organised ~ not!!

I began my day by playing with my blogs, moving things around adding things and deleting a few things too. It felt good to be tweaking what had not been tweaked for a while. I am not going to tell you exactly what I have done as half the fun is seeing if you can spot the changes, and you should never forget that I do like to have fun.

LV commented earlier.............'Humour detected'

Being the organised person that I am (not), I planned to do several things today.

a) buy a new strimmer to cut back the nettles and brambles I have been cultivating this year, whilst I have one last chance.

b) buy a new net curtain or perhaps some vertical blinds to replace the net curtain Nipper shredded at the start of the week trying to get out of the top window.

c) buy new school blazer, and sports shorts and socks for JA going back to school next wednesday.

I couldn't decide where to go or in which order. So with my usual last minute satuday afternoon dash I headed for the 'superstores' just out of town. Q & B as LV refers to it only had a few strimmers left and those were the all singing all dancing super duper top of the range expensive ones. On the way to the garden equipment section I had passed the flat pack furniture. On the way back I picked up a 3 drawer chest for the boys to have in their room. The unit JA keeps his jumple of tangled clothes in also acts as a stand for the new HD flat screen TV that DC bought last week in place of buying a ticket for Reading Rock festival. On wednesday that unit got knocked, it apparently is quite unsteady (held upright by the heap of clothes that have been shoved into it). The unit got a second knock which sent the TV flying onto the floor breaking the screen. I have suggested that JA puts his tumble of clothes into the doorless wardrobe where OJ currently keeps his clothes. OJ can use the new drawers. OJ enjoys building flat packs (ok maybe not but he enjoys the challenge). To make his life easier I also invested in a power screwdriver.

I had just reached the checkout when I decided on a detour to the back of the store where they keep blinds. There were a few vertical blinds but mostly it was venetian blinds ( I do not want those). I didn't see what I wanted. But I did buy a new shower head.

On leaving the store I turned towards the other city paying a visit to the super duper Tesco store I will never get used to the recorded voice telling you that you are nearing the landing point when you go up or down the moving slope (like an escalator but without steps ~ more of a human conveyor belt). No blinds or nets,but I did get a set of kitchen knives, curry for my dinner and two tubs of cheese sauce granules (asda have not had them for the last 2 weeks ~ and the boys use it on pasta, potatoes and various other things.)

Oh and I nearly forgot to tell you about the fly in the ointment that was my day. SF phoned.

what are you doing this evening?

why?

I need somewhere to lay my head tonight, can I sleep on your sofa?

have you and Village fallen out?

No but her mother is getting on my nerves, I wish I had worked all day today. So can I sleep over?

No you can't, sorry.

Ok, talk to you later

what a nerve he has, apart from me not wanting him here he can't. I sent a text to aunty telling her that he had asked and was he going to start trying to worm his way back in.

yes

so I phoned her for a chat, I wanted to talk about Romeo anyway.

First she linked into SF and Village. (first time we have talked about the people he now lives with). She tells me that village is besotted with SF (I know she has liked him for yrs) but he doesn't love her although they are ok. The problem with her mother is that although she likes SF she doesn't think he treats her daughter very well (they live in the mother's house). No surprises there then.

Aunty told me not to let him back here even for one night (not that I will ) she is concerned that he might try to wear me down, then she picked up that he has an injunction against him anyway.

Then we talked about Romeo, she looked into various aspects of him and his life. Most of it was going over old ground, but I do like to know that she will come up with the same answers each time. So her verdict is that he is very much a worker, he feels he has to prove himself all the time, even though he knows he is very good at what he does. Money wise, he has lots of it but it isn't something he thinks about. Romance wise he is very romantic. Relability is his failling, he is not reliable although that is not intentional. He trusts me and has a huge amount of respect for me. This time she also said that since meeting he has moved very close to falling over the edge, he has very deep feelings for me. Oh yeah she had already picked up that I have fallen for him too. Several times during the conversation Aunty said that Romeo is 'lovely' which is a word I often use to describe him when ever anyone asks. She thinks we will be together at the start of October but there is also a slim chance I will see him in september.

