Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Full circle

today I feel as though my life has gone full circle in the last year.

In september 2006 I said goodbye to Swinger as he was about to set off for his new life abroad. He had a few more days left in the UK but was busy tying up lose ends and saying goodbye to family. On the last day before he handed back his work phone we were texting each other as I was driving 38 miles to help my mother move my grandad from his bungalow to the rest home where he would be living from that day on. On my way there I had a puncture and had to pull over at the earliest opportunity. I text swinger what had happened and that as I was a lone woman RAC said they would have one of their vans with me within 90 mins. I clearly remember swinger thinking this was incredible.

By the time the RAC man had finally arrived decided that my wheel was beyond repair, driven me to the nearest town (where grandad was moving to)to buy a new wheel which had to be ordered from another town. We waited for the new wheel to be delivered then driven down one side of the dual carriage way to the end so we could turn around and come back down the other side. (my car being just one mile short of the end). I drove to the bungalow to meet my mum who had already moved grandad into the home without me. By now as grandad had been moved there was nothing left to do but have a late pub lunch. this was when I got my last text from swinger who was taking the piss out of me.

In October 2006 Swinger came back to the UK for a couple of weeks, he had told me not to miss him too much as he would see me soon. I prayed that he would arrive the week I had to go to court to be a witness against my ex husband in the case against him for harrassment and intimidating a witness (me). Yes he would be back that friday 3 days after the court case, this gave me something to look forward to. On the friday I was having a pub lunch with mother and grandad (he had to sign all the estate agents and solicitors forms) I was getting a series of very hot text from Swinger. We spent that night together. Then he was gone.

In the last week I have had emails from Swinger, today I heard that my grandad is ill again. He has never been in hospital until this year. He has now been in hospital twice and may need to go in again as he has a chest infection and has been confined to bed. The home have told my mother that he cannot stay there any more, he is now too frail, they cannot give him the care he needs. ( we have been expecting this, at 93 he has been declining in the last few months). We now need to find him a nursing home, preferrably one nearer to us.

This afternoon I had the dubious pleasure of my ex talking to me on the phone yada yada yada it went on and on. But one of the things he did tell me was that today his probation ended. He had to go into the probation office to be signed off. They have made it clear to him that he isn't to come near my home as I could have him jailed. As things stand at the moment I wont do that as we are currently on civil terms. but if he were to become a nuisance then I would.

The day my grandad moved into the home I had taken a day off work (I had only started the previous day on a temp contract).
The week before I had to go to court I was turned down for a permanent job because they wanted me to start on the Monday which I couldn't do as I knew I needed to be in court for two days of that week but would only find out the day before which days. Bad timing!!!
The day I first heard from Swinger again was the same day my current employer told me they would like me to stay on for another year. I only joined the company for 3 months in June.

Maybe I am reading too much into all this, maybe its all coincidences, perhaps not. I just know it all seems very odd to me.


George said...

But do you really want somebody in your life who comes and goes like a breeze? In spite of all of your posts of multiple lovers, not at the same time of course, I believe that you really want to settle and hold on to a special person ... forever.

Don't get involved with a drifting breeze ... now you can tell me to fuck off and mind my own.

Be well sweetie

DJ Kirkby said...

Nice coincidences but dont let SH lull you into a false sense of security, don't drop your guard! Have you tried the nursing hoem sin Emsworth? Very good, kind, staff.

Lady in red said...

George I hear you, I am not exoecting to find an LTR to land in my lap that will last forever straight away. I expect I will probably have several shorter relationships before I really settle down. At the moment I don't really know how or what I will feel about him if we meet up again. Of course he might not want to even meet up. I just don't know what is going through his mind all I know is that he has woken up the feelings I had supressed.

Emma said...

I agree with George just keep that wall up for a little longer when the right one comes along only let it be broken brick by brick..xx

Pixie said...

what goes around and all that.... so if you let him back in he'll be back out again before too long.
Do you need to deal with allthat stuff again.

Lady in red said...

emma and pixie I am on my guard, I have no intention of just opening the door for him the way I used to do with N. However I do feel that the way he went before was not entirely his fault. His work is based in the town where he lives which is far enough but not too far from me. However when he went away it was to be in charge of a temporary project in another country (one where his children live). He had requested this move 6 months earlier, we had only met 5 weeks before so it was not an option for him to turn this post down. at the time I felt cheated, not by him but by circumstances as we didnt have a chance to see if this would lead anywhere.
maybe I am being too generous (I won't know until we speak) but part of me wonders if he vanished the way he did to protect us both from hurt. I think we both realised it was not going to be easy with me here and him there. I don't know how I would have coped each time he had to go into a war zone. It was bad enough worrying about him in the past year as it was.
But if he does want to rekindle things then it will have to be slowly and just like Vi done properly this time.

BBC said...

Life is full of random events and consequences that produce random results. Sometimes you just have to learn to roll with the punches.

Grow a thicker skin, things like that.

somebody said...