catch up

Its been a while so here's a few things to catch up

My baby boy JA (he's now about 6" taller than me) has just two years left at school, when he goes back in September the hard work gets harder as he begins preparing for his GCSE's in 2012. At the start of the month he had a 5 day sailing course which much to my relief he loved.

ET how is it possible he is officially a man now at 18 but he will always be my timid little boy scared of everything. He is working part time at M & S for the summer then in September he is going back to college (I hope he sticks it out for longer than a term this time).

OJ is quite the independent young man at 19 son to be 20 he is doing well at Uni and is currently in Thailand with some of his Uni friends for 5 weeks. When he gets back here he will be moving into a house that he will be sharing with the same friends he is with now.

DC I don't see or hear much from him these days he is busy living his own life. He has also finished his first year at Ui and has already moved into a house with friends. He is also working through the summer (at last).

Mum is slowly recovering from her last knee op, she can now walk short distances without her stick, but she does suffer when she has done too much walking about. She drives short distances ie around out town and maybe to the adjoining town. But no further, her driving worries me and I always insist on driving whenever we go anywhere together. Last weekend I took her for an overnight visit to my grandmother in the Cotswolds.

Grandmother is now 91 and thankfully stopped driving last year. She still lives alone and seems to manage but her memory is not great. She talks a lot about her father and her sister. But also her little boy and her daughter. She asked me if I ever met her little boy (he was my dad). She cried when we were leaving ..........she doesn't think she will see me again.

SF is not my favourite person right now. In the last 3 months he has paid me only £50 towards the upkeep of our children. He is meant to give me £100 per month so he is £250 short. He says he has no money and anyway I earn more than him and have a laptop and run a car. I was thinking about going back to the CSA to get money from him when I received a letter from them advising of a new calculation of what he should be paying. I have called them asking that they collect the money from him. It would mean that he can't miss payments plus I would get more, not a lot but it all helps.

Sailor He is getting used to living on his own, spends a lot of time with his daughters and grandson. We see each other when we can, last weekend we went out sailing (with Plumber) it was the first time I had been out on the open sea.

Plumber........what can I say except that he loves me, he wishes I was his wife.

My garden is about to get a make over, very soon, a gardener is going to dig up just over half of my garden and paving it for me. A week later a contractor from my housing association are finally replacing my fence. (It has only taken since November).

Still alive

Ok so I have not blogged for a while.

There have been a few times when I have thought...............I could blog about that. But by the time I get a chance the inspiration has gone.

There hasn't been much to blog about really. My work has been busy, Since March I have been attempting to keep up with as much work as I can which has seen me working through my lunch break a few times just to keep the pressure down a bit. The reason is that where a year ago there were three of us working together (in theory). Then since september it was reduced to two of us, since March my colleague has been covering another important post within the company (one which is vital to the running of the company). So for the last few months I have been trying to cope mostly on my own. (Business has also picked up a bit too). This has meant that I have been coming home exhausted. However things should be getting back to normal in the next few months with two new staff joining the office very soon.

I suppose I should update you on what happened after my last post.

SF arrived at my home with his friend and colleague from before he lost his licence 4 years ago. I chatted to GG for a few minutes as I hadn't seen him for a few years. SF is very lucky to have such a good friend who will turn out for him in times of need. (hmmm idea just sprung to mind GG now on his own since both kids have left home.........hmm perhaps should suggest this).

I offered SF a cuppa but he was ok he had his beer (a case of it) during the evening I chatted to him with our boys. He has been smoking since I filed for divorce, but agreed to smoke outside as this has always been a smoke free zone. It was fine while I was sat downstairs with SF and ET. I reiterated that it would only be one night.

It was after I went to bed that it got worse for me. ET had also gone to bed shortly after me, I heard the stairs and landing creaking, I heard SF's voice outside my door, he was speaking to JA & ET. I lay awake until gone 2am listening to every noise worrying that my door would open. The memories of those 7 months of hell while he still lived in the house during our divorce came flooding back. The fears and feelings I had during that time had returned. There is no way in this world I could have another night like that. In the morning I got ready for work as I was leaving I woke JA telling him to ake his father a cuppa and get him to leave when he went to school. I was not impressed that the whole house stank of cigarette smoke and he had used one of my candle dishes as an ashtray. At work I worried that he wouldn't go. I phoned OJ (he had been out the previous night) repeatedly until he assured me at 9am that his dad had gone. Two days later he phoned me to ask if he could sleep on my sofa again. I said NO and he accepted that and to my relief hasn't bothered me since.

That same night I had also told Plumber online that it was time he started being honest with me. Of course he had no idea what I was talking about. But because SF arrived while we were talking we couldn't have a proper conversation that night. A couple of nights later we had a heated conversation about his lies. He has now admitted that he does live at home some of the time but they have seperate rooms. Hes still not being totally honest but its a start and he now knows that I will not stand for bare faced lies. Our relationship if you can call it that has become stronger. Over recent weeks he has said that he thinks I deserve a better life and if he could he would give it to me but current circumstances mean he can't at present. He says that he won't stop me seeing others and hopes I wont stop him but he won't go out of his way to see other women .......I satisfy all his needs. (whatever he means by that).

Plumber knows I have been seeing Sailor (who also knows about Plumber). They are both happy to share me but don't want me to be hurt or damaged. A few times there have been half arrangements for the three of us to go sailing together. But on the day things didn't work out. I have now been out in the harbour with Sailor on his boat a couple of times, once just using the engine then on Monday after work we spent a couple of hours sailing while the weather was good. I really enjoyed that and hope to go again this weekend. Plumber is very jealous (of us sailing).

