on my round of blogs I found that Rhea has done an interview of her son's and posted their replies and her comments. I thought it would be interesting to try these questions out on my own sons. I thought it would be interesting to see how each of them approached each question, would there be any patterns, any similar responses, would they be predictable.

So here are the questions and the different replies. (The all know that the others have answered the same questions but none of them know what any of the others answered, I shall show them later).

Let's start out easy. What's your favourite food?
Chicken burgers, ice cream cornets
Any type of pasta
Toe nails
Spaghetti bolognese

What's your favourite thing to do with friends?
Trampoline, talking and watching films
To do sports or just reminisce
squabble
Just hang out with them talking over a few beers

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Either a musician or footballer
Wealthy, Important Company Director, someone who has money to invest in business ventures
Toothpaste maker
I want to be proud of the things I have done in life

What's your favourite TV show?
Zack and Cody
At the moment ‘I am Alan Partridge’
Don’t have a favourite……scuzz
Lost


What's your favourite thing to do with your family?
watch films
Just being together
laughing
watch a film or play a game

What's something you would like to do with your family?
playing games but we never do
Visit places together
go abroad
go abroad somewhere

You are sad when?
when I’m bored!!
I am never sad, never! I am known for never being upset or angry
something sad happens
when I don’t have much to look forward to in the coming weeks

You are happy when?
I’m not bored
basically when something makes me laugh, jokes, funny stories
something good happens
visiting new places and seeing new things with my friends

If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
to be amazing at my favourite instrument that I don’t have yet, be really good at football, for Nipper (our cat) to never die
other than an unlimited bank account and immortality I don’t know
more money, good exam results, playstation 3 comfortable living for my family,
to be successful in my pursuits and unlimited air miles so I can just go places

What does your mum want you to do?
Clean my room
achieve my potential, do something to make her proud and look after everyone else
do well in my exams
be happy

What was your scariest dream?
I have two. My first when I was about 5, I was on a spaceship there were 3 monsters chasing me pink, yellow and turquoise. The other my mum and dad abandoned me at a pub and didn’t come back.
its not really scary, running late for school, the gate was blocked by 100 sheep wearing PE kit, I was worried about being told off for being late so ran round to a hole in fence
ET weight lifting …..still haunts me
had a recurring dream on the bridge where we used to watch the regatta, I was there alone and fell over the bridge there were sharks underneath as soon as I hit the bottom I woke up

If you were handed a million dollars today, what would you do with it?
Change it into a million pounds then buy everything I wanted.
Put it in a high interest savings account just live off the interest but not touch the million dollars
Get it changed to pounds use it on things that I need
Clear our family’s outstanding debts and invest the money into a business and some in savings

some predictable answers here but also some less predictable. I am sure you can work out which of my boys gave which answers. (If you are not sure, you can find their ages on my side bar under 'The Cast'. If you couldn't tell one of them was quite reluctant to begin with but after a while got a bit more enthusiastic.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Too many

I have too many posts in my head right now so I shall have to save some. But to begin with I shall just start the evening off with what should be a fairly short post possibly followed by one or two more later in the evening.




Yesterday Vi mentioned that she would have something for me on her blog later. So last night I found my way over to her place and found what she meant. She has awarded badges to bloggers who have survived visits to Blah. It is a year since I was there along with Angie, Goro (who has given up blogging) and Middy. It was a very drunken night which ended up with me spending what felt like hours hugging the big white telephone in Vi's bathroom. rather than going into a repeat of the evening here is my account of a great time from last year. Having just read it back through for the first time in ages there were bits I had forgotten. But one thing I shall say is that anyone who gets the chance to visit Vi in Blah is in for a great time and all the locals are cool too.


So back to the awards (which cannot be passed on they have to be earnt). Giggles has helped Vi to create different awards for the bloggers who have survived a visit to Blah. Vi wasn't quite sure which one I should have first saying that perhaps this was mine





But has now decided after consulting with Joie that it should possibly be this one which I share with Angie aka Fussy Bitch now known as Angela la la.

you will need to read my account of events before deciding which of these awards suits me best.

Monday, 28 April 2008

My Decision explains a lot

A few months ago I wrote a piece for the charity blog book being compiled by a group of fellow bloggers. I don't know if my short piece has been included in the book but I have decided to post it here (it has been residing on Lady in Red Writes for several months). Romeo read it when it was first completed and felt honoured to have been allowed to read it as he got a great insight into the woman I am from this. The reason I am posting it here now is because I have a fair few newish readers who may find it of interst and by way of an explanation of who I am.


MY DECISION



It has been a couple of years now and I don’t have any regrets. Some time ago, I think it was the middle of last summer my mother asked the question.

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‘If you had known how hard it was going to be would you still have done it?

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’I consider this carefully before replying. I am not sure why as I knew the answer, there was never any doubt in my mind.

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‘Yes most definitely, it was the best thing I could have done.’Indeed it was the only thing I could have done.

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I had given it my best shot. 19 years of my life I had given to that man. But the day had come when I realised that enough was enough. He couldn’t understand it when I told him I didn’t want to continue living with him. He couldn’t work out what was wrong with me. We had a good marriage didn’t we, we never argued did we?

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He was right in a way, as until the last few months we had very rarely had a row. Firstly he was never around to have a row with as he was always either at work, pub or asleep. (the perfect marriage in some ways).

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Secondly we never rowed because, when he was around he made me feel so useless and weak that I never dared to argue with him and on the occasions when I tried to vent my anger on him he would turn it around to be my fault. Like the many Saturday mornings when he came home from shopping. (I wasn’t allowed to shop I spent too much, whereas he always bought bargains – you know the deals where if you buy this you get that free or the end of date things). We had a freezer full of things we would never use and a fridge full of things that had to be eaten in one day but nothing for the rest of the week.

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He often came in with a mood on, this would make me grumpy, (no one likes to be moaned at for no reason). Because I was now grumpy he would complain about my mood and stomp off to the pub.

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During all these years he would tell me that I was‘fat, ugly, useless with a brain like a sieve’

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Now after so many years of being told this it becomes hard to believe otherwise. I believe that if you get married you should try to make the marriage work. I was not going to give up easily. I had to try to make it work. Besides I had nowhere to go and 4 children to consider. Because I had done such a good job of trying to make our marriage work he had no idea that it wasn’t working. The end of our marriage came as a big shock to him. For me it never really was a marriage. I had never been in love with him. We had never courted as such, just fell into a relationship as when we met we were both getting over broken hearts and needed someone to turn to. If I hadn’t got pregnant the marriage would never have happened.

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Now, though we are divorced and I have never been happier. Financially we were never really solvent as a couple. Does anyone know a solvent alcoholic? But we did have two wages coming in, his full time wage and my part time wage (part time!! I worked longer hours than he did for half the money).

