All week I have been feeling happy.
Kama had said he liked me and wanted to see me again. The emails and texts have continued as before. But there has been no mention of when we might see each other again. He had told me during our meal about his busy schedule especially this week with family and friends. His son has been celebrating turning 17 for the last few days and tonight he is taking both his children out for dinner to celebrate both their birthdays as his daughter will be 21 this week. There is also the Rugby 6 nations to watch with friends. But I can be patient!! (I don't feel patient).
Last night when we were texting I sent him a blue peter text. (one I had made earlier). I had sent it to Romeo months ago. It starts off tantalising ..........it was dreaming of being naked together in a sunny room with birdsong coming through the open window.......but then makes you laugh because there is also the drunk across the road making a ruckus.
He replied in kind which I thought was very good. 10/10 for that.
This morning I was woken by his text ...........a picture of hearts with the words have a wonderful day.
I just rolled over and went back to sleep after all it won't hurt him to wait for an answer.
Later when I woke up properly I looked at it again, this was when it hit me. I had scrolled down a little further than before to the bit under the message. This was when I noticed that it showed his number plus who he had sent it to. There below his number was mine. But below my number were 4 others!! Of course it could be his daughter, sister and niece but that still leaves one more.
So who else was he sending this non personal message to?
We have not made a commitment to only see each other, it is early days yet but still I feel let down. He has every right to see others just as I have, but still I feel put out about this. I am not going to challenge him about it, it is his business. But I can't help feeling a little hurt. I have toyed with the idea of sending him a valentine email. I have toyed with the idea of not sending him anything. I thought of doing what he did. I have never tried sending an sms picture from my current phone. I was experimenting in replying to a text from him and inserting a picture. I didn't find the usual pictures only my own photos. Scrolling through these was interesting as I had forgotten about some of them. Then I tried to exit the photos and found that I had inserted one of my photos. I tried to cancel the message but found that it was too late the picture was sending itself to Kama. Damn and blast I didn't mean to do that. I know he will think I have sent it on purpose and he will like it but that wasn't what I was trying to do. I guess it could have been worse, much worse, there are some awful pictures on there and some that would have made no sense at all arriving out of the blue like that with no message. The picture I sent was one of a pair of photos. The other one is the only saucy picture I have sent him.
Although I don't mind that it was this picture I don't want him to think I am trying to win him over with my pictures.
Perhaps I should ask Dani to ask Nigel what I should do now. My instinct is to just go quiet and see what he does next.
“Doing” a Doctorate – week 19
3 days ago