catch up

Its been a while so here's a few things to catch up

My baby boy JA (he's now about 6" taller than me) has just two years left at school, when he goes back in September the hard work gets harder as he begins preparing for his GCSE's in 2012. At the start of the month he had a 5 day sailing course which much to my relief he loved.

ET how is it possible he is officially a man now at 18 but he will always be my timid little boy scared of everything. He is working part time at M & S for the summer then in September he is going back to college (I hope he sticks it out for longer than a term this time).

OJ is quite the independent young man at 19 son to be 20 he is doing well at Uni and is currently in Thailand with some of his Uni friends for 5 weeks. When he gets back here he will be moving into a house that he will be sharing with the same friends he is with now.

DC I don't see or hear much from him these days he is busy living his own life. He has also finished his first year at Ui and has already moved into a house with friends. He is also working through the summer (at last).

Mum is slowly recovering from her last knee op, she can now walk short distances without her stick, but she does suffer when she has done too much walking about. She drives short distances ie around out town and maybe to the adjoining town. But no further, her driving worries me and I always insist on driving whenever we go anywhere together. Last weekend I took her for an overnight visit to my grandmother in the Cotswolds.

Grandmother is now 91 and thankfully stopped driving last year. She still lives alone and seems to manage but her memory is not great. She talks a lot about her father and her sister. But also her little boy and her daughter. She asked me if I ever met her little boy (he was my dad). She cried when we were leaving ..........she doesn't think she will see me again.

SF is not my favourite person right now. In the last 3 months he has paid me only £50 towards the upkeep of our children. He is meant to give me £100 per month so he is £250 short. He says he has no money and anyway I earn more than him and have a laptop and run a car. I was thinking about going back to the CSA to get money from him when I received a letter from them advising of a new calculation of what he should be paying. I have called them asking that they collect the money from him. It would mean that he can't miss payments plus I would get more, not a lot but it all helps.

Sailor He is getting used to living on his own, spends a lot of time with his daughters and grandson. We see each other when we can, last weekend we went out sailing (with Plumber) it was the first time I had been out on the open sea.

Plumber........what can I say except that he loves me, he wishes I was his wife.

My garden is about to get a make over, very soon, a gardener is going to dig up just over half of my garden and paving it for me. A week later a contractor from my housing association are finally replacing my fence. (It has only taken since November).

Day time tv

The last week has meant a lot of sleeping. I don't think I have slept this much for years. The last time I felt this ill was whan I had a virus and my Dr thought my cancer had returned.

There has been a lot of tv watching. I have watched a lot of house programs either finding or doing up. I have wat
ched a few CSI programs. There have been old episodes of Top Gear. I have even stooped to watching Jeremy Kyle. There have been panel games and quiz shows.

There have been a fair few chats with a few men I have begun chatting to recently but being ill I have not really been that bothered about chatting a lot. My attention has been limited and have often just trialed off either forgetting they were still there or telling them I need to sleep.

But there has been one man I have chatted to most days on and off. He is having problems with his internet at the moment but BT have promised to have him back online by Tues. Feeling a touch of cabin fever after a week in my sick bed I agreed to go out for a drink with him. He really is a lovely man and fairly local too. I will definately be seeing more of him. (Actually this was not our first date as I met him before I became ill).
For much of the week food has been a big issue. I knew I had to eat to get stronger but eating anything was such a struggle. Hot food was out of the question as it made me gag, even the smell of food being cooked by/for my boys made me feel queasy. Eating anything was a chore, it was taking 5 minutes to eat a biscuit. But little by little I have got there, against his instincts Plumber brought me ice cream, cartons of custard and packets of instant dessert. I needed food that I could swallow without having to chew it. Apart from my boys Plumber was the only person I saw all week. He came round twice in one day although most days he said he would call in. He is an has been very goo for me but I still can't rely on him.

On Friday DC came home for a while and between us we made up a shopping list which he and OJ went off and bought returning 2 hours later......they seem to have bought everything I asked for. There have now been 3 occasions when all 4 of my boys have been in the house at the same time which has been nice. DC has even got himself a part time job (not before time) starting next weekend. OJ has been tutoring a friend's brother in A level maths every day this week for £10 hr. ET has got himself an interview to go back to college in Sept.

Things are beginning to look up.

All change

I had a visit yesterday lunch time from Plumber. I can't remember the last time I saw him (I would have to check back on here to find out). In the mean time he has been in Spain twice (hes been back a week since his last trip) so he is looking rather tanned. He also looked rather shocked but pleased when he saw me.

Did I mention that I had my hair cut two weeks ago and after wearing it in a bob for a few years then letting it grow quite long I have gone back to wearing it short. Very few people (family aside) who I see frequently these days have seen me with short hair before. Somewhere further down my sidebar there is a photo of the new me taken by LV the day after it was cut. (we had been out for lunch in the New Forest). Apparently the new style makes me look younger. One of my friends from my pre marriage life commented on my new picture on face book that I look no different than I did more than 2 years ago............well she can't see the grey hair and wrinkles in that small picture.

My relationship with Plumber has changed in recent months. When it started we agreed to having a casual relationship ........we were not committed to each other and could see others. All very well but he was very jealous if he thought I was seeing anyone else not that I ever talked about it. I knew he really likes me but wasn't prepared to give me any kind of commitment so I felt justified in seeing others without making a thing of it. He used to tell me that he had growing feelings for me.............but that was as far as it goes. Our friendship has grown and I know that I only have to ask and he will do anything for me (if he has time). I know he would be happy to continue to see me on a casual basis although not very often these days, but I ahve made it clear to him that I am nolonger happy with a casual relationship. For me it has to be a committed relationship so I am now looking for a long term relationship again not casual. (although I am not really looking very hard at the moment but just enjoying life as it is).

Life at the moment involves being more into family life. With the two older boys gone (although not for long enough for us to get used to it) the three of us who are left have been spending more time together actually sitting in our livingroom for hours at a time instead of all being in different rooms. This week ET suddenly got in the mood to tidy their bedroom (I had been saying that it was such a mess with clothes all over the floor that I wouldn't go in there). This led to more change. JA has moved into the box room (formerly DC's room). Tv, stereo, and other such things have been moved around and both boys are now quite happy to have a room of their own. With a dozen bin liners lined up in the livingroom full of rubbish/old clothes, this led to a trip to the amenity tip yesterday.

