Still alive

Ok so I have not blogged for a while.

There have been a few times when I have thought...............I could blog about that. But by the time I get a chance the inspiration has gone.

There hasn't been much to blog about really. My work has been busy, Since March I have been attempting to keep up with as much work as I can which has seen me working through my lunch break a few times just to keep the pressure down a bit. The reason is that where a year ago there were three of us working together (in theory). Then since september it was reduced to two of us, since March my colleague has been covering another important post within the company (one which is vital to the running of the company). So for the last few months I have been trying to cope mostly on my own. (Business has also picked up a bit too). This has meant that I have been coming home exhausted. However things should be getting back to normal in the next few months with two new staff joining the office very soon.

I suppose I should update you on what happened after my last post.

SF arrived at my home with his friend and colleague from before he lost his licence 4 years ago. I chatted to GG for a few minutes as I hadn't seen him for a few years. SF is very lucky to have such a good friend who will turn out for him in times of need. (hmmm idea just sprung to mind GG now on his own since both kids have left home.........hmm perhaps should suggest this).

I offered SF a cuppa but he was ok he had his beer (a case of it) during the evening I chatted to him with our boys. He has been smoking since I filed for divorce, but agreed to smoke outside as this has always been a smoke free zone. It was fine while I was sat downstairs with SF and ET. I reiterated that it would only be one night.

It was after I went to bed that it got worse for me. ET had also gone to bed shortly after me, I heard the stairs and landing creaking, I heard SF's voice outside my door, he was speaking to JA & ET. I lay awake until gone 2am listening to every noise worrying that my door would open. The memories of those 7 months of hell while he still lived in the house during our divorce came flooding back. The fears and feelings I had during that time had returned. There is no way in this world I could have another night like that. In the morning I got ready for work as I was leaving I woke JA telling him to ake his father a cuppa and get him to leave when he went to school. I was not impressed that the whole house stank of cigarette smoke and he had used one of my candle dishes as an ashtray. At work I worried that he wouldn't go. I phoned OJ (he had been out the previous night) repeatedly until he assured me at 9am that his dad had gone. Two days later he phoned me to ask if he could sleep on my sofa again. I said NO and he accepted that and to my relief hasn't bothered me since.

That same night I had also told Plumber online that it was time he started being honest with me. Of course he had no idea what I was talking about. But because SF arrived while we were talking we couldn't have a proper conversation that night. A couple of nights later we had a heated conversation about his lies. He has now admitted that he does live at home some of the time but they have seperate rooms. Hes still not being totally honest but its a start and he now knows that I will not stand for bare faced lies. Our relationship if you can call it that has become stronger. Over recent weeks he has said that he thinks I deserve a better life and if he could he would give it to me but current circumstances mean he can't at present. He says that he won't stop me seeing others and hopes I wont stop him but he won't go out of his way to see other women .......I satisfy all his needs. (whatever he means by that).

Plumber knows I have been seeing Sailor (who also knows about Plumber). They are both happy to share me but don't want me to be hurt or damaged. A few times there have been half arrangements for the three of us to go sailing together. But on the day things didn't work out. I have now been out in the harbour with Sailor on his boat a couple of times, once just using the engine then on Monday after work we spent a couple of hours sailing while the weather was good. I really enjoyed that and hope to go again this weekend. Plumber is very jealous (of us sailing).

Tuesday evening I had a posh frock evening (thank heavens for ebay) I wore a purple dress
with silver heels ..........my mum calls them y 'Dorothy slippers'. It was the Rotary club President's night. Very different to previous ones I had been to. This was at a pub on the A32 that I have passed many times but not taken much notice of because it does not look inviting from outside. It turns out to be a restaurant that has tribute acts performing a caberate on a small stage. The room we were in had a very strange mix of traditional countryside prints including a Roebuck, and theatrical ornamentation. There was a chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. The place is run by a couple of men who had been in the theatre in their past. One of them apparently was one of the countries leading pantomime Dames.

So now you know what has been going on in my life in the last 5 or 6 weeks.

A very long day

After my late night drinking tea with Plumber I really needed to get an early night on Saturday but that wasn't to be. I had gone to bed and was just about to turn off my laptop when Plumber came online. We discussed where I would leave my car while I was off on my travels. I was meeting my colleague Cathy at my local rail station at 7am. (I must be mad!!). I had planned to park in a street not far from the station but Plumber was sure the station car park would be free on a Sunday. By the time we had finished chatting and I had checked out the car park situation it was gone 1am. Not clever considering I needed to be getting up at 5am.

When I arrived at the station at 6.45am Cathy was already there. Her first comment was that we were both wearing purple and black, my black trouser suit, purple blouse and accessories and her black and purple dress. Little did we know that when we eventually joined Boss Lady at the exhibition stand she would also be in black suit and purple patterned blouse.

We made good time arriving at the NEC at 9am but still had a long slow drive snaking along the road between the many car parks until we were directed to a parking space. We then climbed on board a bus (I was going to say jumped on but that would give an impression of fitness that isn't there). Hanging on for dear life as the bus swung us this way and that (it was standing room only when we got on). We were deposited outside the main entrance to one set of halls (luckily our hall was close by). A few minutes later we were checking out the floor plan to see where we should be. After 10 minutes of walking around in circles we were back checking the plan again. It still took a while searching before we found our stand.

I enjoyed the day talking to both current and prospective customers as well as meeting suppliers. (Thats something I don't normally get involved with as I am on the sales side of the business). It was very different meeting people face to face instead of speaking on the phone. Being cheeky and familiar with men I have never met before was fun as was showing off my memory for names etc.

The plan had been for me to catch the train home at 15.14 but it soon became apparent that that wasn't going to happen. In stead I set off for the station at 16.00 my poor feet hurting with every step made progress slow, it didn't help that I had no idea how far it was to the station, its all very well looking at a map.

On arriving at the station I rumaged in my bag for my ticket before looking at the board to find my train. Looking at the arrivals board there was no sign of my train. Not suprising really as the clock was now showing 16.15 damn missed it !!! I found a seat and prepared to wait for the next train in another hour. I made my way gingerly on still painful feet down the steps to the platform at 17.00 giving myself 14 minutes of agony standing waiting for the train.

It was with short lived relief that I saw the train pulling into the station. The carriage closest to me was packed, people were piling into the corridor. Walking down the platform I found that each carriage and corridor were the same. I had no choice but to stand in the very last corridor taking up the last standing position. With my feet screaming silently objecting to this further punishment. At least it should be ok once we reach Coventry and other passengers get off.