Tuesday evening I had a posh frock evening (thank heavens for ebay) I wore a purple dress
with silver heels ..........my mum calls them y 'Dorothy slippers'. It was the Rotary club President's night. Very different to previous ones I had been to. This was at a pub on the A32 that I have passed many times but not taken much notice of because it does not look inviting from outside. It turns out to be a restaurant that has tribute acts performing a caberate on a small stage. The room we were in had a very strange mix of traditional countryside prints including a Roebuck, and theatrical ornamentation. There was a chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. The place is run by a couple of men who had been in the theatre in their past. One of them apparently was one of the countries leading pantomime Dames.

So now you know what has been going on in my life in the last 5 or 6 weeks.

Day time tv

The last week has meant a lot of sleeping. I don't think I have slept this much for years. The last time I felt this ill was whan I had a virus and my Dr thought my cancer had returned.

There has been a lot of tv watching. I have watched a lot of house programs either finding or doing up. I have wat
ched a few CSI programs. There have been old episodes of Top Gear. I have even stooped to watching Jeremy Kyle. There have been panel games and quiz shows.

There have been a fair few chats with a few men I have begun chatting to recently but being ill I have not really been that bothered about chatting a lot. My attention has been limited and have often just trialed off either forgetting they were still there or telling them I need to sleep.

But there has been one man I have chatted to most days on and off. He is having problems with his internet at the moment but BT have promised to have him back online by Tues. Feeling a touch of cabin fever after a week in my sick bed I agreed to go out for a drink with him. He really is a lovely man and fairly local too. I will definately be seeing more of him. (Actually this was not our first date as I met him before I became ill).
For much of the week food has been a big issue. I knew I had to eat to get stronger but eating anything was such a struggle. Hot food was out of the question as it made me gag, even the smell of food being cooked by/for my boys made me feel queasy. Eating anything was a chore, it was taking 5 minutes to eat a biscuit. But little by little I have got there, against his instincts Plumber brought me ice cream, cartons of custard and packets of instant dessert. I needed food that I could swallow without having to chew it. Apart from my boys Plumber was the only person I saw all week. He came round twice in one day although most days he said he would call in. He is an has been very goo for me but I still can't rely on him.

On Friday DC came home for a while and between us we made up a shopping list which he and OJ went off and bought returning 2 hours later......they seem to have bought everything I asked for. There have now been 3 occasions when all 4 of my boys have been in the house at the same time which has been nice. DC has even got himself a part time job (not before time) starting next weekend. OJ has been tutoring a friend's brother in A level maths every day this week for £10 hr. ET has got himself an interview to go back to college in Sept.

Things are beginning to look up.

more than a friend

I thought that after my last post I should write a new one about Plumber.

We seem to have fallen into a comfortable friendship. Which is what he wants, a good friendship without commitment. He tells me that I am his lover and his friend. At the moment it is more friend than lover as there has been no intimacy between us since last summer. He visits me at home often, whether it is to help me with any jobs like my garden clearance or for a cuppa and a natter. But whilst he is here there is no intimacy at all. I would be quite happy to have a cuddle and kiss but while my sons are home he will behave like the perfect gentleman.

He says he is my fairy godfather, he likes to help me out. He tells me that he is always here for me. He tells me that if my landlords don't get my fence fixed soon he will do it and send them the bill. (I am still waiting for him to fix my shower since last June). I know he will do anything for me, I just can't rely on him.

Since he finally managed to switch to my main msn account we chat online more often. Last weekend we chatted in the early evening but he soon went off to bed early as he was very tired after working all day. I was up late but was just about falling asleep in the middle of editing some photos. It was slow going and was almost 3am, when I noticed the little orange tab showing that Plumber was chatting. I was more asleep than awake but this unexpected turn of events meant that I was soon wide awake again. We had the silliest conversation (one of these word association type conversations). starting off with him saying he would call round next day if I was in.

I have a date with a hoover

Edgar?

Damn you guessed

This went on for ages skipping from one subject to another until we ran out of steam when we got to cheddar gorge being cheesy. By this time it was 5.30am. This was a really silly conversation but it was one of the best even if it was at a stupid hour.

Earlier this week we were chatting early in the evening when I mentioned that it would be nice to have a cuddle. His immediate reaction was to ask what was the matter. I told him there was nothing wrong, I didn't need a cuddle just thought it would be nice. He came round for a cuppa and a natter on Thursday eve. We had been sat together on my sofa for a couple of hours when to my suprise he put his arm around me. I was even more suprised that he kept his arm around me when ET came through to make himself a drink. Plumber and ET had a conversation about job hunting. Still he kept his arm around me. Later he said something about me having the cuddle I had wanted. (there were a few kisses involved too).

Next evening ET asked me

Is Plumber now your boyfriend?

He is my friend

You don't cuddle friends

I left it at that, I don't feel inclined to explain to my 18 yr old son that Plumber is my friend with benefits (more friend less benefits ~ although I benefit from being his friend).

clearance

Over the years I have been adding to a collection that I would have preferred not to start.

It began while SF was still here. For many years SF worked for a company whose main business was/is waste disposal. Among the many things that annoyed me about SF was that most people take their rubbish to the tip but he had a habit of bringing other people's unwanted possessions home with him. One of these things was an upright piano keyboard. It was being thrown out by a school as it was passed it usefulness. For sometime it stood in my living/dinning area taking up valuable space. It was good for the boys to practice their keyboard skills provided they didn't play it for more than 10 minutes at a time (it had a habit of turning itself off).

So eventually it was moved outside a placed on the small patio up against the fence, before it would be disposed of. It was joined by a 3 seater sofa that had been replaced (by another second hand one). Neither of these items were going to fit into my car to be taken to the household tip. Over the last few years more and more has been added to this collection. I have made numerous trip to the tip getting rid of smaller items. As fast as I got rid of stuff more took its place.

I could have asked the council to take away the keyboard and sofa but they would have charged me. I could have borrowed or hired a van but I couldn't afford that and commercial vans are not permitted at the tip. I considered hiring a skip but even if I could afford it there is nowhere for it to be left as I do not have a drive neither is there a road outside my house.