I am sure that some of you reading this will be thinking its all mumbo jumbo and I shouldn't listen to these people. Aunty as I call her here has been there for me for the last 3 years. Occasionally she is wrong but generally she is right about most things even when I hope and pray she is wrong. I trust her to be truthful, she won't just tell me what I want to hear. She has been good to me and lets me contact her at home or just by text instead of going through those expensive telephone lines that are £1.50 per minute. Yes I have used other psychics when I was in my deepest misery, there are occasions when I still use others but mostly it is aunty who I trust and she knows me so well now (lol she always says I have enough romance in me for the whole world). Three years ago I was speakig to her at least once a week, sometimes more. These days I don't need her but sometimes I just like to have some confirmation that my own instincts are right. I did ask her how Romeo will react if I tell him that I love him. She says he will be pleased but probably go quiet.

So thats another day over and as we all know tomorrow is another day. (I might even reveal the latest reward I have been given)

the spending bug

It seems that the spending bug is still with me but not only that but it has struck my mother too.
As you know I have bought my new bed which is now arriving on Friday
and I am actually having a day off (not a half day but a complete whole day so no work from 5pm Thursday until 8am Monday).
I am still waiting for my laptop to arrive, I am guessing either Monday or Tuesday this week. Probably when there is no one home.

Yesterday I took myself into Town (I don't do that unless I have to). I have been having trouble with my internet banking so made the trip to the bank and got them to make the payment that has now wiped out all my rent arrears. The main reason for getting this loan in the first place. It is such a relief to know that I no longer have to worry about playing catch up on the arrears SF left me with. Now I just need to do the same with the Council Tax arrears and the slate will be wiped clean. I still have other debts but they can wait, they are gradually getting sorted in any case. So now I think I am back on track to be debt free (apart from this loan) by the start of next year.

So there I was in town on a saturday afternoon. With money in my purse and my bank account still in the black 11 days after payday!!! This is without SF giving me his monthly cash sum of £100. It feels so good not to be scraping for enough money to ensure we have food and electricity. Thursday JA told me that his school bag was broken ......I had tried to fix it for him earlier in the week but now it was too far gone. So I went into one of the sports shops and bought him a new bag, I also bought 2 pairs of swimming shorts and some sports socks for my boys. Next stop, Woolies, don't go in there very often these days. Came out with a new CD and a new 'chick flick'. Not wishing to bore you with every shop I went into I left town with two pairs of sandals. today I have bought a hanging basket to hang outside my front door and a Simpson sunshade for my car on these hot days. oh and one of these.

Oh and I mentioned my mum, well she has only gone and ordered herself a new car which is something she has been talking about for ages but done nothing about until now!! She is trading in her blue peugeot 307 for smaller 207 but she wont tell me the colour I have to wait until I see it.

THis morning I had a long chat with Aunty for the first time in about 2 months, she has confirmed that Romeo has been very ill, too ill to work which has knocked his confidence for six as he thought he was invincible. He has burnt himself out. But she did reassure me that his feelings for me are as strong as mine for him. but where my trust in him has wavered in the last couple of weeks his trust in me is total. He is going through a re-evaluation of his life at the moment so I need to be patient.

a saturday in the life of a contented woman

10.20pm and I'm walking to the garage to get some gas and electricity. As I cross the railway bridge there are strange snapping sounds coming from the trees along the side of the track. Being only short the bridge is too high for me to see who is down there. I am not really sure if I want to see, it might be rail track workers but then again it might not. As I am walking I am exchanging text messages with Harvey, he is suprised I still have his number, I am wondering why as he still has mine. It isn't that long since I saw him and we have chatted on and off since then. We have been chatting online, he has been trying to persuade me to go to his place and make him a coffee. He will even come over and fetch me as I have been on the red wine again.

Anyway as I reach the end of the bridge I see a few sparks shoot into the sky, with relief I realise that it is a bonfire in the back garden of the bungalow beside the track. I am not sure that I would like to live quite as close to the track as these people do. Across town the track runs along the bottom of my mother's garden but there is at least the length of the garden between house and track, here it is just a garden path between side wall and embankment.