Coventry came and went yes passengers left the train only to be replaced by others, Leamington Spa was the same, Oxford and Banbury too. Finally after standing for an hour I managed to get a seat when we reached Reading. Squashed into the seat with more people standing in the aisles it was not much more comfortable but at least I could take the weight of my feet at last.

When I booked my ticket I knew that I would have to change at Southampton but it didn't say which of the two stations it was stopping at I needed to change. I chose to get off at the first of the two and yes according to the timetable there would be a train going to my home town in half an hour. It was by now 19.40 my train was due at 20.11. it would be more comfortable to sit in the waiting room. It was until the announcement that the waiting room was closing at 8pm.

Back on the cold dark platform I examined the timetable again as the trains being announced didn't seem to be going in the right direction. According to the lists of times and stations the train at 20.11 would call at my staion but the train that was due then was going in the opposite direction. I crossed to the other platform to await the next train going to Southampton central. Once I arrived there I looked for the next train home, I found the time but not the platform. I settled on a bench to wait, calling DC for a chat. I then checked again for my train discovering that I was on the wrong platform..........I reached the correct platform where my train was waiting, pressed the burron to open the door only to find that the train pulled away without me!

Ok so there would be another in 20 mins and at east now I was at the right station on the right platform! My phone rang unexpectedly, I assumed it would be a family member but it was LV. I told him where I was. He said that if he had known he would have given me a lift home. Isn't he a lovely friend. We had just finished chatting when my train arrived.

I finally arrived home at 21.37 after a very long and tiring yet enjoyable day. I am glad I went but next time I think I will drive myself, it will be quicker and less tiring than going by train.

not an old boiler

I have just had a good week

Not an exceptional week but a fairly decent one. On Tuesday I had a call from Spark he was placing an order but will only speak to me so instead of calling the office he calls my mobile. Not that I mind much. Because of the nature of his business he tends to collect his orders rather than have them delivered. But this time it was going to be difficult so he asked if I would be able to meet him to deliver his goods. As our journeys home from work took us in opposite directions along the same road.

So on Tuesday after work I drove over the hill to the Gladstonian where I parked next to spark's car. No sooner was I out of the car than he was kissing me. I broke out of his embrace and suggested we transfer the parcels from my car to his. He asked if we could sit in my car for a bit.
After a little more kissing Spark told me that he has thought about me a lot. He asked if I had been thinking about him and did I ever think we might meet up again.

'no not really..............you are not available and I am worth more than a quick fumble in a car'.

I think that suprised him. Although he did agree with me quite emphatically about being worth more. We talked and kissed for a while before going our seperate ways.

On wednesday late afternoon I found some money that someone had dropped. It was quite a bit of money and I could really do with it at this time. It would be really helpful a I don't get paid until next friday. I was telling Plumber about it later and he said

'I hope you kept it......but knowing you, you did the honest thing and handed it in.'

of course he was right, I did hand it in. Although it was very tempting I know I would be devastated if I had lost that amount of money and it didn't get handed in, besides I believe in Karma. It also felt good to be doing the right thing.

During my chat with Plumber I told him that I was meant to be going out on Saturday evening with a friend but I might have to tell her I couldn't afford it. I told him which pub in the city we were going to. I know that the band he roadie's for play there sometimes. But he told me we should go to their gig at a more local pub (in the village where my friend now lives) on friday. He even said he would give me money for drinks.

Work has been good too.....the volume of work coming in is not high but I have been able to make progress with a few of my projects. There is also a trade show at the Birmingham NEC very soon which my boss will be attending with a trade stand for several days. I shall be there on the Sunday which will be good experience for me and good for my networking. I have a choice now....do I drive there and back on the Sunday knowing that I will have to be in the office working on the Monday. Or get a lift there and train home (2 1/2 hrs drive or 3 1/2 hrs by train).

I was telling Forest about going up to the show, he thought I meant this Sunday, which would put paid to his plan to invite me round for some fun this sunday evening. After clearing up that bit of confusion I said I would consider it and let him know.

Friday evening arrived my friend picked me up and took me back to her place from where we walked to the pub which was already buzzing. A double rum and coke or two later when the band had begun playing I turned around and found one of my neighbours stood behind me. We chatted for a few minutes, our sons are friends. It occurred to me that I might be able to get a lift home with him. However he only stayed for the first set so that was no good. In the end I asked Plumber if he knew anyone who could give me a lift otherwise I would have to order a taxi. Plumber said that he could take me but I would have to wait for him to load up the van drive it to the drummer's house not far away and come back with his car.

His mate who has been over from his new home in a warmer european country (staying with him) offered to wait with me. He was very friendly and told me all about the lifestyle where he now lives. He did say 'so you know plumber then'. I was very vague just saying 'yes we are friends'. Fortunately our transport arrived just then. I climbed in the back and Plumber drove me home. On arrival he walked me to my back door (out of sight of his car) where he kissed me, told me that his mate doesn't know he is seperated. Noticed the state of my garden fence (which we had discussed at the time it came down a few months ago). He also said that he hoped I would be able to go to he party they were having on Saturday night.

I was feeling hungry when I got in so made a pasta snack but used too much water so it was too sloppy but at 1am I wasn't going to make anything else. To my suprise when I turned on my laptop Forest was there saying 'hello drunk' . I had warned him earlier that I was going out drinking. ( he isn't a night owl like me). I am afriad I fell asleep chatting to him. when I woke up half an hour later he had said good night so had Plumber who had also tried to chat to me.

Whilst at my mother's on saturday afternoon ET called to say there was a problem with our boiler, he had put more gas on but couldn't get the boiler to fire up. I went home to sort it out only to discover that it has lost pressure and needs to be re-pressurised. Fine! we followed all te instructions, locate flexible filler loop. That was the problem we couldn't find one. We checked online, I called Plumber and LV for help. Plumber was very good spending ages trying to help me on the phone but wasn't available to come round. He was setting up the gear for the night's gig in a village a little way off. (I told him I wasn't going after all as my friend couldn't get a babysitter). If I couldn't get it sorted he would call round on sunday to fix it for me.

I called LV who also spent ages on the phone trying to find the solution. Between all of us we conclude that the 'flexible filling loop' has been hard fitted, but I couldn't get it to do anything. So here I am on sunday morning feeling cold and unwashed. Waiting for a suitable time to request a visit from Plumber.





Plumber has been and took all of a minute to fix the problem :)

A good day gets better

Today has been a good day.

