Absolutely Livid

I have been under stress for nearly a week now and I am hoping that this stress is soon to come to an end. I feel agitated, I am livid, I worry for not just him but myself and the boys also. He just didn't think as usual. He didn't realise the knock on effect his actions could cause.

Tonight I phoned him from my car and told him that I did not want to see him. He obliged by keeping out of my way. Since then we have talked and although the situation has not been resolved I have made it very clear what action is to be taken and the consequences if these directions are not followed.

I admire him, I am proud to call him mine, he is talented he is lovely, he is also very focused on what he wants at the expense of all else. who am I talking about? The one person who has given me the most cause to both cry and worry in recent months above any other living person. DC is a great lad, he is a good musician, artist etc but neither his music or his art work pay him a living.

So what has he done this time I hear you ask. If you have been keeping up with my blog in the last year you will be well aware that DC has money problems which in turn become my issues. He has not told me this but I heard this evening that on top of everything else his car was clamped last week. Some of you will remember that his band went on tour last November and I made many frantic calls to his friend to get DC to pay money into my bank account to cover his bills that are set up to come out of my bank account due to his bank problems. He told me a few weeks ago that they would be touring again. He showed me a few dates but they seemed to be much more scattered this time. Imagine my horror when I rang home last Thursday after work to remind him to make sure he had his money ready to pay his Provident loan (in my name!!) to be told that he had gone on tour.

By Sunday I was very agitated that he had neither returned home or made any contact. I had tried to phone him several times. I found out that his girlfriend didn't know when he would be home either. Approximately £200 had gone out of my bank account to pay his direct debits but no funds had been transferred in by him. Finally he arrived home at 5.30am on Tuesday. It now transpires that he has not been to work at all for a week but what has me most horrified is that his work had apparently called twice if not more to find out where he was. He had taken unuathorised leave and still has not tried to speak to his boss. So now I am not only worrying that he has not paid me the money for his debts but he has probably lost his job or at least come very close to losing it. Tonight I have also told him that he has come very close to losing his home too.

I love my son very much but he really has been a trial to me since he left school, these years should be good ones for him but they have been severly dampened by his heavy debts and the inabilty to keep them under control. I feel for him so much that he tries so hard to follow his dream but life just keeps on hindering him.