I continue along to the garage on my mission. Into the welcoming bright lights of the shop. The duty manager is a lad from down the road, I have known him since he was about 13. He tells me that the reason the lights on the forecourt are not on properly is the power cut we just had. Ah so now I know it wasn't just us then. It has happened twice once about 5pm and then again at 10pm. everything just flashed of and on again. Ok well not everything, for once my alarm clock/radio wasn't affected. The computer downstairs went off then straight back on but mine went off and on but the monitor wouldn't come back on. I had to switch it off at the mains then reboot.

So I get my gas and electricity keys charged up and toddle off back home. I tell harvey that I am back online, he isn't. so here I am writing this instead of chatting to him. It also keeps my mind off the fact there have been no text today after the lovely ones I got yesterday. I am not worried I know there are business meetings to attend in Belgium and then Berlin. I am not priority when he is working but at least he has warned me that there will be these silences and I am not to worry, it doesn't mean he isn't thinking about me.

This morning while OJ, JA and B were at snooker (OJ won the runner up's trophy yet again) mother came round for coffee and a chat but also to give me some money. It is not often that my mother visits me it is usually the other way around. Watching her crawl up the stairs to the bathroom reminded us both why. Even though it is now 13 months since her knee replacement operation she still isn't walking properly. It now appears that the reason for this is that her knee is fine now but her leg muscles are not strong enough to support her, due to the odd way she had been walking for the past 10+ years. Dragging her foot has been the only outward sign that she has MS.

Late afternoon when I have taken B home JA came shopping with me. I should have just used a bit of the money o get a fwe things to tide us over for a few days. But no with the money in my pocket and ther unexpected promise of £40 from Dan and more on monday we went a little mad. instead of my usual small trolley (stops me buying too much) we had a normal trolley and nearly filled it. OOOps bad move. How embarrasssing with a queue of people waiting behind us to have to put £30 worth back as I didn't have enough cash on me. That will teach me to try to replenish all my basics in one go. As we were driving home the first song I heard on the radio was 'My first, my last, my everything' which of course made me smile and think about my texts.

When we get home with our purchases it occurs to me that Dan ahs not given me the promised £40 and we have £1 of electricity left in the meter and no gas, good thing it is mild tonight. I could have gone to Harvey's it would have been warm there (too warm probably as it was when I was there before). But I told him that I am behaving myself. It would have been so easy to go there, but I don't want to mess things up for myself.

That reminds me that when I was online this afternoon I was chatting to Hector, I gave him the link so he could read what I had written about him. He said he couldn't agrue with anything I had written, he was flattered to have a whole post written all about him. Just before this I had decided to talk to 'Aunty', I checked to see if she was there but she wasn't, I was a little concerned as I have not seen her the last few times I have looked. So I chose to speak to Lena instead. (I have spoken to her a couple of times before but didn't believe her although she was later proven right.) Everything she told me was good, I have to be patient though and wait until march!! March thats ages away isn't it, I don't know if I can wait a whole week.

After I had hung up I was just about to turn the computer off when I noticed that Aunty was there after all. So I rang her up quickly too. Yes I know a waste of valuable money, but I have not spoken to her in a while and I get paid on friday which is in time to sort out my phone bill, and my mobile bill was half what it normally is. I didn't tell her I had spoken to Lena, but she confirmed everything that Lena had said. She was very excited and pleased for me. But she was puzzled by one thing. she said that when she tuned into him she could only see pictures of me not him. (He has seen pictures of me but I have not seen his) I have not even asked. It is enough to know that we connect on other levels.

confession time

This is not something I admit to very often as I find that most people, are not very understanding. Many people scoff and make fun. Other people are concerned for me.

I am not talking about a strange cult or sexual deviation. I am not talking about drugs or alcohol. I am not talking about an extreme religion.

I am talking about psychics. See already some of you are inwardly scoffing. Yes I know there are a lot of so called psychics out there who are at best not very good at worst complete frauds. But there are some out there who genuinely do help.

I am not saying that I am completely convinced that they can tell us what will happen in the future, I don’t think it works that way.

