Friday, 16 January 2009

Nigel's Way

As I said recently, Cheekydani is dating by her friend Nigel's rules or at least she is for a trial month. I decided to see what would happen if I try to do it Nigel's way too.

So this is how it has been working out.

Romeo has not been on contact since 8th December. I have not emailed him since before christmas nor text since New Years day. I have not told him that he has competition or that he is risking losing me. I have said nothing at all.

The Man I am enjoying a regular exchange with. Nearly every day he sends me a chatty email about his day etc. I reply to this then wait for his next email. He has begun sending me email jokes too 5 today alone! Some days, ok most days he sends me a text even if its only a joke. I reply to this. On the days he doesn't make contact at all (like yesterday) I resist the temptation to email or text him. Today he was working from home, this morning he sent me a text joke, this resulted in an exchange of text.

geordie in amsterdam goes to a prostitute & asks how much? she says 350euro, fella says 'I'll give yi 500 if yi let iz do it geordiestyle'. she agrees & afterwards she says , 'that was great sex but can yu tell me what the geordiestyle bit was?' he replies 'can i give you that 500 next week pet?' xx

my reply ...............remind me to avoid Newcastle.

This afternoon I checked my emails ............................5 from The Man

I hadn't been home for very long this evening when I got a text 'fancy a chat? xx'

I didn't find the text until 10 minutes after it was sent. I replied ok

About 10 minutes later my phone rang. He had missed my reply and was disappointed until he found it. we didn't talk for long as I have a sore throat today. It was also a bad line and the screeching on the line was getting on my nerves. Before we finished chatting he slipped in.

'keep the emails coming they are fun'

'like me .................I will grow up one day!'

'no don't ..........there is no room for grown ups in this world.'

I think perhaps he likes me just a tiny bit ;)
Tonight I have been on the dating site, not to see who is there but to let him see that I have been 'online in the last 24 hrs'. I also wanted to change my photo as it is awful but because I am not paid up it will only allow me to have one photo.................brainwave!! I have deleted it and uploaded a better one (Rach's favourite). Whilst I was doing that I got a request to chat on the site's IM but as I am not subscribed I can't do that.

Tomorrow when I am less tired I shall rejoin the free site where I found Romeo and create a new profile.

It is time to let the fun begin (once this rotten sore throat has gone that is).


cheekydani said...

Well done Lady, I'm so pleased you're getting out there :)

I think the main thing I took away from Nigel's lesson was control. I'd always let the guy have control of the dating process which used to make me feel out of control (as you probably know from having been a reader of my blog for the duration of my dating escapades over the past 6 or so months!). So what Nigel said was you regain control by ensuring you're getting what you need from him. So if he's acting how you need him to, perfect. If not, withdraw, don't reply and give him time to wonder what he's doing wrong. Until he gets it right.

So if Romeo is treating you how you want, then perfect. If not, walk away and wait for him to start treating you like the Lady you are!

And it The Man is doing what you want, great. If not step back and let him work out what he needs to do to 'win you back'. If I'm honest I suspect you may want to meet him and he's not coming forward about arranging a date. If you're okay with this then perfect, keep going as you are. If not, perhaps time to rethink your strategy!

But well done, like I said, so long as you feel you have control over the dating process, you're doing it right. I'm so proud of you for getting back on the dating sites, you're too gorgeous to waste... x

Rach said...

I am really pleased to hear you are getting back on the scene and the man sounds like he could just be ok.

Nigel has been a revelation and one I will use if I ever decide to get back into it myself.

Too much going on with me at the moment to involve someone else.

Fire Byrd said...

You go girl... then I can just sit and watch from the side, as I don't have time for men at the moment

nitebyrd said...

I hope you're feeling better now.

It's a good thing to move forward, LIR. :D

Anonymous said...