Sunday, 25 October 2009

To blog or not to blog

I am not sure how much longer I shall continue to blog. In the last year I have seen many of my blogger friends give up blogging. Whilst I am still here I don't blog anything like as much as I have done in the past. Days and sometimes even weeks go by before it even occurs to me to visit blogs. Now that is not how it was, there was a long time when I was visiting blogs several times a day not only to read new posts but to keep up with the comments too.

I think I have changed in the last few years since I began blogging. whether I realised it or not I used blogging as a kind of validation. friends leaving comments meant that people liked reading what I wrote. That made me feel good inside. But now I don't need other people to make me feel good. I feel more confident more worthy without the validation of others. Therefore I write less frequently, which in turn means that less people bother to read my blog and even fewer bother to leave comments. In the past I would have found this hard, but right now I am feeling good about myself and don't need the validation so much.

However I am glad that I have been blogging for the last 3 or is it 4 years as I have made some good friends and I shall stay in touch with those that I can even without a blog. If I don't have your email address and you would like to stay in touch, if I do give up blogging which is by no means certain at this moment in time please feel free to email me at

In the last six months I have been feeling closer to my sons than I had been for a long time. We have always had a close bond but now I feel even closer to them even those who are not here. OJ turned 19 on Thursday and returned home on friday, his first trip home by train. I collected him from the station and we joined my mother and friend at a rotary club evening. My boys have been to several rotary quizzes and murder mystery evenings, this one was 'call my bluff'. The panel were brilliant, the food was provided by a local Spanish Restaurant (selection of tapas which I have never tried before). Next weekend I am being taken to a Spanish restaurant (I am wondering if it will be the same one) by a friend of the restauranteur.

I had been feeling on top of the world on Friday until about mid afternoon when a niggly pain in my temple started. For me this meant that although I enjoyed the evening I had difficulty keeping my concentration (especially as I had my back to the stage and had to turn right round). I found myself people watching whilst I half listened to the hilarious (but seriously delivered) definitions of the strangest of words. Being a rotary evening as I would expect the average age of those in attendance were 20 or 30 years my senior. I did notice though how much these people were all enjoying not only the entertainment and each other's company but the food and drink (there are always copious amounts of wine drunk at these events). I noticed that these men and women, mostly retired professionals know how to enjoy life (many are still children at heart giggling and telling jokes). Their lives are so very different from mine, but it made me realise that growing older doesn't mean we have to stop enjoying life. The pace of life might slow down a little but it doesn't have to stop. I hope that I am enjoying life like they do in 20 years time.


Fire Byrd said...

I think your right about blogging we grow out of it. And we started it when we needed it. Although I'm still in a place where I don't have a group of real people nearby so I still reach out here for friends around the world. As my real friends are all a distance away. So to get that instant comment fix when I need the real person support works for me. And as we both know bloggers who have become real friends are worth their weight in gold.
Hope the migraine has cleared up now.

CheekyDani said...

I have found blogging useful for just getting my thoughts into order - I just haven't had the time or energy to blog of late. I will blog again but perhaps not with the voracity I used to. I'm sure we'll keep in touch either way x

Mel said...

I've watched as you've grown and that relatioship with yourself and your kiddos has evolved. It's been an awesome thing--a good thing.

We all put fingers to keyboard for reasons of our own.....with a purpose. If the purpose has evolved, as purposes and reasons ought to do--then I say good for what's right for you, what's good for you--what NOW works for you.
It's a part of the process...and I'm glad you're in it.

(((((((( LIR )))))))))

The pleasure, dearheart--has been all mine. :-)

Lady in red said...

Fire like you most of my friends are scattered around not only the country but around the world.

You are right bloggers who have become real friends are worth their weight in gold.

I doubt I shall close my blogs but will just fade away. I shall only close them if they become a threat to my real world.

Lady in red said...

Dani I too ahve found blogging very good for getting my thoughts straight. Sometimes I start writing not really knowing what I think until I have written it. (hope that makes sense).

There may still be times when I need to do this.

Lady in red said...

Mel you have become a dear friend whose comments I treasure. I hope all is well with you and the Brit.
I adore you beautiful photos and love the wise fairies.


nitebyrd said...

LIR, while I would be sad to see you leave blogdom, I can understand your reasons. You've evolved over the past few years and there is a new joy and confidence in your writing. I believe you will be having a wonderful time in 20 years, grabbing life by the hand and dancing.

I will keep in touch as your blog fades away in my usual erratic style. You were one of my first commentors and I will never, ever forget that!

Fat Controller said...

One of the joys of blogging for me has been the remarkable people it has put me in touch with, who I would never otherwise have met - your good self included!

Validation is a part of it of course, and it is positive that you are getting that elsewhere now, but I also use writing in this forum as a creative outlet, which I would miss if I didn't have it and I know you have tons of creativity in you as well.

As to Rotarians, we're not all old and decrepit. Some of us are just decrepit! I don't know if our club is the exception but it has been many years since I was the youngest member and I still think of myself as moderately youthful!

Rach said...

It's strange that you have posted this today when I have written my first post in three months.

I know what you mean though about blogging because I think we were all in the same place when we started, I am lucky I suppose in having the friends close by that I do but when I started blogging it was to try and get it out of my system with anyone there to comment personally.

All that said though people like yourself/Laney and Reen got me through some very tough times and for that I will always be grateful..

(((hugs))) xxx

lakeviewer said...

Hi. I've come from Fire Byrd. Blogging is addictive, for this very reasong that I'm here: we meet new people and there are no obligations to return. If and when we do, it is because something sounds honest and appealing about the other person, somehow beginning to be a hand in friendship.

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