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Now it is just me and the boys, I am the only one bringing any money into the home. It has been a struggle and there are days when we have to keep our coats on because it’s too darn cold and I don’t have any spare cash to buy gas. (Yes I have had to get a key meter for both the gas and electricity). There are days when we have just 2 slices of bread and no milk. But we manage, I have not killed any of them off yet.

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Are we better off now? Financially no we are worse off but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it isn’t going to be like this forever and now that I have a full time job that I enjoy things can only get better.

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However we as a family unit are much happier. Gone are the days of dreading the door opening, wondering if he is in one of his soppy drunk moods or in a nasty bad tempered mood that has everyone either cowering behind a cushion or hiding away in the bedrooms. Gone are the days where everyone had to be silent or risk his bellow of

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‘Stop that noise’ or ‘be quiet’

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In the past two years there has very rarely been a cross word spoke between any of the five of us. It took me a few months to realise that he was never going to be here again chastising me for staying up late or reading when I should be doing something else. I can have friends here if I choose. (visitors were forbidden when he was here).

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Our house rings with the sound of music (not always to my taste, teenagers!!) and laughter where before there was only silence broken by shouts of ‘silence’.

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There is an air of confidence about us all that was not there before. I have learnt that I am worth so much more than I ever knew. I am happy, I laugh, I joke, I feel sexy, I feel worthy, I have finally come to love the person I am.

Sunday, 27 April 2008

I know why I blog

Tonight has reminded me why I blog.
Blogging brings out so many emotions in me.
Just a brief recap of a few blogs I have read tonight.
Vi and her tales of another drunken blog meet reminds me of my visit to Blah almost a year ago at the start of May 2007, I got very drunk and was very ill, but that was not the end of it, I was really ill for weeks after and my GP thought my Cancer had come back. I had round after round of blood tests and scans, but gradually after weeks I began to recover enough that in June I began working again part time. So reading Vi's blog has brought back the merry time we all had in blah but also the memory of being ill.

Then I visited Bunny in her Rabbit hole. I don't think many of you read her. She is very funny but she has been having a very tough time in her marriage. Reading her experiences brings it home to me how lucky I am that I no longer suffer the way she is. I try to be supportive and hope that some of my comments are of some use to her. Bunny also descibes some of her extra marital exploits which reminds me of the days when I was doing similar except it was my lovers not me who were married. But what really hit me on her blog tonight was the opening words...... 'Today, April 27th.' she goes on to explain how today is her blog anniversary. But the impact those three words had on me was enormous. I hadn't given it much thought until the date was there staring me in the face. Today it is two years since my Decree Absolute. I had planned to celebrate that day but it didn't happen. SF had continued to live in the house until forced out by the court on April 24th (my mum's birthday). The next week I received the Decree Absolute in the post dated 27th April 2006. I was free in the eyes of the law but I was still not free of my ex, as he continued to make my life a living hell. I was issued with a panic button by the police, as I was subjected to almost daily death threats. I still had so much to go through. Now two years later I am still reluctant to open my curtains. I still have that feeling of being watched in my own home. Maybe next year I shall have something to celebrate.

Then a quick visit to May contain Nuts by the delightful Ro who I have only recently started to read. Yesterday I was discussing with my mother about the children's songs and the children's request shows on the radio when I was a child. How I loved singing along to all those funny songs about runaway trains, pink toothbrushes and ugly ducklings. So imagine my shock to read his latest post only published minutes earlier about that very same subject....Ed Stewpot's request shows and songs such as My Brother which I have just played for my boys as they had never heard it before. So that was another trip down memory lane for me and happy thoughts of being a carefree child in the 60s.

After this I visited Emma who I nominated yesterday to be blessed and blow me down she had me in tears.

I am not going to nominate anymore of you but I am going to send it back at LiR.

I don't know what to say to that other than this lovely lady has been through so much, with family, work, love and illness, but through it all I can still feel this fantastic light shine through.
I truly hope she has found the love she so much deserves with Romeo, because after all the support she has been to me in particular over the last year and also everyone who comes across her.
She just opens her arms and her heart and welcomes you in. Thanks lady, I love you to bits..xx


how could I not be moved by such a lovely tribute. I have been feeling rather down today. But it just goes to show that bloggers are there for us when we most need them.

To all my blogger friends old and new I thank you for everything you have given me over the last 18 months.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

I have been blessed


There is a new girl on the blog. Young bright and caring Trublmaka a close friend of Giggle formerly known as VBF (Vi's Biggest Fan). Trubl has only been blogging for a few weeks but I enjoy reading her take on life as she struggles with bringing up her young family whilst carrying her third child. The love she has for her husband is very clear to see. Trubl is one of these bloggers who tends to lurk (I know Ron hates that word thats why I am using it) rather than leave comments. But she has been reading blogs and comments avidly and has now created her own award for bloggers who she feels are blessed with a cup that runneth over.
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She has nominated 7 bloggers I am already friends with nitebyrd, Ron and Giggle, I have read Ashley Ladd a couple of times and really must add her to my blog roll. But I have to confess that I have never visited either C:) aka craig or Spikey Zora Jones although both are bloggers who are already friends with many of my friends. something I should rectify very soon. So if you were counting you will have realised that I said Trubl has nominated 7 bloggers but I have named 6 only.
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I have not been blogging as much in the last couple of days, partly due to a feeling of apathy on my part. I have so much to say but when I have been sat here in front of the screen I have not felt inclined to type anything. I have been reading all my favourite blogs but not left many comments. I go through these phases from time to time so I know it will pass soon. I have been quite tired and been taking myself off to bed earlier than usual.
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Last night I was out with my mum and her friend (White) and my three younger boys. It was the Annual, Rotary Club Quiz night. When asked a week or so earlier to give our team a name apparently the name 'Lady in Red' came into my mother's head so that was the name of our team. We didn't come last but we didn't win either we had a reasonable finishing position approximately mid table so we didn't disgrace ourselves. Mid way through the evening we were served up with fish and chips and a most delicious dessert. I don't often eat fish from a fish shop (no! I don't buy mine from the toy shop either), as I find fried fish too greasy for my taste but this was very nice although that could just be that I was extremely hungry by 8.30pm after a long day at work. At the end of the quiz the raffle draw was announced and to my surprise we won 2 prizes (that has got to be a first), a set of magnolia body lotion and something else which JA presented to my mum as it had been her birthday on Thursday. However the box of Belgian chocolates that ET collected were very quickly snuffled up by the boys.
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Whilst we were at the quiz I missed a couple of calls from Romeo (I was just so involved in the quiz that I didn't notice my phone vibrating on the table). Still it will do him good to know that I am not always sat at home waiting for him (he does know that really). But he did leave me a very nice voicemail message which I have played back on speaker more than a few times. I do love to hear his voice and just hearing him saying that he hoped I had an enjoyable evening and he would be thinking about me just made it even sweeter.
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sorry my mind was wandering a little there .......just daydreaming about my Romeo I nearly forgot why I was here.
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Oh yes I nearly forgot to tell you that Trubl names her seventh blogger to be blessed as
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Lady in Red This beautiful lady is a sign that anything is possible! If you're not already a regular, go and check out her blog to understand! I don't think I can paint a clear enough picture! But her heart comes through her words.
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Isn't that just the sweetest thing anyone could say
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Now she wants us to spread the love and bless any bloggers we think are deserving but there is one condition. We have to drop her a line to let her know we have done this so she can follow the links to the wonderful bloggers who are out there in the Bloggosphere.
Now who shall I choose.
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Pixie (yes girl its you again!!) how could I miss out my honary sister. Fellow Aries girl, she has a knack of saying things that I feel but hadn't thought of saying until she did. She is very sexy, caring and funny too, she is also very in tune with her inner feelings and often lets us have her thoughts with both barrels blazing.
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Emma yes another blogger who I have nominated a few times recently. We live at opposite ends of the country but I feel as though she lives in the next street. I so want to just pop round for a drink and a chat and probably give her a hug too. This woman has a such a great heart and hopefully she has found someone to share her heart with.
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Mei Del is a new blogger to me, she found me through a comment I had left on Pixie's blog (oddly enough using my alter ego Sexy Vixen) but she found me and thats what counts. Mei is living the dream I am only just beginning to realise could be mine. For that I thank her for showing me that even fairytales can come true.
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ronjazz is a blogger who has one of the biggest hearts I have come across in my life. even though his own life may not be running as smoothly as he wishes he has time and patience to be supportive to every one of his friends both real and online.
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I am only naming these few bloggers because I know that all my other friends have already been or will be nominated by my friends and I don't want to make it difficult for everyone else by hogging all my friends lmao does that makes sense? I know what I am trying to say but not sure if it has come across very well