It started out a bit damp, a little drizzle with a promise of more. It didn't bother me as I already knew it was going to be a good day. Or perhaps I should say that I had high hopes for a good day.

By the time I reached the office the clouds had parted and the sun was trying to show itself.

As soon as I walked into the office I knew it was going to be not only a good day but a good week with more to follow. I do feel sorry that she was now facing that awful situation, would now become one of the growing number of unemployed. But for those of us left behind you could almost feel the collective sigh of relief as everyone realised that the desk opposite mine was vacant. The personal objects nolonger there, a presence almost forgotten already. My suspicions of last night confirmed. My last dream before waking had been this but my fear had been that I was wrong.

Eleven months ago she had come to work with me, for the first couple of weeks we thought it would work out well, but it wasn't long before we knew otherwise. I was dumbfounded that even the simplest of things seemed to be beyond her comprehension. But it was thought that with time she would eventually get to grips with what she was doing. But six months on I was cringing at some of the things I would hear her telling our customers on the phone. Her moods were incredible, she has so many chips on her shoulder it was unbelievable, but occassionally she would snap out of them and become friendly for a few days. Our work load has deminished in recent months leaving her sitting twiddling her thumbs or surfing the net. Whilst I had enough initiative to keep myself busy working on projects to improve customer accounts.

Now I won't have as much time to work on my own projects but those of us left behind can cope with the work load as it is. In a much improved cheerful atmosphere (I also get to have my lunch earlier).

Talking of lunch................ whilst my computer was warming up I sent a text naming a pub and the time frame I could be there. Minutes later my phone rang unexpectedly, the venue and time quickly agreed. For the rest of the morning I happily got stuck into my work, cheerily greeting phone calls from customers in my usual manner. Then at 12.30 I left the building and drove the mile or so to the pub. I had never been there before, neither had I met him before. I had no idea what to expect. I saw his vehicle straight away and parked up next to him in the now hot sunhine. He bought our drinks (both on diet coke) which we took out into the garden to sit in the shade of a cherry tree. We chatted amiably about work and about ourselves. A quick sandwich to keep the hunger pangs at bay. All too soon it was time for me to return to work. As we stood beside my car he kissed me goodbye which took me by suprise, but not as much as the next kiss or the one after that. I liked this but mindful of the time protested that I really should go. He didn't want to stop kissing me. He asked to see me again, I passed him the envelope from my passenger seat.

A couple of text during the afternoon confirmed that we had both enjoyed our lunch. I am hoping that he will find more products in the catalogue I had given him that he could use for his business, I have already increased the lines of products he buys but would just love to get more. Days like today are why I love my job so much, but I did find it difficult to keep my concentration for the rest of the day. Not that I will be letting him know that. He is after all a customer (one who wanted to meet his favourite sales lady, to meet the woman with the lovely voice). .....................this sounds familiar

Killed by BT

The last few days have been a bit of a challenge and I do like a good challenge don't you?

For the last few days we have been two people down in our sales team. This might not sound much but when there are only five of us in the first place that is 40% of our team. It has been hard work but I have enjoyed it. We have been busy but the atmosphere has been good.

Each time I walk towards my house at the end of the day I find myself looking at the cherry tree in my front garden. It was a fully grown tree that had already been cut back before we moved here 12 years ago. Two years ago before I returned to work my mum paid a passing tree surgeon to cut back my tree and the hedge behind it. I was a little worried that my tree would suffer but although not as good as previous years we did have blossom. Then in December 2007 we had problems with our telephone line. BT announced that the problem was the roots of the hedge attacking the underground cable. They dug a trench across my garden so they could bury a new cable within a plastic pipe. Eventually our telephone line was restored.

Last year I noticed that we only had a few leaves on our tree, I was hoping that it was just a temporary set back and this year would be better. Now at the end of March I have noticed that whilst everything else has new shoots, buds and young leaves, my tree has nothing. It is obvious that my tree has not survived the trauma of being attacked by BT. They must have cut through the roots. Now I need to decide what to do about my naked dying tree.

I have also decided that this year I am going to clear my back garden of not just the rubbish that is slowly dwindling but also the brambles and nettles. Once the ground is clear I want to dig up all the grass and lay paving slabs. I have not come by this decision lightly. True it will remove the need to mow the lawn which I find difficult to persuade my boys to do although I feel it shouldn't be a problem for them. But my main reason is that with my house being a mid terrace we are shaded on both sides so that the ground does not get much sun. This means that we need at least a week of dry weather before we can cut the grass. If I don't have the time before it rains we have to wait until the next time we have at least a week of good weather. Last summer I only managed to cut the grass two times instead of at least once every two weeks. Without the shade of my cherry tree my front lawn should dry out quicker if not next year it will get the same treatment.

I don't suppose

I was thinking about my third date and what to tell you. But I don't suppose you really want to know about that so I thought I had better tell you about something else instead. But what do you want to hear about?

Do you want to hear about my mum going to see yet another specialist to try to get to the bottom of her problems with walking now that her knee is fixed. Although her knee is now working she still has problems with the foot of that leg, but then she was dragging that foot for years before the knee problems. I personally think it all has something to do with her Multiple Sclerosis. The next specialist is a neurologist.

I don't suppose you want to know about my aging grandmother who aged 90 still lives alone in a village in The Cotswolds and still drives short distances. she has been getting phonecalls from people she doesn't know and she is getting confused because she thinks they want her to sell something but she doesn't know what. My mum has made her promise not to let anyone into the house without getting her neighbour to be with her first. My aunt lives in Berlin, so whilst both my mum and my dad's cousin in London are the two relatives who worry the most about my grandmother I am the nearest next of kin. So between the three of us we are going to try to set up an emergency strategy for my grandmother in the absence of her only living child.

Work was very hectic today, the lemon chewer went home sick leaving me to cope on my own. I quite enjoy that as I relish the challenge even if I did go without a lunch break. I found out today that Paulo and his family are going to be giving up their business in a year's time. That will be such a pity, not only because we will all miss them as people but also it is a very good account and growing. That will all change now but at least I know I will still be in contact with him if I wish.

I don't think I told you that we had some changes in our office and now I am no longer directly responsible for Scotland, but I am now the official office contact for half the Sales Mangers and Agents. I have set myself a huge project so discover which accounts could be made more profitable and getting my Sales Reps to do more work.

Oh and of course there are still three men in my life right now plus one or two who would like to be.

