Monday, 19 January 2009

Chewing lemons

On the whole I consider myself to be a cheerful soul. I am a glass half full type person even though it might not always seem that way on here.



Anyone who knows me also knows that I love my job. I have gained so much confidence in the year I have been doing this job. But recently I have found it difficult to enjoy my work to quite the same extent that I had been.



Has my work changed? in some small ways it has but essentially it is the same.



Is my job at risk? In as much as no one is totally safe in their job these days, I know my job is fairly safe.



Have my working conditions changed in anyway? No



So what is making my work less enjoyable?



The answer is the mood swings and negativity of the one person I work closest with. Increasingly she is becoming bitter and sour, it is as though she has been living on a diet of.................... lemons.

I won't go into details but she is making life difficult for those of us who work with her. The egg shells we walk on are becoming more delicate with each passing day.



Today I got an email from from Wild Catz that I want to share with you ...........pay particular notice to number 1.





Staff Warning - Swearing at Work



Dear Employees



It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training

Instead Of: You don't have a fucking clue, do you?



2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.

Instead Of: She's a fucking power-crazy bitch



3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late

Instead Of: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?



4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible

Instead Of: Fuck off arse- hole



5. Try Saying: Really?

Instead Of: Well fuck me backwards with a telegraph pole



6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...

Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a fuck.



7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.

Instead Of: Not my fucking problem.



8. Try Saying: That's interesting.

Instead Of: What the fuck?



9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

Instead Of: No fucking chance mate.



10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in

Instead Of: Why the fuck didn't you tell me that yesterday?



11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues

Instead Of: He's got his head up his fucking arse.



12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?

Instead Of: Oi, fuck face.



13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway

Instead Of: Yeah, who needs fucking holidays anyway



Enjoy the rest of your day

12 comments:

Fat Controller said...

LOL! That is just great! But who's been eavesdropping on our little workplace?!!

aka k said...

7 & 12 made me LOL

Waynecoff said...

hi honey, how ru,
loved that, lol x

Mei Del said...

that was most enlightening xx

cheekydani said...

Urk walking on egg shells, never fun. Perhaps you'll have opportunity to practise using some of these, ermm alternatives?

Actually there's a blog I read... someone's outlet for her annoying colleague's antics, quite funny. You're welcome to vent it all to us dear, if that helps :) x

MarmiteToasty said...

ROTFLMRSSO!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahaha fanks for making me laff real loud this morning, so much so that the 6 nippers here all just went quiet and stared at me LOL....

To dam funny......

x

Rachael said...

I have seen this before and in this day and age no one should have to suffer with a work colleague there are ways and means of dealing with it, I think this needs a mention even it is boss, which I am not sure it is.

I would even have a word with them myself if it was me....good luck darl...xx

Mel said...

*laughing laughing laughing*

Now--ya really don't expect me to use these do ya?

*laughing*

<-- bought duct tape for a reason!!

Troy said...

That list is absolutely brilliant. Thanks for sharing it with us.

On a purely grammatical point, the cover note should read " a list of 13........HAS been provided" not HAVE been. Which I've choosen to say instead of "Poor fucking grammar".

Troy said...

That list is absolutely brilliant. Thanks for sharing it with us.

On a purely grammatical point, the cover note should read " a list of 13........HAS been provided" not HAVE been. Which I've choosen to say instead of "Poor fucking grammar".

Wild Cat said...

Glad you enjoyed x

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