Friday, 17 July 2009

Taking back my love

Tonight as I began my drive home this track came on my radio. I have liked this song since the first time I heard it. But tonight I paid more attention to the words and made a decision I didn't think I would be able to make (or at least not for a long time).

The more I thought about it the more I knew it was something I had to do, it wouldn't be easy and I expect I shall cry before the night is out. To help me I have started on the bottle of smirnoff I had been saving for some unknown reason.


I have deleted Romeo's emails and his email address. I would have deleted the hundreds of text messages but last week my mobile phone died. I now have a brand new pink Sony Ericcson C905 but have lost most of the phone numbers and all my text messages and photos. Next I have to delete his photos from my computer, that will be the hardest part.


I am taking back my love. I gave him too much of myself and got so very little back. This doesn't mean that I have stopped loving him, it means I have made the decision to close the door. Even if he came back he doesn't deserve my love. I need to put him in the past stop hoping that one day the fairy tale would have a happy ending.


I know I will never be happy with anyone else all the time I was still wanting/loving/pining for him. I need to be able to open up my heart and let someone else in. I would have like to get some closure from him but it has now been 7 months since I last heard from him so that is never going to happen. Next week it would be a year since this happened.


I will never forget how that day felt, or how he made me feel, but it is time to put it behind me.


8 comments:

MarmiteToasty said...

(((LIR))) Im proud of you, you DO deserve so much better.... and I still think he used you, only love is blind right :)....

x

Lady in red said...

thanks Marmie

Joanna Cake said...

Sometimes you just have to stop 'being there' and get on with your life x

Fire Byrd said...

..... as one door closes, another one opens... fingers crossed!
xx

CheekyDani said...

Good brave girl. Big hugs honey x

DJ Kirkby said...

Great title and great move. Go easy on the vodka, it is loaded with sugar.

Dark Side said...

I knew you would get there eventually and I am pleased to hear you are now.....you have done the right thing and I am very proud of you...(((hugs))) xx

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