Busy

It has been busy at work this week, well not really busy it has been quite quiet as it is the last week of the month. But there is still lots to do catching up on the things we can't do the first three weeks of the month. I have found it particularly tough this week because I am still babysitting our newest colleague. She is making progress but it does still mean that I have to check her work as well as doiing mine. Our boss is away at Trade Show and yesterday BG was off sick and Bob is busy tying up loose ends clearing his desk ready for a weeek off work.

I have been so tired by the end of the day that it has been as much as I can manage to read a few blogs each night let alone write a post.

Yesterday I was so tired driving home that I could hardly stay awake which was scary. When I got home I lay down and slept until 8pm. When I woke up ET and OJ were standing over me, they had brought me a plate of sausages and the two end bits from a garlic bread stick. Before I woke up I was having a very vivid dream.

I had to drive overnight to see Rae where I would collect among other people SF's best friend from when I first met them (it was really the best friend I fancied not SF). Trixie and one or two others but I don't know who. I dropped Trixie off at her place then SF's friend at his place in Kent before going home in time to get to work. But I seemed to be worried about having such a short nap before I began my journey and I was wasting valuable sleeping time trying to work out how I was going to keep myself awake to drive so far during the night after a long day at work. How was I going to stay awake at work next day.

Obviously this dream was because I was so tired during my drive home from work. Although work has been tiring today I wasn't as bone tired as yesterday but I am still planning to have a well earned early night for a change.

I have not managed to get around to all my favourite blogs and those I have read I have not commented on all of them.

Some days are just weird

Having jumped back into bed for that last 15 minutes snuggled under my duvet before the alarm went off, I really shouldn't be suprised that I slept through the alarm. Finally emerging from my slumber my eyes focussed on the clock that was telling me it was almost 7am. OMG I overslept again, quickly trying to gauge the weather, working out what to wear to the office today. Whilst I am rushing o get myself ready the teens pass my door asking why I didn't wake them they are now having to rush to get to the train......simple I didn't wake them because I hadn't woken myself and how come they expected me to wake them I only wake the baby monster, it just so happens that the teens share a room with the monster.

Travelling to work it is as though everyne is on a go slow today. Most annoying I seem to always get stuck behind the obstinate driver who won't go faster than slow but won't move over to the slow lane either. I get stuck in a queue of traffic doing 40mph on the slip road to exit the dual carriageway. I am normally doing nearer to 80 on that stretch.

Work is strange today. I really should have stayed in bed. First off Bob's compuer won't turn on so he is going to sit opposite me as there is a spare computer now that NL is nolonger with us. That computer takes an age to loadup. Mine is also taking forever (nothing unusual there it takes a good 10 to 12 minutes each morning). But I keep getting error messages, I reboot, but still get nowhere it seems that my computer is not connected to the server. We are playing a game of find the computer tht works. One of the ones in accounts has recently been repaired but doesn't yet have the company database reloaded. This week I have had 3 different people use the computer opposite me. It has been like musical chairs.

So we turn my computer off and I dive under my desk on my hands and knees checking that everything under the desk is plugged in and or conneced properly. I don't find anything that is loose but I seem to have done the trick as now my computer is working. considering I start at 8am I didn't get my computer system running properly until 8.35am grrrrr all that wasted time.

Add to this the agravation of a printer that has been getting increasingly troublesome. Printing the orders off becomes a night mare as the pges become creased and then the ink become smeared finally resulting in the paper concertina'd. We managed to redirect to another printer but it still took a while to reprint what had already been done.

Having recovered from these computer/printer problems my morning then gets disturbed by a glazier arriving to replace sealed units in the windows. He starts with the window just behind my head. He has to struggle to get the original units out as they are stuck fast. He talks of it being easier to take a hammer to the pannels. My first reaction is that he must warn me if he is going to do that so I can move out of the way. I then remember that my car is parked below my window. It doesn't come to that in the end, but his banging on the windows causes the spanish guy next door ( I forget what name I gave him) starts banging on the wall because the noise is disturbing him. By the way I have to say that although we are one person short work feels so much more relaxed this week now that the stress of having NL there has been lifted. Or perhaps that is down to the flirting that has been going on between me and Paulo. I spoke to him a couple of times today and exchanged a few hot text too.

The funniest thing was when he phoned me just before he shut up shop for the day. He apparently closes early on a Friday allowing his staff to go home at 3.30pm. He was telling me what he was doing to me in his imagination, just at that moment Bob was stood right by my desk as he was moving the desks into the middle of the room, (we have decorators in over the weekend). Being mischevious I told Paulo that I had his call on speaker phone. How bad would that have been not just because of what he was saying but he has a distinctive voice so anyone in sales who heard it would have known who it was, he is popular among the sales team.

Thinking of strange things, when Paulo was chatting to me the other afternoon as I drove home his phone battery was about to run out, he got cut off but then rang me back, oddly his battery was showing as fully charged when he rang back and he had no more problems with it. This morning he tried to pay his takings into an ATM but they were all out of order. when he got to his shop there was no power, he was trying to find out what was wrong (he doesn't know what he was doing as he doesn't have a clue about electricity.) Suddenly the electricity came back on, but he discovered that the whole area had lost its power and his shop was the only place with power back on at that time 7.30am. It was when he said it was 7.30 that I remembered that that was the time I got a 'good morning sexy x ' text. He said yes he had given up on the power and text me then the power came back on. How weird is that?

After the furniture had been moved and all that wasn't being used was covered by dust sheets it did look odd trying to work from the middle of the room surrounded by plastic sheeting, the vertical blinds were removed from the windows. This meant that I had the sun shining directly on not just my back making me very hot but also right across my monitor so I couldn't see anything on the screen. My cue to leave earlier than normal.

As far as Paulo goes I have decided that I am enjoying the flirting but thats as far as it will go, he is lovely and I am more than a little flattered but he is not for me and to do any more than flirt would be out of the question for me. My heart is with Romeo and to do more than flirt with Paulo is not worth the heartache it would cause me. Even if I thought I could get away with having a fling and Romeo wouldn't know, I couldn't do it. I trust Romeo to be faithful to me so I need to stay faithful to him. I am enjoying what is going on with Paulo but at the end of the day it is still Romeo that I want. I have to keep faith in him. Things might not be quite as I would wish with him right now but you can't choose who to fall in love with.

I'm going

LiR

yes?

what time are you going home?

when I get kicked out

get out then you are being kicked out now

but it's only 4.10pm

yes and you have still been here at 5pm every night for weeks

ok I'm just going to finish this and I'm emailing myself

some work to keep you happy over the weekend?

yes

Lol................go on get out of here.......go home LiR

For some reason my boss and PB both have a habit of telling me to go home.

