all these men

I am afraid that I was unable to prod Romeo into adding the next part of First as he wasn't able to get a connection. However he did send me this unexpected text at lunch time today

Hi dearest LiR, Sorry not to speak yesterday I could not connect to the web. you are in my thoughts and my body craves your touch. Would love to be there with you right now making love. Speak soon Romeo xxxx

I am hoping with every fibre of my being that he is able to get a connection tonight. When he sent this text I was in the shower. I always do a lot of thinking in there, perhaps it is the hot water cascading over me that washes away the murk leaving me to think clearly. I was thinking about how much I want Romeo to come home so that we can spend some precious time together. I was analysing why I want him so much. I don't need him to make me happy, I am not feeling needy. It isn't as though I am incomplete without him. The only way I could think of it was as a very lovely iced cake. I tried to describe this to him in a text so he probably just realised that I am off my rocker. I thought of it this way.

The base of the cake is the past 40+ years of my life where I became the person that I am.

The jam in the middle was the last few years of finding myself again and playing the field.

The top part of the cake is me now and in the future, being more confident and happy.

Romeo is the icing on my cake and I am just hoping that I am blessed with a deep layer of soft icing rather than a dusting of icing sugar .

Today I found myself in the bedroom of another man. Now now minds out of the gutter, I was hanging up the two new cardigans that my mother had bought for my grandfather (94 next month). My mother has been poorly for the last two days and as I have not been to see my grandfather for a while I said I would go. Every weekend I promise myself I will go, but I find it hard to fit in at a time when he won't be either eating or asleep. But today I made myself go to see him. When I arrived sure enough he was asleep but the lady in the wheelchair next to him told him he had a visitor. It always amazes me that he can be asleep when I arrive but as soon as he wakes up he sees it is me (even though I have not been for weeks) is all smiles and knows immediately who I am. Now I am only half his age and I am usually a little groggy when woken from a sleep.

It was very heartening to find the old man in good humour and seemingly well. When we first moved him to the home where he is now back in December he was like a little lost soul. It felt rather like leaving your child at school for the first time only this was an elderly man and he will be living here for the rest of his life. He had not been able to choose the place himself and had to trust our judgement. The home where he had been for 15 months could nolonger look after him as he was becoming too frail and they don't have the staff to give him the care he now needs. We have now moved him to a nursing home in our town, he was an hour away at the other home. It must be very daunting to move to a place you have never seen, having to get ued to new people new routines at that age. But he does seem to have settled in well and he is looking healthy. I think apart from the use of his legs he misses having someone sensible to talk to especially now he is too frail to hold a newspaper and his eyesight and hearing are not great. I think this was also my first visit when he has not told me that 'I won't be here long'. It wouldn't surprise me if he was around for a good while yet.

Later this evening I had another surprise. As I was sitting here making a few long overdue amendments to my blog DC came into my room for a chat. We discussed the money situation both mine and his. Then as he was leaving the room he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. I thought those days had gone years ago. Then about an hour later ET came in for a chat and began stroking my hair!! what have I done to deserve all this extra attention from my boys.

I just got another award this time from Mulder. He has nominated me, Nitebyrd and VBF as his three favourite bloggers isn't that sweet of him especially after I am so naughty teasing him the way I do.