All I could do was keep making trips to the tip with the smaller items that could be loaded into my small car. When I got my new furniture a few weeks ago I was determined not to let the pile of rubbish that my collection had become get any bigger.

I made up my mind that I would take a day off work during the school holidays so that I had teenagers to help. I text Plumber asking if he would be around on the date as I would be taking a day off. I told him what I planned and he agreed to help.

On the day Plumber arrived just as I was moving my car around to the garages to be loaded up for the first time. Between us with JA and ET we began the long task of clearing away as much as we could. Whilst we were doing this we heard the glanging of the hand bell being rung by te local scrap metal collector. That was lucky he doesn't come by very often (not that I would know not normally being at home in the day). He took away the old excercise bike, bbq and an old bike.

Plumber stood looking at the task ahead of us. He knew that with only my car to transport everything this was going to be a long hard day (in the rain). He asked for my phone book made a few calls and arranged for someone to call round in the afternoon to see what needed clearing.

Plumber went off to do some errands while I made the trip to the tip for what would now be the only time that day. He returned just prior to the arrival of the clearance man who judged the job would cost £150 and he could do it the next morning. Plumber paid him out of his own pocket.

True to their word when I returned home from work next day it was all gone.

Tea for two

All week I have meant to write a post but wearyness over took me. It has taken me a full week to recover from last weekend.

On Friday evening I had arranged to go with my friend Jane to hear Plumber's rock band playing at a venue about 12 miles away. Jane had had a nightmare couple of days and only just got home when I was getting ready to go out so we were later leaving than intended. I think it was around 9.30pm when we walked in to the very quiet pub. Plumber had warned me that they treat gigs at this pub as practice sessions as it is never very busy. But I wasn't prepared for just how quiet it was especially as this pub is fairly big. Apart from the band and their entourage and the bar staff there perhaps a dozen customers in the pub.

Plumber greeted us saying that there had been a problem with one of the amps but they were still going to play. As the evening progressed more people arrived and the atmosphere improved. Plumber came over to speak to us a few times. I invited him to come round for a cup of tea after the gig (knowing it would be late). I did offer to open a bottle of wine but he would stil have to drive home so opted for tea. After the gig ended Jane and I headed out to my car, we were just getting settled in our seats when Plumber came looking for us. He complained that we had left without saying goodbye. (I didn't want to draw attention to our relationship in front of his friends). Jane thought it was very romantic that he had come looking for me.

Once I had driven home after dropping Jane off, I put on the kettle, lit my assortment of candles on the mantlepiece and grabbed some time to relax with my laptop while I waited. OJ who had come home for a few days was sat in the livingroom. I quickly went onto facebook changing my status to read................kettle on, candles lit, waiting for Plumber to arrive. It was about 1am when ET came in saying

'whats this about Plumber..........he isn't coming round now is he?'

With that both boys disappeared upstairs. You see Face Book does have it uses...........I didn't even have to ask my sons to give us some privacy.

It was 1.45am when Plumber arrived. We sat on my new sofa chatting and drinking tea until 3am. By the time I had turned everything off and gone to bed it was gone 3.45 when I finally went to sleep.

Just call me Rose

Did I ever tell you that my name is Rose?

Have you ever heard of second hand Rose?

Well thats me. Second Hand Rose

Why am I telling you this now you might ask.

Back at the end of November I was asked if I wanted to change my 3 piece suite. I was being offered my friend PB's parents' suite as they were getting a new one. I was shown a photo of a suite in the same colour scheme as my livingroom. The yellow suite I have had for the last 5 years or so had previously belonged to PB and her then husband. As had the pink suite we had before that. Having 4 sons who were not only football and cricket mad but also into wrestling it didn't take long for these sofas to be ruined. I am glad I have never had new furniture while my boys were intent on climbing and jumping all over it. This time though I am hoping that the two still at home are old enough and mature enough to treat our furniture with more respect.

So today was the day my new suite was delievered by PB and my boss. But before they could deliver it I needed to make room for it. I had decided to keep the 2 seater sofa but throw out the 3 seater. Saturday evening saw me and ET attempting to get it out through the kitchen to our back garden. (I am planning to get a skip sometime soon to get rid of all the rubbish that is still there). Between us we manouvered it to the doorway upended it and began to move it through the gap. Half way through it wedged itself with just a couple of inches on either side I was stuck in the kitchen whilst ET was in the livingroom. It wouldn't move either way, so ET stood on the other sofa to reach the side of the arm cutting away at the fabric and foam covering in the hope that this would make a difference. When he had stripped away as much as he could there was nothing more he could do. Eventually we managed to get it back into the livingroom. It didn't matter which way we turned it, there was noway it was going to fit.

There was nothing else for it but to set about dismantling it. Out came my mallet and a pair of scissors. I excused ET saying I would call him when I need him. I actually enjoy weilding my mallet, seeing something solid reduced to a pile of wood and fabric. Not only does it give me great satisfaction but it is easier to get it outside and eventually into my car to the tip. I managed to break it down enough to get it through the kitchen door swivel it round and out through the back door..............all on my own. Then the clearing up process began. It's no wonder my shoulder has been aching since.

Now that I have a new two seater sofa and two arm chairs I think the old 2 seater will have to go too as there is not enough room otherwise.

This afternoon I took my mum out for a short drive. Nowhere exciting just to get her out of the house as she is feeling the effects of cabin fever now after a month of being stuck inside.

not an old boiler

I have just had a good week

Not an exceptional week but a fairly decent one. On Tuesday I had a call from Spark he was placing an order but will only speak to me so instead of calling the office he calls my mobile. Not that I mind much. Because of the nature of his business he tends to collect his orders rather than have them delivered. But this time it was going to be difficult so he asked if I would be able to meet him to deliver his goods. As our journeys home from work took us in opposite directions along the same road.

