Just call me Rose

Did I ever tell you that my name is Rose?

Have you ever heard of second hand Rose?

Well thats me. Second Hand Rose

Why am I telling you this now you might ask.

Back at the end of November I was asked if I wanted to change my 3 piece suite. I was being offered my friend PB's parents' suite as they were getting a new one. I was shown a photo of a suite in the same colour scheme as my livingroom. The yellow suite I have had for the last 5 years or so had previously belonged to PB and her then husband. As had the pink suite we had before that. Having 4 sons who were not only football and cricket mad but also into wrestling it didn't take long for these sofas to be ruined. I am glad I have never had new furniture while my boys were intent on climbing and jumping all over it. This time though I am hoping that the two still at home are old enough and mature enough to treat our furniture with more respect.

So today was the day my new suite was delievered by PB and my boss. But before they could deliver it I needed to make room for it. I had decided to keep the 2 seater sofa but throw out the 3 seater. Saturday evening saw me and ET attempting to get it out through the kitchen to our back garden. (I am planning to get a skip sometime soon to get rid of all the rubbish that is still there). Between us we manouvered it to the doorway upended it and began to move it through the gap. Half way through it wedged itself with just a couple of inches on either side I was stuck in the kitchen whilst ET was in the livingroom. It wouldn't move either way, so ET stood on the other sofa to reach the side of the arm cutting away at the fabric and foam covering in the hope that this would make a difference. When he had stripped away as much as he could there was nothing more he could do. Eventually we managed to get it back into the livingroom. It didn't matter which way we turned it, there was noway it was going to fit.

There was nothing else for it but to set about dismantling it. Out came my mallet and a pair of scissors. I excused ET saying I would call him when I need him. I actually enjoy weilding my mallet, seeing something solid reduced to a pile of wood and fabric. Not only does it give me great satisfaction but it is easier to get it outside and eventually into my car to the tip. I managed to break it down enough to get it through the kitchen door swivel it round and out through the back door..............all on my own. Then the clearing up process began. It's no wonder my shoulder has been aching since.

Now that I have a new two seater sofa and two arm chairs I think the old 2 seater will have to go too as there is not enough room otherwise.

This afternoon I took my mum out for a short drive. Nowhere exciting just to get her out of the house as she is feeling the effects of cabin fever now after a month of being stuck inside.

The good, bad and the ugly

There have been some good things this week.

The money I had found last week was given to me mid week as it hadn't been claimed even though every female in the building was asked if they had lost any.

I had a very pleasant evening with a certain friend last Sunday.

I now have my train ticket for my journey home from the trade show next weekend (paid for by the Company).

this is a snippet of a conversation last night............
i know silly its me being happy and stupid
happy and stupid?
at the moment feel very happy cause i am talking to u
aww that's lovely kiss
but would like to try anything that makes u happy

I was invited to join a new social group set up by my friend Fire Byrd. (if you would like to have a look and maybe join then please go here)

There was something bad this week

I received my annual rent review. As from March my rent is being increased by 7% .......as if it wasn't already a struggle!!

That just leaves the ugly

Today I saw a Jaguar drive into the office car park. Now in itself that would be a good thing, I am sure that by now you are aware that I have an obsession with these beautiful cars. But this was just criminal...........this jag was being used as a taxi cab and as such had the taxi cab telephone number and name plastered along the sides and along the top of the windscreen. How could anyone do such a thing to one of these beautiful cars?

not an old boiler

I have just had a good week

Not an exceptional week but a fairly decent one. On Tuesday I had a call from Spark he was placing an order but will only speak to me so instead of calling the office he calls my mobile. Not that I mind much. Because of the nature of his business he tends to collect his orders rather than have them delivered. But this time it was going to be difficult so he asked if I would be able to meet him to deliver his goods. As our journeys home from work took us in opposite directions along the same road.