It was 4.35 by the time I left, I have as you can guess brought some work home with me. I want to set up some spreadsheets to make my new responsibilities easier to manage. As I am not likely to find the time to do this at work. As it is I have left a stack of work on my desk that I just have not had the time to do. I find it very difficult to walk away when there is still work to do. I have never been one of these people who is out the door the minute the clock reaches 4.30 or whatever time they finish work, unless I have a bus/train to catch or an appointment somewhere.

This has been a hard week for me, trying to keep on top of the increased volume that we have at the start of each month, more or less coping with the phones on my own (BG has been working on a seperate project all week). Although to give him his due the new lad has been very eager to answer the phone. It would help though if he could find out the relevant information, but it seems he is having trouble just getting the name of the company right. I have threatened to give him a crib sheet to work from when he answers the phone. (the post it note I stuck on his phone doesn't seem to be working).

Is it just me? am I so unusual in that when I am learning something new I tend to make notes that I follow until I am sure of the procedures.

New Lad doesn't make notes.......

It isn't my responsibility to train New Lad, however as I am the one he is working with and he sits opposite me whereas Bob who is training him (he was also meant to train me) is in a seperate office, it does seem to be me who is bearing the brunt of this training period. NL certainly gets 10/10 for being keen. I have my reservations though. I personally feel that he is trying to run before he can walk. He wants to be able to do the whole job straight away. I did dare to suggest to both NL and Bob that he is trying to learn too much at once. This was shot down in flames by both of them saying the best way to learn is to do the job. (lol I am a total advocate of that way of thinking). But from my side of the desk all I can see is that he is getting information overload and isn't making progress because he isn't taking it in properly.

Where he is helping by answering the phone he is causing me more work because I then have to decipher the half baked information, work out what it was about and who the customer was (Derek from Liverpool just isn't quite enough to go on). Then explain to him how to deal with it. I have given up worrying about giving him step by step instructions each and every time. I just let him deal with it but ask periodically if he is ok does he need help.

I can't quite decide whether he is just full of youthful enthusiasm or if it is just plain arrogance, thinking he will be able to do everything in just a week. Within days he has alienated the warehouse manager and some of the warehouse staff.

I have not blogged much this week partly because the internet was playing up but also because I have been so tired, I have not been this tired since the first month or so when I started to learn this job. But one thing this last week has shown me is just how much I have learnt in the last 6 months, there are still things I don't know and have not been shown yet, I still ask lots of questions, but I have become quite confident in what I am doing can even talk about some of the products with some semblance of authority.

On a slightly different subject (but not entirely different), DC learnt yesterday that he is on the list of employees at risk of being made redundant in a couple of months. On the other hand OJ has finally done something about finding employment during the summer and possibly beyond that in a part time position. He has passed the telephone interview for a local telephone banking institution. He was offered a slot in a selection process on 17th July but declined as it is the last day of term and he doesn't want to spoil his 100% record of attendance.

JA had sports day today he took part in Yr 7 (hes still one of the babies of the school) Javelin competition in which he came 3rd. His other discipline was High Jump in which he finished 4th. I am of course very proud of my baby. It does seem strange that he is now the only one of my boys still attending school.

This morning as I was trying to get to work I was stuck behind a paper boy on his bike waiting to turn right onto the main road, I wanted to go left but couldn't because instead of being in the middle of the road he was right in front of me. Obviously he hasn't learn how to position himself in the road for a right turn. I decided that his mother should tell him about this to prevent further agravation. But as my day progressed all thoughts of paperboys deminished until that is I heard.

'mummy was getting annoyed with me this morning when I was on my paper round'

Out of the way it's an emergency

Why is it that in a building the size of the warehouse where I work the Ladies washroom is so far away. All the offices are on the first floor. I say first floor but it is higher than the average first floor. the Ladies washroom is not only on the ground floor but at the far end of a corridor.

I assume that there must be washrooms somewhere in the warehouse itself for the people who work there, but I wouldn't know where to look.

Today was rather manic, with having to get all the orders placed before I arrived at work on the system before 10 am when the new price increases were due to take effect. Being the first of the month we always have an increase in orders anyway. However despite this for various reasons I felt as though I was running the sales office alone. Bob was there helping out at the start and end of the day but BG was working on a special project, this left myself and a new lad. Being his 3rd day in the job no one could excpect him to take orders over the phone or deal with the other day to day things. But all credit to him he could see that there was too much for me to do alone so he did his best to help. I have been showing him how to do some of the easier tasks. It is not my job to train him but as we sit opposite each other it is easier for him to ask me questions. So today I ahve been trying to do two peoples work and train 'The Lad'. there were times when I had no idea what I was doing as I seemed to be in the middle of half a dozen things at once plus answering The Lad's questions.

By the afternoon I was just bursting to get to the ladies but I had a couple of urgent orders that had to go to the warehouse plus I had to find a sample to post off. I knew I didn't have a lot of time to get the urgent order downstairs to WM, so I did this as quickly as I could. But on the way back I just knew it was getting urgent that I got to the ladies. First I had to make my way from one end of the warehouse to the other then up the stairs (in effect two flights) walk through the office. As I passed our desks The Lad was saying 'just the person' I had to tell him to wait as I burst through the door and fair flew down the corridor much to the amusement of the receptionist of the building before I could go down the other double flight of stairs and race along the corridor. Bursting into the nearest cubicle, trying to keep my legs crossed as I hauled up my skirt and fumbled with my lacey briefs........why can I never get them down quick enough in an emergency?

ahhhhh what a relief when I finally managed to flop down onto the seat.

By the time I got back up the stairs to my desk both the landline and the sales office mobile were ringing, there I was apologising for doing deep breathing down the phone. Only to be told not to worry, keep breathing deeply and I shall have to phone up more often.

At 4.58pm the phone rings (one of our regular customers who just like LV likes to place at least one order every week).

'Is it too late to place an order what time do you finish for the day?'

'4.30, yes I know its almost 5'

We made an agreement that he will phone again at 8am tomorrow, as I was just tidying my desk to go home The Lad went out the door. It wasn't until he had gone that I realised there was work all over his desk so I spent the next 20 minutes sorting it out so that the warehouse staff have some orders to collect first thing before we arrive. I finally left work at 5.25 having been there since 7.45.

So now I am shattered and its time to play being Mum's taxi again.

does anyone else have such a problem where they work?

Careful what you wish for

Yesterday I was talking about my wish to travel, but I had no idea what was in store for me.