So on Tuesday after work I drove over the hill to the Gladstonian where I parked next to spark's car. No sooner was I out of the car than he was kissing me. I broke out of his embrace and suggested we transfer the parcels from my car to his. He asked if we could sit in my car for a bit.
After a little more kissing Spark told me that he has thought about me a lot. He asked if I had been thinking about him and did I ever think we might meet up again.

'no not really..............you are not available and I am worth more than a quick fumble in a car'.

I think that suprised him. Although he did agree with me quite emphatically about being worth more. We talked and kissed for a while before going our seperate ways.

On wednesday late afternoon I found some money that someone had dropped. It was quite a bit of money and I could really do with it at this time. It would be really helpful a I don't get paid until next friday. I was telling Plumber about it later and he said

'I hope you kept it......but knowing you, you did the honest thing and handed it in.'

of course he was right, I did hand it in. Although it was very tempting I know I would be devastated if I had lost that amount of money and it didn't get handed in, besides I believe in Karma. It also felt good to be doing the right thing.

During my chat with Plumber I told him that I was meant to be going out on Saturday evening with a friend but I might have to tell her I couldn't afford it. I told him which pub in the city we were going to. I know that the band he roadie's for play there sometimes. But he told me we should go to their gig at a more local pub (in the village where my friend now lives) on friday. He even said he would give me money for drinks.

Work has been good too.....the volume of work coming in is not high but I have been able to make progress with a few of my projects. There is also a trade show at the Birmingham NEC very soon which my boss will be attending with a trade stand for several days. I shall be there on the Sunday which will be good experience for me and good for my networking. I have a choice now....do I drive there and back on the Sunday knowing that I will have to be in the office working on the Monday. Or get a lift there and train home (2 1/2 hrs drive or 3 1/2 hrs by train).

I was telling Forest about going up to the show, he thought I meant this Sunday, which would put paid to his plan to invite me round for some fun this sunday evening. After clearing up that bit of confusion I said I would consider it and let him know.

Friday evening arrived my friend picked me up and took me back to her place from where we walked to the pub which was already buzzing. A double rum and coke or two later when the band had begun playing I turned around and found one of my neighbours stood behind me. We chatted for a few minutes, our sons are friends. It occurred to me that I might be able to get a lift home with him. However he only stayed for the first set so that was no good. In the end I asked Plumber if he knew anyone who could give me a lift otherwise I would have to order a taxi. Plumber said that he could take me but I would have to wait for him to load up the van drive it to the drummer's house not far away and come back with his car.

His mate who has been over from his new home in a warmer european country (staying with him) offered to wait with me. He was very friendly and told me all about the lifestyle where he now lives. He did say 'so you know plumber then'. I was very vague just saying 'yes we are friends'. Fortunately our transport arrived just then. I climbed in the back and Plumber drove me home. On arrival he walked me to my back door (out of sight of his car) where he kissed me, told me that his mate doesn't know he is seperated. Noticed the state of my garden fence (which we had discussed at the time it came down a few months ago). He also said that he hoped I would be able to go to he party they were having on Saturday night.

I was feeling hungry when I got in so made a pasta snack but used too much water so it was too sloppy but at 1am I wasn't going to make anything else. To my suprise when I turned on my laptop Forest was there saying 'hello drunk' . I had warned him earlier that I was going out drinking. ( he isn't a night owl like me). I am afriad I fell asleep chatting to him. when I woke up half an hour later he had said good night so had Plumber who had also tried to chat to me.

Whilst at my mother's on saturday afternoon ET called to say there was a problem with our boiler, he had put more gas on but couldn't get the boiler to fire up. I went home to sort it out only to discover that it has lost pressure and needs to be re-pressurised. Fine! we followed all te instructions, locate flexible filler loop. That was the problem we couldn't find one. We checked online, I called Plumber and LV for help. Plumber was very good spending ages trying to help me on the phone but wasn't available to come round. He was setting up the gear for the night's gig in a village a little way off. (I told him I wasn't going after all as my friend couldn't get a babysitter). If I couldn't get it sorted he would call round on sunday to fix it for me.

I called LV who also spent ages on the phone trying to find the solution. Between all of us we conclude that the 'flexible filling loop' has been hard fitted, but I couldn't get it to do anything. So here I am on sunday morning feeling cold and unwashed. Waiting for a suitable time to request a visit from Plumber.





Plumber has been and took all of a minute to fix the problem :)

weather and all that

It is no exaggeration to say that I have never seen anything like it.

Setting out at 6.45 am I slid gingerly along my garden path onto the public footpath. It only took 2 steps to realise I would be better off walking along the crisp frozen grass crunching along until I had to cross the pavement to grab hold of a neighbours garden fence. When the fence ran out I had no choice but to launch myself across the back ice topped tarmac down onto the road to where my car was parked. Slowly making my way around the car with scraper in hand, working to remove the ice from the windows. Icy rain making everything colder and wetter. Driving very very slowly skidding at the bottom of the road we crawled to the main road.

Carefully we made our way into town observing that pedestrians were without exception using the road rather than the paths. By the time I got ET to work we were a little late but at least we arrived in one piece. I was about to return home when I decided to pull over and phone my friend/neighbour/colleague PB to warn her what the roads were like. This was a bit of a mistake as I then couldn't get my car moving at first. However perseverance helped and with in a few minutes I was on my way again.

Calling into the local petrol station I found the forecourt being guarded by a man in a high visibilty coat standing next to a large sign proclaiming 'seriously severe ice'. He told me that they were open but be very careful. After filling up and completing my business I returned home passing PB as she was just leaving. Turning my car around I saw another neighbour (who I worked with a few years ago) with container of salt in her hand. She told me that she couldn't open her garage, as she couldn't stay on her feet. She had fallen and hurt herself already. Parking up I again managed to skate from my car to the pavement grabbing hold of my neighbour's fence I hauled myself along until I reached the grass (still crunchy even though it had been raining for some time by then). Once I reached my path I launched myself across the great devide that was formerly the pavement now an ice rink. Hanging on to the fence post geting a faceful of frozen wet leaves from the shrub that overhangs my side of the fence. (thank heavens I had cut it back about a month or so ago).