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Yearning



Every day now for 3 months I have driven through the road works that impede the progress of the rush hour traffic. Every day I have wondered about the sight of these things that are dotted along the way. They were not there before the road works arrived and I am pretty sure they will be gone when the work men are gone. Some are blue and some are green. I wonder as I make my slow way along these three miles. If one day I will be passing as a workman either enters or exits one of these. It must be strange to use this knowing that everyone pasing by will know. Maybe the men have grown accustomed to this way of life. I ponder the feelings they will have, the thoughts that pass through their minds. Who would be more embarrassed the worker who is caught or the traveller who is witness.




Tonight just as I logged online I was greeted by the one and only Lotto


you are so sexy x


lol you say the sweetest things


well you are - thought i'd let you know


you are too xx


thx x. if ever you come across another leg pic to put with the face one you sent me, please send it my way xx


lol you are incorrigible


but i just love your legs - and i dont know what that means


why don't you?
I thought you were a bright intelligent man


i do really and i am - thats why you fancy me


it is all very flattering that he talks to me in this way.


I am feeling unsettled tonight. I have a deep yearning for my Romeo. I need to feel his arms around me, to taste his lips upon mine and to hear his words as he whispers in my ear. I have not heard from him in two days and really I am ok with that. He did tell me how demanding his work is. He has explained that the hotel where he is staying has a damper to stop guests getting a good signal on mobile phones thereby forcing them to use the expensive house phones. Yes I know what some of you are thinking. You do not need to tell me, it doesn't help. I trust him and I know he will be in touch when he can. But right now I need him.

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Tagged

I have been tagged by Not so Fat Controller



WHAT ARE YOU READING?

The rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. Open to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people



Ok I have not yet begun reading this book but it was the earest to hand.



Testament of Friendship by Vera Britain, I couldn't find a picture of this book but here is one of the others from this series.

The six personalities chosen - frederick II, St Francis of Assisi, Joanna of Naples, St Catherine of Siena, Savonarola and Leonardo da Vinci - were united by the parts that they had played in the medieval struggle between the secular and religious ideas of the Summum Bonum. We had spent many hours of our Italian holiday searching for pictures and stories to illustrate heir careers.

Our exertions were justified, for the first address proved Winifred to be both a born lecturer and an adornment to any public platform.

now I tag Jeff, Pixie, Mei Del, Wyld Cat and Mulder

After I wrote my post last night about Lotto and Romeo, I went to visit Harvey, he needed my help again!! He rang me at work yesterday begging for my help with some home work he needed to do on the computer for a course he is doing for work. I agreed to meet him at his place about 9pm saying that I wouldn't stay long as I had a date with my computer. I had jst left his place having done all I could to help him, when I got a text from Romeo. I didn't manage t get back online last night then this morning I couldn't get the internet working. This evening I had just got home and was sending a text to Romeo when it got diverted to 'drafts' because as I was send my text I got one from Romeo. I just don't know how we keep doing that, I had not heard from him all day. We carried on texting for the next hour then it went silent. But just after 8pm my phone began ringing and it ws Romeo which was a really unexpected surprise. He is back in the near European city he seems to spend most of his time in. We chatted for about 20 mins before I had to go out and I heard him arriving at his hotel. He says he still has to stay there for a few more days but he will ring me again in few days.

Following a comment last night by Mei Del saying that Romeo ought to realise what a lucky guy he is, I sent him an email telling him that he should realise how lucky he is as there are other men who are interested in me but it is him that I want. I'm sure it can't hurt to let him know that there are other men around who are more readily available than he is, keep him on his toes as it were. After our text conversation today I was a little concerned that so much of our chats have become sexual. I don't want a repeat of what happened with Forest, I was trying to email Romeo about my worries when the laptop battery went flat. But after our telephone conversation, (I didn't mention my worries), I felt a lot happier that he is interested in me not just sex.

Monday, 21 April 2008

What's a girl to do!

Sometimes I think I have been waiting for Romeo for ever. It has been 2 months since he went off on his business trip just a week after I found him. It has been two months full of emails, text messages, IM conversations and a few telephone conversations, interspersed with periods of silence. During that first silence I was beside myself with anxiety, but since then the silences have been easier because I know that I am secure, that we both have such deep feelings for each other. The only thing missing is to meet for real. I knew within days of finding Romeo that I didn't need to look for any other man. I closed down my profiles on the dating sites, or put messages on them saying that I am no longer looking as I have found a man who makes my heart sing. I have never done this before, I ahve always kept my options open so this was a big step for me.


