What a mess

It has been quite a stressful few days for me. I don't often let life's worries get to me too much but this time it just felt like there is no way I can manage this. Up until now I have believed in my ability to manage but this time the problems felt insurmountable.

First it was the conversation with Plumber. He has had a problem with his vehicle since our canoodling on Friday night. Apparently the evidence that I was highly aroused has been a bit of a problem for him. He declared that he wasn't complaining and I shouldn't worry about it. But although initially I was ok it did start to bother me. That plus the fact that he says I snore softly and my house is not up to his standard (his house is imaculate not a thing out of place). I was beginning to feel depressed.

Add to that receiving my new statement of tax credits for this year. When I applied for my current job I rang the Tax credit office who told me that my increased hours and salary would not affect my Working Tax Credits until April 09, 16 months later I had forgotten that! So now my Credit Award has been reduced. Coinciding with this reduction ET finished his full time Education so I nolonger get Child Tax Credit for him. In addition to these two reductions they have decided that at one point in the past I was over paid so they are now recovering the over payent by reducing my current payments. These three changes mean that I am with immediate effect approximately £350 pm down on my monthly income. Seeing that I was barely managing before I really don't know how I will be able to pay my bills and feed us for the next few months until October when DC and OJ go to Uni.

So is it any wonder that my stress levels were sky high on Tuesday, so much so that I was close to tears for much of the day. I was, as I told my mother 'wallowing' I have to do this occassionally for a couple of days then I pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to normal. Tuesday was not the best day to be wallowing as I had plans to make it a special day (I had been invited to visit someone I have not seen since Aug 07). But first there was my much awaited Drs appointment to discuss such issues as breast reduction options.

My Dr had other ideas. Firstly she advised me that they nolonger provide this service on NHS, it can only be done privately now. She has prescrived me extra strength Ibuprophen for my back pain to allow me to be more active. She is concerned about my recent weight gain even though I have tried to be active and dieting. I am to have blood tests for diabetes. She also wants to work with me on my weight, her concern is not the amount of weight but that it is all in the front (stomach and breasts).

When I had been home a few minutes I got a text apologising but my evening out was cancelled due to unexpected family arriving. (our evening together is now planned for tonight). It was just as well really because although he would have been a tonic for me, I wouldn't have been much company for him. During the early evening I had a conversation with Plumber via IM. I said something about being a lost cause. He then admitted that his feelings for me are growing, I am becoming very special to him. He will do anything he can to help me with anything.

I fell asleep early that night (waking up at midnight thinking I had slept for hours) which I obviously needed. Wednesday saw me almost back to normal. The money worries are still there but I feel better able to cope with things again. At 1pm I got a call from Plumber he was not far from my office so would come to see me at lunch time. We spent an hour sitting in the van he was driving (he does some Agency driving) in Asda car park drinking tea from his flask. So that made a nice change.

In the evening I had a visitor. Harvey had rung me on tuesday wanting my help with something on the computer. I hadn't heard from him for at least 6 months since he moved out of the area. Hes moving back to the area at the weekend. He is back with his ex g/f and wanted me to help him edit his phone bill to remove some calls that she mustn't see. I told him it is a bad idea but he is determined.