On Thursday evening ET was complaining that the light in his room isn't very bright. (with bunkbeds and a cabin bed in the one room it is a very dark room). He has the brightest (energy saving) light bulb I had, I figured that having an uplighter shade probably doesn't help. The light shade in JA' new room is all bent and scorched so I took the shade from ET's room and put it on JA's room. Now I need to get a new shade for ET , I found that the light fitting is so old that the part the bulb goes into is very brittle and burnt as I was screwing it back on bits were breaking off. After putting JA's shade up I discovered that I couldn't replace the bulb as the metal housing for the bayonet was broken on one side. OK no problem I would get new fittings for both at the weekend.

This is where it is useful to have a Plumber for a friend. Late on Friday night/early saturday morning he came online after a gig. We chatted and I mentioned the light fittings.............in a flash he offered to come over and do them for me and supply the fittings too. (sorry couldn't help myself). Hence he came to see me on a Saturday lunchtime. (he also had a long chat with ET about RAF and Forces life in general ............he was a weapons engineer in Army before becoming a PT instructor).

Finally Student Finance have got their act together. Having applied online for student grants back in April, sending off my documents in May, (receiving them back in July) now in October I received two 'Urgent' emails telling me that I need to send more documents, only they didn't say what. It took several phone calls to find out that they wanted my P60 for 2007/8 but I had sent my P60 for 2008/9. ................It is beyond me why they couldn't have said this on the comp slip that accompanied my documents when they were returned. Why did it take from May until October to tell me they needed a different P60 and even then only after several phone calls from me. DC posted the correct P60 on Monday 12th October on Friday 16th I had two letters addressed to the boys for them to sign and return so that the monay they are getting can be paid. I now have to post OJ's to him so he can sign it and post it again before the threatened postal strike on Thursday/friday. I saw DC for half an hour yesterday so he has done his. I only hope that next year it is all done much quicker.

Who ate all the cheese?

Well it has now been a couple of weeks since our family dynamic changed. Just when the three of us who have been left behind, were beginning to get used to only being three. They returned.

They didn't take turns at coming home ..............no they arrived within minutes of each other. OJ arrived loaded with back pack, wheeled trolley bag and laptop. I barely had time to say hello before I collected DC from the station carrying his one small back pack. I had expected DC to bring home his washing but he didn't. OJ on the other hand brought home not only his laundry to be washed but also some of his crockery to go in the dishwasher. Only my son would do that!!

During the time they have been away we were just starting to get used to having food in the fridge for more than two days. (I'm not saying that either of them eat a lot). The milk lasted all week, we lasted until Thursday before I had to buy more bread. At the time when my sons arrived home we still had more than one carton of orange juice left and 1/3 of the block of cheese that had lasted 2 weeks. The following morning all the juice had gone, only a very small slice of cheese and a small amount of milk remained.

Nobody is owning up but I have my suspicions who ate the cheese.

It was good to see them both and hear how they are getting on in their new lives. It seems that they chat to each other online quite a bit. In fact I only knew that DC was coming home because he told OJ who then told JA (also online).

Moving on

It feels as though the whole of the last 14 years have been leading up to this weekend. Since he started school OJ has been destined to go to Uni. DC was not such a certainty but with OJ there was never any question of whether he would go. It was just a question of which one. The last year especially the last 6 months have been getting ready for him going to Uni.



Yesterday was the day, he had booked his moving in slot 1.30 to 3.30pm. we set off at about 11.20am to give us plenty of time. Stopping off at asda near to where I work to pick up a couple of last minute items including some lunch and fill up with petrol. It was just when we were leaving there that OJ realised he had left his phone behind so we went back to get it. (If we had got any further I wouldn't have bothered).



The drive there was fairly uneventful after that.We collected the key and set off to find a place to park near to his residential halls. I didn't think much of it as I was driving up the narrow winding road parking in the warden's spot. No lift at these halls unlike where DC is, luckily it was only one flight of stairs to his room. We unpacked his things before moving my car back to the main car park. It was only when I went to move my car that the realisation hit me that I had to reverse all the way back down this narrow winding road with low walls on either side. Not only that but first I had to negotiate around the estate car that was now parked in the nearest spot to mine at an awkward angle (on a slope that was both vertical and horizontal.........not easy). It must have been painful for any men watching to see my slow progress. I had almost reached the end of the road when the vehicle parked on the side was one obstacle too much for me. I managed to find the only space to turn around using the good old 3 point turn that I have not used for many years.



Having parked in the main car park we walked to the nearby Tesco store which took us about 20 minutes (it will only take him 10 when I''m not with him). I expect my boy will be fine but I do worry about him more than DC. OJ has shared a room with his brothers all his life, now he is on his own, he has more space than ever before. He will find it very quiet (apart from the bell of the nearby cathederal). Today two of his friends from home were moving into nearby halls, so he won't be totally alone.



The view from OJ's new home

Family steps

It has been a tiring week, a good one but tiring all the same.

Work has continued to be good, I am enjoying my work again just as I used to do.

Preparations for the exodus have been stepped up a gear. (Nagging increased too). DC was quite happy with his idea that he would just load everything into my car as it was, no boxes or bags required!!!!! I had brought some boxes home from work for him to use. I told him that my job was to ensure he had the essentials and be his driver on the day but packing was down to him.

Thursday evening I took him to visit my mum so that he could tell her a bit about his american trip before we went shopping. She presented him with a cheque to keep him going for the first few weeks (student finance is still pending). He insisted that our trip to Asda would be quick as he wanted to visit Charlie. We didn't leave there until 10.15pm and over £100 later with a trolley laden with "essentials" and even some food (cereal, pasta, long life milk etc). He didn't get to see Charlie that night.

On Friday I decided that as two of my boys are over the legal age to drink and I have never bought either of them a drink we would all go out for a drink when I finished work. We drove up onto the hill so that they could see the view over the city as they drank. Would you believe it .....everyone of them had Appletiser!! .....well that was a cheap round for mum. It was interesting though to hear DC and ET giving OJ advice about beer and alcho pop drinks. DC is concerned that OJ will be a wet rag during his Freshers week. Neither of us want him to sit alone in his room while the other students are out enjoying themselves. Later at home DC gave OJ a bottle of beer to try, he wasn't impressed with the taste but did a very good impression of a drunk leaning against the wall. I was struck by how accurate his impression was of how his dad used to be. I had completely forgotten what the staggering had been like. Obviously OJ hadn't forgotten, I was very shocked by this act.