I have stayed in contact with some of my male friends and they all know that Romeo is in the picture. Before I found Romeo I had been talking to Lotto about the possibility of meeting him at his hotel where he stays sometimes when he is on call for his job. I have never taken it further than just chat and I never make any promises. Yesterday he started to chat and he was getting me quite turned on. I started thinking that perhaps I should go and meet him again after all it has been 2 months and I still don't know when I will meet Romeo. We talked about meeting although I still didn't make any promises. Even though I was feeling that I need to see Lotto even if it is just to blow a few cobwebs away, I just couldn't help feeling that I would be betraying Romeo even though we have never met.


Last night Romeo sent me a few text messages talking about being together very soon. He won't tell me when, just teases me more each time I ask. He text me quite early this morning then nothing until I was bombing it down the motorway on my way home...........ffs I had to wait half an hour to find out what he said.

when I got home we were exchanging more text teasing each other and he still won't tell me when!! I went online to check my mail etc and found this..............


i have been chatting to a couple of ladies and pissed them off because i dont want to meet them. just to let you know i only want to meet you - seriously. thanks for the chat yesterday, you got me going again as always. really hope to meet you soon.


which turned into this

ladyinred says:
flatterer

Lotto says:
well a guy can give a compliment when one's due
ladyinred says:
thank you..........accepted
Lotto says:
good. i like your pics, il ike the one you sent yesterday and you turn me on just writing to me - thought i'd let you know
ladyinred says:
awww hugs and a chaste kiss
ladyinred says:
you turned me on too
Lotto says:
with tongues i hope
ladyinred says:
lmao
Lotto says:
i thought about your pics last night and was very rude - i always do - another compliment where am i getting them from
ladyinred says:
hee hee hee
ladyinred says:
im not complaining


But I still won't meet him because its my Romeo I want.

Sunday, 20 April 2008

How to tease a teaser

Hi how is my lovely teasing lady? Our time will soon come, so save your energy because you will need it all plus some. You will be sighing for days. Thinking if what I will do to you. Romeo xxxx


Build yourself for the multiple ........ when we meet xxxx


Does this mean you have an idea when you will be back or are you giving me a taste of my own medicine by teasing me?


mmmmmmmmmmmm ....... something to think about. But just get yourself really warm for me xxxxx


Thats not fair! Do I have to put on my petulent little girl act, stamp my feet and sqweam and sqweam until I am sick before you tell me. Btw you do a pretty good job of making me warm with no effort on my part. xxxxxx


Perhaps he is just teasing me but I think at last he will be home soon !! He has never sent me text like these before. But knowing my luck he will be back when I have other things to do. Like the Rotary Quiz on friday that I agreed to about 2 months ago. Or in a few weeks the party that has been put back several times already.


Earlier in the day I sent him a text that just simply said........


I **** you


I thought he could insert his own word here, it could be any one of several

Like, love, lust, want, need. I thought of lots more at the time but now my mind has gone blank

tears of laughter

What was the last thing you cried about? Laughed about? Got angry about?

I just pinched this from Mel

it has got me thinking about the answers.


The last time I cried was about the lack of money to keep my home warm and food in the kitchen to feed my kids. what makes me cry the most about this is that my son earns almost as much as I do but can never afford to pay me for his keep or keep up with his own debts. I have promised myself that the next time he comes home with a new tattoo or new clothes and declares he has no money then I shall pack his bags for him. Apart from the money issues we get on really well and I love him to bits and I know he loves me too. He is just so irresponsible when it comes to money. I think he has had me in tears more than anyone else in the past year. I don't expect my son to help me to pay all the household bills but I would like him to pay something towards the food he eats and the electricity he uses, a bit towards the council tax would be good too. He asked me last night if he could get a new contract phone and pay it through my bank account as his doesn't have the facility for direct debits or standing orders. I told him no, not until he has proved he can be trusted to make the payments and starts to pay his keep regularly. I made it quite clear that I wouldn't be in the financial state I am in if he paid his way. I have mentioned a few times in he last week hat I might get a part time job to top up my salary even if it is only for a few months. Even the thought that I might have to do this doesn't seem to bother him. He has just assumed that that is what mothers do. He hasn't offered to do anything to help around the house either.


The last time I laughed now this is harder to answer because I had not really thought about it. I laugh a lot, so it is not something special to be laughing. I laugh as I read blogs, I laugh at the things my kids do and say, I laugh at work, I laugh when I chat with Romeo. I am just a basiclly happy person. Even in the middle of a crisis I will find something to laugh about. It's just the way I am, I believe my ability to laugh at anything helped me to get through my cancer and also my divorce. Perhaps it is because I have never had things easy that I find it easy to laugh. If I didn't laugh I would be crying and I don't do crying. It takes a lot to make me cry but very little to make me laugh.


The last time I got angry I don't remember the last time I was really angry unless it was last summer when I was badly hurt. I had been telling this man all along that I didn't want to be a sex object, that I wanted our relationship to be more than sex. 5 months it took him to admit that that was all he wanted from me. The more he said the more it hurt the angrier I got that someone I adored could be so blatant about using me the way he did. The more he said to excuse himself the cheaper he made me feel, the dirtier I felt, he made me feel worse than SF had done which was some going. But incredibly we are still friends although we will never meet again, I couldn't put myself through the emotions that would bring.

Other than that I have been cross a number of times but not really angry. Something that did make me cross on Friday was my colleague. He uses all kinds of tricks to avoid answering the phone everyone knows this but he seems oblivious that we all notice. But on Friday the phone rang and as I was in the middle of something I let it ring so he picked it up. I could hear him saying hello, hello. I could clearly hear the woman at the other end also saying hello can you hear me? after a while she said 'I am putting the phone down and try again.' I did say that I had been able to hear her as clear as day. The phone rings again but he makes no attempt to answer it so I did. The same woman asks if I can hear her as the person who answered just now couldn't. Yes I could hear her very well no problem at all just as I knew there wouldn't be a problem. After I had taken her order and put the phone down my colleague tried to excuse himself by saying that when he had answered her the line was bad and kept breaking up as though there was another call coming through. I could not believe his audacity. It is a good thing he is leaving on Friday as I would have had to say something about this behaviour. I have been turning a blind eye to his tricks from the day I started this job, but since he handed in his notice he has got s much worse.

Saturday, 19 April 2008

all these men

I am afraid that I was unable to prod Romeo into adding the next part of First as he wasn't able to get a connection. However he did send me this unexpected text at lunch time today




Hi dearest LiR, Sorry not to speak yesterday I could not connect to the web. you are in my thoughts and my body craves your touch. Would love to be there with you right now making love. Speak soon Romeo xxxx




I am hoping with every fibre of my being that he is able to get a connection tonight. When he sent this text I was in the shower. I always do a lot of thinking in there, perhaps it is the hot water cascading over me that washes away the murk leaving me to think clearly. I was thinking about how much I want Romeo to come home so that we can spend some precious time together. I was analysing why I want him so much. I don't need him to make me happy, I am not feeling needy. It isn't as though I am incomplete without him. The only way I could think of it was as a very lovely iced cake. I tried to describe this to him in a text so he probably just realised that I am off my rocker. I thought of it this way.