The last few weeks at work have been very busy. Boss Lady has been away on holiday and as is the usual way with these things this week (now that she has returned) so far is quite a bit quieter. It means we get a bit of breathing space to catch up with all the things we have been too busy to do.



Whilst she has been away a couple of things have been happening, things that those of us who work in the sales office have either been unaware of or not informed about. It became apparent to the powers that be, that we need at least one other member of staff so that we can fullfil all the duties of our department. PB interviewed a few candidates but we got no feed back about any of them. Yesterday some of them were back for second interviews. I was just saying to BG that we probably won't know who is joining us until their first day, when Boss Lady came over to us with 'an intriguing announcement'.



If either of us are able to sell any of the end of line paint brushes that are on offer at the moment we get 10% commission on them. They have been talking for months about finding a way to give us either a bonus or commission on our sales but there is no foolproof way of telling which of us has earnt it. (I made my first sale of these particular brushes today) wooooohoooo me ;-)



Before she went home last night Boss Lady told me that between interviews and meetings today she wanted to have a talk with me.



'nothing serious, but I want to push you in a slightly different direction, I know you are capable of doing it'.



So last night I was puzzling this over. Either I was being pushed into specialising in Customer Services..........There were several comments yesterday about me doing my 'Customer Services bit'. (going above and beyond what is expected of me to make sure that our customers get a good service and or doing what I can to put things right when there are problems). Or I was going to get a more active Sales role. I did wonder if this might mean going out on the road to look after the customers in our local area, Bob has been doing this in the last few months.



I wasn't particularly worried just curious what this mystery was all about. I was not prepared for what happened this morning.



When I arrived at 7.45am an interview was just coming to an end. I just got on with my work, Boss Lady made the early morning tea then asked me to join her in the boardroom with our drinks.



The upshot of it is that I ahve been offered the opportunity to take on my own area. One of our Agents who work out on the road serving customers in their own area has resigned and the area has been offered to me as my own customers to look after. For the moment this will be done entirely from the office. I will still be looking after the customers who place their orders directly with the office (so no need to panic LV) but I shall have full control of all the customers who have always gone through their Rep for this area.



I expect you are wondering which part of the UK I have. Could it be South West England? South East, Wales London, East Anglia, Midlands, North East, North West or Scotland? I will tell you in a moment.



I was also given an envelope containing this letter.



Dear LiR



In recognition of your hard work and enthusiasm, it is my pleasure to advise you that with effect from 1 July 2008 your salary will be increased to .................



Your efforts have been noticed and appreciated - keep up the good work!



Yours Sincerely

Boss Lady

Sales Manager



It isn't a huge pay increase but it is appreciated especially as I didn't need to ask for it.



At the moment none of this is common knowledge. (well the pay rise won't be anyway). I have felt like I have a silly grin on my face all day (nothing unusual there then). One thing Boss Lady said to me at the end of our talk was that I am the one person in her team she would not want to lose. I have only been doing this work for 6 months but have already proved my value. If there were three of us like me then my boss says she would have no worries.



Do you think my bum will look big in this?

Monday 18th June 2007 join Company as part time data input clerk for 3 months to cover maternity leave.

Tuesday 17th June 2008 offered position responsible for all accounts in Scotland

working girl

It came as a surprise to me but I won again !!

For those of you who don't know, every wednesday dj does a post, wordless wednesday, which is just a picture, then invites all her readers to leave a caption for the picture in her comments box. It always pleases me to be the first to leave a comment but I never expect mine to be the best. so I was not expecting to win the prized button this week. I already have the green version in my side bar although now I cannot even remember which picture or caption that was for. (It was quite a long time ago). so even though this week's coveted prize was the green button I took the liberty of scrolling back through dj's blog to find the orange version. Thank you dj for choosing me.

here is the picture dj posted this week.

What would your caption be? to see mine go here

It has been busier than usual this week at work. Not only has the volume of work been greater but the staffing level has been lower in that my boss has been away on holiday. MD has now decided that we need another person to join our team. He has instructed Posh Bird aka PB to

'find another LiR'

which I am taking as a compliment. Today we had a slightly lower volume of work which is just as well as we were down to the bare minimum of staff. Bob was off sick and as BG only works part time this meant that I was on my own with 4 phones a fax machine and email for 3 hours. (I did get an email asking if I was lonely). It wasn't too bad when there were other staff in the accounts dept who could take messages but by 3.30 there were only 2 of us in the whole office apart from the directors shut away in their office, not accepting calls!! (one downside of my job is that the majority of calls come through the sales phone line, which means that we effectivly become the switchboard for the rest of the office). At one point I had a growing stack of messages to call people back whilst I was taking a long and complicated order. In the short term I enjoy the challenge but wouldn't be able to cope with this in the long term.

This evening I have been chatting to Lotto, we have agreed that we won't meet up next week. He didn't say so but I think he is sulking now. I told him that I don't want to risk ruining what I have with Romeo. Lotto tries to understand how I feel but doesn't think I have anything to risk as I have not met Romeo. But to me it feels like so much more than just two people who have never met. Lotto has this thing he does when we are chatting. He has a habit of asking me what I wore for work. Today it was a black pinstripe skirt and a pink blouse. He then asks about my underwear before asking whether I wore tights, stockings or bare legs. At this time of year I have bare legs. but between October and the start of May i tend to wear mostly stockings. I find tights uncomfortable most of the time, besides stockings make me feel sexy which in turn makes me feel good.

My tax disc finally arrived today.

change of name maybe

I am thinking of changing my name to

Giggling lady

or

Blushing lady

As you know a large part of my work involves talking on the phone. Here is a small sample of a few of today's calls.

Hi this is Andy from *****

crumbs does Raj know you are phoning, he didn't believe you had placed an order before

lol, well he does now, do you treat Raj the same way you do me?

yes ........giggle giggle

can I ask you to check something for me

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh maaaaybeeeeeeee ........giggle

how long can you keep that up

how long do you want me to?

ummmmm I think I will ring back when theres no one around

then there was this call

good morning LiR I am hoping you will say yes

ummm I never say yes........giggle

well mabye sometimes

have I made you blush?

maybe.........giggle

do you have such a thing as ***********?

yes sure we do.......giggle

can you check the price to us

ok but what company is it?

what was that?

are you going to tell me what company you are?

No.........giggle

ok its Clark H E R

ah is that Bill?

how did you know is it cos I'm the craziest man ever?

lol well I knew it wasn't LV, I have not heard from him all week

no hes got a bad back hes been off work all week Mandy will start panicking soon

hope you get better soon LV

Really Tired

Not going to post much tonight as I am really tired.

