Dangerous

Ok so my last post was about discovering that I had an unexpected windfall.

Great now I can pay my water bill, buy school shoes, a new classy outfit to wear for the posh wedding in Norfolk next month. I can take the boys out one day and not worry about the expense too much. I can afford fuel to get to London and or Brighton if required and I can get to Bollinger Byrd's party next weekend.

But giving me money is dangerous.

In the last 36 hours I have bought a package on the Irish, Spanish, french and Portugese Lotteries (they were lucky if the call had come a day earlier I would have had to decline) my packages over the last few months have reaped a whopping 50p..................I'm not giving up the day job just yet.

I have been shopping on ebay for a new phone for JA as I am fed up with not being able to get hold of him until late at night when he gets his friend to call me for a lift home. I ended up winning a new pink samsung for me and not him.

So today I took myself into town ..........................this is why I rarely go into town. The plan was to go to the bank to order a new bank card for JA he lost it when his younger pal was playing with his wallet grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Get the nokia, I had brought home from work when we got new office phones, unlocked. Have a look for something to wear next time I see Romeo or perhaps for the wedding, go to wilkinsons to see if they have any coconut shampoo/conditioner.

The reality was not quite to plan. JA decided to stay home as it was raining. He has managed to lose the nokia somewhere in his room. As I walked into the shopping centre I went straight to the book shop, I don't go there often as I tend to get hand me down books from my mum and friends. I can't afford to buy new books that I am only ever going to read once.

Which reminds me, there is one book I have read twice in the last 15 years the second time was about 10 years ago. I have been trying to remember what it was called and who the author was. It was set in modern day London about a young girl (20's) who was having sessions of regression which took her back to an earlier life in which she was living a life terrorised by a man who was in her life now. I am trying to remember how it went but I am getting muddled up with another book set in the times of King Arthur. I asked my mum the other day if she remembered it but she says she didn't read it so I must have got that one from somewhere else. Another friend or a boot sale/school fete. Since reading that book I have had a curiousity about regression but never taken it any further. I am now wondering if I would like to find out more about it.

So I go into the bookshop telling myself that I am looking for restaurant guides. MD has lent me his very smart (leather bound) copy of Harden's Restaurant guide 2008 because I was asking him for advice on decent restaurants I can take Romeo to. ( I did find one in there that looks perfect for my idea of a romantic posh restaurant not too far away. I couldn't find any sections for restaurant guides. I did peruse the fiction section as I am also trying to remember the name of another author who has a whole series of books I read a couple of years ago. I don't remember his name and when I have asked mother as she lent me the first one she doesn't know. I keep coming back to the name Colin ??????. His books are fast moving secret agent type action often set partially in the south of England but also in Europe and Scandinavia. Every time I go into the book shop I look for these books I can remember where on the book shelves they were when I bought the one or two I did buy all those years ago. It was either during or before I was ill.

Anyway I am sidetracked and as I am trying to find where his books might be I am looking through Sci fi fantasy then I move around the corner and start checking out the books on spiritual and self help. I am drawn to the bottom shelf of the middle section where I find the tarot cards. Over the years I have thought about buying some tarot cards but never found a pack I was drawn to or any that I could afford. I was not looing for any cards today so I moved on looking at the books of angels......I have a book of angels that Auntie recomended to me a few years ago. I looked at the books on the shelves above but I kept coming back to this sweet blue grey box on the bottom shelf . Once I had checked it out along with the other sets and gone back to the same one I picked it up and moved to the next set of shelves on self help where I chose a book. Now I love love books .......fiction books I don't do non fiction. But not only did I buy this book proclaiming to be a NO. 1 International Bestseller I even began reading it in the car. £15

Next stop the clothes shop opposite where I bought two blouses and a shawl oh and a set of beads. (I managed to snap the chain on the beads I wore when I met Romeo, these are very similar but a different style). £38.

I didn't go to the bank as JA wasn't with me but I went to the phone shop I usually use and bought him a cheap Sony ericson for £24 + £10 top up. where did I go next ?

Oh yes I managed to make it across the road in the rain to Wilkinsons and yes they had some big bottles of coconut shampoo and conditioner. I did buy a few other bits and pieces in there too. Then I figured I needed to get back to my car before I spent any more. Once back at my car I had a quick look at my new book while I decided whether I really wanted to go to Asda to do a food shop or just nip into our local store for tonights dinner. In the end I plumped for Asda for tonights dinner and a new towel. I am sure that the boys have been eating our bath towels as just as they can never find any socks all the towels have gone AWOL too.