The base of the cake is the past 40+ years of my life where I became the person that I am.


The jam in the middle was the last few years of finding myself again and playing the field.


The top part of the cake is me now and in the future, being more confident and happy.


Romeo is the icing on my cake and I am just hoping that I am blessed with a deep layer of soft icing rather than a dusting of icing sugar .




Today I found myself in the bedroom of another man. Now now minds out of the gutter, I was hanging up the two new cardigans that my mother had bought for my grandfather (94 next month). My mother has been poorly for the last two days and as I have not been to see my grandfather for a while I said I would go. Every weekend I promise myself I will go, but I find it hard to fit in at a time when he won't be either eating or asleep. But today I made myself go to see him. When I arrived sure enough he was asleep but the lady in the wheelchair next to him told him he had a visitor. It always amazes me that he can be asleep when I arrive but as soon as he wakes up he sees it is me (even though I have not been for weeks) is all smiles and knows immediately who I am. Now I am only half his age and I am usually a little groggy when woken from a sleep.




It was very heartening to find the old man in good humour and seemingly well. When we first moved him to the home where he is now back in December he was like a little lost soul. It felt rather like leaving your child at school for the first time only this was an elderly man and he will be living here for the rest of his life. He had not been able to choose the place himself and had to trust our judgement. The home where he had been for 15 months could nolonger look after him as he was becoming too frail and they don't have the staff to give him the care he now needs. We have now moved him to a nursing home in our town, he was an hour away at the other home. It must be very daunting to move to a place you have never seen, having to get ued to new people new routines at that age. But he does seem to have settled in well and he is looking healthy. I think apart from the use of his legs he misses having someone sensible to talk to especially now he is too frail to hold a newspaper and his eyesight and hearing are not great. I think this was also my first visit when he has not told me that 'I won't be here long'. It wouldn't surprise me if he was around for a good while yet.




Later this evening I had another surprise. As I was sitting here making a few long overdue amendments to my blog DC came into my room for a chat. We discussed the money situation both mine and his. Then as he was leaving the room he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. I thought those days had gone years ago. Then about an hour later ET came in for a chat and began stroking my hair!! what have I done to deserve all this extra attention from my boys.








I just got another award this time from Mulder. He has nominated me, Nitebyrd and VBF as his three favourite bloggers isn't that sweet of him especially after I am so naughty teasing him the way I do.

Friday, 18 April 2008

is it good?

While I am sitting here waiting for Romeo to come online I am listening to some of my music when it reached this song which ET sent to me, as he thought I would like it, several weeks ago. Every time I hear this song it makes me think about Romeo. Yes I know it doesn't take much to get my mind into that particular space. I really want to share this with Romeo but I shall wait. Anyway I thought whilst I was waiting I would share it with my blogger friends. I hope you like it as much as I do. I know I am a bit behind the times and many of you probably know the singer and his songs much better than I do.


Some of you may be surprised to find that I have done a few new posts on my other blogs. I am trying to keep my creative writing to Lady in Red Writes rather than posting it here. I have not been writing much creatively for many months but I am beginning to find more inspiration. I was chatting to my boss today and I mentioned that I am considering taking on a part time job a couple of evenings or a few hours at the week ends to top up my salary. She told me that I would be better off concentrating on my writing. She really admires the writing I have allowed her to see. This would not be the solution to my money problems in the short term but could be in the longer term however it is the short term I am most concerned with. Perhaps I should follow DJ's advice and writ a book of short stories as I don't think I have a whole novel inside my head at the moment although you never know what inspiration I may get in the future.


Having said that I am trying to keep most of my creative writing on LiR writes I have written a piece you might enjoy which is on Battle to find myself.


I am completely stunned!! when I was divorcing SF he kept saying he didn't want to be a 'weekend father' (I thought this would be an improvement). He lives just ten minutes walk away with his g/f (Village Idiot) and her mother and daughter. Ok so there is an injunction stopping him from coming to our house. He has invited our boys to his new home once and that was at my suggestion (lunch on boxing day). Now every Thursday is his day off from work. It is the school holidays, perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with his sons. So he arranged to take the boys to the cinema in the city and lunch at a chinese restaurant. Yes he took them to the city by train. (He has never applied to get his licence back after he was done for being 4 x over the limit). He paid for them to watch the film of their choice while he and his new family went for lunch at the restaurant. Apparently the boys had some chocolate for lunch and the offer of some money for a take away in the evening (it wasn't forthcoming). Will he be in the running for 'father of the year' I don't think so.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

First

I have written the following and asked Romeo to add the next paragraph before I finish the piece. It will be interesting to see what he comes up with.





The leather of the sofa squeaks as you shift your weight, I feel your arm snake around my shoulder as you pull me to you. My head now resting on your shoulder as I gaze up into those, deep pools of hazel, that mirror mine so well. This is the first time we have been so close. The first time we have touched, the first time I have seen for myself this lovely half smile that I have grown to adore. As our eyes meet your head dips down towards my waiting lips as my neck stretches up towards you.

The scent of you is so heady in this already over heated room, the shocks run through me as our lips brush oh so softly, barely touching yet sending spasms through my heart, my mind and my groin. You kiss my lips again but more intently this time, my lips part to accept the very tip of your tongue as it passes over my lower lip. I feel the heat inside me rising as I melt against you. My free hand reaches out to touch your chest. The more our kisses deepen the more my fingers inch inside your mid blue shirt, a slight twist of my finger and a button pops open allowing more access.

Your arm has dropped from my shoulder to my waist as you slide a fingertip inside the waist band of my skirt tracing soft circles on my skin.

Monday, 14 April 2008

lucky girl






I am such a lucky girl. Not so very long ago I was reading nitebyrd's blog when she introduced us, her readers to a few new blogs. One of these was 'The grass is always greener' by the rascal that is Dazzed and Confused now known at nitebyrd's instigation as Mulder. Not long after this Mulder or D & C as I was calling him mentioned that one of nitebyrd's blogger friends had written a testimonial for nitebyrd. I dutifully headed over to read what Vent had to say. I loved his blog and go back over and over again to comment and then I go back and comment again. He is such a cheerful and chatty fellow I just love to keep going back there. we have chatted about wine, pets, disco fever, hair styles and of course his love of squirrels to name just a few topics.







