Following my last post Queen of Gullible the question of whether I am desperate for a man has been raised.
Now I ask you this................why would I be desperate for a man?
I was married for too many years to want to be married again in a hurry.
One of the reasons I divorced him was so that I could make my own decisions without having to always defer to him first. (not a major reason for divorce but a welcome bonus).
Whilst I was still unhappily married I was scornful of women who had to have a man in their life.
Now here I am giving an impression that I must have a man in my life.
I am not one of those women who can only be happy if there is a man in their life.
I am and have since my divorce been happy with myself, my self confidence has grown immensely. After years of emotional and verbal abuse I had to relearn to love myself. Now I am in a place where I do.
I do not need anyone male or female to make me happy I do that myself. That does not mean that having a man in my life would not add to my happiness, it just isn't the recipe to happiness. I decided several years ago to be happy and I trully believe that we all choose whether to be happy or miserable. I choose to be happy. I do have off days where I am not so happy but they are few and far between.
I take great store in being independent, managing on my own, being able to do everything a man can do. I have always believed that anything a man can do so can a woman. I do love to be feminine but I am also just as happy to get my hands dirty doing practical stuff. (that doesn't mean I am good at it but then not all men are either). A few years ago I said that there are only two things I need a man for.......putting up wallpaper and sex. So how do I manage .......I don't do wallpaper I paint my walls and for sex well that is easy .............I have Forest for that .....my 'occasional indulgence'.
So why would I want a man in my life........well thats obvious isn't it
To put up shelves and curtain poles, to unblock the toilet ...................to cut the hedge........strip wallpaper, all things that I am capable and do, do myself. But it would be nice to have some help with these things.
To share things with, holding hands walking along the beach, going out for meals or to the theatre/cinema. To go on holiday with.
I have struggled financially through out my life both during and since my marriage. It would be nice to have someone to share the burden with. Someone I can treat sometimes, someone to treat me occasionally.
For 20 years I was starved of affection, this has left me craving affection, it is very difficult for a naturally tactile and affectionate person to live in a world without intimacy.
All of these things are reasons I would like to have a man in my life but even without any of these things I am still happy.
I know that having a man in my life will not make me happy.............anyone who knows me knows that I am happy already.........a man in my life will only enrich the life I already have.
My idea of a perfect relationship is one where you live close to each other but not together. I think adjoining houses with a connecting door that you can lock would be great.
“Doing” a Doctorate – week 16
6 hours ago