I left the house again at 8.40am for an audiology appointment at a local health centre. This time it was light and I could actually see the ice. There was not only ice on the road and footpaths but on the fences everything. Everything that was exposed to the elements was coated in solid ice. Never in my life have I seen so much ice everywhere. Again I crunched my way along the grass then holding onto the fence. Skating to my car I could see the frozen footprints where I had earlier stood to scrap the ice off which had now frozen again. Our road was still very icy but the traffic had by now churned the ice up to frozen slush. Even on the main road traffic was moving very gingerly. I didn't have far to go to reach the health centre. I noticed that the few people who were either brave or stupid enough to venture out were avoiding the paths still. As I attempted to turn into the health centre car park I saw that the gates were closed with a sign saying 'car park closed dangerous ice'.

On the one hand I could see the sense in that but on the other hand it was stupid. Perhaps there would be people falling over in the car park which like everything else was dangerously slippery. But where better to have a fall than in a place where there are doctors and nurses. Instead patients were forced to park across the road where there is a small parade of shops. I parked my car in one of the few remaining bays slid across the road running along the parade. Up onto the ornamental paving hanging onto the metal railings that surround the beds of shrubs that decorate the area. I made my way to the gap that led to the outer pavement lining the main road. At this point I had no choice but to let go and free slide to the edge and step into the road. Luckily there was still not much traffic (a mere fraction of normal) and those cars on the road were moving slowly. Reaching the opposite side of the road I joined about 4 others who were gingerly picking their way from gate to door of the health centre.

Once inside I was suprised to see an old friend working as a receptionist. I waited for heer to finish a protracted telephone call before greeting her. To my utter amazement she told me that she is now a granny (twice over), I assumed that this was from her daughter from her first marriage but no both her sons have become fathers. Her sons were school friends of DC and OJ. In years past there were often weekends when I had one of her boys sleeping over while she had one of mine. (in fact I had not long collected OJ from there when he fell out the window ripping open his armpit, about 9 or 10 yrs ago).

Anyway she made a note that I had arrived although it took her a while to find my name on the list as she was looking for LiR not my real name of Lady. (ok so that is not my real name but you get the idea). I then sat in the waiting room reading my book. Mother phoned me to tell me not to go out because it loks very icy, I shouldn't go to work (I would normally have been at work almost an hour by this time). I had to cut the call short when I was called in by the 'trainee scientist'. It was my time for my early christmas present. The young lady who didn't look much older than DC explained that she felt I would benefit from a different type of aid from the one originally planned for me.

I was hooked up to a computer via various wires connected to a machine that made noises at me. After an age during which she fiddled with her computer whilst I sat staring (as instructed) at the speaker emitting noises that would not be out of place on an episode of Dr who, she was satisfied that she had set the appropriate levels for me. This device I shall be wearing from here on in is a clever little thing. Not only has it been set reasonably quietly to give me a chance to get used to the new sounds I shall be able to hear but it gradually increases the volume over several months until it reaches the optimum volume. But I can adjust the volume according to various situations and it will remember those changes and make those adjustments itself next time I am in a similar setting. Armed with my new 'open fit' hearing aid, spare batteries, tips, tubes and leaflets I was now free to get off to work.

Although it was gone 9.30 by now it was still extremely icy outside. How I managed to stay on my feet I really don't know as my feet did slip countless times on my various trips to and from my car. Anyhow I made it safely back across the two road to my car and set off to work. Once I got back to the main road I was ok but I did still see others struggling. I made it to work without incident unlike many others according to my radio. This being our last day before we broke up for christmas I prayed we would be let off early today (in the hope the roads would have thawed and not refrozen). We were in luck, stock take completed we finished at 3 pm. Armed with my christmas cards a bottle of spiced rum and two bottles of shiraz I bade my colleagues christmas wishes and departed.

I didn't go home I collected a few items from a local store and called round to see my mother and collect the turkey. I was just leaving mother when OJ text me asking for a lift home from his soccer match at 6.30pm. That was an hour away, first I collected ET from work. While were were driving home there were flashes of lightning in the sky among the dark clouds. It was drizzling but nothing worse, the ice had eventually melted whilst I was at work. However when I was driving home with OJ the drizzle had become heavy rain that turned to hail. By the time we were half way home (its about 2 miles) the road appeared to be covered with snow. The hail was so thick everything was now covered in a blanket of white at least an inch deep. Hours later this carpet of white was still there. Adding to the excitement of our short journey was the sudden crash of thunder accompanying the sky splitting lightning.

This is one day I shall remember for the weather for a long time yet. How was your day?

All change

I had a visit yesterday lunch time from Plumber. I can't remember the last time I saw him (I would have to check back on here to find out). In the mean time he has been in Spain twice (hes been back a week since his last trip) so he is looking rather tanned. He also looked rather shocked but pleased when he saw me.

Did I mention that I had my hair cut two weeks ago and after wearing it in a bob for a few years then letting it grow quite long I have gone back to wearing it short. Very few people (family aside) who I see frequently these days have seen me with short hair before. Somewhere further down my sidebar there is a photo of the new me taken by LV the day after it was cut. (we had been out for lunch in the New Forest). Apparently the new style makes me look younger. One of my friends from my pre marriage life commented on my new picture on face book that I look no different than I did more than 2 years ago............well she can't see the grey hair and wrinkles in that small picture.

My relationship with Plumber has changed in recent months. When it started we agreed to having a casual relationship ........we were not committed to each other and could see others. All very well but he was very jealous if he thought I was seeing anyone else not that I ever talked about it. I knew he really likes me but wasn't prepared to give me any kind of commitment so I felt justified in seeing others without making a thing of it. He used to tell me that he had growing feelings for me.............but that was as far as it goes. Our friendship has grown and I know that I only have to ask and he will do anything for me (if he has time). I know he would be happy to continue to see me on a casual basis although not very often these days, but I ahve made it clear to him that I am nolonger happy with a casual relationship. For me it has to be a committed relationship so I am now looking for a long term relationship again not casual. (although I am not really looking very hard at the moment but just enjoying life as it is).