A couple of years ago when I was in a bad state, I had told my husband I wanted a divorce, he had not taken the news well. I was at home alone one Saturday afternoon. I had over previous months got interested in horoscopes and was reading mine daily. I don’t any more but at that point I did. On this particular day I had gone onto the horoscope page on msn home. On trawling through the various things on offer. I came across a telephone number that you could ring to speak to a psychic. I did this, I had nothing to lose. I spoke to Aunty. I don’t remember a lot of what she told me. I do remember that she looked to see when my husband would move out. I was hoping a few days, a few weeks at the most. She checked each month, October, November, December, yes he would still be there at Christmas. January, February, March things would start to happen. April that was it he would move out in April. No not April how could it be that long, I wasn’t going to believe that. She must be one of these frauds, she is obviously wrong.

The next week I was again on my own. I was still feeling frantic and SF was insisting that he would not move out. I am a bad mother and I should move out. Again I phoned the same number and spoke to another psychic. I don’t remember what she told me but it was ok. Another week and another psychic, I was coming to rely on them to talk to about things I couldn’t talk to anyone else about. Over the weeks there were several psychics, but one of them I spoke to a few times was Aunty, every time we spoke she checked to see when SF would leave. Every time it came back to April. There were other things she helped me to come to terms with. She gave me advice and encouragement. She made me look after myself told me to be good to myself even if it was only to buy a magazine. Over the months I chose to speak only to Aunty, making a note of her pin number so that I could go directly to her. One day as we talked I mentioned that I was struggling financially and it was costing me a fortune. She gave me her private number so that I can text her when I need to talk she replies by text or will let me ring her at home. She sends me healing. When she doesn’t hear from me for a while she texts me to let me know she is thinking about me.

The months went by and then it was March, SF and I went to court, he was ordered to leave the property by 24/04/06 (my mum’s birthday). After we left the court he told me he would burn the house down. Finally he left quietly on the last day. Aunty had been right all along he left in April. Not all our talks involved predictions like that. Mostly it was to do with the current situation with various people in my life. Aunty was there for me when I needed her during the months of torment with N. She never judges me, just helps me through the difficulties and shows me things more clearly. Sometimes I choose to disregard what she has said and do as I think anyway. I told her about Forest she told me no there would be nothing there. I chose not to believe her. Now I can see she was right.

Sometimes we are in contact frequently other times it can be several months in between. A couple of weeks ago I spoke to her for the first time in months. I asked her about Neptune. She says yes he is a good one. She told me how far away he is from me. In these two years I have never told her where in the country I am. She has told me that he is as romantic as I am, he won’t tell me any lies. She persuaded me to take the bull by the horns and ‘go get him gal’. (she had never called me that before) that day he called me gal for the first and only time.

Today I called her as I wanted to know what was going on with him. Since I last spoke to her I had asked him if he wanted to meet, which he does he even recommended the city he thinks we should meet in. Earlier this week I asked if he had any thoughts when we should meet. Apparently it depends on how my confidence is. I told him my confidence is fine right now and my diary mostly free. He says his diary is also pretty free so we shall have to wait and watch. This pissed me off no end what was that supposed to mean. His diary is empty but we have to wait and watch. So I didn’t send him any reply at all. Next morning he was on msn (hasn’t done that for a while) telling me about a program he watched the night before about spiders which he commented on as being something I am fascinated in.

Aunty tells me that what he meant about waiting is that we wait to see if it rains on Sunday. He has a game of golf scheduled but wont be playing if it rains. This would mean he’s free for the day. That makes sense. Aunty tells me we will meet, and that the city is a lovely place for us to meet. I hadn’t told her where it was. Aunty assures me that I may not fancy him when we meet but that we will get on very well, he is not long term though. She has also told me that I am about to lose 8 or 9lb in a few weeks. That, I should do this with others who can help me with it. Almost as an after thought she told me that the test results came back all clear which is why my Dr hasn’t called me. I hadn’t even been thinking about the test results as they were a while ago now. I am pretty sure that although I had text her about starting the job and not being well I hadn’t told her about having tests and the Dr calling me in after each test until the last one.

I don’t rely on her now like I did a couple of years ago but I do find that I get strength and comfort from speaking to her. Oh and she told me today that even though I am short and round I am pretty and I have men falling over themselves for me.