Ok when I go to Asda my feet automatically take me to the George section (clothes) before anything else. I resisted looking along the aisles of clothes but couldn't resist the lingerie aisle. 1 pair of black lacey knickers along with a matching set of bra and knickers in white with pink embroidery later I managed to get to the men's section and collected 4 packs of black socks (3 for £1) I have been buying these socks for the last couple of years............stops the problem of matching up pairs if every one of their socks are identical. Doesn't stop the socks disappearing into sofas and under beds though. Next aisle being homeware I collected up a fluffy bath sheet in cerise and another in beige. Then spotted the beach towels £3 each or 2 for £5 so of course I got 4. For some reason I decided that I need a second wok. Oh and a new set of cds 100 romantic classics £7. all of this and tonights dinner including ice cream came to £72. so I recon including cash back etc I have got through approx £200 pounds today.

Giving me any extra money is a dangerous thing to do.

It now seems that I have given every member of the family something new today. After the shopping had been unpacked and put away by JA (only right he does something to earn his new phone) my clothes hung up and the new towels and packs of socks dished out I went into the kitchen. Nipper thinks she has a new gift too. Damn cat was sitting in the new wok that hadn't been put away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time and Trust

Last week I mentioned that there were some tarot readings whilst I was visiting Vi. Both Vi and Bollinger Byrd read my cards for me. They did this drunk then again sober the next day.

There were a number of similarities in each reading. It seems my work will go well but I should be careful of someone in my work place who is jealous, I can relate to this.

My love is coming in for me soon.

But one thing that kept recurring was that I feel as though I am being attacked but I am not really being attacked. I have thought about this and in all honesty I don't feel as though I am being attacked. However something that I do feel is very defensive so Ithink this is where the being attacked comes from.

To illustrate this last night I was chatting on IM and was asked about Romeo. The person I was chatting to said they were going to play devils advocate. But this was very brief as, he only asked me one question before my reply led to him saying........

what ever I say you are going to defend.

probably

You see I don't feel as though I am being attacked but I do feel that I am constantly having to defend Romeo and my reasons for holding out for him.

Last night after my migraine had gone but I was still feeling washed out I was doing a bit of surfing and found Jonathan Cranier's web site. On a whim I checked out the love characters. This is part of what it says about people born under the same sun sign as Romeo.

to win the heart of one of these people. You give them time. Lots of it. Months if need be. Years if you really care. And you also give them that time if you want the relationship to last. You think of the long term. You make it abundantly clear that you mean business - and you prove it, by offering your trust. You don't use words - for words are cheap, as every Taurean, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarian knows.

You don't make dramatic gestures. Indeed, you keep drama to a minimum. For even if they appear to thrive on it, they secretly find it threatening. What they want is stability, plain and simple. For while some people consider continuity to be just a little boring, these deeply loyal people crave it like a drug. And rightly so, for they deserve it.

I didn't know any of this but it was what my instincts have been telling me from the start.

Something else that came out of my readings was that my inner strength comes from strength itself. Sometimes giving Romeo the time and space without being dramatic and making demands has taken all the strength I possess. But other days it feels like the easiest thing in the world because I do trust him implicitly.

vodka and more

You don't really want to read about drunken debauchery here right now do you so I won't write any.

As if I have not had enough, here I am drinking vodka while I blog, considering that I don't drink very often anyone would think that I had had more than enough vodka last night to last me a few weeks if not months.



If you were not aware of what I was upto last night it was bit of a get together with some of my blog friends. The occasion was one of Vi's friend's singing in one of the bars in her small town. There were meant to be more of us but there was some confusion over the day as Vi had said friday 31st. Obviously it couldn't be. Anyway after a bit of plane spotting on the way which they took to mean I was stuck near Luton airport........I should have been so lucky. The journey should have taken about 2 hours but after two hours I was in the M25 car park crawling towards the planes that had started off as inch long blobs in the sky until as I was updating the girls via my hands free I was so close to the planes I felt that I could reach out of the window grab hold of the plane as it passed over and hitch a lift

.........perhaps I had a premonition as I sent an email from work as I was leaving saying

I'm leaving on a jet plane , don't know when I'll be back again



don't know why it had popped into my head just as I was closing my computer down.