Life at the moment involves being more into family life. With the two older boys gone (although not for long enough for us to get used to it) the three of us who are left have been spending more time together actually sitting in our livingroom for hours at a time instead of all being in different rooms. This week ET suddenly got in the mood to tidy their bedroom (I had been saying that it was such a mess with clothes all over the floor that I wouldn't go in there). This led to more change. JA has moved into the box room (formerly DC's room). Tv, stereo, and other such things have been moved around and both boys are now quite happy to have a room of their own. With a dozen bin liners lined up in the livingroom full of rubbish/old clothes, this led to a trip to the amenity tip yesterday.

On Thursday evening ET was complaining that the light in his room isn't very bright. (with bunkbeds and a cabin bed in the one room it is a very dark room). He has the brightest (energy saving) light bulb I had, I figured that having an uplighter shade probably doesn't help. The light shade in JA' new room is all bent and scorched so I took the shade from ET's room and put it on JA's room. Now I need to get a new shade for ET , I found that the light fitting is so old that the part the bulb goes into is very brittle and burnt as I was screwing it back on bits were breaking off. After putting JA's shade up I discovered that I couldn't replace the bulb as the metal housing for the bayonet was broken on one side. OK no problem I would get new fittings for both at the weekend.

This is where it is useful to have a Plumber for a friend. Late on Friday night/early saturday morning he came online after a gig. We chatted and I mentioned the light fittings.............in a flash he offered to come over and do them for me and supply the fittings too. (sorry couldn't help myself). Hence he came to see me on a Saturday lunchtime. (he also had a long chat with ET about RAF and Forces life in general ............he was a weapons engineer in Army before becoming a PT instructor).

Finally Student Finance have got their act together. Having applied online for student grants back in April, sending off my documents in May, (receiving them back in July) now in October I received two 'Urgent' emails telling me that I need to send more documents, only they didn't say what. It took several phone calls to find out that they wanted my P60 for 2007/8 but I had sent my P60 for 2008/9. ................It is beyond me why they couldn't have said this on the comp slip that accompanied my documents when they were returned. Why did it take from May until October to tell me they needed a different P60 and even then only after several phone calls from me. DC posted the correct P60 on Monday 12th October on Friday 16th I had two letters addressed to the boys for them to sign and return so that the monay they are getting can be paid. I now have to post OJ's to him so he can sign it and post it again before the threatened postal strike on Thursday/friday. I saw DC for half an hour yesterday so he has done his. I only hope that next year it is all done much quicker.

Family steps

It has been a tiring week, a good one but tiring all the same.

Work has continued to be good, I am enjoying my work again just as I used to do.

Preparations for the exodus have been stepped up a gear. (Nagging increased too). DC was quite happy with his idea that he would just load everything into my car as it was, no boxes or bags required!!!!! I had brought some boxes home from work for him to use. I told him that my job was to ensure he had the essentials and be his driver on the day but packing was down to him.

Thursday evening I took him to visit my mum so that he could tell her a bit about his american trip before we went shopping. She presented him with a cheque to keep him going for the first few weeks (student finance is still pending). He insisted that our trip to Asda would be quick as he wanted to visit Charlie. We didn't leave there until 10.15pm and over £100 later with a trolley laden with "essentials" and even some food (cereal, pasta, long life milk etc). He didn't get to see Charlie that night.

On Friday I decided that as two of my boys are over the legal age to drink and I have never bought either of them a drink we would all go out for a drink when I finished work. We drove up onto the hill so that they could see the view over the city as they drank. Would you believe it .....everyone of them had Appletiser!! .....well that was a cheap round for mum. It was interesting though to hear DC and ET giving OJ advice about beer and alcho pop drinks. DC is concerned that OJ will be a wet rag during his Freshers week. Neither of us want him to sit alone in his room while the other students are out enjoying themselves. Later at home DC gave OJ a bottle of beer to try, he wasn't impressed with the taste but did a very good impression of a drunk leaning against the wall. I was struck by how accurate his impression was of how his dad used to be. I had completely forgotten what the staggering had been like. Obviously OJ hadn't forgotten, I was very shocked by this act.

DC and I had agreed that we would leave early on Saturday morning as he didn't have a specific time slot for moving in (unlike OJ), especially as Southampton FC which is just a stones throw from his Halls of residence, were playing at home. However he didn't appear until about 10am and still needed to pack my car. He thought we would need to make two trips but I managed to get it all in. The forecast had been for showers but it was hot and sunny (27 according to my car at one point and 24 for much of the time). Finally he was in his new home with his belongings and I left him at 1.45pm. (during the afternoon I got a series of texts telling me the things he had forgotten but wanted). So that is one son stepping out on his own to begin the next stage in his life. Next week we repeat the process with OJ.

Last weekend ET discovered a function on his mobile phone that allows him to turn his wallpaper into a pedometre. We both have Sony Ericsson phones so he has changed mine too. Each day we have had to compare how many steps each of us has taken during the day. (not so easy for me as most of my clothes are pocket less.) There have been many times I have left my phone on my desk/bed forgetting to carry it with me. Anyway I have made a concerted effort to make sure that each day I reach or exceed the final total of the previous day. Having a job that is desk based doesn't lend itself to a particularly active life. But my determination not to have a bad day has encouraged me to walk more than I would otherwise do (no bad thing). After yesterday with trips to and from my car, a tour of Halls, a trip into town centre with OJ to choose his first pair of glasses, followed by a wander round Asda kept my total for yesterday quite healthy. So today I was trying to figure out how I was going to keep up my record. It occurred to me that I could go for a walk somewhere, but where?