DC and I had agreed that we would leave early on Saturday morning as he didn't have a specific time slot for moving in (unlike OJ), especially as Southampton FC which is just a stones throw from his Halls of residence, were playing at home. However he didn't appear until about 10am and still needed to pack my car. He thought we would need to make two trips but I managed to get it all in. The forecast had been for showers but it was hot and sunny (27 according to my car at one point and 24 for much of the time). Finally he was in his new home with his belongings and I left him at 1.45pm. (during the afternoon I got a series of texts telling me the things he had forgotten but wanted). So that is one son stepping out on his own to begin the next stage in his life. Next week we repeat the process with OJ.

Last weekend ET discovered a function on his mobile phone that allows him to turn his wallpaper into a pedometre. We both have Sony Ericsson phones so he has changed mine too. Each day we have had to compare how many steps each of us has taken during the day. (not so easy for me as most of my clothes are pocket less.) There have been many times I have left my phone on my desk/bed forgetting to carry it with me. Anyway I have made a concerted effort to make sure that each day I reach or exceed the final total of the previous day. Having a job that is desk based doesn't lend itself to a particularly active life. But my determination not to have a bad day has encouraged me to walk more than I would otherwise do (no bad thing). After yesterday with trips to and from my car, a tour of Halls, a trip into town centre with OJ to choose his first pair of glasses, followed by a wander round Asda kept my total for yesterday quite healthy. So today I was trying to figure out how I was going to keep up my record. It occurred to me that I could go for a walk somewhere, but where?

I decided to take the boys on a mystery tour, they wanted to watch the football on tv but came anyway. It was the first time I had been to Winchester Hill in daylight (each time Plumber has taken me there it has been dark). It had been overcast all day but I was convinced it would still be relatively warm. I hadn't banked on the drizzle we were greeted with. Even with the low grey cloud and drizzle we could still see a very long way into the distance towards Southampton. We walked to the iron age fort and back, a good hour plus which gave me not only a healthy total on my pedometre but also a healthy red glow too. I was shattered by the time we arrived back home to the aroma of casserole and baked potatoes almost ready.

During this coming week more steps will be taken by this family, both on our pedometres and as my boys move nearer to their future lives. This time next week OJ will be in his new home and ET will be about to set out on his next adventure.

Time flying by

It only seems like 5 minutes since I was trooping around checking out Universities with OJ.



Now all of a sudden it is almost time for him to go.


In 12 days DC moves into halls at Southampton (he will have been home from his trip for just one week). 7 days later OJ will be moving into halls at Guildford (he has booked his moving in slot 13.30 - 15.30)

This evening we have had a taste of what life will be like. DC is still away, OJ has gone out with friends and ET has been out since lunch time with his new g/f. All evening JA has been saying hello to me. He has gone to bed early because he is bored. He could have made the most of having the TV, PC and PS3 all to himself but it isn't the same without his brothers to argue over them with.


I can't believe it is already more than a week since we got back from our lovely holiday. Tonight I finished resizing my many photos.









Early morning on the deserted beach
swans at Potter Heigham where we eventually had a boat trip on the Broads.

I heard today that following another visit to see her consultant this morning it has been agreed that my mother will be having another operation on her knee..............I hope that after this one she will at last be able to walk again. The pain and inability to walk much have really aged my mother during the last few years. She is 66 going on 75.

Being a mother is the best and hardest job there is

I have just returned from one of the best holidays I have had. Sharing a 2 bedroom caravan with my crippled mother and 3 of my 4 teenage sons. The site was very small approx 40 caravans on a tiny plot meant that there was very little room to swing a cat (if we had taken one) either inside or outside the caravan. Our caravan was no more than 70 feet from the beach. (allowing for 2 x 20ft caravans plus space between). Immidiately in front of the front row of caravans there was a low wall seperating the beach from the caravan site. The sand was gloriously soft and felt lovely under foot, there were a few reed covered dunes then more soft sand before a band of pebbles between the soft sand and the water's edge. I spent a lot of time walking, sitting and photographing that beach (Caister on Sea). My sons played games and buried each other many times.

We did a lot of driving around the broads (I did the driving everyone else just watched the ever changing scenery). We planned a trip on a paddle steamer from Hickling, had a scrumptious meal while we waited for our trip, then I got stung by a wasp on the underside of my arm (excruciating pain). In a way it was a good thing that at the last minute two coaches turned up and took all the places on the boat so we couldn't go. It would have meant a further 1.5 hrs before I could get to the anti histamin cream and tablets.

We drove passed the RAF Base ET would be going to for his training (only to find when we returned home that he is now going to a different base). A visit to the zoo involved hiring a wheelchair for me to push my mother around in (a glimps of the future perhaps). We finally managed to get a boat trip on Friday from Potter Heigham luckily it was a covered boat as we were hit by a storm during the ride. (We had been so lucky with the weather until then).

I thoroughly enjoyed everything (apart from the wasp sting) but what really made the holiday so good was just being totally relaxed and enjoying being with my sons (mother too but more especially my boys). It was really good to see them enjoying themselves and enjoying being together (not always on the computer/games console). I had many many cuddles with both ET and JA, not so much OJ (being nearly 19 hes far too grown up to have cuddles with his mummy).

It was very important to me that we had this holiday together. I very much doubt that it will ever happen again. Next year even if I have two of them I doubt I would have all three together again for a holiday. All our lives will have changed in the next 12 months. My one regret about this holiday is that DC was not with us but he has already branched out by going to USA with his friends. We have had sporadic contact with him as they progress from west to east coast (last we heard they were in Denver).

Now we are back home, back to realilty. There was a letter waiting for ET his pre joining course has been brought forward to 28th Sept. He has his train tickets, all he has to do is get a train to London Waterloo, find his way to London Liverpool Street then get a train to Bury St Edmunds. He has a choice of two trains to BSE one arrives at 18.32 the other at 20.50 (transport will collect him and others at 21.00) so he is faced with a choice, wait around for 2.5 hrs or get the later train with the risk his train could be late. Now I have no worries about him getting to or from London on his own it is the bit in the middle that is causing the crisis (mainly my mother in a panic). He has only ever been to London a couple of times and never alone. (mother is convinced he will be mugged). I now have a list of items he will need to have with him for these 4 days. I have just managed to get him some high leg black boots (no steel toe caps) with heel and ankle support from ebay. (hopefully he can get them broken in by the time he goes).

The month of September is looming up in front of me with all these changes and arrangements that need to be organised. I can see that come October I shall be exhausted. Between now and 4th (3rd really) I have to make sure JA has everything he needs for the new school year, I had asked their father to do this for him, he hasn't...........as usual it is left to me. JA already has the biggest feet in the family (I only hope he doesn't keep growing too much). DC who returns from his trip on 11th will no doubt sleep for a couple of days while I try to get him organised for his move into University Halls on 19th. Whilst all this is happening I am trying to organise OJ ready for his move into Halls on 26th follwed by ET's adventure on 28th. (working full time all this time).