Luckily the traffic soon began to move again and off we shot miles more of M25 looking less like the carpark of earlier. Onto the M1 by which time I was absolutely desperate for a leak. Have you ever tried to drive cross legged .........it isn't easy. Finally I arrived at my destination, not having got lost or taken a wrong turn this time and I hadn't even taken one of my map books..........all you men who think women can't read maps ..............I SO CAN!!!



I let myself into Vi's home having rung her to say I was almost there, she was putting her face on so I was greeted with a hug by the lovely BB (I am still getting used to the new name). I was presented with my first vodka of the evening as I had some catching up to do. stripping out of my clothes for a quick wash and swap my skirt for black jeans, I made my way down stairs in my leopard print heels (knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to walk to town and back in those). The girls loved the shoes. So after a bite to eat (delicious home cooking of course) we set out for the night.



No sooner had we left the house when we met a couple of Vi's neighbours also going out for the night. We all walked together or rather Vi and BB walked together and mr and mrs neighbour** walked with me as I struggled with my shoes (not the leopard print, my jeans kept getting caught in them. So being me and having to be different I ended up carrying my shoes and walking bare foot until we reached the first bar.

After several rounds of vodka and meeting some of her friends we moved onto the bar where the singing was fantastic, we danced the night away. I have not danced so much for more than 20 years. The local celebrity was also there and took a turn on the mike singing his signature tune and a couple of others.



I think we finally staggered back at about 12.30am and surprisingly I managed to walk the whole way with my shoes on so maybe I need to be drunk to wear these ones. So back at the house, more vodka, more chatting, a few revelations, discussions about how many men we have each slept with. A drunken joint post. As both BB and Vi read tarot we had some readings.

I expected this night out to involve drinking and chatting and possibly some flirting etc but what I didn't forsee was finding myself at 3am with something about 7" long and just the right diametre to fit comfortably in my hand as it vibrated from time to time and reacted when I squeezed or pressed the right places. who could have predicted that the three of us would be playing ten pin bowling on the wii just as the sky was turning to daylight and the birds were singing loudly. Both BB and I go the hang of this game fairly quickly which is more than can be said for mario cart where we would both spend ages bouncing from wall to post to wall and even falling into the sea at reglar intervals.








By about 5am I was just about managing to do a circuit on the actual track, but by about this time BB crashed out on the sofa beside me so Vi and I took this as our cue to crawl up the stairs to our beds at 5.30 considering I had been up since 5.40 on friday morning I am surprised I am awake now.



we all finally emerged late morning for more chat and a cooked brunch before setting off in different directions at about 2pm. Believe it or not I was not hung over and hadn't felt the slightest bit ill.



thank you Vi for inviting me again. It was lovely to get the chance to see both of you again.

** The male neighbour (my age) grew up in a village close to the Kent town where I grew up, we compared notes on the various pubs we knew as well as the discos that we had both been to (who knows he might even have been there the night I met my first love). He went to the all boys school while I was at the only mixed school in the town at that time. how weird would that have been if we had known each other as teenagers ......hmmmm there was something vaguely familiar about him but I don't think I did know him.

you can read Bollinger Byrd's version of the night here.

predictions

A couple of days ago I decided to do a tarot reading using the link on Pixie's blog. It has been many months since the last reading I did. I am not really all that clued up on the meanings of the cards but if this reading means anything like what I take it to mean then life will be looking up for me. see what you think and if you like you can tell me your predictions for me based on these cards.

Love, Lovers, Loving and all that jazz...

Present SituationWhere things are currently sitting.

Four of Pentaclesl...The picture on this card shows a dark haired woman dressed in a robe and a crown on her head. She holds three pentacles in front of her and one is above her crown. Behind her is a brick wall symbolising strength, protection and safety. The pentacles ofcourse represent her finances and how she manages them. She is shrewd, careful and very practical. She is securing her financial future and will soon be rewarded for her patience and endurance. If you are this woman you are about to finally achieve your goal of financial security and freedom. You will be able to protect yourself from the adversities of the past and gain total financial control of your life. You may also be able to teach what you have learnt to others.