I decided to take the boys on a mystery tour, they wanted to watch the football on tv but came anyway. It was the first time I had been to Winchester Hill in daylight (each time Plumber has taken me there it has been dark). It had been overcast all day but I was convinced it would still be relatively warm. I hadn't banked on the drizzle we were greeted with. Even with the low grey cloud and drizzle we could still see a very long way into the distance towards Southampton. We walked to the iron age fort and back, a good hour plus which gave me not only a healthy total on my pedometre but also a healthy red glow too. I was shattered by the time we arrived back home to the aroma of casserole and baked potatoes almost ready.

During this coming week more steps will be taken by this family, both on our pedometres and as my boys move nearer to their future lives. This time next week OJ will be in his new home and ET will be about to set out on his next adventure.

Time flying by

It only seems like 5 minutes since I was trooping around checking out Universities with OJ.



Now all of a sudden it is almost time for him to go.


In 12 days DC moves into halls at Southampton (he will have been home from his trip for just one week). 7 days later OJ will be moving into halls at Guildford (he has booked his moving in slot 13.30 - 15.30)

This evening we have had a taste of what life will be like. DC is still away, OJ has gone out with friends and ET has been out since lunch time with his new g/f. All evening JA has been saying hello to me. He has gone to bed early because he is bored. He could have made the most of having the TV, PC and PS3 all to himself but it isn't the same without his brothers to argue over them with.


I can't believe it is already more than a week since we got back from our lovely holiday. Tonight I finished resizing my many photos.









Early morning on the deserted beach
swans at Potter Heigham where we eventually had a boat trip on the Broads.

I heard today that following another visit to see her consultant this morning it has been agreed that my mother will be having another operation on her knee..............I hope that after this one she will at last be able to walk again. The pain and inability to walk much have really aged my mother during the last few years. She is 66 going on 75.

Being a mother is the best and hardest job there is

I have just returned from one of the best holidays I have had. Sharing a 2 bedroom caravan with my crippled mother and 3 of my 4 teenage sons. The site was very small approx 40 caravans on a tiny plot meant that there was very little room to swing a cat (if we had taken one) either inside or outside the caravan. Our caravan was no more than 70 feet from the beach. (allowing for 2 x 20ft caravans plus space between). Immidiately in front of the front row of caravans there was a low wall seperating the beach from the caravan site. The sand was gloriously soft and felt lovely under foot, there were a few reed covered dunes then more soft sand before a band of pebbles between the soft sand and the water's edge. I spent a lot of time walking, sitting and photographing that beach (Caister on Sea). My sons played games and buried each other many times.

We did a lot of driving around the broads (I did the driving everyone else just watched the ever changing scenery). We planned a trip on a paddle steamer from Hickling, had a scrumptious meal while we waited for our trip, then I got stung by a wasp on the underside of my arm (excruciating pain). In a way it was a good thing that at the last minute two coaches turned up and took all the places on the boat so we couldn't go. It would have meant a further 1.5 hrs before I could get to the anti histamin cream and tablets.

We drove passed the RAF Base ET would be going to for his training (only to find when we returned home that he is now going to a different base). A visit to the zoo involved hiring a wheelchair for me to push my mother around in (a glimps of the future perhaps). We finally managed to get a boat trip on Friday from Potter Heigham luckily it was a covered boat as we were hit by a storm during the ride. (We had been so lucky with the weather until then).

I thoroughly enjoyed everything (apart from the wasp sting) but what really made the holiday so good was just being totally relaxed and enjoying being with my sons (mother too but more especially my boys). It was really good to see them enjoying themselves and enjoying being together (not always on the computer/games console). I had many many cuddles with both ET and JA, not so much OJ (being nearly 19 hes far too grown up to have cuddles with his mummy).

It was very important to me that we had this holiday together. I very much doubt that it will ever happen again. Next year even if I have two of them I doubt I would have all three together again for a holiday. All our lives will have changed in the next 12 months. My one regret about this holiday is that DC was not with us but he has already branched out by going to USA with his friends. We have had sporadic contact with him as they progress from west to east coast (last we heard they were in Denver).

Now we are back home, back to realilty. There was a letter waiting for ET his pre joining course has been brought forward to 28th Sept. He has his train tickets, all he has to do is get a train to London Waterloo, find his way to London Liverpool Street then get a train to Bury St Edmunds. He has a choice of two trains to BSE one arrives at 18.32 the other at 20.50 (transport will collect him and others at 21.00) so he is faced with a choice, wait around for 2.5 hrs or get the later train with the risk his train could be late. Now I have no worries about him getting to or from London on his own it is the bit in the middle that is causing the crisis (mainly my mother in a panic). He has only ever been to London a couple of times and never alone. (mother is convinced he will be mugged). I now have a list of items he will need to have with him for these 4 days. I have just managed to get him some high leg black boots (no steel toe caps) with heel and ankle support from ebay. (hopefully he can get them broken in by the time he goes).

The month of September is looming up in front of me with all these changes and arrangements that need to be organised. I can see that come October I shall be exhausted. Between now and 4th (3rd really) I have to make sure JA has everything he needs for the new school year, I had asked their father to do this for him, he hasn't...........as usual it is left to me. JA already has the biggest feet in the family (I only hope he doesn't keep growing too much). DC who returns from his trip on 11th will no doubt sleep for a couple of days while I try to get him organised for his move into University Halls on 19th. Whilst all this is happening I am trying to organise OJ ready for his move into Halls on 26th follwed by ET's adventure on 28th. (working full time all this time).

I have always believed that I am not the kind of mother who wraps her children in cotton wool. I have always given my children freedom (within reason and safety). I believe that although I have never had any control over my children I have managed to instill good manners and morals into them. I am often praised for how well spoken and behaved bright young men they are. However during this time of preparation it has hit me that I have not done such a great job. During our holiday we encouraged them to cook and clean etc (not out of laziness but for their own preparation to look after themelves). They can all cook (meaning heat up) food. But they cannot do the simplest of tasks without contantly asking how/where/when. Perhaps it is a boy thing they don't seem to be able to work things out or read instructions they have to be told step by step what to do.