So on Tuesday after work I drove over the hill to the Gladstonian where I parked next to spark's car. No sooner was I out of the car than he was kissing me. I broke out of his embrace and suggested we transfer the parcels from my car to his. He asked if we could sit in my car for a bit.
After a little more kissing Spark told me that he has thought about me a lot. He asked if I had been thinking about him and did I ever think we might meet up again.

'no not really..............you are not available and I am worth more than a quick fumble in a car'.

I think that suprised him. Although he did agree with me quite emphatically about being worth more. We talked and kissed for a while before going our seperate ways.

On wednesday late afternoon I found some money that someone had dropped. It was quite a bit of money and I could really do with it at this time. It would be really helpful a I don't get paid until next friday. I was telling Plumber about it later and he said

'I hope you kept it......but knowing you, you did the honest thing and handed it in.'

of course he was right, I did hand it in. Although it was very tempting I know I would be devastated if I had lost that amount of money and it didn't get handed in, besides I believe in Karma. It also felt good to be doing the right thing.

During my chat with Plumber I told him that I was meant to be going out on Saturday evening with a friend but I might have to tell her I couldn't afford it. I told him which pub in the city we were going to. I know that the band he roadie's for play there sometimes. But he told me we should go to their gig at a more local pub (in the village where my friend now lives) on friday. He even said he would give me money for drinks.

Work has been good too.....the volume of work coming in is not high but I have been able to make progress with a few of my projects. There is also a trade show at the Birmingham NEC very soon which my boss will be attending with a trade stand for several days. I shall be there on the Sunday which will be good experience for me and good for my networking. I have a choice now....do I drive there and back on the Sunday knowing that I will have to be in the office working on the Monday. Or get a lift there and train home (2 1/2 hrs drive or 3 1/2 hrs by train).

I was telling Forest about going up to the show, he thought I meant this Sunday, which would put paid to his plan to invite me round for some fun this sunday evening. After clearing up that bit of confusion I said I would consider it and let him know.

Friday evening arrived my friend picked me up and took me back to her place from where we walked to the pub which was already buzzing. A double rum and coke or two later when the band had begun playing I turned around and found one of my neighbours stood behind me. We chatted for a few minutes, our sons are friends. It occurred to me that I might be able to get a lift home with him. However he only stayed for the first set so that was no good. In the end I asked Plumber if he knew anyone who could give me a lift otherwise I would have to order a taxi. Plumber said that he could take me but I would have to wait for him to load up the van drive it to the drummer's house not far away and come back with his car.

His mate who has been over from his new home in a warmer european country (staying with him) offered to wait with me. He was very friendly and told me all about the lifestyle where he now lives. He did say 'so you know plumber then'. I was very vague just saying 'yes we are friends'. Fortunately our transport arrived just then. I climbed in the back and Plumber drove me home. On arrival he walked me to my back door (out of sight of his car) where he kissed me, told me that his mate doesn't know he is seperated. Noticed the state of my garden fence (which we had discussed at the time it came down a few months ago). He also said that he hoped I would be able to go to he party they were having on Saturday night.

I was feeling hungry when I got in so made a pasta snack but used too much water so it was too sloppy but at 1am I wasn't going to make anything else. To my suprise when I turned on my laptop Forest was there saying 'hello drunk' . I had warned him earlier that I was going out drinking. ( he isn't a night owl like me). I am afriad I fell asleep chatting to him. when I woke up half an hour later he had said good night so had Plumber who had also tried to chat to me.

Whilst at my mother's on saturday afternoon ET called to say there was a problem with our boiler, he had put more gas on but couldn't get the boiler to fire up. I went home to sort it out only to discover that it has lost pressure and needs to be re-pressurised. Fine! we followed all te instructions, locate flexible filler loop. That was the problem we couldn't find one. We checked online, I called Plumber and LV for help. Plumber was very good spending ages trying to help me on the phone but wasn't available to come round. He was setting up the gear for the night's gig in a village a little way off. (I told him I wasn't going after all as my friend couldn't get a babysitter). If I couldn't get it sorted he would call round on sunday to fix it for me.