Today Vent has been given an award The Good Chat Award







He has received this award from Akelamalu. I must confess I ahve never visited her blog but I have seen her comments on other blogs. This is something I must remedy soon. Vent has of course now passed on this award to six others including the lovely funny nitebyrd, the refreshingly bright and vibrant VBF and one of my new friends the sensitive, witty and brilliant writer Jeff B. So imagine my surprise as I scrolled down and found that Vent has given this award to me too.




Now I have to pass the award on so who should I choose


well nitebyrd has been chosen by Vent so has VBF



Katy has a wonderful way of making you feel like you just pull up a chair and sit down to be entertained by her wonderful humour and fantastic photos. She is warm, funny and real.



Pixie my honary sis.......she is such a bad bad bad woman she missed my birthday and why ? because she was too busy celebrating her own birthday and writing deep posts about how we can change.



Vi one of my longest blogging friends, she lives life to the full then calls her life dull



Emma a lovelywoman who has had a hard time but is coming through the otherside and now she is embarking on a romance to equal my own. I wish you both luck and happiness Em.



Ro my new friend who appears up for the challenge of answering every single comment I ahve left on his blog in the last week and as I am going through every post since he began his blog thats a lot of comments so far.



Now I know you are all wanting to know whats happening in my fairytale. I didn't heare from Romeo over the weekend but he text me today whilst I was at work. I replied asking him if his day was satisfactory. 'it is now I have heard from you xx' came the reply.



Later more text and then an IM chat. he just keeps proving to me over and over again how lovely he is. I had to ask him if he is real as I think I dreampt him up. But he assures me he is real. He is my lion among men.

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Collecting things from other blogs

I had another award from VBF after I answered her meme on her blog.






Isn't she clever to make this.




It looks like I am collecting things see what I found waiting for me on Emma's blog




I have been tagged by Ro who is a blogger I have only recently begun to read. Thanks very much chum!! this is a Meme about sex so have posted it on Battle so as not to embarrass those of my friends who are not interested in this.


But weeks ago I was tagged by VBF to do a Meme but I had not got around to doing it so here it is.


Seven Random Facts about ME!!


1. For a while I was the chair person of our Town Football Club's Youth Division. Thre were 11 teams 8 boys teams and 3 girls teams.ranging from Under 10's to Under 16s. Whilst I was The Club Secretary Prior to being the Chair, I personally knew every child there and their parents. Less than a season after I resigned the club had folded. The people running it after I left didn't have a clue.


2. I experienced my first hangover (which lasted for 3 days) when I was on my French Exchage with the school. I turned 15 during the 2 weeks we were there. On the coach tavelling out there one of the boys had dared me to drink as much as him. He got drunk I didn't. So when we met up later in the week (we were not supposed to see our friends while we were there, but the french kids were friends so we did meet up). I remember we spent a whole day in this hut, lots of booze and smoking,Jimmi Hendrix and Santana playing on screen. By the time we got back to my exchange friend's (we detested each other) aparment I was out of it. I was then stuckin bed ill for three days. I was still drunk for the whole of the journey home.


3. I have smaller feet than most women. I take between a size 3 (36) or a size 4 (37) UK size (european I think). I have often had people comment on how small my feet are. This doesn't help when I want to buy shoes most adult shoes start at size 5. I can buy my shoes from the children's department (which are tax exempt) but as you may remember I like my high heels. Once many years ago I bought a pair of black shoes to wear to London for a social event. The heel broke but when I went back to the shop they didnt ahve any other suiable shoes in my size so they had to give me my money back.


4. I was bullied at school when I was 15. One of the girls decided to bully me because my dad was standing for election for the local council. This went on for months until one day I had enough and took an overdose of out of date asprins. It didn'twork and next day I we into school and when she began to bully me when I was on my own I fought back then went to find my teacher who happened to be with the head master. (princple) She never bullied me again.


5. I am a direct decendant of the man who owned the company that invented the toy balloon. When my mother was researching the family tree we discovered that my father's great grandad JG Ingram owned the patent for the toy balloon. I had grown up knowing that the family had owned a factory near Chigwell in Essex that manufactured rubber medical appliances and hot water bottles.


6. I have only ever flown once and that was for a day trip to lapland to see Santa 3years ago. we left home at 5am to get to the airport for a flight at 8am and arrived back home just after midnight. It was a lot of money for one day but it was so worth it. I will never forget the exhilaration of travelling at speed on a skiddoo across the frozen lake in the dark at 11am with snow coming down. Seeing my son and his little cousin playing atmaking snow angels was awesome too as was the Ice palace where even the tables and seats were carved out of ice.


7. I am totally in love with a man I ahve never met. Anyone who reads this blog knows about my Romeo. we have been wanting to get together for two months but his work has kept him out of the country for all but 2 days since 21 st February. Right now he is 5,400 miles away. Other times he is closer only a few hundred miles away but still on the continent so he might just as well be thousands of miles away. The lovely thing about this is that he feels the same way.




Friday, 11 April 2008

The best yet

Today started out like any other day getting up at 5.50am getting ready for work leaving the boys asleep as there is no school or college for two weeks. I ahd official permission to be late for work today as I was stopping at the hypermarket on the way not just to buy cakes and fruit to take in to the office which like many other work places it is the tradition to take in cakes on your birthday. I was also detailed to buy some flowers for the office (two bunches of carnations). mid morning the room rang out with 'only you' it was a text from Romeo (the first for 2 weeks as we have been chatting online instead).work wise it was very quiet at the office today. My boss literally ordered me out of the door at lunch time. It turned out that we had too may flowers so I was told to take the left overs home (they are now at my mum's).



I went straight to my mother's from work as I had to collect something apparently. A quick lunch and we were about to leave when her fresh meat delivery arrived. Most of this she was giving to us so we dropped it round to my house on the way to wherever we were going. The boys were not pleased to see me, I was too early for the welcome they were planning. So I left them to it. As mother drove I was trying to figure out where we were going. The Garden centre, nope, B & Q for some plants, nope, ah it must be the electrical store, yes. So like the good daughter that I am I follow into the store.

I am to choose a dvd player. (only my mother could think of buying me a new expensive HD dvd player for xmas (now hooked up to the wide screen tv in the living room)and another dvd player for my birthday). When I don't have a tv in my room!! I chose the smallest one which was also the cheapest as I didn't want this new intrusion in my room to take up too much space. Back to mother's for tea and cream scones by this time I ahve exhange a half dozen text with Romeo who tells me that his day is

'hectic but with time to think of you xx'


Finally around tea time I set off home armed with pizza for the boys and the ingredients for my favourite home made chilli for dinner. I arrive to a chorus of 'happy birthday' from my three younger boys, a couple of home made cards, a living room that has not only been tidied up but vacuumed too and the strong smell of vanilla. They had lit a couple of my vanilla scented candles and my oil burner (they just used the vanilla drops no water!) There was also a chocolate birthday cake.


