why do I do this to myself

I have got myself into a tiss over the situation between me and Forest
are we seeing each other or not?
am I just a sex toy to him
do I push him into action or just wait
or do I walk away

tonight I have sent him a variety of text from
a x
to a :-p
to telling him what I want and asking what he wants
no reply to any of them.

then I get online and see Jasper is on msn
thats unusual especially at this time of night
I resist saying hi
until I am very tired and about to go to bed
my resistance fails
I say hi to him
he calls me angel
he says he wants one of my snogs
and the time we had in the hotel
I chat on but he doesnt reply again
now I am hankering after two men
neither of them any good at communication
its no good
I must stop this.