Saturday, 3 January 2009

The Man

New Year,

new start?

maybe, who knows.

Not sure if I did mention it, I think I did but not going to go back looking. A few months ago I mentally gave myself a date. A deadline for Romeo to prove to me that things will improve. I never told him this. But as you can probably guess now that deadline was New Year. I have heard nothing from Romeo since early December. No Christmas message, no New Year message, nothing. Yet I still believe in him, I still love him, I believe that there will be a very good reason he hasn't been in touch. (A reason he can't tell me about). I still hope that it won't be too long before the work he is doing will change. He did tell me that he will stop doing this work, although he loves what he does he can give it up, he won't continue forever. But he didn't say when he might change to something more home based. I love this man very much, I can't imagine being with another man.

I am still very much in love with Romeo, as I was told last week 'to the point of excluding anyone else from your life'. I am not sure how accurate that is. Now this post is titled 'The Man' because Cheekydani has asked for more details about the man who suprised me with a call on New Year's Eve. This is even more cheeky of her because she knows more about him than anyone else. Due to a little chat we had online just prior to xmas, when she was positively encouraging me to be cheeky and move things on with him.

Ok you want to know more.

At the start of December I received an email out of the blue from a man I had never heard of. I nearly deleted it but decided to check it out. It was from The Man. It simply said that he had read my profile on a dating site. (something I had done before I found Romeo, an awful profile with a dreadful photo). The profile said that I can't read messages (I am not subscribed) but gave very heavy clues to reach my email address. He hoped that his email had reached me. I didn't reply or delete it but next day I read it again and replied that it had reached me and would he like to tell me something about himself. I had no idea where he was or age or anything just a name.

A few hours later he had replied telling me various things about himself. Not only is he in my age bracket ie he had a birthday a few days earlier making him 2 .1/4 yrs older than me, but lives in my town. Divorced! He mentioned keeping fit for his hobby (a sports official) this led me to mention the only sporting venue I visit these days, it turns out that he officiates at this venue as their longest serving official. Suddenly I knew who he was although I only knew his first name before. I logged onto the dating site and searched him out and yes there is a photo on there and he is the person I thought he was.

Anyway to cut a long story short, since then we have been exchanging emails most days. I have not been initiating them just wait for his email then reply. He has a good sense of humour which is essential for me. He is very family orientated, appears to like my humour. When I didn't have the internet for a few days over xmas(twice!!). I was reading his emails on my mobile phone, which did give me the option to reply but although I could change the subject I couldn't type in the message box. so I gave him my mobile number. This was appreciated and now gave us the added option of text messages and he phoned me too. On New Year's Eve I was suprised to get a call from him as I wasn't expecting it. He said he was going to text me but decided to call instead. neither of us have mentioned meeting but I think it will happen. Last night in my email I answered a couple of the things he had said with comments that will let him know I am not just a frumpy middle aged woman but a sexy one too.

Now where does all this leave me? I am in love with a man who is never around. There is a local man who is showing interest and whilst he is not someone I would look at and say wow I really fancy him, he does seem to be very nice. I keep telling myself that I have to let go of Romeo and see who else is out there. It is not going to be easy, I still keep hoping that Romeo will come good for me. Part of me thinks it would be unfair on The Man to start seeing him when I am still in love with Romeo. It would be like saying he is only second best and nobody deserves to be second best. But on the other hand if I don't see anyone else I will never let go of my love for Romeo. I would not be fair on myself to wait indefinitely for a love that may never happen.

Part of me wants to email Romeo and tell him that he has failed to meet my deadline and I am now going to see someone else. But I think I shall do nothing, I shall continue to chat to The Man and see where it leads to. If Romeo wants me then he has to make his move without being prompted by me. As for The Man, I am happy to see where this takes me but I am following his lead, I am not going to chase him. As with Romeo, if he wants me then he has to make the move.


cheekydani said...

Yay!!! And yes it was cheeky of me to demand more information about The Man but then again, that's why they call me CheekyDani!!

Sounds like you guys are establishing the groundwork for at the very least a nice friendship, if not something more. And sure, if Romeo realises what a dickhead he's been to let you go, then so be it, but I've personally found the best way to move on is to fill your head with someone else so why the heck not eh? And who knows what's just around the corner... or more to the point who...!



DJ Kirkby said...

I say 'goodbye Romeo' but then when have you listened to me? xo

Rach said...

I would just enjoy the attention and see where it leads, after all you do seem to have lots in common with this man and it won't break the bank seeing him either....ever the rationalist me you know....xx

Lady in red said...

Dani yes it does seem we are building a friendship .........slowly one day at a time.

Lady in red said...

dj I do listen! just like I listen to my mum then still do what I want to.

Lady in red said...

Rach at the moment I am enjoying a nice exchange of text messages. we have just established that he thinks like a male.

Elaine said...

I don't think there's anything wrong in ending your relationship with Romeo because of circumstances, and getting out there for a bit of fun. If the circumstances change, you can decide again what you want to do. You have to make decisions based on the here and now, not the 'what ifs'. xxx

Mei Del said...

ooh i'm so pleased for you. i hope you have some more fun this year.

why is this post linked to doggy mischief i wonder?

DJ Kirkby said...

You make me laugh! xo I have given you an award over on my Chez Aspie blog.

Anonymous said...

WOOOO Hooooooooooo! Happy 2009!

nitebyrd said...

LIR, it's good to have dreams, BUT ... you cannot live on them. You don't have to stop loving or wanting Romeo. I don't think you should cut yourself off from someone who is available, who could be a wonderful friend, if not more, for Romeo who is absent. The ball is in Romeo's court. Time for you to go play with someone who's actually going to play.

Anonymous said...

Once again I must say you have really good friends with really good advice LiR. Romeo knows you are there if he chooses to contact you he will. Your local guy sounds nice. Maybe if Romeo contacts you and it takes a while to contact him back he will wake up a bit, you know? If I were in a relationship (long distance or not) and I really loved the person I'd make the time to text or call and wish that person Merry Christmas or Happy New Year. I don't believe Romeo didn't have even 5 minutes to drop what he was doing and call or text. Pretty fucked up if you ask me. Just this guys take. And as far as your local guy thinking like a male, well darling he is what did you expect? :>)

Anonymous said...

One other thing that my wife said to me when I was telling her about your blog. Why would you relegate yourself to second best (even if it's to Romeo's work) in any relationship? You shouldn't have to put yourself through the wondering about and the waiting for Romeo. Just another thought.


Anonymous said...