It has been hectic at work the last few days, the phones have been playing up. Monday they were completely out for about 3 hours which led to Posh Bird getting all calls diverted to the sales office mobile. I then had this mobile glued to my ear for an hour as I tried to answer as many calls as I could many. At the end of each call there was a list of missed calls. Many of the calls were fax machines as customers attempted to send through their orders. Mind you it did mean that I got to chat to some customers who normally fax their orders.

Then when the telephone lines came back on it was a game of catch up for the rest of the afternoon. There has only been two of us most of the time, with me being the only one doing the job all the time. Yesterday and today the phones have cut out intermittently but only for a few minutes at a time.

Tomorrow I am going to be completely on my own. I think it will be a long day.

So now I am going to my room to watch The Apprentice and get an early night.

emails and voices

A couple of weeks ago I exchanged email addresses at work with one of the customers I talk to often. During one of our conversations I mentioned the piece I wrote about paint roller refills recently. He showed an interest so I sent it to him. Today he sent me this:



A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip.

He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped."Except what?" the man asked."Nothing, nothing.""C'mon, tell me! I need something!"



"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.""So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very oldwoodenbox, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.The businessman laughed, and said,



"Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to thedoor, and started pounding the keyhole.The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box! "The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more."I'll take it!" said the businessman.



The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch.



"After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said"Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her,still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo.



On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!



"The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right...Voodoo Penis, my arse.



"THE REST IS HISTORY...........



Now how on earth am I going to have a sensible conversation with him ever again. So I emailed him back......... Well that has shattered the illusion.



Pray what illusion



I don't do praying that would be a waste of time (what I didn't say was that I can think of other things to do when I am on my knees)



OK forget praying....what illusion



I really thought you were a gentleman





It will be interesting to see if he comes back with anything else.



Its a good thing my boss was out of the office as she has begun saying that she knows who I am talking to whenever I am chatting to him.......I guess now I had better think of a name for him in case I mention him again. Now let me see.........Biffa or maybe LV (lovely voice). which reminds me that I had to confess I had been thinking about him just seconds before he phoned today. I had just been talking to one of our Reps who I think has a very nice voice and I always call him young man which tickles him because although I don't think he sounds it he is apparently nearer 60 than 50. I had just put the phone down and was thinking that his voice reminds me of someone then remembered it was Biffa aka LV when the phone rang again and it was him.


Oh and tonight I have been exchanging emails with my very first internet friend from years 8 years ago, I know it is 8 years as she has just told me that the new grandaughter who came along whilst we were friends is now 7!! We kept in touch for several years but then life got in the way for a while. " days ago she sent me a chain email and I sent her a short note back, there were three of us originally I kept in touch wit the other lady for a little longer. Until my marriage was in melt down and SF was checking my emails etc we had a huge row when he read a supportive email from her, that was the day I thought he was going to rape me, about 3 years ago.

bits and pieces

Following my last post just for those who like Fat Controller don't have the time to trawl my archives I ahve posted a couple of photos here.

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both Brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth Grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said.'Okay' and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said To the little gir l, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers Down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!

She said 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBBLETS!!!

After a slight hiccup on Sunday night things are even better than ever for me and Romeo now all that is missing is him here with me. But I know that the time for us to be together is getting ever closer. We talked until 1.30am this morning even though he was due to be on a plane by 7am. As much as I hated to do it especially as we won't be able to chat for a few days I had to say goodnight to him as I was getting too cold otherwise I think we would have talked until it was time for him to get ready for his flight. I would then have been dead on my feet at work today.

Oh I have some news on the work front. My colleague is leaving on 25th April. This will leave me on my own working full time with BG part time and the possibility of another part time person to join us. I think this shows that my boss has faith in me to be able to manage the greater portion of the work on my own. I have no worries about my ability to do the work, I just need to speed up a bit as I learn more of the products without having to look up each item. I am slowly getting to grips with the product codes and getting a better idea of which orders are sufficient value not to warrant a small order surcharge. It is a slower process learning the customer A/c numbers, and remembering who each customer is ie Mike, Alan or Phil (we have a customer base of around 5,000) some send in their orders by fax or through our Reps but others (the part of the job I enjoy most) give their orders over the phone. I enjoy the flirting that I am able to do as part of my customer relations. After many years of being used to talking to two men the customers are now getting used to speaking to me. It is amazing how many when they call ask me to put them through to Sales, but slowly they are beginning to ask for me.

Absolutely Livid

I have been under stress for nearly a week now and I am hoping that this stress is soon to come to an end. I feel agitated, I am livid, I worry for not just him but myself and the boys also. He just didn't think as usual. He didn't realise the knock on effect his actions could cause.

Tonight I phoned him from my car and told him that I did not want to see him. He obliged by keeping out of my way. Since then we have talked and although the situation has not been resolved I have made it very clear what action is to be taken and the consequences if these directions are not followed.

I admire him, I am proud to call him mine, he is talented he is lovely, he is also very focused on what he wants at the expense of all else. who am I talking about? The one person who has given me the most cause to both cry and worry in recent months above any other living person. DC is a great lad, he is a good musician, artist etc but neither his music or his art work pay him a living.

So what has he done this time I hear you ask. If you have been keeping up with my blog in the last year you will be well aware that DC has money problems which in turn become my issues. He has not told me this but I heard this evening that on top of everything else his car was clamped last week. Some of you will remember that his band went on tour last November and I made many frantic calls to his friend to get DC to pay money into my bank account to cover his bills that are set up to come out of my bank account due to his bank problems. He told me a few weeks ago that they would be touring again. He showed me a few dates but they seemed to be much more scattered this time. Imagine my horror when I rang home last Thursday after work to remind him to make sure he had his money ready to pay his Provident loan (in my name!!) to be told that he had gone on tour.

By Sunday I was very agitated that he had neither returned home or made any contact. I had tried to phone him several times. I found out that his girlfriend didn't know when he would be home either. Approximately £200 had gone out of my bank account to pay his direct debits but no funds had been transferred in by him. Finally he arrived home at 5.30am on Tuesday. It now transpires that he has not been to work at all for a week but what has me most horrified is that his work had apparently called twice if not more to find out where he was. He had taken unuathorised leave and still has not tried to speak to his boss. So now I am not only worrying that he has not paid me the money for his debts but he has probably lost his job or at least come very close to losing it. Tonight I have also told him that he has come very close to losing his home too.

