Monday, 27 July 2009

Being pro active

I wouldn't want to go through the last week again in a hurry.

Nearly everyday I received at least one new statement from the TCO (tax credit office). Each day the amount of my alleged over payment was mounting. There is absolutely no way that I could both pay my rent and feed my family on the money I was left with. By wednesday I had no cereal, bread or milk left in the house, under £1 in my purse and not enough fuel to get to work and back. I managed to concoct some food for my evening meal but didn't manage to keep it down. I had earlier been thinking about taking a day off on Thursday because I needed a break. But I had decided to have the day off on Friday instead and make it a long weekend. But now that I was poorly I was forced to stay at home on both Thursday and Friday.

I spent a lot of Thursday and Friday in tears. It has been a long time since I was so down. But even though I was feeling so very low, I was determined not to just accept the situation. Letters were written to TCO and my local MP with a further copy being emailed to Tessa Jowell in her role as HM Paymaster General. Time was spent scanning all the statements onto the computer. I applied for and was accepted for a top up on my personal loan (with my monthly repayments increasing by just £7). I felt so much better for being pro active. I don't know if I can over turn or perhaps reduce the alleged over payments but at least I have tried to do something about it.

During this time I have also had some long heart to heart emails with a guy I have been in contact with for a few weeks. The upshot of all this is that he disagrees with all the advice that women have about men. The main thing being that women should just be themselves and not give the impression of being too strong. Strong women scare men away, men like to feel protective. I know he is right, my friend PB and her husband of more than 20 years split for this very reason. He felt he wasn't needed by his strong independent wife.

Talking of men, there has been a very unexpected twist in the tale. Two years ago I was seeing Forest but so infrequently that I was also seeing Oxo. Not long after my bust up with Forest I alo stopped seeing Oxo. It did take some time before he accepted that I wasn't going to be persuaded to see him any more. I had decided by then that I was ready to have a proper relationship. Oxo told me that he would wait for me. I knew he liked me a lot, but he wasn't interested in having a relationship.

On Saturday night I had been reading a message on one of the dating sites when I saw a photo that I recognised. It was Oxo, I sent him a very brief message using the code word we had used . Although he didn't recognise the photo of me with my glasses he knew straight away that it was me. A couple of emails and phone calls later he was telling me that he had thought we had something special before I went off and found myself a romance. He wants me back but I told him that I am only looking for a relationship not just a casual fling. We have agreed to give it a try. I don't know how this will pan out but only time will tell.


Fire Byrd said...

I'm so glad that good things came out of adversity. Sometimes we really have to get to the bottom before we can take action.
Hope your feeling better now as well as pro active.

Dark Side said...

Well done you I am so pleased that things are hopefully starting to turn round, keep fighting tax credits and good luck with the new romance..(((hugs))) xx

CheekyDani said...

I really don't understand how the HMRC work!! How can they give tax credits one year, only to decide several years later it was too much and demand it back - in the middle of a recession! It's ludicrous. I'm not surprised you were ill really.

Good luck with Oxo... need to know more about him!!!


Dazza said...

All the best with both situations!!


MarmiteToasty said...

I caught the last day to do me tax credits today over the phone.... they've been brilliant with me over the past few months with my chopping and changing cos of me op from hell.... will just have to wait and see whats what when the paperwork is sent to me :)

I do not know how you keep up with all your online maties lol Im sure I would call one of them by the wrong name or get confused as who lived where etc lol its probably best just to go out or chat with bloke of the same name lol

Hope alls well with you and your mob...


Mel said...

Honestly--I had to step away from the computer.
I got angry at the circumstances. I just don't like that you're having to 'figure it out' and having to deal with the messes it's created. Of course, I know life isn't 'fair'. But truly...I don't understand their methods and don't muchly like them.

I'll get over it, I'm sure.
I do applaud you keeping your head about you and getting into the solution. I also applaud you not simply 'rolling over' and taking it.

I find the method to their madness unacceptable.


(((((((((((( YOU )))))))))))))

Anonymous said...