Your World - Your FocusWhat surrounds you currently, how others view you, where you are both mentally and spiritually.

Four of Cups...The picture on this card shows a hand holding a cup and this is reaching out from a cloud and presenting the cup to a person who is surrounded by leaves and there is a hill in the background and many trees. There are three cups full of liquid in the foreground. This can represent an offer to be considered. Sometimes it can symbolise that the person is reluctant to accept any offers. However, the wise person should at least investigate what is being presented, rather than dismissing it without knowing all the facts. Something can arise out of the blue and be a surprise. If you happen to notice that your circumstances may alter quite significantly if you take up some new direction, then proceed with assurance that this is the right path for you at this point in time



Your Lovers World - Their FocusWhat surrounds your Lover currently, how others view them, where they are both mentally and spiritually.

Ace of Pentacles...This card shows a large pentacle in the middle which is symbolic of material wealth and abundance. If you should receive this card in your layout, and it is representative of a future event, then you will be surprised to learn that one of your greatest financial wishes is about to come true. This can bring financial stability to those who have never had it before in their life.



Nature of your Issues togetherEither past influences or current what surrounds you both.

King of Swords...Physically he is usually tall and relatively slim. Sometimes bearded and with piercing eyes, either blue or black. He sometimes gives an austere appearance. He may look like he doesn't smile too often. He may not age well and could tend to look rather weathered or older than he actually is, even at a young age. Mostly he would have dark hair. Conservative in attire most of the time. Serious manner in appearance and clothing. Personality: Can be abrasive, tactless and have a harsh attitude towards life and his efforts for survival. He may have fought various battles, personal or in times of war, that have left him feeling empty and scarred. He may even have a physical scar on his face or hands. He tends to treat people abrubtly, as if they annoy him just by their presence. He is serious and often secretive. Often, what he doesn't say, says it all. His look can condemn. He likes to be in charge and in control of his life and his environment. He is generally in business suits or a uniform of some type. He appreciates the discipline of keeping up appearances and likes his boots polished very well. He may actually collect old relics or swords as a hobby and enjoy cleaning and polishing them and putting them on display in his home. He is generally tidy by nature, methodical and despising clutter and useless items. He believes that life is meant to involve hard work and he would not like to be unemployed at any time, as he likes the structures of time and discipline in his well-ordered life. He would appreciate a good steak. He dislikes waste and frivolity. He has the gift of intelligence, commonsense and foresight. He likes to have well-defined plans and goals. He is a stickler for rules and doing his duty. He is a born leader. He appreciates time. He is capable of being the instructor. Occupations suited to him would be the head of a company or large organisation. Also he would make a great surgeon, doctor, police officer, dentist or anything that involves the use of sharp items or weapons. He would make a good soldier, warrior, fighter or leader of a revolution. His future lies in being more open to others if he is to feel fulfilled at the end of his life. He could fall in love again, or renew his vows with his wife if already married. He is faithful though observant of the beauty of women. He especially admires women of grace and good manners. He is as vulnerable as the next man, but rarely shows it. He will have a relationship if she shows enough direct interest in him. Querent's card. If this is you, now is the time to make a clean break with what you have been doing up until now. Sever the past and start anew. You can heed the challenge. You are brave and can face anything the future holds. Just say yes! If you are not the querent and this card appears, I suggest that you allow this person to be themselves. Do not stand in this man's way, he will rollercoaster over you without even noticing you were stood there in the first place. He can be the most sincerest friend, only after you have proven your friendship to him, never before.



Obstacles to overcomeAreas that need to be illuminated, places that need to be worked through.

Queen of Cups...The picture on this card shows a beautiful woman, dressed in a gown that could be a wedding dress. This is holding a cup between her hands as if she has just been given this by someone in front of her. She has lovely blonde hair that is braided and she wears pearl earrings and some pearls around her hair. She wears an elaborate head dressing and there is a large fan in the background. She is stood beside the ocean. If this is you, then you may be about to get married or even have your first child. You are sensitive and caring and very family orientated. You are immaculately well groomed and have great pride in your appearance. You could be about to achieve a position that is very dear to your heart. If this is not you, then someone you know already, or whom you are about to meet, who is described by this card is about to enter your life and make a huge impact on your lifestyle.



