Surprising friends

In the last few days I have gained three new friends on Facebook. All three men are real friends in one way or another.

First, I had a surprise friends request from Mr Green. Mr Green has not been mentioned on my blog for a long time. I have not seen him for ages but he is the friend who gave me advice when I had my interview for the job I have now. We are friends who keep in contact erratically. We go out for a drink and a chat infrequently. I wrote a fantasy for him the summer before last.



He has since emailed me to say he doesn't know why he joined Facebook as he prefers normal emails. I really must reply to him before I forget.



Secondly, after an unexpected exchange of text messages this morning I happened to go onto my facebook and found a friend request from Karma. I was very surprised about this for two reasons. I didn't think he would join Facebook especially as he doesn't even use an instant messenger. Again he prefers good old email. The other reason I was surprised was that I am never really sure where I fit into his life. we are friends but I don't know if he wants more , or even if there are other women in his life. I notice that I am one of just four friends the others being his son and daughter and another male. So I am honoured that he has chosen to ask me to be his facebook friend.



Thirdly, Paulo. This was rather odd, he flashed up on my screen as a possible friend. He has an unusual name so I didn't think there would be many others with his name. It also showed that we had a mutual friend (Having my Cake). I text him asking if he had a friend with this name. He replied that he did, I told him she is a friend of mine.



'Is she as sexy as you?'



'Don't you know?'



'I don't have a clue, I saw her ass and added her for fun x'



'We have been online friends for a couple of years and yes she is a yummy mummy'



So I think now I shall have to be very careful what I write on my facebook

I can't help it

You all know how much I have been having fun dating lots of different guys in the last few months.



There has been Karma who is still in the background but not coming forward. I still like him but don't think it will come to anything.



There has been Plumber who I have seen a lot of, we have been out for drinks, meals walks around a rainy Chichester, star gazing from hill tops late at night, boat spotting by starlight, we have even spent a few nights together as well as a night at the cinema. Although he tells me that he has growing feelings for me and he has been good for me, I don't predict this will be a long term relationship.



There has been Golf who I have only met once but still chat to regularly, he is not the most fanciable of men but he gets my adrenalin running (and more).



There is Forest who I spent an enjoyable evening with after not seeing him since Aug 07 when we had our bust up because I wanted to stop playing the field and become a one man woman. He didn't want to be that one man. I am fully aware that it is a sexual relationship nothing more but it was still good and at least now I know that I am completely over him on an emotional level. We can be friends with benefits for as long as it suits us both.



There has been Thomas my delightfully sexy, knight. We hadn't thought we would ever see each other again as it had been more than 2 years but our lust for each other has never diminished so when the chance to spend an hour together came up how could we not take it with both hands.



Now there are other potential men on my menu to be tried to see if they suit my palate.



But when it all comes down to where my heart lies I can't deny it I am still in love. I bet you thought you would never see me saying it again but there is one man who won't leave my heart. I might not mention him very much. I might not be agonising over his loss. I might not be distraught at his absence. But that doesn't mean that I don't think about him all the time. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him. Maybe he is the reason I am finding it difficult to find someone who lives up to him.



One of the oddest things is that whenever I am chatting to or thinking about Golf in my mindseye it isn't Golf I am picturing but my beloved Romeo.

Every single day I consider sending him a text or an email. I spend a fair amount of time thinking about what I want to say to him.



You see I have learnt that yes I can live without him in my life. I can have a good life without him. I can be happy without him but I still love him and given the chance I would go to him at the drop of a hat. This is perhaps part of the reason there has been little progress with Karma. Karma has been hurt several times, he is afraid of being hurt again, I am afraid of hurting him. I am afraid of getting involved with him incase Romeo turns up again. I know that given the choice I would pick Romeo over any other man. I wouldn't want to have it on my conscience that I had been the one to hurt Karma again.



I have not heard from Romeo since December ( a week before Karma came on the scene) but that doesn't stop me wanting him.

stood up!!

It was still early evening when he messaged me, but I ignored it for a few minutes, he has picked up that annoying msn virus that keeps sending out messages inviting you to click the link to see sexy pictures or join a great new site. I've told him and Neptune who has the same problem to uninstall msm messenger then install it again neither of them have managed to get rid of it. But luckily I opened the window to make sure instead of just closing it down without checking first as I often do.

We chatted for a while before he asked what I was doing tonight. Deja vue, he was the second man to ask me that within a few hours. I was due to help Harvey with his paperwork problem for an hour or so mid evening. I forget how the conversation went now but it reached a point where I challenged him. Like me he is a night owl, it is not unusual for us to be chatting until 2am so I told him to pick me up at around 11ish and we could go for a coffee and a chat I might even be generous enough to kiss him again. He said that unless he had drunk too much to drive he would pick me up but I must text him to check.

So at around 10.30 I text him just before I jumped into the shower. I had just finished getting dried and dressed when I got a text, but it wasn't from him it was from Karma. A joke which suprised me as it was late for him to be texting (he isn't a night owl). We exchanged a couple more text (he said he had been to twickenham and was shattered.) That was a pity because I was beginning to think I had been stood up, I know he is well known for always being late but it was 11.40 by now and no word. I mentioned to karma that perhas we could have had a coffee as it looks like I have been stood up.