I love my son very much but he really has been a trial to me since he left school, these years should be good ones for him but they have been severly dampened by his heavy debts and the inabilty to keep them under control. I feel for him so much that he tries so hard to follow his dream but life just keeps on hindering him.

my penance

It felt really odd going to work today as I wore my jeans and a jumper and trainers. Normally I can be found in skirt, stockings and heels with a blouse or V necked sweater. I am convinced that today was my penance for a mistake I made last week. It wasn't but it is fun to think it was. I had to spend 3 hours, not the usual 5 minutes but three very weary hours in the deep freezer that is known by the name of our warehouse.When I applied for my current job my boss said that if I got the job she would want me to spend sometime in the warehouse in January so that I could learn the products at first hand. She wanted me to be shown around by Pete who is a senior 'picker'. But the warehouse manager thought he should do it. Boss didn't think this was a good idea as we would be messing around too much.

Last week Boss announced that I would get my training today wednesday with Reg the deputy warehouse manager. (that is what I called my penance) 3 hours with the most boring man, I now know how to pick an order (doh I think I could have done that without any training what so ever) and I could pack anything now. whatever size or shape (so long as it's not too heavy). All it takes is a lot of cardboard, parcel tape and rolls of industrial clingfilm. I know what should be packed inside other boxes and how to pack a set of brooms. What to do if I need to pack a single paste table or set of two tread steps. I know how to pack hazardous liquids and other fluids. I know all about increasing orders to pack sizes (very important that but you must remember not to increase by too many if it is something expensive!!). What I did not learn was anything about the products other than how to pack them. I do not know the difference between two brushes the same size or the different roller refills. Boss was not happy when she found out that they had not taught me about the products. So lucky me I get to spend more time down there on friday but this time with her.

Were you awake at 12.50am our time this morning? I was, I woke up from a pleasant dream to find that I had yet another sweet text wishing me sweet dreams. I have just checked and that text actually came through at 12.09am so it must have been a case of the earth moving for me that woke me. For anyone who doesn't know we had a very rare earthquake last night at approx 12.50. My Romeo is not in this country at the moment as he is away on business but even where he is he knew about the earthquake. He did ask me if I had felt it. I think I must have done but didn't realise at the time.

JVIP asked what constitutes romance to me...............does this answer your question.

sleep well, lets dream of each other and go to sleep holding each other

this was the last message I got from Romeo just a few minutes ago

How quickly things change

I started this week really miserable, but now I am happy.
I started this week not knowing where I stood with Skipper.
I started this week flat broke.
I started this week in floods of tears.

I went to the gym on monday with the idea of working hard at getting rid of my frustrations.
While I was there I discovered that my hard work has started to pay off I had lost 2.5lb in a week.
I text Skipper to find out where I stand. He made it clear that he does want to be with me. He has some important things to sort out first.
I managed to find enough money to get some electricity.
I managed to make DC realise that he must pay me back the money he has borrowed.

As the days have passed Skipper has been texting me allowing my confidence in him to grow.
Today my boss called me into the conference room to tell me that I shall be getting a pay rise in January. I am also getting a bonus in my November pay. You have to be there for a year to get the bonus but they decided to give me a bonus anyway. My boss also said that I am worth more than the job I am doing. (I knew that, which is why I had said I would only do it short term). This gave me the courage to say that I am now ready to work full time if she wanted to consider me for the sales job. I said I think I could do it, she said she knows I could. I have to hand in my CV, but she said the other applicants just have admin background not sales. My advantage being that I have been working for the sales team and picked up quite a lot as I have gone along.

While I was feeling pleased with myself I got an unexpected phone call from a man with a lovely gentle voice. which reminds me I must get offline as I ahve a date with that voice and my bed.
goodnight xx

Full circle

today I feel as though my life has gone full circle in the last year.

In september 2006 I said goodbye to Swinger as he was about to set off for his new life abroad. He had a few more days left in the UK but was busy tying up lose ends and saying goodbye to family. On the last day before he handed back his work phone we were texting each other as I was driving 38 miles to help my mother move my grandad from his bungalow to the rest home where he would be living from that day on. On my way there I had a puncture and had to pull over at the earliest opportunity. I text swinger what had happened and that as I was a lone woman RAC said they would have one of their vans with me within 90 mins. I clearly remember swinger thinking this was incredible.

By the time the RAC man had finally arrived decided that my wheel was beyond repair, driven me to the nearest town (where grandad was moving to)to buy a new wheel which had to be ordered from another town. We waited for the new wheel to be delivered then driven down one side of the dual carriage way to the end so we could turn around and come back down the other side. (my car being just one mile short of the end). I drove to the bungalow to meet my mum who had already moved grandad into the home without me. By now as grandad had been moved there was nothing left to do but have a late pub lunch. this was when I got my last text from swinger who was taking the piss out of me.

In October 2006 Swinger came back to the UK for a couple of weeks, he had told me not to miss him too much as he would see me soon. I prayed that he would arrive the week I had to go to court to be a witness against my ex husband in the case against him for harrassment and intimidating a witness (me). Yes he would be back that friday 3 days after the court case, this gave me something to look forward to. On the friday I was having a pub lunch with mother and grandad (he had to sign all the estate agents and solicitors forms) I was getting a series of very hot text from Swinger. We spent that night together. Then he was gone.

In the last week I have had emails from Swinger, today I heard that my grandad is ill again. He has never been in hospital until this year. He has now been in hospital twice and may need to go in again as he has a chest infection and has been confined to bed. The home have told my mother that he cannot stay there any more, he is now too frail, they cannot give him the care he needs. ( we have been expecting this, at 93 he has been declining in the last few months). We now need to find him a nursing home, preferrably one nearer to us.

This afternoon I had the dubious pleasure of my ex talking to me on the phone yada yada yada it went on and on. But one of the things he did tell me was that today his probation ended. He had to go into the probation office to be signed off. They have made it clear to him that he isn't to come near my home as I could have him jailed. As things stand at the moment I wont do that as we are currently on civil terms. but if he were to become a nuisance then I would.

The day my grandad moved into the home I had taken a day off work (I had only started the previous day on a temp contract).
The week before I had to go to court I was turned down for a permanent job because they wanted me to start on the Monday which I couldn't do as I knew I needed to be in court for two days of that week but would only find out the day before which days. Bad timing!!!
The day I first heard from Swinger again was the same day my current employer told me they would like me to stay on for another year. I only joined the company for 3 months in June.

Maybe I am reading too much into all this, maybe its all coincidences, perhaps not. I just know it all seems very odd to me.