Lessons & Signs to watch forThe Divine Universal watch tower! Signs to signal their impending arrival, areas that need illuminating... only you will know that which needs to be seen.

Page of Cups...The picture on this card is of a youngish person, who is often male, though this can indicate a female. He is colourfully dressed and wears a hat and some plumage in it. He carries some red flowers, and a cup with a fish jumping about in it. He looks content and yet very innocent. He could be about to embark on a new career or had just graduated from college, university or from law school. He is clean shaven, either blue or black eyes and has lovely sleek hair. He loves to wear bright coloured clothing which reflects his warmth and compassion for others. If you draw this card and the person is yourself, you may discover some new career direction that will lead you towards prosperity. If it is someone else, they could become very important to you, either by becoming your new best friend, or your lover or husband/wife. This person is also highly sensitive and should therefore only mix with people who are positive and enthusiastic. There may also be some special occasion coming up where you have to put on your best threads.



Your Hopes, Fears, DesiresWhat is it that your soul really wants and needs.

The Devil...This could be the little devil who is prankish or disruptive in the classroom or with other playmates. However it can also be a strong and forceful element in a grown up that unleashes its tremendous energies at whoever stands in the way of his/her desires. This is considered a Trump card, and therefore contains many powers to be utilised as the needs or desires arise. Someone can be incredibly possessive and dominating around you if you pull this card out in your reading. Often they have a love/hate relationship with someone and it could be getting out of control. Someone is madly in love with or wants to control the actions of another and this should not be allowed to continue as it represents one persons victory at the cost of another's defeat, and to great distress for the one defeated. If you are trying to succeed in business it is likely that you will with this card as there is no stopping the determination and the will to succeed. Someone may be power hungry around you and their ambitions are stirred to such an extent that failure is inconceivable to them. Do not anger or irritate those who show the slightest signs of violence or hostilities, for to unleash the devil has no boundaries or limitations to the trail of devastation it can leave in its wake.



Your Lovers Hopes, Fears, Desires What is it that your lovers soul really thirsts for?

Ten of Wands...This card shows a man struggling with a heavy load. This may reflect some aspect of your life where you feel a little overwhelmed and unable to continue without a strong will and a determination not to fail. Your motives are of high standing and you only want what is best for everyone concerned. You will soon gain the feather in your cap and be able to move freely through life as if the coast is finally clear. Your objectives now need to be focussed on the long term solution to current problems, rather than just a band aid on the situation. Give yourself every effort to succeed and you surely will.



What Challenges your RelationshipAreas that require awareness and attention.

Queen of Wands...The picture on this card is of a woman wearing a crown and beautiful clothes and a robe, with a wand in one hand and a lovely golden sunflower in the other. There is an abundance of green leaves around the flower and the wand. She looks serene and calm. She is obviously a woman of considerable power and influence. She also appears warm and welcoming. She has lovely blonde hair and blue eyes. She displays an air of sophistication and strength. If you are this woman then you have truly found your destiny. If this is the woman you are about to become, then rest assured your future is secure and you will find all of your needs met. You may also be about to meet someone very special with whom you fall in love with and marry. This may develop during the warmer months of the year, as in Spring or Summer. If this is someone you know, then value her friendship, for she is loyal and trustworthy. If you are a male, you may meet this woman through a friend and become involved with her in a romantic relationship. If you are a young person, this person could be your mother or a teacher, or both.



The Final OutcomeThe Final Card, the outcome of it all, the future of your relationship.

Wheel of Fortune...This card is a delight to arrive in your reading. Not only can it bring about an unusual turn of events that are quite fortunate for you, but that you are finally taking the lead in the direction of your own life and your ultimate destiny. This card suggests not so much that events happen to you, but rather that you instigate many major changes to bring about a new life with new challenges and renewed hope. You may decide to leave a job, leave a partner, or go overseas and the decisions you make with regards to these will be so swift that you will shatter some people's impressions that you were once a stable and slow mover. Now all things must change, and change swiftly. If you should happen to win the lottery or some other good fortune befalls you, make sure you know exactly what you want to do with your new-found freedom, independence and wealth. The bolt out of the blue is likely to happen just when you thought you were in a rut and didn't anticipate anything was going to alter. Opportunities can arise thick and fast and leave you gasping for air between this offer and that. Don't allow anyone to push you into anything you are unsure of.