I have always believed that I am not the kind of mother who wraps her children in cotton wool. I have always given my children freedom (within reason and safety). I believe that although I have never had any control over my children I have managed to instill good manners and morals into them. I am often praised for how well spoken and behaved bright young men they are. However during this time of preparation it has hit me that I have not done such a great job. During our holiday we encouraged them to cook and clean etc (not out of laziness but for their own preparation to look after themelves). They can all cook (meaning heat up) food. But they cannot do the simplest of tasks without contantly asking how/where/when. Perhaps it is a boy thing they don't seem to be able to work things out or read instructions they have to be told step by step what to do.

I have always seen my boys as bright capable lads, now I see boys who have been molly coddled by their mother for far too long. Where I tried not to nag them too much, they don't seem able to think for themselves. Now I am worried that I have created mummies boys who might not manage without their mother telling them what to do every step of the way. I am not saying that I always do everything for them (I definitely don't) but I have always been there telling them what to do. If not in person then on the phone.

I don't know all the answers I don't always know what they need to do especially now that they are entering worlds that I have never been a part of. The rest of this year is going to be hard for them and for me, while they settle into their new lives and JA and I are left at home wondering why it is so quiet, worrying about our boys. I know they will each manage (they won't have a choice in that). Having two boys leaving the nest within a week of each other will be hard on us. Then if ET gets through his course (I have every confidence he will) then it won't be long before he joins the RAF properly and he will be gone too.

I love all my boys without exception, I couldn't possibly choose a favourite as they are all so different (my favourite is usually the one I am with at the time). I would never want to have not had any of them but I am not sure if I would ever want to go through motherhood again. When we are young we are warned that parenthood is not easy, there are no hard and fast rules but you never really understand just how hard it is being a mother until you have been through all the stages of your child's growing up (and I have been lucky to have an easy time of all my son's teen years).

Early morning start

It was only 5.15am when he shook me awake. I had insisted that he say goodbye before he went, I wanted to be awake when he left. It isn't that I am worried, I believe they will be safe and have a brilliant time. He will return with lots of tales to tell. It isn't that it would be the first time he has gone away. He has been going away without his mum for the last 10 years, first on tours with his football club then later with his band. But this time it is different, he will be in USA for 28 days just him and 2 mates. Although I have seen photos of them and their names have been mentioned many times over recent years I don't actually know either of them . When he returns he will only be here for a week before hes off again on his next big adventure. This time it will be 3 years of University. I know he will only be about 12 miles away but he won't be living at home, he will be back for visits but I don't expect them to be either frequent or long. So apart from that one week in September I feel that my blue eyed boy has left home. He has suddenly grown up, by Christmas I expect he will have changed a great deal.

Today I am not at work, I was supposed to be having a day out with Plumber, but at 7am this morning he told me that he can't make it. So I have spent my morning tracking the status of DC's flight to San Francisco, they became airborn at 11.44 not bad for an 11.30am flight. I have also been studying their very detailed schedule for the next 28 days. among other places they will be visiting San Francisco, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Grand Canyon, Denver, Hot Springs, Chicago and Niagara Falls finally ending their trip in New York City. He has promised me that they won't do anything silly that will get them into trouble during their trip. This is where they will be staying for the next few nights.

I have had a couple of dates in the last few days which I will tell you about shortly. I was going to write about them now but I have to go out on family errands.

Togetherness

Saturday afternoon and everyone was at home. None of us had any plans to go out. Bolonese was simmering one of the working hot plates. I am trying to be more active by going for walks, and of course taking my camera phone with me. I need to get some photos of all my boys together, a rare occurrence these days. I don't like posed photos so what better than a family outing.

Duck watching

Waiting for mum to cross the stepping stones

Watching

Tranquil

Looking Forward

I have not been feeling like blogging much in the last couple of weeks. I have had things to say but neither the inclination or energy to write anything. I am afraid I have not been reading other blogs much either and those I have read I haven't been commenting much so I apologise for my bad behaviour.

But I thought I would let you all know I am still here, my world is not totally centered around my health.

Tomorrow night I have an excuse to get all dressed up as I am going to a Rotary Dinner (that will be interesting my first meal out since this started).

Sunday evening I am meeting up with Golf.
Thursday evening I am seeing Echo
Both Plumber and Forest are around but nothing has been arranged with either of them although Forest does seem to be very keen to see me again when I am ready.

OJ has now finished his A'levels and thinks he has the whole summer to laze around before he goes off to Uni in early Oct. (His mother has other ideas).

DC is finally selling his car on Saturday!! He is furiously making arrangements for his month long trip to USA (3 of them are driving from west coast to East). Before he goes off to Uni late September.

ET is still trying to build his muscles and get fitter for his big adventure with the RAF (we still don't know when).

JA is just being a typical 13 yr old but has come into his own in the school cricket team (5 wickets and 54 runs not out yesterday). We are trying to prepare ourselves for the mass evacuation leaving the two of us alone together.

A grand night out

On Sunday I did a practice run in the daylight to find the venue for tonight's celebrations. It was only because I had to stop at the traffic lights that I found it as I was stopped right by the door.



Tonight I left home only a few minutes later than I had intended (I had to read all 7 of the emails from The Man). When I tried to turn out of our road I was confronted by a disturbing sight, a drunken young man stood in the road. The cars in all directions stopped, lights shining on this swaying statue for a few seconds that feel more like minutes. He raises his hand then staggers across the road in my direction. He walks in front of my car towards my passenger door, for a heart stopping moment I fear that he is going to try to open my door, I consider pressing the button that locks the doors, but instead I lurch my car forward and drive away as quickly as I can.



By the time I arrive at my mum's place to drag her out for the evening I have calmed down. It doesn't take long to arrive at our destination but after driving up and down several side roads without finding a place to park. I find myself at the traffic lights again so mother gets out whilst I continue my search for a space. Now I am on my own it doesn't matter if i have further to walk. But I found a space outside a pizza parlour not too far from the Bistro which was lucky. So off I go clip clopping along the uneven pavement. Pushing open the green door expecting to find the group of excited bloggers and a bemused mother, I am suprised to see just a few groups of people chatting quietly, no sign of the hosts or more worryingly my mother!



