Sunday morning stroll

He was staying in the area on saturday night so we met up on sunday morning. He had only said that he would be in 'The Other City' but not where so I chose the woodland park where we would meet and sent him the post code and directions. He text me that he would be there in 10 minutes. That surprised me as it would take me nearer 15 to get there, I was even more surprised when he still hadn't arrived after 10 minutes of waiting. A quick phone call revealed that he was parked in the wrong place further down the road.

I walked to the car park entrance to meet him, I had only been stood there about a minute when I saw his car pull up. We walked hand in hand through the wrought iron, leaf shaped gate, I had not seen that before. There were numerous other walkers mostly with dogs on leads, soon to be released to run around investigating all the smells of various animals and birds that live here.

It turned out that the friend he had visited lived not far from where we were. It was very peaceful in the park this early in the morning. Families with children enjoying the freedom had not yet arrived. We avoided the paths that led down to the ornamental ponds with their fish and ducks all clamouring to be fed. Instead we took one of the paths that eventually wind around the wooded area to emerge with a view of the busy river estuary. It was very quiet, the only sounds other than our own chatter, the rustling of birds in the undergrowth, the occasional crashing of a dog through the bushes off the beaten path as the owner attempts to call them back to the path.

We found a quiet secluded corner where we stopped for a while to kiss, but I couldn't stand like this for too long, the ground beneath my sandals soft after the recent rain. The big difference in height didn't help either but leaning against his strong body did help to steady my balance. We made our way back to our cars where we said goodbye until another day. I drove off first but by the time I reached the junction with the main road he was behind me. We travelled in convoy until he turned off to join the motorway. When I got home only JA had emerged from his bed so the house was still quiet. None of them realised I had even been out.

I have no idea when or even if I will meet up with Wednesday again but we have continued texting. He has been a big support for me with my diabetes as he has had it for 8 years.

Wednesday Echo

I had a surprise text on Tuesday asking me to meet for a quick drink. Wednesday would be passing my town on his way home from a day working in Bournemouth. Just as I was parking outside the restaurant/bar I got a text asking what I wanted to drink. I walked into the bar whilst he was ordering my drink. Both of us being diabetic and driving we both had large glasses of diet pepsi. I had known even before I arrived that Wednesday wouldn't be able to stay long but we had formed a kind long distance bond over the weeks that we have been chatting. He looks exactly like his picture on MSN although I hadn't expected him to be so tall (almost 6'3"). I didn't notice his strong accent so much in person as I do on the phone. Talking with him was so easy (ok I admit it I just love talking). He told me that I am exactly how he had expected, very down to earth, (well lets face it, at 5'0" I am never very far from the earth.)



He had intended to only stay for half an hour but after an hour of chatting he really did have to leave. Walking out to the car park together we stood beside my car talking (there may have been some kissing too but I can't really remember). After a while I agreed to sit in his car which was in a more secluded part of the car park. There was definitley some kissing now. By the time I left him, insisting that he really should go now, it was an hour and a half after the time he should have left.



I was rather stupid on Thursday. Knowing that I had an exciting few hours ahead of me at the end of my working day I prepared myself by buying a wholemeal sandwich to keep me going until I had my evening meal. (very sensible as I now have to eat regularly). However I was so involved in my work that when I was rushing out of the door it occurred to me that I had actually forgotten to eat my lunch!! let alone my sandwich.



I should have left the office at 4.30 so that I could arrive as soon as possible after 4.45pm. I didn't leave until 4.40 so when I got stuck in traffic (some inconsiderate person had allowed a building at the end of a row of shops to catch fire). There were people milling around and police had blocked off the road outside the shop, I wasn't going that way but vehicles ahead of me had stopped to look!!!



By the time I reached the city I took first one then a second wrong turn in what was now becoming heavy rush hour traffic, with traffic lights on each turning of the busy main road. Finally I arrived at the hotel very hot and very bothered. Echo greeted me with a kiss, poor man must have thought I wasn't coming, he had text and called me, I hadn't answered either and he had been sat in his car in the glaring sun for half an hour waiting patiently.



We had a lovely time kissing and cuddling and getting to know each other better. He is a very gentle man and extremely sweet, it is just a pity that his work commitments mean that the only time we can get together are usually Thursdays but he has to pick up his teenage daughter from her maths tutor mid evening, he has a long drive to get there. I decided to stay in the room after he left. By this time I was beginning to feel ill, I ate my sandwich and made myself some hot tea, ate the battered looking mars bar that I have been carring around for emergencies. Watched a bit of tv and lay on the bed. I must have just drifted off after a brief conversation with Wednesday when I was rudely woken by an alarm going off. I was so disorientated I didn't know if it was a fire alarm or some other alarm. I was running around the room not knowing what to do. I calmed myself down as I couldn't hear other people vacating their rooms. The alarm had stopped and I sat on the bed again and watched a bit more tv until I felt I would be ok to drive home.