Years ago I bought a wall bracket for a portable tv which I had intended to put in the boys room but there was no suitable wall space so it as still in its box. Here is OJ fitting it to my wall. (He is my man of the house even though he is not the eldest of my boys).

Here is the bracket fitted and complete with spare portable from the boys room.

I feel like the luckiest mum in the world with everything my boys have done for me today. It all means so much more than if they had just gone out and bought me something. That and the unexpected text messages from so far away and I have had the best birthday yet.

happy birthday to me




It's my birthday but I shall be spending the morning flirting with customers at work this morning, who knows what the rest of the day holds for me.




Hoping I hear from Romeo today but I won't be holding my breath.

Thursday, 10 April 2008

Suffering

I spent my last £5.00 on petrol to get to work this morning. The gas to keep the house warm ran out on Monday. By this morning we only had 1pint of milk left. SF had promised the boys he would take them out and treat them to lunch today as it is not only his day off but also payday. Oh that’s good when they see him he can pass on the money he pays towards their food.

When I get home from work I found that the boys have not seen their father, other than a brief few minutes early in the morning to check my baby’s bicycle to make sure it is working properly. My baby and his new senior school friends have been riding to the beach every day this week approx 4 miles. At this rate he will soon lose some of the weight he has gained since giving up playing football due to his foot problems. So no money for food or anything. Ok we will just have to get by until the morning when I get my Child Tax Credits, that just about covers the rent and a few other bits but not much.

Luckily during the evening SF rings the boys to talk about seeing them on Saturday now!! Why does he always do this? At least now the boys have got used to being let down they don’t take it so personally. I tell him that I need money to buy heat and food. He tells me to collect him from his new home, drive him to ATM then take him home again. This all takes about 20 minutes. He reeks of cigarette smoke, I had almost forgotten what that was like. He hands me the £100.00 for the boys food for a month (it’s the school holidays they eat that much in a week!!). He also gives me another £20 ‘as it’s your birthday’. But eeewww I had to suffer a kiss for that. I managed to escape with just a sloppy peck that left me feeling dirty with a wet smear on my cheek beside my mouth. Desperately, wanting to wipe my face clean, without appearing unkind. Why does he want to kiss me these days? He was never interested in kissing during the 19 yrs we were a couple.

Once I had dropped him off I went to but some Gas, petrol and milk. To my astonishment there was a young woman in the shop who I had passed on my way there. She had with her a pushchair with a child not much more than a year old and another a girl of about 4 dressed only in pyjamas. This was 8.30pm on a cold night. The mother was chastising the little girl for crying demanding to know why she was crying and telling her to wipe away the tears. The poor little mite must have been frozen; I think I would have wanted to cry if I had to walk any kind of distance in my pyjamas when it was so cold. Both children were given a finger of fudge to keep them quiet while the mother purchased a pack of beer. I was full of all sorts of emotions about this.

My first reaction would be to make sure that the child was not suffering unnecessarily. The second is a fear of interfering in a situation that I know nothing about. I have no idea how far they had walked or how far they had to walk to get home. I have no idea why the mother had brought these children out on a cold night, why the little girl did not have on a coat or gloves, why she was crying. I do not know what I could have done. If I had tried to phone any of the authorities, who should I phone and what could I tell them. I didn’t know who this family were or where they live. By the time anyone could have arrived they would have been long gone.
Had it just been the child and her mother I could perhaps have offered them a lift home. I couldn’t have got that huge pushchair in my car, but I did contemplate offering to try.

These episodes of suffering for whatever reason reinforce my sense of well being and knowledge that no matter how bad things become there are many out there who are so much worse off than I am.

Only a half day at work tomorrow as I had planned to pamper myself in readiness for seeing Romeo in the evening but now thatisn't going to happen I have been requested to present myself at my mother's house in the afternoon. I am hoping with everything I have in me although I am not holding out much hope, that I will get a phone call from Romeo. He has surprised me the last few nights by chatting online just as I was about to go to bed. But as yet I have not heard from him tonight and now it looks unlikely that I shall ge to chat to him as even if he gets online I won't be here........................Taxi was the call in my ear just minutes ago so a drive into the City is now imminent as the last train was apparently leaving the station as DC arrived there!!! He will never learn.

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Dogs, Cats , children and more



Should I get a Dog ....


...or have children?


Just might be better to get a cat!




Isn't Nipper a sweetie?

she's so sweet that she makes my eyes water,

my nose itch and my throat sore

The kids know that when she is gone there will be no more cats in my home. But until then and she is only 11 years old I try not to have too much contact with her.

Last night I was chatting to Traveller, I have not mentioned him before, we have been chatting online on and off for about 18 months. He is a few months older than me, and lives in the Other City not far from me. He is not a British national but has lived here for years I don't recall how many that conversation was so long ago. He lives a semi single life, his wife lives in Switzerland and although they see each other regularly it is not a marriage in any sense other than in name (or so he tells me). He has a girlfriend in his home land, and a holiday home in another European country. I shall call him Traveller because he does as much travelling for his work as Romeo does. I am in the habit now of always asking him 'where are you today?' Why am I telling you about him now when I have never mentioned him before. Traveller is from the country that Romeo seems to spend the majority of his time in, apparently Romeo has a member of his team who lives in the same Town that Traveller comes from.

Much to my surprise whilst we were chatting another window opened unexpectantly asking why I was still up (I think it was about 10.45pm). It seems that plans had changed and Romeo was not leaving on his next trip until today. So I got to spend an hour chatting to a National of X country who was over here whilst at the same time chatting to a Brit who was in X country. I thought that was so funny and told both of them so.

During our conversation Romeo and I were talking about hotels and I told him that I have a night booked in a country hotel in Norfolk in September. He asked about this so I told him briefly about my friend who moved to Norwich and met the love of her life, I am going to their wedding. He thinks it all sounds very magical. Ah see I knew he was a Romantic. By the way he can't wait to get home to see 'my little writer'.

I was going to do a post about my drive home today perhaps I shall do that later. I missed The Apprentice tonight as I was on here and forgot about it so I have to dash now to watch 'You are fired!!' so that I know what happened when I get to work tomorrow. I rashlypromised we would discuss tonights program tomorrow ............help!! gotta go bye

ps there is a new post on The Lady in Red Writes

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

bits and pieces



Following my last post just for those who like Fat Controller don't have the time to trawl my archives I ahve posted a couple of photos here.




Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....




A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both Brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth Grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.




He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said.'Okay' and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'




He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said To the little gir l, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers Down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!




She said 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBBLETS!!!


