Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts

Monday, 31 August 2009

Being a mother is the best and hardest job there is


I have just returned from one of the best holidays I have had. Sharing a 2 bedroom caravan with my crippled mother and 3 of my 4 teenage sons. The site was very small approx 40 caravans on a tiny plot meant that there was very little room to swing a cat (if we had taken one) either inside or outside the caravan. Our caravan was no more than 70 feet from the beach. (allowing for 2 x 20ft caravans plus space between). Immidiately in front of the front row of caravans there was a low wall seperating the beach from the caravan site. The sand was gloriously soft and felt lovely under foot, there were a few reed covered dunes then more soft sand before a band of pebbles between the soft sand and the water's edge. I spent a lot of time walking, sitting and photographing that beach (Caister on Sea). My sons played games and buried each other many times.

We did a lot of driving around the broads (I did the driving everyone else just watched the ever changing scenery). We planned a trip on a paddle steamer from Hickling, had a scrumptious meal while we waited for our trip, then I got stung by a wasp on the underside of my arm (excruciating pain). In a way it was a good thing that at the last minute two coaches turned up and took all the places on the boat so we couldn't go. It would have meant a further 1.5 hrs before I could get to the anti histamin cream and tablets.

We drove passed the RAF Base ET would be going to for his training (only to find when we returned home that he is now going to a different base). A visit to the zoo involved hiring a wheelchair for me to push my mother around in (a glimps of the future perhaps). We finally managed to get a boat trip on Friday from Potter Heigham luckily it was a covered boat as we were hit by a storm during the ride. (We had been so lucky with the weather until then).

I thoroughly enjoyed everything (apart from the wasp sting) but what really made the holiday so good was just being totally relaxed and enjoying being with my sons (mother too but more especially my boys). It was really good to see them enjoying themselves and enjoying being together (not always on the computer/games console). I had many many cuddles with both ET and JA, not so much OJ (being nearly 19 hes far too grown up to have cuddles with his mummy).

It was very important to me that we had this holiday together. I very much doubt that it will ever happen again. Next year even if I have two of them I doubt I would have all three together again for a holiday. All our lives will have changed in the next 12 months. My one regret about this holiday is that DC was not with us but he has already branched out by going to USA with his friends. We have had sporadic contact with him as they progress from west to east coast (last we heard they were in Denver).

Now we are back home, back to realilty. There was a letter waiting for ET his pre joining course has been brought forward to 28th Sept. He has his train tickets, all he has to do is get a train to London Waterloo, find his way to London Liverpool Street then get a train to Bury St Edmunds. He has a choice of two trains to BSE one arrives at 18.32 the other at 20.50 (transport will collect him and others at 21.00) so he is faced with a choice, wait around for 2.5 hrs or get the later train with the risk his train could be late. Now I have no worries about him getting to or from London on his own it is the bit in the middle that is causing the crisis (mainly my mother in a panic). He has only ever been to London a couple of times and never alone. (mother is convinced he will be mugged). I now have a list of items he will need to have with him for these 4 days. I have just managed to get him some high leg black boots (no steel toe caps) with heel and ankle support from ebay. (hopefully he can get them broken in by the time he goes).

The month of September is looming up in front of me with all these changes and arrangements that need to be organised. I can see that come October I shall be exhausted. Between now and 4th (3rd really) I have to make sure JA has everything he needs for the new school year, I had asked their father to do this for him, he hasn't...........as usual it is left to me. JA already has the biggest feet in the family (I only hope he doesn't keep growing too much). DC who returns from his trip on 11th will no doubt sleep for a couple of days while I try to get him organised for his move into University Halls on 19th. Whilst all this is happening I am trying to organise OJ ready for his move into Halls on 26th follwed by ET's adventure on 28th. (working full time all this time).

I have always believed that I am not the kind of mother who wraps her children in cotton wool. I have always given my children freedom (within reason and safety). I believe that although I have never had any control over my children I have managed to instill good manners and morals into them. I am often praised for how well spoken and behaved bright young men they are. However during this time of preparation it has hit me that I have not done such a great job. During our holiday we encouraged them to cook and clean etc (not out of laziness but for their own preparation to look after themelves). They can all cook (meaning heat up) food. But they cannot do the simplest of tasks without contantly asking how/where/when. Perhaps it is a boy thing they don't seem to be able to work things out or read instructions they have to be told step by step what to do.