I called LV who also spent ages on the phone trying to find the solution. Between all of us we conclude that the 'flexible filling loop' has been hard fitted, but I couldn't get it to do anything. So here I am on sunday morning feeling cold and unwashed. Waiting for a suitable time to request a visit from Plumber.





Plumber has been and took all of a minute to fix the problem :)

Unsung hero's

One thing that impressed me during my hours of snowbound travel was the spirit of the people around me.

At various times people would leave their vehicles in search of news then on returning they would stop and share what news there was with others. When cars were stuck others gave a helping hand with pushing them until they could move without help.

When I reached the village 2.5 hours after leaving work, I got out of my car. The man from the car ahead of me (KFC)was standing around with his large umbrella he offered me shelter from the snow while we both stretched our legs. I had been trying to contact my sons to tell them why I wasn't home, but I couldn't get a signal. He offered me the use of his phone which was on another network.

During another break in our progress he went off to the garage to buy a sandwich. On his return he asked if I needed anything. Later when we were at another junction further on from the garage an elderly gentleman from a couple of cars behind me asked to borrow my mobile (I was using it to listen to local radio and to text my family ). KFC offered him the use of his phone. The elderly man was then able to contact an aquaintance to arrange a bed for the night. He was then assisted to move his car to the side of the road so he could walk off.

The car behind mine had a family including a girl of around 8 or 9 who seemed to be enjoying the adventure and played in the snow a bit. Her father and KFC helped me to find and fit my towing eye. There were people from nearby houses walking along offering hot drinks food and toilets. They also organised somewhere for people to go to if they were not able to go any further. They kept us informed of what was happening further up the hill where a farmer was towing cars with his tractor to the top of the long steep hill.

When it was almost our turn to be towed by the tractor locals gave us a push start to get as far up as we could. While I was being hooked up to the tractor the father from behind tried to give the tractor driver some cash to thank him for his work. But it was refused.

At one point when I was talking to the woman a couple of cars ahead she was very worried about having to walk the last few miles home. KFC lives in the same town, he said he would walk her home before continuing the last few miles himself.

Whilst all this was going on I was listening to the local radio in the hope of hearing anything useful. The entire time the only topic was the snow and the traffic problems. There were lots of tales of people helping motorists. Including a couple who had been not only giving motorist a helping push but hot drinks and toilet stop for some. They even gave a bed to an old lady in her 90's who had got stuck. The wife told how they had lost their son in Afghanistan last year and doing their bit to help in this current crisis had suddenly brought meaning back into her husband's life.

Drivers of 4 x 4's including a family friend were giving care workers lifts to work.

These people made what could have been a miserable experience less painful to endure. It is the way people pull together like this in times of crisis that put the Great back into Britain.

Snow happens

Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen here.

Driving to work in the morning I heard on the radio that we were expecting heavy snow by the afternoon rush hour. Yeah right what a laugh ..........we don't get snow here..........even when the surrounding area gets snow it misses this immediate area by the south coast between the Isle of Wight and South downs. On the few occassions that we do get snow it might just cover the ground and be gone again between 12 to 24 hours. (Thats what happened when we had snow a week before christmas).

Heavy snow by the rush hour ............hmmm 4.45 it began to rain .......thats rain not snow not even sleet. Ok so just before we left work at 5 the rain had turned to sleet. Yes sleet but still not snow. Walking out to my car (sorry my mum's car .....I'm using that while shes in hospital), a few lumps of snow were falling. It was my intention to visit my mum at hospital on my way home (but I wouldn't stay long).

