Sunday, 20 April 2008

tears of laughter

What was the last thing you cried about? Laughed about? Got angry about?

I just pinched this from Mel

it has got me thinking about the answers.

The last time I cried was about the lack of money to keep my home warm and food in the kitchen to feed my kids. what makes me cry the most about this is that my son earns almost as much as I do but can never afford to pay me for his keep or keep up with his own debts. I have promised myself that the next time he comes home with a new tattoo or new clothes and declares he has no money then I shall pack his bags for him. Apart from the money issues we get on really well and I love him to bits and I know he loves me too. He is just so irresponsible when it comes to money. I think he has had me in tears more than anyone else in the past year. I don't expect my son to help me to pay all the household bills but I would like him to pay something towards the food he eats and the electricity he uses, a bit towards the council tax would be good too. He asked me last night if he could get a new contract phone and pay it through my bank account as his doesn't have the facility for direct debits or standing orders. I told him no, not until he has proved he can be trusted to make the payments and starts to pay his keep regularly. I made it quite clear that I wouldn't be in the financial state I am in if he paid his way. I have mentioned a few times in he last week hat I might get a part time job to top up my salary even if it is only for a few months. Even the thought that I might have to do this doesn't seem to bother him. He has just assumed that that is what mothers do. He hasn't offered to do anything to help around the house either.

The last time I laughed now this is harder to answer because I had not really thought about it. I laugh a lot, so it is not something special to be laughing. I laugh as I read blogs, I laugh at the things my kids do and say, I laugh at work, I laugh when I chat with Romeo. I am just a basiclly happy person. Even in the middle of a crisis I will find something to laugh about. It's just the way I am, I believe my ability to laugh at anything helped me to get through my cancer and also my divorce. Perhaps it is because I have never had things easy that I find it easy to laugh. If I didn't laugh I would be crying and I don't do crying. It takes a lot to make me cry but very little to make me laugh.

The last time I got angry I don't remember the last time I was really angry unless it was last summer when I was badly hurt. I had been telling this man all along that I didn't want to be a sex object, that I wanted our relationship to be more than sex. 5 months it took him to admit that that was all he wanted from me. The more he said the more it hurt the angrier I got that someone I adored could be so blatant about using me the way he did. The more he said to excuse himself the cheaper he made me feel, the dirtier I felt, he made me feel worse than SF had done which was some going. But incredibly we are still friends although we will never meet again, I couldn't put myself through the emotions that would bring.

Other than that I have been cross a number of times but not really angry. Something that did make me cross on Friday was my colleague. He uses all kinds of tricks to avoid answering the phone everyone knows this but he seems oblivious that we all notice. But on Friday the phone rang and as I was in the middle of something I let it ring so he picked it up. I could hear him saying hello, hello. I could clearly hear the woman at the other end also saying hello can you hear me? after a while she said 'I am putting the phone down and try again.' I did say that I had been able to hear her as clear as day. The phone rings again but he makes no attempt to answer it so I did. The same woman asks if I can hear her as the person who answered just now couldn't. Yes I could hear her very well no problem at all just as I knew there wouldn't be a problem. After I had taken her order and put the phone down my colleague tried to excuse himself by saying that when he had answered her the line was bad and kept breaking up as though there was another call coming through. I could not believe his audacity. It is a good thing he is leaving on Friday as I would have had to say something about this behaviour. I have been turning a blind eye to his tricks from the day I started this job, but since he handed in his notice he has got s much worse.


VBF! said...

My parents let us kids have it easy for a long time and didn't charge us board until the last minute. I wish They had charged me from the beginning so I could have learnt the full responsibility and consequenses of what would happen if I never paid on time.

Because by the time I moved out.. it was a kick in the face to live in this whole new world and I suddenly had to look after myself! I was use to my parents taking care of me!

Great post! xx

Lady in red said...

VBF I am sure your parents did what they thought was best for you. I really wish I didn't have to ask my son for money. But being a single parent is hard especially when there are 4 growing lads with big appetites

Lady in red said...

hey young lady what the hell time is this to be posting comments can't you sleep, last time I looked it was around midnight where you are and that was an hour or so ago

Mei Del said...

It's very hard asking your own kids for money but as VBF puts it - it would really teach them the value if us parents did - easier said than done. I know that I haven't even been able to accept any money from the darling apart from he buys food once a week and council tax. The older teens are always skint but they'll be leaving home for uni soon and they'll realise we won't be there to bail them out!

I get the happy person you are - like you I'm a glass half full type too - in my case - the bright side of putting on weight is your boobs are the first to get bigger and my holdups actually hold up instead of embarrassing me by slithering down at will.

Your colleague sounds worse than a jobsworth!

Gypsy said...

There is not too much in life that can't be faced with a great sense of humour. Laugh and the world laughs with you....and all that.

nitebyrd said...

If I couldn't find humor in most things, I'd always be crying.

Maybe my son should start paying rent. He definitely needs a girlfriend, that's for sure!

Lady in red said...

nitebyrd I thought your son had a girlfriend or is that over already?

Humour and love make the world go round

Lady in red said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel said...

Oh, pinch anything, anytime, ma'am.

(playing catch up after a very scattered weekend.....)

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