I have always seen my boys as bright capable lads, now I see boys who have been molly coddled by their mother for far too long. Where I tried not to nag them too much, they don't seem able to think for themselves. Now I am worried that I have created mummies boys who might not manage without their mother telling them what to do every step of the way. I am not saying that I always do everything for them (I definitely don't) but I have always been there telling them what to do. If not in person then on the phone.

I don't know all the answers I don't always know what they need to do especially now that they are entering worlds that I have never been a part of. The rest of this year is going to be hard for them and for me, while they settle into their new lives and JA and I are left at home wondering why it is so quiet, worrying about our boys. I know they will each manage (they won't have a choice in that). Having two boys leaving the nest within a week of each other will be hard on us. Then if ET gets through his course (I have every confidence he will) then it won't be long before he joins the RAF properly and he will be gone too.

I love all my boys without exception, I couldn't possibly choose a favourite as they are all so different (my favourite is usually the one I am with at the time). I would never want to have not had any of them but I am not sure if I would ever want to go through motherhood again. When we are young we are warned that parenthood is not easy, there are no hard and fast rules but you never really understand just how hard it is being a mother until you have been through all the stages of your child's growing up (and I have been lucky to have an easy time of all my son's teen years).

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

I'm on holiday don't ya know

I'm on holiday this week and its fab

yesterday I spent all day watching the olympics, searching on ebay and blogging oh and from my position sat on my new bed I could see my boys and pals playing cricket on the green about 100 yds away.

I didn't even bother to get dressed I spent the whole day in my PJs which was wonderful, I don't think I have ever done that unless I'm ill. I felt so relaxed and content. Perhaps I should do this more often.

Today I treated myself to a visit to the hairdresser and had a catch up with 'my hairdresser' it was the first time she has cut my hair since last October. In December she couldn't cut my hair because she was too busy cutting my mum's hair then a few months ago her husband had a brain haemorage and was in a coma so she gave up work until he was better. I must say that by the time I left my hair looked absolutely fabulous. But it didn't last. Not long after this I was walking to my car ready to visit my mum when the heavens opened. I had my brolley bu both hands were full with things I was carrying. So my hair got wet and my lovely smooth straight hair became curly.








Although I hadn't told my mum I was going to visit her today she had a feeling I would and had some real cream chocolate eclairs to have with our cuppa.









After I had spent a couple of hours chatting to my mum about anything and everything including writing styles, she is thinking of going back to our creative writing classes. Now I am pondering should I do the same ......would be fun but could also be dangerous. Perhaps I shall do the belly dancing class instead. I went off to asda, first stopping at the bottle bank to get rid of all the bottles I have been accumulating. JA calls me an alcoholic but in truth 95% of the bottles are non alcoholic wine. Then it was a visit to an out of town business centre to collect one of my parcels. My pretty pink chiffon frill skirt has arrived. As has the pink samsung now I am not sure whether to keep it or give it to my mum as the phone I bought her for xmas has given up just like JA's one has (oh well I only paid £19 each for them).

I have been keeping an eye on the other items I had found on ebay. Since yesterday's post I have procured myself a rose quartz necklace, an amber bead necklace.












I also won a Randolph Duke reversible green skirt. Which then meant that I got another skirt at a great discount so I chose a Anttony Light Brown Mosaic of Love Skirt which I can't now find a picture of.



















I have bought these shoes for a mere £0.99 plus p+p

But I am not sure which of these shoes to go for




these sling backs currently at £2.50 plus p+p or these sasha court shoes currently at £5 plus p+p









Tomorrow I shall get myself to the gym and in the evening I have been invited out for a drink. somewhere in between I need to sort out my old clothes. Thursday I may even get down to doing some work then on friday I'm off out for lunch with my mum.




Then just in case you were not aware I am off to have fun with Fire Byrd aka Bollinger Byrd, collecting Mei Del on the way, there will be a fwe others there too. as far as I am aware there will be about 8 of us this time so who knows what fun we will manage to get up to.

If I'm really lucky I may even get to see Romeo at some point too.

which for some reason has reminded me that I was chatting tonight with LV about my latest fantasy. When I began writing it I had only the very first line in my mind, I had no idea who the characters would be or where the story would take me. When I got to the end I felt I ahd taken it as far as I could but later started building profiles in my mind for the two characters so perhaps I shall write more about them. LV seems to have enjoyed this one describing it as very hot. So if anyone else agrees perhaps I shall write some more. I had thought I had lost any inspiration to write these fantasies but maybe I am beginning to get my inspiration back.