At the far end of the room I notice a girl in black heading down a short flight of stairs with a sign pointing the way to the wine bar. Quickly I make my way down the stairs. Is this some kind of joke, am I perhaps the guest at a suprise party, it is like The Marie Celeste down here in the room scattered with tables and chairs but no people. Even the girl in black has vanished. I did what I assume most people would do and returned to the bar above to ask if I was at the right place. It is the right place and I am shown the way back downstairs through the door at the end to the stairs leading to the conservatory outside.



Here I find a room buzzing with excitement. Mother waves to me from the far end of the room. Making my way towards her I met a very excited and lovely DJ Kirkby. Eat your hearts out people, I was priviledged to have met the reclusive DJ and even though she had warned us all that she is not tactile and doesn't like to be touched. DJ hugged me!.

DJ is as lovely as I knew she would be with a gorgeous smile. Chopper is just as I remember from those windswept days of another life except he now has his goatee. For two shy people both did a grand job of reading for us. DJ's talk about Autism was very interesting and not in a text book kind of way but real.

I also got to meet the lovely Casdoc who wrote the Shrek Rap which was performed for us by the talented Daren Callow. If you don't know what the Shrek Rap is you need to visit either DJ or Casdoc' blogs or even both. Casdoc and DJ have sons who are Autistic. Tonight's event apart from launching the books that DJ and Chopper have just had published, was to raise money for Portsmouth Autism Support Network.

Anyway I now have my signed copy of Chopper's book and my mum has a signed copy of DJ's book, we will swap once we have read them. Oh and I nearly forgot to mention that I also met Troy who has recently begun to read my blog, I know Trixie wil be jealous.

But then it was back to reality, wandering around a shop in my finery looking for the ingredients that are needed for tomorrow's food tech lesson. On arriving home I discovered the bathroom floor was flooded and the toilet blocked. Armed with an 18" rubber gauntlet it took me just a few seconds to dislodge the offending blockage before mopping up the floor with old towels.

Writing up tonight's events was interrupted by a trip across town at 12.20am yeee gods the temperature had dropped in the hour or so since I had got home. What was I doing going out at that time you are thinking. I had booked DC's car for its MOT early Tuesday, his car needed to be dropped off so I was giving him a lift home. BTW he has had a letter offering him 'An unconditional place' on the University course he had applied for.

worse than an episode of Hollyoaks

I have never seen Hollyoaks but when I was explaining to DC the latest goings on in my family as opposed to our family. He coented that it was worse than Hollyoaks.



It was mid evening on Saturday, my family is different to Eastenders our dramas happen after Christmas day. My mum rang to ask for my advice. My advice!! She wanted MY ADVICE!!!



She had had a call from my brother D who wanted her to take in his step son G (20). his fiancee, and his daughters A (4) and (J) 2 plus new baby who may or may not be his child but the girls are the baby's sisters. (I don't even know if baby is a boy or girl or when it was born). G was just 16 when he became a father, by the time he was 18 he and his g/f had a second daughter. At various times in the last few years there has been drama with this little family. The little girls's mother comes from a family well known by the local police. There have been threats at knife point. Staged burglaries, court battles for custody. It has all been more incredible than any fiction.



Finally after several break ups the young couple broke up last spring. It then transpired that there was another baby on the way although G was certain he wasn't the father. Eventually due to the mother's instability and neglect G was given custody of his two girls. The mother insisted that she wanted G to also have the new baby when it was born. We didn't believe he would or should take on the third baby but apparently he has.



This last drama was because G now has all three children with him at his new council flat where he lives with his new fiancee. I don't know what sparked it but the mother was threatening to kill the family and the police wanted them out of the area. They all live about an hour away from us so my mother was considered to be the obvious place for them to go.



The advice my mum wanted was should she take them in? To me there was no question. If I had room I would have had them here but there is just no way there was room for them here. But my mum lives alone in a three bedroom house although she only has one spare bed (single). The two little girls could have snuggled in there together whilst G and his partner could sleep on the sofa and arm chairs keeping the baby with them. There was an occasion during my divorce when the police had asked me to leave our house for the night and we had slept in the arm chairs/sofa at my mum's. so I know it is possible. But apparently it was the experience of my divorce that has put my mum off she feels she has been through enough family drama and this little family although she is 'great granny' to these girls and they have been to her house just a few weeks earlier, they are not 'our family'.



As it turned out other arrangements were made and the little family didn't need to stay with mum.



If that little drama was not enough there was heartbreak on Sunday when Charlie finished with DC after almost 5 years. He was upset but is surviving (with a few hugs from his mummy).





By the way it is now midnight so HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!




Oh and I had a pleasant suprise this evening when my phone rang ;)

A quick update

I gather that the young family have gone upto the big smoke to stay with another relative.

I have been asked if my unexpected call was from Romeo, the short answer is no, I would have been much more enthusiastic than 'a pleasant suprise' if it had been Romeo. No this was from a possible new man in my life. I have not thought of a name for him yet so I shall just call him 'the man' for the moment. we are taking things very slowly. He is only a couple of years my senior, lives in my town possibly less than a mile from me. I know who he is but he doesn't remember me. We have been in contact every day for the last three weeks apart from a gap of a few days when he was very busy in the run up to xmas.

why do weekends end too soon?

I would like to say I had a quiet lazy weekend especially after how tired I have been and knowing that the next two weekends are going to be very tiring. (next weekend I am going to visit Firebyrd with a few other bloggers I shall be driving up with Mei Del like I did last time.) The following weekend I am driving my mum up to visit my grandmother in the cotswolds. I took mum out for a trial drive today (the first time she has driven since her op). My grandmother will be 90 over the christmas holidays and still lives on her own, still drives short distances. I have decided to write a story for her for christmas probably about a little girl watching all the mischief that the occupants of a classy gift shop (such as the one y grandparents had when I as growing up) get upto at night. But I am also getting together a hamper of useful things for her including copy paper for her computer printer, washing powder etc. Things she would normally have to buy but will be able to save the money to spend on heating and food.

Saturday I did my six monthly turn my paper work out. I had to renew my car tax. My filing system consists of ...............open the envelope read it put it to one side to deal with later. Then after a few days scoop them all up and stow them in one of two drawers or a box in the corner of my bedroom. Then when I need something like when my tax is due I turn everything out on my bed until I find what I need. I always do find it eventually as I always keep everything for 6 years at least.

Having paid a few other bills (thats most of my xmas bonus gone already) I went to dee my mum before going shopping. My brother and family were there when I arrived, after they had gone we discussed what to buy my boys for xmas. I really don't know what to buy for any of them this year. Then I had to dash home to take JA to collect 2 of his friends who were staying over as it is JA's b'day tomorrow. My baby will be a teenager tomorrow.