Two miles later I knew that this was going to be serious. The snow was laying very quickly, while stuck in very slow moving traffic I phoned mother to say I wouldn't visit. It took me an hour to reach the turn for the road down the hill towards the hospital. I had already seen that each and every turn was blocked with traffic. I could hear on the radio that the motorway was very bad on the stretch between the city and my town. I took the decision (maybe the wrong one) to take the road that goes down the back of the hill rather the south side where the roads off the hill were steeper. (I now know that one of our directors who lies on the south face of the hill skidded into a ditch before walking home.)Within yards of setting off down I was sliding and the brakes were not working. I turned the engine off and steered into a layby at the back of the ship on the hill. there were cars parked along the other side of the road and people milling around, one man asked me if there had been an accident on the top of the hill. I think it was just sheer numbers stuck in the already heavy snow. It had been snowing for about 40 minutes by then. Gradually I made my way down the hill and onto flatter ground where I was able to drive at around 10mph until I joined the queue of traffic trying to get into Wickham.

I had been on the road for 2.5 hours by the time I reached the village. This was when I got out of the car and chatted to the man from the car in front of me. He let me use his phone to call home as I couldn't get through on mine ....................got no answer (obviously too busy playing game on ps3). After several repeats of move a few car lengths then stop for ages we reached the junction beside the garage I had to go use their toilet (damn there was a queue). They must have had their best night ever for food if not fuel. Then it was the slow climb up the hill towards my town.I guess I must have been about a 3rd of the way up the hill when we stopped for what seemed like forever.

There were families from nearby houses out telling people what was happening, offering hot drinks, biscuits etc.....they were organising the community centre for people who needed somewhere to stay. Someone was going along the line of cars that hadn't already been abandoned checking to see if they had a 'towing eye'. I had no idea as it wasn't my car. With the help of the men from the cars around mine we discovered that there was one slotted inside the spare tyre pack. This was fitted to the front of the car. By the time I got a push start up the hill as far as I could go it was 10.30pm. When I ground to a stop about 2/3rds of the way up there were just 3 more cars ahead of me then it was my turn to be hooked up to the tractor with instructions to keep it in 2nd gear and drive normally but if I start catching up with tractor just take foot off excelerator. He pulled me to the top of the hill then told me to stay in high gear with low revs and I should be ok.

I got as far as the edge of town where I reached the steep hill that I just knew I shouldn't even attempt, I could see there were no fresh tyre marks on the hill so pulled over to the side. It didn't matter which route I took I had a steep hill to get to home. I was now stuck in deep snow and couldn't move back or forward. So I had gone as far as I could in the car. It was now time to start the plod home. It was 11pm when I started walking and 11.55 when I walked through the door.

Incredibly I didn't feel cold whilst walking even though I was wearing court shoes with a 1.5" heel and going through snow that was over my ankles. I wasn't even wearing socks just knee high nylons under my thin trousers. It was also extremely light. Walking along the ridge I stopped to take a picture of the motorway below where there was a string of lights from the crawling traffic in both directions as far as could be seen. (you might need to click o the image to see it the lights)

There were places where it was impossible to walk on the pavement as trees were so heavy with snow that they were bowed down in some places to the path below.


This morning after speaking to PB (who left work early yesterday because she was ill) the office is shut ......not that I was going to try getting in. I ventured out to the local garage to get milk and bread......there was no bread!! It had started snowing again so I must have looked like a walking snow woman when I got home. Here are a few photos I took this morning.

I am who I am

Relax ....release .....let go!

I read these words on Mel's blog and it reminded me of something that was said to me last summer.

Remember Dylan ? I saw him a few times during the summer. He was a bit of an oddball but he seemed pleasant enough and he liked kissing me, holding hands and cuddling. So because he liked those things I will forgive him for being a total ummm what can I call him ok I will just say a total Dylan.

Anyway Dylan was a qualified counsellor...........um alarm bells should have begun ringing straight away. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being a counsellor after all some of my closet friends are also in that line of work.

He had a knack of getting me to open up. He would say something in an email that would open up the flood gates. I would start writing a brief reply and end up pouring out my soul. It was very cleansing for me and he said that he was glad that I had felt able to tell him the things I did. He said that he often seems to have this effect on women. That's good it wasn't just me then.