Nothing!!

so that was nothing from either of them.

Even Plumber was giving me the silent treatment after asking me if I had been out...........no I had been busy on another computer thats not online. He then asked me about the music I was listening to then nothing more. Perhaps he doesn't like Lemar.

Its my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

Ok so today is my birthday and so far it is not much of a birthday.

Plumber took me out for the day yesterday which I shall tell you about later. It did rained all day!!

Today I have been given a box of quality street and a cup of Lady Grey tea from DC before I gave him a lift to work (his car has been off the road for about 3 weeks).

I have had a few texts from The Married Man .......nothing exciting just asking what I was doing today and wishing me a happy birthday.

I had happy birthday texts from Dark Side and also #3s ET (I guess thats as good as it gets with 17yr olds)

JA called out happy birthday as he passed my door.

The card that came through the post wasn't a birthday card it was an easter card for the boys from their paternal grandmother.

I did get something in the post though, a skirt I had won on ebay.

Also in the post was a letter from my motor insurance company saying that I hadn't returned the direct debit form they had sent me. If they don't hear from me by 17th April my policy will be cancelled and I will incur cancellation charges. (My policy runs out 3rd May). I checked through my bank statement online and to my horror no payment had gone out in the last 30 days for my car insurance. I rang them up and it now seems that I have not made a payment since september 2008. I have not cancelled the payments and as it is one of my smaller payments I have not been checking it every month as I had no reason to think it wasn't going out as it should. It was certainly being paid the last few times I checked but obviously that was longer ago than I realised. My monthly installments are only £26 but with 7 months to pay it soon mounts up and has come as something of a shock. We checked that my account details are exactly the same as they have on the system. He checked to see if any letters had been generated but none had. My insurance has been allowed to keep going until now!! It is all very strange.

The young man set up this month's payment to go through with the remainder being 27th April as my policy is due to finish so soon. I told him that I don't have that kind of money in my account on 27th as I get paid on 30th April. He tried to set it so that the payment would come out on 30th but it wouldn't allow him to do that. His line manager also tried to move the date but was not able to. I was told that I shouldn't worry as when the payment fails I should ring up again on 30th to reset the payment. I don't want to do this as it means I would incur bank charges. His next suggestion was to not make a payment now or 27th but make payment over phone on 30th. This sounds better but of course there is a catch. The letter says if they do not hear from me by 17th April my policy will be cancelled. Now it is my intention not to renew with them anyway but I don't want to tell them that now, neither do I want my policy to be cancelled early.

It looks as though the rest of my birthday consists of shopping, cleaning etc then dinner with my mum followed by an early night. Tomorrow I am taking my mum to visit my 90yr old grandmother in Cotswolds returning on Monday. I had hoped that my birthday might be a little more exciting than this. But Plumber is working, Golf tells me he will see me after the weekend and I have not heard from Karma since Thursday.

Even the sun is hiding!!

Dangerous suprise

On saturday I had a chat with aunty (first time for months) I didn't really have any pressing issues I just fancied a chat. She wanted to talk about the men in my life. I told her Golf and Plumber's names but she asked for the other one. I told her Karma's name and the name I use for him but she only wanted to use his proper name. She went through each one of them telling me how each of them feel about me, how I feel about them, the respect they have for me and vice versa. How romantic each of them are etc. She told me that not one of them is romantic although each of them can do their bit. All three of them like me enormously and have great respect for me. She said that Plumber is the softest one of them but he doesn't blow my mind. She was right in everything she said but I did tell her I was suprised about what she told me about Karma as I believe he has lost interest. She was having none of it, saying he has not lost interest he has just been preoccupied.



To my suprise on Sunday I got a long text from Karma, on Monday there were more text and when I got home from a night out with Plumber there was an email apologising for being busy. There have been more texts since.



This afternoon out of the blue I got a text from a number not stored on my mobile. It was from the man who had inspired me to write this little fantasy. He was telling me that he was in our place. I replied that I was at work, he let me know that he had been passing and was hoping we could catch up with each other.



Tonight I was suprised when I signed onto msn, immediately I was greeted by a friend I have not chatted to for weeks. Nothing unusual about this as we often go weeks or even months between catching up. But tonight was different, very different, tonight verged on dangerous territory. No I got that wrong it didn't verge on dangerous territory it slammed into it. Within minutes we were discussing whether I wanted to see him. I was frantically avoiding answering all his suggestions and propositions. He knows how to make me melt, he knows I find him incredibly sexy. He knows how to play me, he was doing his best to tempt me. I was doing my best to put him off. He didn't want to be put off. He tells me that his blue eyes are still sexy.



He knows I can't resist his charms. I know I can't resist. I have been dreading this conversation for 18 months. I knew eventually we would have this conversation. I knew all along that I would want to go to him, I would want to feel his touch, gaze into those blue eyes. But I also know that it is dangerous for me. I jokingly accused him of being in need of a leg over wrapping it up in prety ribbons. But he assures me that he is not in need of a leg over but he says I am a very sexy and enjoyable lady.



I have managed to avoid agreeing to anything so far but I don't know how I will fare next time we chat. Now that the conversation has happened I know it will again.