The shock of uncharitable thoughts

I have just shocked myself and my poor mum.
Mother visited my brother D and his family today. She had a lovely time but has just rung to let me know that she is home and tired after driving the furthest she has driven for months. While we chatted I asked after my sister in law (S). I knew that S is due to go into hospital and will need time off work in January. But I didn't know why.

Apparently S has been suffering with endometritis which is something I can sympathise with. But my initial reaction was ........ah the poor girl........... but I was not being sympathetic at all. You see S is going to have a scrape and possibily a hysterectomy. Now I can sympathise with S over the pain and discomfort and the inconvenience she has suffered in the recent past. I can sympathise that she might have to undergo surgery and not be able to work for at least six weeks (especially at a time when she can't afford not to work).

But the reason I am feeling uncharitable is that I suffered in the same way for 26 years from the very onset of my menstral cycles when I was 14 (for once I was a late deveolper). My GP told me that I would grow out of it and be having normal periods by the age of 17. Well he could not have been more wrong.

I never knew when my period was going to arrive, my periods where described as 'irregular' I could go anything from 7 days to 7 months between the end of one period and the start of the next. Each one lasted a minimum of 10 days of which 8 were very heavy and very painful. I could wake up in a pool of blood or as often happened it would start during a lesson at school. I would get to the end of a lessson and stand to leave the classroom to discover that my skirt was soaked in blood. This continued right through my adult life. With the exception of the times I was either pregnant or thought I was due to the month after month of no period (the longest time being 10 months). I could have worn towels or tampons every day which would have eliminated the problem of unexpected floods. But I wanted to live without those restrictions.

I did have various tests which concluded that I had a disease of the ovaries which prevented them from working properly. I am very lucky to have my sons because many women who have this problem don't conceive. I can't at this moment think of the name of the disease except that it was poly something of the ovaries. A side effect of this is oesteoporosis, this meant that I was put on the mini pill for 5 years to slow down the problems with my lack of bone density. During the times when I didn't bleed for months on end I would convince myself that I was pregnant, (I spent a fortune on pregnancy tests that were negative). But then out of the blue I would flood.

So whilst I didn't have as many periods as many other women I have no idea how a normal period feels as mine were always without exception long heavy and very painful. The only time my periods were 'regular' was when I was on the pill. But even then although the timing was controlled by the pill they were still very heavy and painful.

So really I guess I am not unsympathetic to what S is going through just pissed off that these days there is an easy fix when I suffered for 26 years with never a mention of anything that could be done to ease my problems.

Further more when I found the link for this post I noticed this ...........................

Patients suffering from chronic endometritis often have an underlying cancer of the cervix or endometrium.

Could this be an indication that as long ago as when I was 14 I was already destined to have cervical cancer even if I was not diagnosed with it until I was 38. Now I am thankful that my cancer treatment has brought about the end of the painful periods which could in themselves have even have been a symptom of that cancer. Before anyone suggests that it was early sexual activity that causes this I did not have my first sexual encounter (with my first love) until I was 17 which is in many circles considered to be fairly late.