I had decided to treat them to take away Pizza but first I still needed to go shopping for a few bits. While I was waiting for the pizzas I passed the time reading back over some of the romantic text messages Romeo has sent me (I couldn't help smiling). By the time I had shopped and bought pizza it was 8pm before I got back home.

Today has been a bit of a rush too. Taking the boys back home at 10 am as they were tres tired having not slept all night. Now I know what the bumps in the night were and when I thought someone had fallen down the stairs (I didn't investigate as I didn't hear anyone cry or scream etc). I managed to win an ebay auction for microsoft office 2003 for OJ for his laptop. before heading out to escort mum on her maiden drive. We collected OJ so that he could have a chat about Law with his learned (retired solicitor) granny while I headed off for a quick session at the gym. No problems this time. (I avoided the treadmill this week and made sure I drank plenty of water afterwards).

Back to mum's to join in the conversation with mum and OJ then drop OJ back home and gather up DC and off to the Shopping Outlet centre. Managed to buy some trainers for JA and also my secret santa gift for Firebyrd's party. By the time we got to Tesco it had closed 10 minutes earlier.

Next stop was the tres tres posh Golf and Country Club which DC wanted to join for it's gym. It is not far from his work and several of his work mates are members. He is now a Corporate Member (if I want to join I can join on his Corporate Membership because I am his mother and he still lives at home.) It was very impressive and I do like the idea of swimming by candlelight. The Bistro is quite inviting too. The sort of place I can envisage taking Romeo to eat. It is only £7.50 per month more than the gym I belong to which doesn't have a swimming pool or a Bistro. I do enjoy swimming so perhaps I shall treat myself to a change in the New Year.

I managed to get myself into a spot of road rage after leaving. Pulling up to a roundabout that appeared to be clear I shot out into the turning in time to see a car speeding towards me on my left. Ok I just had time to get out of his way but he was not happy, after blasting his horn for far too long he kept on my tail with his lights blazing trying to intimidate me. I just continued on my way with him following up close for a few miles, there were plenty of chances fro him to overtake but he didn't. He waited until another roundabout onto a busy A road before he came around me cutting me up. Upon reaching the bottom of the hill by the village he turned left back towards the way we had come which just told me that he would have got to his destination quicker had he turned off several miles earlier. DC says tht in my place he would have kept stepping on the brakes to make the prat slow down then he would have wound down his window and given them the finger. I just don't think it was worth the aggravation. So he didn't like me pulling out in front of him, so he had to slow down a little, but he hadn't reached the roundabout so I was safe. Get over it prat!!

I have been stooooopid tonight though. Because I really don't know what to buy for any of my boys this year, I can't buy clothes or music as I would get them wrong. I had a mini brain wave.
This is where you have to imagine the thought bubble over my head (I think I will get them a Wii they will be cheaer this year). So a quick visit to ebay find one for £150 which is just about to end and one for £170 also about to end. On impulse I bid on one that has 10 seconds to go. So now I have won a wii for £172. Now I am panicking!! have I bought this for them or me? They have never once said they want one, they are happy with their computers and PS3. Is it just me who thinks it would be good after all it was fun when I played on Trixie's wii with her and firebyrd. Plus I now realise this one doesn't come with any games. So I have been trawling ebay etc looking for games.

Now I must finish this as I have to wrap up JA's birthday presents ready for the morning.

when enough is enough and what happens next

The aliens have been back again.
Only its my sons who have felt the force.
Last night my boys were going to visit their dad for dinner. He now has a flat in a refurbished block which used to be the local B& B used by the council for its homeless people, which means that he is still within easy walking distance but more importantly has somewhere that our boys can visit him.

I had worked through my lunch so was rather hungry when I got in from work. finding the house empty I set about cooking my dinner which consisted of vegetables being cooked in a wok. I ahd almost finished when I heard DC coming in. He complained that I had cooked my own dinner, he had planned to cook for both of us. Apparently he hadn't wanted to have dinner with the others but had driven them there.

It seems that when he visited Charlie over the weekend the two of them had done some experimental cooking which he wanted to try out at home. But as I had already made my dinner he would cook for all of us tonight. I am wondering what has come over my newly domesticated eldest son. Earlier ET had begun to tackle the mountain that is the clean laundry mountain in the dining room.

This evening I phoned DC whilst I was in Asda before tackling the motorway, he had just been shopping for the food he needed to cook dinner (4 chicken pieces) I think he has forgotten there are 5 of us. when I got home ET has now tackled most of the laundry mountain. He had also washed up including all the pots and pans (with encouragement from DC).

There is a reason why ET has suddenly started doing more about the house.

He has decided that enough is enough.

If you were hoping from the title of this post that I had reached the end of the road with Romeo then I can only apologise.

ET has decided that he isn't going to go back to college. He wants to quit. He says he isn't enjoying college or any of the subjects he is studying. We went through all this 2 weeks into the term, but at that point I was able to persuade him to continue. I got the impression he had settled better and it was ok. But he says it had got better for a while but now he hates it.

We sat up talking until 1.30am on monday night. He wants to get an apprenticeship, very good but he wants to design computer games. I think he has a serious problem here. so we need to look at all his options. He knows that he can't just do nothing, he knows that if he is not in education I will lose 1/3 of the benefits I get at the moment so he needs to earn enough to give me that amount of money.

I am at a loss as to what is his best option. What I do know is that I will not allow him to think quitting college is the easy option. I ahve made it clear that he won't be staying up late playing computer games then staying in bed all day. He has to go to bed at a reasonable time and I shall get him out of bed early in the mornings, he will have a routine in his day. He will do chores around the house. He will go to the local connexions office at least 3 times a week. He will spend time each day trying to find something that suits him and at the same time earns him money. any suggestions will be gratefully received.

Souvenir

warning don't read if you are squeamish!

Today was the day, today was written on the calendar in big red letters .......Mum's Knee op.

Today I phoned the hospital to ask if mum was back from theatre.

It was lunchtime so I was sure she would have had her op by now.

I was very suprised when they passed the phone to mum, she hadn't gone down yet and was starving after nothing since midnight apart from 'a gallon of tea at 6.30am'. She asked me to tell her friends not to visit her tonight. Her friend who took her in yesterday was going to visit with another friend. So I rang her to say that mum had not had her op yet so wouldn't be able to see anyone.

I rang the hospital again at about three just to make sure and yes she was in theatre by then. What a relief I know mum would have been so bitterly upset if she had to put up with this pain until another date could be scheduled.