I have always seen my boys as bright capable lads, now I see boys who have been molly coddled by their mother for far too long. Where I tried not to nag them too much, they don't seem able to think for themselves. Now I am worried that I have created mummies boys who might not manage without their mother telling them what to do every step of the way. I am not saying that I always do everything for them (I definitely don't) but I have always been there telling them what to do. If not in person then on the phone.

I don't know all the answers I don't always know what they need to do especially now that they are entering worlds that I have never been a part of. The rest of this year is going to be hard for them and for me, while they settle into their new lives and JA and I are left at home wondering why it is so quiet, worrying about our boys. I know they will each manage (they won't have a choice in that). Having two boys leaving the nest within a week of each other will be hard on us. Then if ET gets through his course (I have every confidence he will) then it won't be long before he joins the RAF properly and he will be gone too.

I love all my boys without exception, I couldn't possibly choose a favourite as they are all so different (my favourite is usually the one I am with at the time). I would never want to have not had any of them but I am not sure if I would ever want to go through motherhood again. When we are young we are warned that parenthood is not easy, there are no hard and fast rules but you never really understand just how hard it is being a mother until you have been through all the stages of your child's growing up (and I have been lucky to have an easy time of all my son's teen years).

Togetherness

Saturday afternoon and everyone was at home. None of us had any plans to go out. Bolonese was simmering one of the working hot plates. I am trying to be more active by going for walks, and of course taking my camera phone with me. I need to get some photos of all my boys together, a rare occurrence these days. I don't like posed photos so what better than a family outing.

Duck watching

Waiting for mum to cross the stepping stones

Watching

Tranquil

Looking Forward

I have not been feeling like blogging much in the last couple of weeks. I have had things to say but neither the inclination or energy to write anything. I am afraid I have not been reading other blogs much either and those I have read I haven't been commenting much so I apologise for my bad behaviour.

But I thought I would let you all know I am still here, my world is not totally centered around my health.

Tomorrow night I have an excuse to get all dressed up as I am going to a Rotary Dinner (that will be interesting my first meal out since this started).

Sunday evening I am meeting up with Golf.
Thursday evening I am seeing Echo
Both Plumber and Forest are around but nothing has been arranged with either of them although Forest does seem to be very keen to see me again when I am ready.

OJ has now finished his A'levels and thinks he has the whole summer to laze around before he goes off to Uni in early Oct. (His mother has other ideas).

DC is finally selling his car on Saturday!! He is furiously making arrangements for his month long trip to USA (3 of them are driving from west coast to East). Before he goes off to Uni late September.

ET is still trying to build his muscles and get fitter for his big adventure with the RAF (we still don't know when).

JA is just being a typical 13 yr old but has come into his own in the school cricket team (5 wickets and 54 runs not out yesterday). We are trying to prepare ourselves for the mass evacuation leaving the two of us alone together.

He made it after all

After a week of trying to build my boy up. Increasing his food intake (lots of bacon and eggs etc as well as sponge/suet puddings). I even trawled the supermarkets and local chemist for protein shakes. I don't know if he has gained any weight yet. He has been doing lots of muscle building excercises but no running.

Yesterday he got a phone call from the AFCO (Armed Forces Careers Office) telling him that the Doctor who he had seen hadn't realised he is under 18. The minimum weight is less for under 18s so he has passed his medical after all.

He is now waiting for a letter giving him the details of his 3 day pre joining training course which all prospective Gunners have to go through.

He is a smiley boy again unlike JA and OJ who are sad that this means I won't be forking out to buy extra food!

Urgent help needed

My boy went for his medical today for the RAF and didn't pass. There is nothing mentally or physically wrong with him. He has never had any major illnesses. He has never had asthma or fits or any such thing. He has never broken a bone indeed he has never had to go into hospital for any reason. I don't remember the last time I had to take him to visit the family Doctor.

So why did he not pass?

Because he doesn't weigh enough!!
He has to put on 1.5kg before he can be accepted.

How does a naturally fit but skinny boy (who eats all the wrong foods) put on weight quickly?

Proud Mother

ET had his interview to join RAF today

He passed!!

good start

I checked online
found the right one
expanded the map
finished dressing
got into my car and drove to The City
luckily being the start of the school holidays
traffic was light
a journey that
I expect to take 25 to 30 minutes
took less than 20
A short walk
ringing the doorbell
being shown into a small room
with a table and 3 chairs
I sat mostly in silence
while the man talked
there are new forms to complete
appointments to follow in due course
tests to be done
hopefully everything
will be found to be in good order
This child of mine will be accepted
By the RAF

Community Project

I am at home today having a much needed rest. My car is with my friendly local mechanic, currently costing me more money than I have in the bank until payday next week. It failed its MOT !! needing two new tyres(they looked good to me when I checked earlier in the week) plus something about front brakes needing to be released. The brakes work just fine but he won't know until hes had a look what the problem is so current running total nearing £160+.



So while I am at home without my car I have been busy on the phone.



Last night ET arrived home after visiting ..................... 'a girl' after his college day finished. It was quite late I was in bed by the time he came in. He has been requested by the leaders and other members of his course to make use of my contacts. Next week they are doing a Community Project. They will be working on the garden of a Community Centre, half of them gardening the others painting the fences. I have managed to get some paint brushes donated and have made enquiries using my contacts from work to get them some paint. I am currently working on finding someone to donate some garden hand tools ie trowels.



As I said to ET several weeks ago ............it isn't always what you know but who you know. He didn't believe me but maybe now he will.












Oh and going against the rules of dating, with the encouragement of a man (some of you know this blogger) I have asked Kama out on a date, all we need to do now is find the time to fit it in.