Monday, 19 April 2010

I'm not doing it for his sake

Today I invited SF (my ex husband) to sleep on my sofa ............for one night and one night only.

PB thinks I have lost all sense and gone completely mad.

I didn't make the suggestion for his sake although I do feel sorry for him (for today).

He rang me at work...........yet again!!

As soon as he began talking I knew he was distressed but it could have been that he was very drunk.

He said he had phoned OJ and asked him to stay with him tonight at his place..........he didn't say whether OJ had agreed or not.

He then told me that this morning when he got home from his early morning work he found his g/f dead on the sofa.............massive heart attack he said.

That was why he wanted OJ to stay with him to keep him company tonight.

I was not about to make my son spend the night in a room where someone had died just hours earlier.

That is why I said that SF could stay on my sofa for one night and one night that he could have the company of his sons without them having to stay at his place.

I am doing this for their sake not his.

But I am not such a cold hearted bitch that I would make him stay on his own

But it is for one night only..............he will not be moving in as PB thinks he will............. there is no way in this world I am letting him back.

And while I am feeling strong and imovable I have told Plumber to start being will make life easier for him.


Vi said...

I totally understand why you are doing it. If Andrew's girlf died, and he wanted to be near the boys, I'd do the same.

Lady in red said...

thanks Vi, I felt I had no choice really. But it was a very stressful night for me after I went to bed. Brought back all the memories of the months of being afraid to sleep, listening to all the creaks on the stairs and landing hoping my door wouldn't be opened.

As much as I feel for him in his grief I won't be allowing him to stay here nerves wouldn't cope.

MarmiteToasty said...

So where were you on the night in question? shinging spotlight in your face :)

just joking...... you are a kinder person then me cos there is no way in hells chance my X will ever step foot in my house ever no matter the reason, but then your X does see his sons, maybe thats the difference :)

hope things aint to stressful for you all and the sleepover went ok....


Mel said...

Oh no....I'm so sorry. What a horrible experience for him..and what a rough thing for you, but a kindly thing to agree to.

I can't imagine.

*sending prayers*

IndividualExperience said...

Just wanted to say kudos to you for your own clarity in an unfortunate situation. Keeping things straight in our own minds is the first step to any reality. Nice pictures on your blog too, I wanted to say.

nitebyrd said...

I understand why you are letting him stay the night. Good on you for being sensitive and very strong!

Amy said...

I appreciate your PO very much the picture with the article. Continues to refuel!!

Anonymous said...







Anonymous said...


Joanna Cake said...

How awful for him and, whilst it does put you in a difficult situation, you have to do what you feel is right for everyone.

Remember when I went round and cooked dinner for everyone when my ex was ill? He kept saying that he didnt need anything and would get up and get his own later. Since he had an inner ear infection which made it extremely difficult for him to get out of bed he'd asked me to go round and see to the kids.... who are all over 15 and perfectly capable of cooking something to eat for themselves and him. But he didnt want to trouble them!

Anyway, I went round and supervised the cooking of a chicken curry and insisted that he have some by getting one of the kids to take a small portion up on a plate.

Sometimes you need to help them to help themselves and sometimes you just need to remember the friendship and love that you once had and do what you can to help that person... so long as it is not detrimental to your own health.

I should think that going back to the house where someone you love has just died is not going to be easy.

You may need to think about an alternative plan of action if you dont want him to become a permanent fixture on your sofa.

MarmiteToasty said...



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