I rang again at about 6pm as I was waiting for my prescription (I have been suffering from eye infections for some time although apart from my eyelids being red they were not bothering me too much. I figured it was down to me rubbing my eyes when our cat gets too close. ) I had finally made a dr's appointment.

To my suprise the phone was again passed to mum. Three hours earlier she was being operated on and now they were handing the phone to her!!! She had not been fully put under for this op, having an epidural, she had been drifting in and out during the op. She could hear lots of hammering and when she heard what sounded like a circular saw she wanted the screen moved so she could watch!!!! ewww how grisley and yes marmie I do remember you taking pics of your op. Anyway as it turned out they didn't need to do a complete replacement of her replacement knee, just replacing the plastic piece in the middle of the joint, also taking away a piece of bone that had grown where it shouldn't have done plus a bit more of a tidy up in there. (this was her 4th op on this knee in 5 years). Only my mum and perhaps marmie too would ask for te bit they removed but it had been thrown away. Can you believe she wanted to keep it as a souvenir. DC says he can't really imagine granny keeping her knee in a jar on the shelf.

On the phone she sounded on the verge of tears but she said she is fine just still feeling the effects of the aneasthetic. She has been bored so can't wait for me to bring her a book tomorrow, she already read one book and half another, but she did say she has been people watching and has lots to tell me about. I can't wait lol.

Tomorrow is OJ's day, my little scholar will be 18. He and DC will be playing five a side football tomorrow night, I have a feeling they will be having a pint afterwards. DC has been waiting for his little brother to be old enough to have a drink with him. He has plans for the two of them to do pub quizzes together.

update on charlie's mum. She is having an MRI scan tomorrow, she has type 2 cancer and is booked in for surgery to have her breast removed next wednesday. DC spent sat evening with the family they had several chats about it and are feeling positive which I know is a good thing. She has several lmps and the largest one has roots rather like an octopus according their description.

Shock

DC has been seeing his lovely girlfriend Charlie for 4 1/2 years now. Charlie has recently gone off to University to do a degree in fashion. She was lucky enought o get one of just 30 coveted places at Brighton. She has only been there a couple of weeks. Yesterday she sent DC a shocking text.

Her mother (just as lovely) has got breast cancer. It is just a couple of weeks since she found the lump but already has the diagnosis.

I am proud of DC, he phoned L to tell her how sorry he is and offer his help if needed. He also asked if I would be willing to talk to her about it if she wants. Of course I would. He is showing a lot of sensitivity. I think this will probably be the time he talks to me about my cancer as at the time he avoided me as he couldn't cope (he was just 13).

catching up

Where to start?

Saturday morning I went off to put a deposit on the car DC wanted to buy. Then I had to juggle my money so that there was enough in my current account so that DC could get the insurance set up, he had to pay for two months in advance then pays nothing for two months. This meant that I was left with very little to buy food but that was ok as DC was going to pay me back in cash when he got home. I spent a couple of hours with my mum in the afternoon.

Whilst at my mums she had a phone call, I could only hear her side of it but it was very soon apparent who and what the call was.

'no SF I can't lend you any money.'

'no I am a bit short myself at the moment'

'well I can lend you £20 that I have in my purse'

'I don't want you to come here'

'no don't come here and don't try to see LiR'

'I will give the money to her so she can give it to one of the boys to give you'

'No you will have to arrange to meet one of the boys'

No prizes for working that one out. I phoned OJ who said that his dad had rung him asking if he could lend him any money.

' I told him I don't have any and nor does mum.'

Sunday was another warm sunny day, I drove DC to where his new car was, he signed on the dotted line and paid his money. I drove around the corner and waited for him to follow but he didn't then I saw him in my rear view mirror talking to the guy he had just bought the car from. A few minutes later I got a text from DC

flat battery!

Jump leads and a couple of minutes with the engine running he was ready to go. So now my son has a car that he can afford to run so he shouldn't have any need to borrow mine.

I spent my afternoon at the cinema with my mum. The Duchess was a very moving and interesting film. Kiera Knightley' Duchess was a very powerful character,you could help feel her pain and frustrations.

I ended my day by having a long conversation with Forest. The start of this conversation was quite painful for me. We were not talking about our past, that is in the past now and we have moved on. But he was asking me about Romeo. I have been finding these last few weeks hard to cope with as I had not heard from Romeo for three weeks which is longer than any other time that I have not heard from him. I am and always have been confident that I just have to be patient and he would be back and I know that as soon as I hear from him I shall be fine. But talking to Forest made the whole situation worse for me. The questions he asked (the same questions everyone myself included) put doubts in my mind that I can't afford to have there. In order to survive these absences I need to be strong and patient and have absolute faith and trust in Romeo. When someone sows these seeds of doubt in my mind it hurts me. I had to change the subject.

Oh yes thats when things began to get hot. Among other things the conversation turned to Lotto, I am not saying why or how that subject came up. But to cut a long story short I was telling Forest about my conversation with Lotto last weekend, when he tried to be my master. He was very half hearted about it and caved in to me very easily. This led to me telling Forest that he would be good at being a Master. He is a passive aggressive, or so I thought a couple of times when we were together. Well it was like a light being switched on. Forest went into Dom mode and yes I would say that he has the making of a Dom, now this is a side to him that I never saw before.

Anyway having talked to him last night and following a text I got this morning from Aunty in reply to a text I sent to her on Saturday I was feeling rather depressed and hurt about Romeo. So much so that I was feeling like he was ignoring me. I wanted to send him a text telling him that he was hurting me but I didn't I just got on with my work and plastered a smile on my face everytime I answered the phone. I am not quite sure if I mentioned the other week that another of my customers has been chatting me up. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for his email address meaning his work one but he gave me his personal email address. We have exchanged a couple of emails nothing much.

Today I was given a message to phone him as he wanted to place an order. We must have been chatting for at least half an hour as I was taking his order. During the conversation he insisted on giving me his mobile number. I text him later to let him know that his order had been packed and would be delivered tomorrow. So now he has my mobile number. Perhaps that was a mistake. I really enjoyed chatting to him and our conversation lifted my spirits. So my depression was beginning to lift so I was feeling much happier. I think this guy could be featuring here a bit more so I had better give hima name. Paulo.

To my utter suprise I got a text from Romeo at lunch time telling me he has just returned from a trip to the far east. I guess he will be getting over jet lag for the next few days so I have just replied that I had started to get worried about him. I shall just leave him be now and wait for him to contact me. Although I enjoyed chatting to Forest last night I really wish he hadn't sown the seeds of doubt in my mind.