After a slight hiccup on Sunday night things are even better than ever for me and Romeo now all that is missing is him here with me. But I know that the time for us to be together is getting ever closer. We talked until 1.30am this morning even though he was due to be on a plane by 7am. As much as I hated to do it especially as we won't be able to chat for a few days I had to say goodnight to him as I was getting too cold otherwise I think we would have talked until it was time for him to get ready for his flight. I would then have been dead on my feet at work today.


Oh I have some news on the work front. My colleague is leaving on 25th April. This will leave me on my own working full time with BG part time and the possibility of another part time person to join us. I think this shows that my boss has faith in me to be able to manage the greater portion of the work on my own. I have no worries about my ability to do the work, I just need to speed up a bit as I learn more of the products without having to look up each item. I am slowly getting to grips with the product codes and getting a better idea of which orders are sufficient value not to warrant a small order surcharge. It is a slower process learning the customer A/c numbers, and remembering who each customer is ie Mike, Alan or Phil (we have a customer base of around 5,000) some send in their orders by fax or through our Reps but others (the part of the job I enjoy most) give their orders over the phone. I enjoy the flirting that I am able to do as part of my customer relations. After many years of being used to talking to two men the customers are now getting used to speaking to me. It is amazing how many when they call ask me to put them through to Sales, but slowly they are beginning to ask for me.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

challenge

Mulder has declared an interest in female body parts

I ahve set him the challenge of finding all the pictures of my breasts that appear on my blogs.

He tells me that he has found 3 pictures of my breast but he has been distracted by the many pictures of my legs.

My dear Mulder, there are very few pictures of my body parts on this blog, mostly these can be found on here or here although you might have to dig deep in the archives to find them lmao.

what is it all about?


for many years I have been one for dainty shoes like these








I even like to wear ones with thin heels like these







and for very special occasions I have these





I have no time for chunky shoes, I only like to wear dainty feminine footwear so why was it that this morning I was wearing a pair of these?



today we woke up to this





so it wasn't long before we had this handsome young man in our garden




yesterday I was walking around without a coat, today its a case of coat hat gloves and scarf not forgetting the boots, the whole kit and kaboodle. today I figure I need to make sure we have enough gas to keep us warm during this late cold snap. when I went to retreive my coat and gloves from my car there was about 2" of snow on the roof. The pictures don't really show how much snow we had. It must be the first time in a couple of years that we have had such a heavy snow fall that has lasted more than an hour!! I phoned my mum who has gone to visit her mother in law up in the cotswold countryside. I was only joking when I told her yesterday not to go getting snowed in. They are!! apparently when I spoke to them earlier they were looking at about 5 inches of snow.

I got myself all dressed up to go to the garage to top up my Gas card only I couldn't find my purse. I turned my bedroom and the living room upside down looking for it. Later it was discovered next to the keyboard of the computer in the livingroom. I had looked next to the monitor, under the desk on the shelves and not seen it. Doh, but ET had even been using the computer and not spotted it. Thankfully I ahve now got enough gas and electricity to last us this first week of the school holidays.

I had a lovely surprise last night just as I was thinking about going to bed Romeo came online hes back in Europe for 2 days before going to Africa. Hopefully then he can come home. While we were chatting he said that this all feels too good to be true. I know what he means so its up to us to make it real.

Saturday, 5 April 2008

Birthday season

I am staring at 46 in under a week and as so many of my blogging friends are also Aries I thought I would wish all my friends a very happy birthday. It has amazed me how many of my blog friends were born under the star sign of Aries. So many strong women, I guess its true that like attracts like. some of these bloggers have already had their birthdays and others are just around the corner. but off the top of my head I can think of a fair few, all strong people in their own way.


Chopper who is just setting out on his battle to over come his recurring back problems he has a most warped and enduring sense of humour.


Evening has been battling breast cancer and come through the other side, but always has the time and energy to be supportive to her many friends worldwide.


Laney has been though a tough time in recent years, I have only begun to read her blog in recent months but it is evident that she is a very kind and supportive friend to all around her. What she did for Rhonda was amazing. I am sorry I didn't get to see the video she made for Evening's birthday.


Cake is an amazing writer, she too has been through heartache and I know from reading her blog this morning that this birthday will be a very emotional one for her. Cake I don't have word to offer you but lots of hugs. my only words are that I feel your pain I went through a similar thing 21 years ago and it was that one time that it was so painful after that it has been a case of not forgotten but the pain has subsided.


Pixie is an amazin woman with whom I ahve become close, I ahve nominated her my honarary sister which she was pleased to accept. Like cake, Pixie writes a lot that I can associate with but never think of writing until I see that she has put my thoughts in writing.


Trousers I am afraid that I only dip into his blog occasionally but he is a dear and has also been struggling with what life brings him. It was so lovely to see the positive energy coming from his recent posts. Oh I am sorry if I let the cat out the bag that its your birthday in a few days.


there are other bloggers who I could include like La fille who unfortunately closed her blog last year. If I have missed anyone please let me know and be sure that I wish you a great birthday too.


For those of my friends who have birthdays at other times of the year, you are all lovely but we can't all be blessed with the good fortune to be Aries. Oh and if you didn't know those of us who are Aries just remember that we are the babies of the zodiac so cannot be expected to grow up.

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Defragmenting Rewards



VBF has given me an award






this is her reason - Because she is very inspirational and refreshing to read! xx




Thank you VBF that was very kind of you. I have never set out to be 'inspirational' I just tell it as it is. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it is a little easier, sometimes it is great but the best way to get through anything is with a smile and a cheery word. I always try to see the lighter side of anything as I wasted too many years being miserable in my younger days. There are many people in blogland who are a far greater inspiration than I am. However it would be ungracious of me to ignore this accolade from VBF so I say a great big thank you dear girl.




Now VBF says we have to nominate 10 other bloggers for excellence. Umm now I believe that many of the bloggers I would nominate have already been nominated. so I am going to buck the trend and nominate all my readers both new and old (I refer to the time we have been aquainted not age). In my view all the blogs I read are excellent which goes without saying otherwise I wouldn't read them ....... oh there is one exception. There is a new blogger on the block who I have felt it nescessary to aquiant with the normal way blogging is done as he was becoming slack in his posting and commenting. Some of you may have noticed the reference nitebyrd made to mulder having a kicked arse.




Sorry Mulder you know I love you really ;-) but don't tell Romeo ok this our little secret.




Oh talking of Romeo I have told him that he will have to think of a way to make it up to me for missing my birthday........but I am not going to give him any suggestions as to how he can do this. I want to see just how romantic he can be if left to his own devices.




I had a phone call today to let me know that my skirt has been found, it was in the shop the whole time (among the suits naturally). Now when I was there yesterday I really wanted to tell the woman there how to find my skirt. Instead of checking methodically through every thing hanging up she was darting around looking here there and everywhere.........watching her progress was rather like watching a computer memory defragmenting.