Can you believe that on Friday I almost forgot to eat my lunch again!! It was about 2.30 when I realised. I usually have my lunch around 1.30pm

I don't want to go

Tonight Plumber's band are doing a gig at the same place where I saw them last month. He has invited me to go along. He can give me a lift even though he is already taking others. When he asked me last week I said I wasn't sure. This week we hadn't talked much until he phoned me last night from the pub. He was with his Aussie friend who arrived on Thursday, one of his old bands was playing. Apparently there were a lot of old friends there from other bands which he had been part of at some point or another. He reminded me about the gig tonight I said I wont go.

This morning he woke me up with a text telling me he was online. We chatted for a while before he went into town. He again invited me to the gig tonight but I said no. He wanted to know why.
so I told him that I don't want to pretend to be 'an aquaintance'.

He is happy to be seen with me but won't tell anyone who I am. I am sorry but if he can't acknowledge who I am then I don't want to be out with him. If he wants to keep me a secret then don't take me to places where his friends are.

Once his mate leaves on Monday we are supposed to be seeing a lot of each other in the next two weeks. I think this will be make or break time. He will have to come clean about what is going on.

Anyway this week I have begun chatting to some other guys (2 of them who I have chatted to on the phone in my lunch breaks have the same name as Plumber). Whatch this space for more news about Wednesday, Max friday, Captain, The Doc, Echo and last but not least Embassy

wednesday

wednesday was both good and bad

it started off with forest chatting asking if I ever sleep. we chatted for a bit then the conversation changed and I told him that had we been in the same room on tues evening I would have slapped him. the gloves came off then and we both said things that made me realise that he will never win any prizes for being tactful. the more he tried to explain himself the worse it got. I didn't pull any punches either. I made it quite clear how he had made me feel. This time if we had been in the same room it would not have been a slap in the face but a well placed knee. I was ok but pissed off. It seems that I am worth more than NSA and should just go out and find what I am looking for. but in the next breath grrrrr no I can't bring myself to relay what he said. I don't think he even realised what he was implying.

anyway off to work. It was quite quiet for a change and it soon became apparent that I would not only clear my workload but with plenty of time to spare. I decided it would be a good time to take the extra hour they owed me for staying an extra hour the week before last. Apart from anything else I was finding that I kept welling up with tears. It seems that no matter how much I told myself that Forest and what he said didn't matter, it did. I found myself thinking about how I go from one extreme to the other and don't know how to find the middle ground. Forest and Neptune are prime examples of the extremes. with forest I wore my heart on my sleeve. I let my heart rule my head. With Neptune I put up barriers, I tried to play it cool, perhaps so cool that I could appear to be cold and uninterested. I was feling miserable by the time I got home.

I came online sure there would be a message from Neptune, he had been sending me replies at around 9am shortly after I leave home for work. there was a message and as I began to reply, JJ began to chat. I am afraid that I was being a wet blanket but he soon had me giggling. we talked about Neptune who he thinks is odd. I thought that about forest (as did most of you) so that doesn't help much. he asked if we have met yet. I told him I don't even know if Neptune is even really interested, perhaps he only replies to my emails to be polite. He persuaded me to ask Neptune if he wants to meet as he had mentioned it once weeks ago but I hadn't replied, (I was trying not to be too eager.) so having already asked him the question about karaoke I sent another email asking if he still wanted to meet. I know he has read these emails over 12 hours ago. I know he was online before I went to bed last night. it is now 8.38am and still no reply. so I guess thats a no.

I went off to my writing class feeling in good spirits. I asked my tutor June if she thought I should take my stories to Rosie's wine bar as dj keeps telling me. But she has never heard of it. I told her of the magazines that dj thinks I should send my stories to. She agreed, but she also told me off. I am too quiet and she is going to start picking on me more to read my work out to the class. I explained about being shy but no she wants me to read my work out and says it will get easier. I nearly forgot one of my friends who had been quiet for weeks text me several times last night just before my class. I have promised to catch up later.

Oh and I have agreed to be a guinea pig for a certain blogger with her new online service. As of today I have to write down what I eat in the special diary she has forwarded. so far today one cup of tea and a bowl of cornflakes with semi skimmed milk.

Now I have to scoot or I will be late for work. Maybe when I get home I will find a reply from Neptune.