As for Paulo, I had only been in the house for 10 minutes when he phoned me just because he wanted to hear my voice. Apparently he finds my voice very sexy and I intrigue him. We talked about families (he has been seperated 6 months) homes, he wants to get my shower fixed for me (so he can share it with me tut tut)and we talked about food, dieting and gyms. Again we chatted for a good half an hour. I have had 5 emails from him in the last hour. Ok so he wouldn't keep sending them if I didn't reply. But I do enjoy talking to him.

So now I don't know where I am at. I have such strong feelings for Romeo but I feel hurt by his lack of communications in the last two months. I guess I shall just see how things pan out with Romeo over the next few weeks. If we can't progress in the next month then there is no point in carrying on all it is doing is hurting me. It hurts me that I am beginning to feel this way because I really felt we had something special. Perhaps its just the length of his absence then what Forest was saying last night that I just can't fully shake off.

Trying not to dance

The day started off a little badly, not terrible but not as it should have done.

My alarm didn't go off as it should have done, so I overslept (although some of the credit for that goes to the blogger I was chatting to on msn until I fell asleep). It seems that ET had turned my radio alarm off yesterday instead of letting it switch off on its own at 8am as it does every day. So at 7.30 I left the house a few minutes late only to discover that my car was not parked in its usual place. When will I learn???

Last night DC was going into the City with his work mates. His car was untaxed so I said he could borrow mine if he got a few bits of shopping for me first. He said he wouldn't drink and would be home early. Oh really!!! So why was it that when I rang him he was 'just leaving'.

Just leaving!!! Just leaving where??

The City and not just the city but the part furthest away and in the rush hour!!!!!

He finally arrived home with my car at 8.20 when I should have been at work before 8.00am. I finally got there at 9am. I'm not worried that I will have to make up the time though. I am always early, only take 30 mins for lunch and nearly always work 30 + mins later than I am meant to.

Anyway my day got better, mid morning I was given a piece of cherry and coconut cake (don't tell Trixie). One of our temporary temps makes cakes for a cafe and brought some in. It was very nice even if I am trying to be good.

But the best was saved for later.

Mid afternoon I was asked to look after the phones. As I returned to my desk from a foray into accounts NL was asked to go to the boardroom for a moment. I had an idea what that was about but was still suprised when he returned to his desk, put his coat on and was gone. so the deed has been done, my main source of stress in last few months has gone at last.

So I am trying hard not to DANCE, I want to dance and sing and show how happy I am. Less stress, less work, less frustration, less complaints.

Just to top that I have just been given an envelope containing £500 cash. DC is trying to sell his car and buy another cheaper one. The seller wasn't there today when DC had his day off but will be there tomorrow when DC will be working until 5pm. So good old mum has to go put a deposit on it for him or maybe even pay for it. Generously DC has said I can keep the extra £5. Now what shall I spend it on?

shock horror

Tonight DC quit from the band that he built up from the age of 12

They started out as a 4 piece band, he was lead guitar but also did some of the singing until his voice began to break. For a while they became a 5 piece band, at this point 8 years later there have been a few changes in band members but DC was one of only two original band members left. DC has always enjoyed not only the taking part in playing. But also the designing of CD covers, badges and T-Shirts. Right from the start he was the driving force behind the band, arranging gigs, recording etc. He has written a lot of the music and lyrics for the songs they sang, they have never been interested in doing covers.

So this is the end of an era or is it.

Will he stick to his guns or will he miss what has been the most important part of his life for the last 8 years (other than his g/f of 4.5 years).

From what he was saying on Monday he wants to concentrate more on his art work than his music.

DC jumped

Things at work have not been improving with NL. After 2 months he is not improving, it seems to be one step forward two steps backwards. I have not been tearing my hair out so much in recent weeks because I have not allowed myself to become stressed. However Boss Lady has been getting increasingly frustrated with him. It is looking very likely that he won't be there in a month's time. The question is will he jump or be pushed.

There is a woman (Ruby) in the accounts department who I have never mentioned before. She works part time, has been there since March and is currently on her second job as she did not get on very well in the first. I had heard rumours about her (I don't know much about her ) but yesterday I heard this noise. It was a noise I recognised but didn't think anything of at the time even though it is not something I have ever heard before during a working day. There was a slight commotion at the other end of the office and NL began to giggle. Being slightly deaf I asked him what he was laughing at. Apparently Ruby had fallen asleep and begun to snore. Since then I have noticed several times that one or other of the accounts staff have had to wake her.

'Ruby .......you went again'

has been heard at intevals throughout the day. I have also heard that she fell asleep in the ladies toilets yesterday. Her boss PB has been getting fed up with her inability to learn her job, added to this falling asleep, I wonder how long it will be before she either jumps or is pushed.

As from today I have started leaving work at 4.30 instead of 5pm, (not before time according to Boss Lady). But the reason I left on time today and will do tomorrow and for how ever long it takes has nothing to do with work or even family. My daily drive home generally takes me around 30 to 35 minutes unless there are any traffic problems. Yesterday it took the usual 30 minutes to get as far as my town. I joined the queue of traffic on the hill waiting for the lights at the top, But I soon realised that we had been stationary for too long. As I watched, it became evident that traffic was not progressing along the road I would be turning into at the top, for the last 2 miles of my drive home. Eventually we began to crawl along, taking 40 minutes to drive the last 2 miles. What had caused this traffic problem I wondered as we kept creeping ever nearer to my home. All became clear as I reached the shopping precinct about 500m from the turning towards my home. Temporary traffic lights at the junction beside the place where they recently pulled down the pub SF used to frequent.

Traffic lights for some 'Essential Gas works' .....................it must have been a huge hole in the road to cause such problems.........but hang on I didn't pass any holes in the road...........WTF was that all about. Later I went to ASDA and noticed that it is in fact 3 way traffic lights, it isn't the main road that is being dug up but the side road. This side road is not overly busy, plus it is easily accessible from the road I use to get to my home. However the main road ..............without any holes being dug...............was being held up by these lights ..............in the rush hour for what reason!!!!! So because of these lights it took me 1hr 10 mins to get home yesterday (PB left after me and took 1hr 25 mins to get home). Today we both left work earlier. Today I got past the hill, the lights at the top, the road along the back of the town that overlooks the Motorway far below. Turned into the main road heading towards home, as I reached a bend in the road about 200 yrds on I joined the back of the traffic. It was 5.02pm I got home (little over 1/2 mile further) at 5.25pm grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

If only there was another way home, of only there was any road I could take to avoid these road works, unfortunately there is not. There are three roads into town and at that time of night both the other two are very bad day in day out, so there is no way to avoid getting stuck.