During our face to face conversations I would be telling anecdotal tales and would mention something about my ex or my illness etc. He told me that I should mentally put my ex into a box tied with ribbon, place it on a river and let it float away. Ok I can see that this could be useful. But I was not about to do this. I can understand that he was trying to help. He wanted me to forget about my past and move on. Yeah I get that really I do. I also get that he saw my ex as my baggage.

I don't know about you other girls and boys who are dating but a lot of people talk about baggage. Either declarations of not having any or not wanting to meet someone with baggage.

Now I figure that some people might perceive me as having a lot of baggage. Personally I don't think I have any baggage.

I have children (young adults really) but they will never be considered baggage by me, why should any child/young adult be given such a label?

I have a past life .............doh so has everyone unless they just suddenly woke up from a deep coma. If you are the real Sleeping Beauty I apologise for being so dismissive.

I can understand that it could be classed as baggage if events in your past make you bitter. But for me and I would assume most normal people my past is just that 'my past' I don't and won't pretend I don't have a past (even if I prefer not to mention some things). I won't pretend that my life has been easy, that the challenges I have been through didn't exist.

Everything in my past (distant or recent) good or bad, are a part of me. It is the past that has made me the person I am today. The things that happen today or in the near future will shape who I am in years to come. If I hadn't gone through the difficult marriage, cancer, difficult divorce, financial problems, rape or any of the other things that have occurred in my life I would not be the person I am now.

I hope that my past has shaped me into a good, caring, happy individual with a zest for life and a willingness to try many things.

Without the traumas of my past I might possibly be a very shy withdrawn person who lives through her children but has no life as a person, no personality, no sparkle just a drab lump of being.

If my past is baggage then I celebrate my baggage.

Dylan's final words were that I told him too much...........if he didn't want to know he shouldn't have encouraged me to open up so much, so thoroughly, so painfully. I know I am very open, but I have never told any one person so much as I did in those emails (replies to his probing). There were times when I made a simple comment and his reaction was far too deep. He needs to learn not to analyse everything anyone says so deeply and just accept that some things need to be taken at face value. It was his probing and constant analysing of everything I said that led to my revelations that were too much for him.

At the end of the day I am who I am whether you call it baggage or not.

Just how New Years Day should be

After a late night and no I was not out partying I was at home with one of my sons while the others were all out enjoying themselves.

I slept in, had a very vivid dream about Mr Passionate. In which I had sent him no less than 4 New Year Text messages so of course he just had to come and find me. No it was not a naughty dream ...well ok it was naughty if you count the fact that he is married and in this dream he was surrounded by 3 yes 3 former lovers. but the actual content of the dream was not naughty.

When I finally awoke from my slumbers I figured I should email him to wish him a Happy New Year and hope that all is going well in his life since he moved out of the area. I had purposefully not done so last night, I even half thought I might have deleted him from my contacts during my most recent culling of names I no longer speak to.

This led to some blog writing yes this is my second post on here in two days. I have also written posts on all my other blogs ................get the Dr I must be ill. So much writing in one day, I have not done that in a long time.

By lunch time I had decided that today would be what is known as a pyjama day (for me at least). My sons were going to their father's for dinner or was it lunch (3pm) but first the 3 eldest boys went to visit my mother to help her move furniture around to make life easier for her when she comes home from hospital. She goes in on Monday morning (I have to get her there for 7am) for her latest knee op. DC drove them there and later took them to their dad's so I didn't need to get up as I wasn't going anywhere. Once I had finished writing and reading blogs I ran myself a hot soapy bath and managed to relax among the frothy bubbles for 40 minutes.

I am now dressed, even bothered to put on make up and jewellery, my curry is in the oven and I am about to paint my nails which I have not done for months (probably before the summer). No I am still not going anywhere but who says I can't dress up and look my best just to lounge around indoors with my sons who have now returned home.

Bliss ...............music playing on the radio and a glass of spiced rum and coke at the ready.